What Happens to The Ashes After a Buddhist Funneral ?

[Chao Lao Beach]

Subject kind is the question.

[Riley'sLife]

Usually the whole immediate family return to the crematorium (at the Wat) the day after the funeral to retrieve the ashes, and coins (that had been placed in the mouth of the deceased prior to cremation). The family will have already decided upon the final resting place and will take the remains to their chosen location.

[tcris52]

My wife's parents' were placed in one of those "pagoda"-like shrines that are around the grounds of many temples. The family congregates there at holidays such as Songkran, New Year, and various other days to pay their respects.

[Farma]

I've participated in the retrieval of post cremation remains at 2 funerals. What happens may vary on local customs.

The remains were removed from the crematorium oven the morning after the cremation. There was a metal tray in the cremation cart that collected the remains. The tray was removed and the bones and ash tipped into a muslin cloth placed near to the crematorium.

Water was poured over the remains washing the ash onto the temple grounds and leaving the remaining pieces of bone. The bone fragments were then collected with larger pieces placed in a mortar. A pestle was used to reduce them to smaller sizes to fit into a large coffee bottle sized container.

The remains of one person who had a close association with the temple was placed in a special container on one of the temple fence posts. The other persons family placed his remains in a hole dug in the temple grounds. I've also seen families keep the remains of a relative in the little indoor spirit houses some houses have.

[Somsrisonphimai]

It is depended on the decadent and family's wishes. For example, when my grandma passed away, children decided to take her ash to the Moon river where she lived close by and sprinkled the majority of it in the river, and the rest of it her children took it and kept it in their home.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[maybefitz]

My recent MIL funeral, after the cremation, (3 days) the ashes were collected, a simple ceremony with the monks and the ashes were made into fireworks.

What a way to go!! Leave this planet with a big bang - I've told my wife I want the same when my numbers up.

[writeshack]

Sometimes the "ashes", which include a lot of bones and bits, are laid out on the ground in the form of a person and then "dressed" with favoured clothes, with money in the pockets, incense on all corners. Monks chant over them and then the deceased's friends take the clothes and the money and gold fillings or whatever they can find. It's far more macabre than that though and lasts a long time. The bones are later taken home and the spirit is chased on its way by fire crackers and hoisting of a totem image on a long pole so the wind helps its departure.. so the spirit doesn't stay around the home and haunt the family. Buddhism mixed with ancient animism.

[angelbat]

This is the most interesting topic I've seen on here in a while. Thanks to those of you who have posted! I hope more of you will post about the various customs and beliefs.

[DrTuner]

In the case of my wife's grandma, a couple of bone fragments were put to a ceremonial pot thingy to be placed in a shrine later. I reckon the rest was shoveled to a pile somewhere on temple grounds.

[Torrens54]

Thanks for that info.

Very interesting and something many of we expats have to give some thought to and make decisions about.

[crocken]

After my wife was cremated I went back the next morning for a dawn ceremony and I had to pick her bones out of the ashes and then wash them in holy water then place in a basket for another 2 days in the Temple to dry then another ceremony to place them in a large glass jar before placing in the temple wall.

It is a very final act and you have closure and you know the person is dead and gone.....not like in the west when you see a coffin slide thru a door.

Edited December 22, 2013 by crocken

[asdecas]

It is depended on the decadent and family's wishes. For example, when my grandma passed away, children decided to take her ash to the Moon river where she lived close by and sprinkled the majority of it in the river, and the rest of it her children took it and kept it in their home. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

"The decadent"? Not all the deceased are decadent, some have led blameless lives, even in Pattaya, so they tell me.

[Somsrisonphimai]

It is depended on the decadent and family's wishes. For example, when my grandma passed away, children decided to take her ash to the Moon river where she lived close by and sprinkled the majority of it in the river, and the rest of it her children took it and kept it in their home. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

"The decadent"? Not all the deceased are decadent, some have led blameless lives, even in Pattaya, so they tell me.

My English is not that good. I meant the people who died.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Chao Lao Beach]

So it is "ok" to break them up, leave some temple and take some "home".

It is likely we will end up abroad to give the kids a good education, I would like to take something for a kind of memorial there as well.

In the mean time, would they have to "live" in a ghost house to avoid his ghost form scaring his sister ?

I don't want to make problems !

Although it is at first thought a bit essentric, I love the diamond idea above.

[James2020]

When my MIL died, the next day the relatives returned to the crematorium to take what ashes and bone fragments they wanted, and each placed them in a small urn that they brought. There apparently are a number of kilos of remains - I'm not sure what happens to the rest. After several years my wife will spread what she saved into the sea, as she did with her father's and brother's remains. She put them in a small gold colored dish, placed flowers on top, and then we went out in a boat, and she gently let them slide into the sea. I could see the bones and ash sink into the water, but the flowers floated on top. Quite a nice effect, but she could't explain any significance of it...

[IMA_FARANG]

In my Thai wife's case her two parents had specified different methods of disposing of their ashes.

Her Mother's ashes were placed in a small urn, and my wife keeps them in the Buddhist alter in our house.

She lights incense and place it before the alter every day in memory of Mother.

As mentioned by another poster,

Her father requested that his ashes be taken down the river to the sea and were scattered there.

There are boats in Bangkok who make that trip daily..... My wife's family made that trip and scattered his ashes with some flowers also about a month after his cremation.

Also as another poster said.

He had 3 wives and several children (mostly girls) by his 3 wives ..... so I guess that was how he avoided arguments about who would keep the ashes.

Once the cremation is over the final disposition is up to the family .... it's their choice.

Apparently there are different customs and "proper methods" to follow depending on the area of Thailand lived in.

Often the urn with the ashes is kept for a period in the Wat temporarily for a specified period of days before it is finally disposed of with another ceremony and chanting also.

As I understand, there are certain "auspicious days" to scatter the ashes, and this is decided by a senior monk and suggested to the family.

At least that is what I have learned form my experiences .... my wife is now 64 years old.... and her relatives about the same age or older..... so the family has gone through a number of funerals in the last 2 years.

[brianlg]

My new Thai wife's family is from Nakhon Sawan. Her parents are both deceased now many years BUT just before SONGKRAN this year her sister [who lives just next door] came to collect PAPA ???

I thought this very strange as he had been deceased a long time ???

But no ... my wife went into the house and came back with PAPA in a nice brass funeral URN !!! Her sister then went next door and returned with a similar URN [from her house] with MAMA inside ... and they were then taken to the temple on the auspicious day.

Khop Khun Krup ... Kuhn Brian AUSTRALIA ...

[camerata]

In Thailand, as in other countries, you can specify in your Will what you want regarding the disposal of your remains. I suspect very few Thais do that, though, as the family will take care of it.

[SeaVisionBurma]

4 nonsense responses have been removed.

Stick to giving useful, appropriate, and relevant replies or expect a holiday.

[fabianfred]

It is depended on the decadent and family's wishes. For example, when my grandma passed away, children decided to take her ash to the Moon river where she lived close by and sprinkled the majority of it in the river, and the rest of it her children took it and kept it in their home. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

"The decadent"? Not all the deceased are decadent, some have led blameless lives, even in Pattaya, so they tell me.

I think he meant descendants ...