How much information do you divulge to your gf / wife re your financial situation back home

[mr ding dong]

My ex thai wife had a uni degree a good job and family.I had invested 7 million baht in land and building before i met her.

after 5 years of marriage and another 11 million baht in building on my land i closed my company and put my assets in our

married name as she is a thai national life would be easy.the day this happened i became invisible to my wife and her family after

5 years of eating and sleeping under my roof they no longer recognized me then the police turned up and took me for questioning over

a large drug deal they said if i was on the island {samui}in 24 hours i would not see freedom for long time.8 hours later i arrived home

to find 3 thai men in my empty house all with pistols i was told by the new owner to leave his land or he will shoot me.my wife and inlaws were gone

even my dog.I sent a long email to the ex and she replied {_UCK OF YOU WERE JUST A PIECE OF SHIT THAT PASSED MY LIFE}

Never trust or tell a thai what you have and never ever try to find love trust or honesty in Thailand it does not exist their every one around

you is corrupt and after your money at all costs you are a small insect with a million birds circling 10cm over your head keep your

guard up at all times and expect the unexpected GOOD LUCK.

[johninbkk]

It's not the wife you have to be concerned about, it's the relatives. SURE.....

My wife insist we keep our financial situation to ourselves.

She says; don’t let on to the family members what we own and how much we spend on a monthly basis. …

[anthobkk]

My girfriend knows how much I get per month, also knows how much I have on my bank account, we are both working here, we are not rich but more than enough to live in a nice condo, go out to drink or go on vacations.

I will never give her money except if she is really in trouble and I know that she will always give it back to me if I ask for it.

So I think if your girfriend is nice and doesn't mind to pay the bill for diner and anything else then you don't need to worry about that except maybe if you marry her you will have to give a huge amount to her familly if since she's educated and come from middle-upper class.

Personnaly, I think this is a waste of money so I don't plan to marry my girfriend and we are happy like that

[CharlieH]

The best advice I ever read on this subject was ... " Never, ever, divulge or spend more than you are prepared to walk away from".

That advice has never let me down.

[NoshowJones]

If you are going to marry her, and you want trust in your marriage ( you will need trust if you want your marriage to succeed) then yes, you tell her about your financial situation back home, there should be no secrets between you, on the other hand, anything that happened in your life before you met her, is none of her business, and vice versa.

[mr ding dong]

If you can't trust your future wife, then you should be contemplating marriage

Most of us who were married the first time have learnt all about misplaced trust.

You can't trust anyone with your money ever. Unless you are happy to lose it.

I don't trust my wife.

I shouldn't have trusted my last wife.

Trust is for suckers.

(trust me on this one)

Outstanding advice very very very TRUE

[johninbkk]

My girfriend knows how much I get per month, also knows how much I have on my bank account, we are both working here, we are not rich but more than enough to live in a nice condo, go out to drink or go on vacations.

I will never give her money except if she is really in trouble and I know that she will always give it back to me if I ask for it.

So I think if your girfriend is nice and doesn't mind to pay the bill for diner and anything else then you don't need to worry about that except maybe if you marry her you will have to give a huge amount to her familly if since she's educated and come from middle-upper class.

Personnaly, I think this is a waste of money so I don't plan to marry my girfriend and we are happy like that

The difference here is "Girlfriend and Wife"

Big, Big difference... as a girlfriend whether living together or not she has no call on you, UNTIL, you are officially married, under Thai law.

[thailiketoo]

I'm an old guy. My wife is 30 years younger. Before I had told her about my financial assets, I was laying in the hospital emergency room (I speak Thai). The doctor was telling my wife the treatment he was suggesting might cost a half a million baht. She said no problem, I'll be responsible for the debt and signed the appropriate documents.

My mind is fine now and I don't forget things but who knows what may happen in the future. How would my wife take care of me if I was not capable of getting money out the bank myself?

[Costas2008]

As I have no money back home........neither in Thailand.......I have nothing to hide from her.

And promise you .....I don't intend to commit suicide.

[anthobkk]

My girfriend knows how much I get per month, also knows how much I have on my bank account, we are both working here, we are not rich but more than enough to live in a nice condo, go out to drink or go on vacations.

I will never give her money except if she is really in trouble and I know that she will always give it back to me if I ask for it.

So I think if your girfriend is nice and doesn't mind to pay the bill for diner and anything else then you don't need to worry about that except maybe if you marry her you will have to give a huge amount to her familly if since she's educated and come from middle-upper class.

Personnaly, I think this is a waste of money so I don't plan to marry my girfriend and we are happy like that

The difference here is "Girlfriend and Wife"

Big, Big difference... as a girlfriend whether living together or not she has no call on you, UNTIL, you are officially married, under Thai law.

What is the difference ? Wife or not, if I don't want to spend more than usual or give all my money to her familly then I think the decision belongs to me, or maybe i'm wrong ?

How many thai or farangs get married and then don't care about their wife and just spend their moneey on beers ?

I don't think under thai law they say "you must support your familly whatever they ask you for it", support your familly ok, give everything you have and share everything...No.

[thailiketoo]

My girfriend knows how much I get per month, also knows how much I have on my bank account, we are both working here, we are not rich but more than enough to live in a nice condo, go out to drink or go on vacations.

I will never give her money except if she is really in trouble and I know that she will always give it back to me if I ask for it.

So I think if your girfriend is nice and doesn't mind to pay the bill for diner and anything else then you don't need to worry about that except maybe if you marry her you will have to give a huge amount to her familly if since she's educated and come from middle-upper class.

Personnaly, I think this is a waste of money so I don't plan to marry my girfriend and we are happy like that

The difference here is "Girlfriend and Wife"

Big, Big difference... as a girlfriend whether living together or not she has no call on you, UNTIL, you are officially married, under Thai law.

What is the difference ? Wife or not, if I don't want to spend more than usual or give all my money to her familly then I think the decision belongs to me, or maybe i'm wrong ?

How many thai or farangs get married and then don't care about their wife and just spend their moneey on beers ?

I don't think under thai law they say "you must support your familly whatever they ask you for it", support your familly ok, give everything you have and share everything...No.

There are some very good reasons for not getting married when looking at the tax laws in some other countries. Sticking to the village ceremony might make sense for many folks.

[maderaroja]

After you are married for a few years, you can tell her that you have a savings account back home, but never tell her any details.

[M12MKD]

Nothing to very little. She has been upfront about a lot. Telling me about her income which is around £600 a month. I've said to her that if we want a future together we will both have to save.

she's never asked for my wage nor how much money I have.

she often pays for gifts and is paying for my stay whilst in Thailand as she wants to.

still I will keep my cards close to my chest as once burnt you don't forget. For the record uk women are just as bad and two long term partners have fleeced money out of me.......Both after a very long time.

So my advice would be always be wary and don't totally follow the heart.

[mca]

Never trust or tell a thai what you have and never ever try to find love trust or honesty in Thailand it does not exist their every one around

you is corrupt.

No. Your wife and family were bent and i bet the warning signs were there in bright pink neon to everybody but you.

Sorry to be harsh but you're insulting my wife, daughter, family and friends who are the salt of the earth. It gets tedious reading the same old " all thais are...." crap.

[tezzainoz]

sorry to tell you my friend

Every Thai lady knows Farland have a money tree in the back garden

After 6 years my Thai wife is still looking for it

[lucjoker]

most of us keep quiet or lie about our financial situation,

if our GF knew......she would leave us !!! ha ha ha !!!!

I know a farang,who maried his GFand took her to the UK ,he was 60 she 25,

in the UK he still lived whit his parents ,had no work,no money.

The GF had to find a job !

Many ladies dont realise that most farang in the bars ,have to work a whole year

to spend 3 weeks acting like millionaires .

[M12MKD]

Also I should add perception is a two way street. Yes the horror stories are of Thai women cheating stupid uk men. Yes this does happen but us UK men also have a reputation.

My other halfs parents are not happy about her dating a uk guy. Her mother has told her that uk guy's only want sex and will cheat with every other woman. This added to the fact that a few of her thai friends (that I've met) with British boyfriends (even the ones with Thai parentage) have all cheated and/or have mistresses in Thailand.

So again yes be wary of the scam, but be mindful if she's a genuine lass she probably has concerns about you.

[senor123]

Ha ha ha,

Just make sure you are worth more alive than dead. That's how it works for me. All will be sweet.

[Bantex]

Earlier this year I married my Thai GF of 7 years & she still does not know my financial worth & will never know the full details. It's not that I don't trust her (which I do) but I strongly feel that no one should know these details in full. By all means let her know enough, so she's sure you can look after her.

[smotherb]

tested with money?

how? leave 100 b on the table ?

thai women do the long con scam

they dont want your change, they want the big bucks

And from which bar do all your Thai women come?

[thailandbeachisland]

All these guys who lost all after divorce also were thinking that love is more important...

Of course most Thai women are honest, but as everywhere in the world ONLY UNTIL EVERYTHING IS FINE TOGETHER...

[smotherb]

If you can't trust your future wife, then you should be contemplating marriage

Most of us who were married the first time have learnt all about misplaced trust.

You can't trust anyone with your money ever. Unless you are happy to lose it.

I don't trust my wife.

I shouldn't have trusted my last wife.

Trust is for suckers.

(trust me on this one)

Let's see now, "Trust is for suckers.(trust me on this one)" Are you asking all of us to be suckers?

[denby45]

For me, my wife has no idea, she is happy I provide whatever is needed for us, she never asks what I have, she never takes things for granted, she always asks "can we get" , " is it ok if" etc, but never has she actually asked what I have. She considers that my business.

The only way she would know is in my will, after I am gone. Need to know, and she doesnt.

This post wins it for me. The first and only time she needs to know is when you are brown bread. You can't feel guilty about not telling her because she is in your (secret) will. Note the "secret" bit, that is very important.

Den

[elliottm]

Educated wife (albeit from farm labouring stock), I match her Bkk monthly salary for our outgoings (new car, apartment, restaurants etc).

She knows how many millions I have at home (and that this is sin suan tua) and have stepped aside from sharing in bailing out family members (paying off ex-wife, car deposit etc - albeit a bone of contention, what was sinsod for?).

The money is for our futures and must last 40 years.

I have, however, just stumped up for stocking a shoe shop at a rental shop-house near her home town but I consider that a reasonable investment (up to 100% GP) considering current savings environment and her SLE (lupus - autoimmune syndrome) results have been unsatisfactory for a year now at her current (busy) office job.

Her parents, whilst having nothing, are perfectly supported by an industrious family and have never asked for anything (I suggested the sinsod, matching her elder sister).

If you trust the lady and her family, I have never had a problem saying my savings in home country. Each case is individual. Go with your gut instincts, your money prior to marriage is untouchable - your money after, as they say on here, pay what you are prepared to leave behind.

But it's not necessarily the case that the family will become a money grabbing machine when there's been no hint of it so far - sounds like you have a good'un, make the most of it .

[hotrod4098]

i did not tell my ex wife any thing...how ever she got talking to another man from the uk ,who she new before..he then asked her for a copy of my passport..which the ex had...he then did a check on the uk land registry...so this showed my properties...

with this knowledge,she was aware of what i owned...then the big questions came...money money money...

it went further than this...he then started hacking my computor etc...

the latest trick was..he set up a land scam..to buy land that did not exist...the pair of them where not clever enough to pull it off

600000 thb..was the land deal...

what happened was...she lost 1.5 million...as she had to pay the 600000 to save face in the village..then she had 48 months on the car to pay at 12000 a month..and a few more things...

so be careful keep what you have a secret....if she wants to no any thing some falangs will help her stitch you up..

[gazmat]

I'm incredibly open with my Missus. "I'm skint", I say. Then she tops up my account. She's good like that.

[mixxer]

TELL THEM NOTHING !!!!!! With all the best intentions in the world sometimes they just cannot help themselves . YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FARANG . PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES .

[elliottm]

I'm readfing through the above responses and how Thai girls can never be trusted and how they will work the long scam (and happily some nicer comments regarding trust) But why are Thai women being singled out over this. They are no different from Western women. I would hazard a guess that 60 or 70% of the people writing here on TV are here because of a failed marriage ending in divorce. How many of those people lost the lot (including the kids) to the ex-wife? I did. House, cars etc - and she was the one cheating on me, yet I still lost everything. So chaps, stop with the "Thai ladies" bit.. The problem is universal.

But in answer to the OP's question my response would be, what's it got to do with her? Keep some by for a rainy day mate.

Well said Alwyn . I haven't trawled through the replies, I can guess their general tenure - however, in Thai civil law your assets before marriage are protected (even without a prenup) and just the respective share of any children's maintenance/education/shared assets is required, so exposure should be duly limited. If the concern is about lavishing money out on property & houses which they can never own, then more fool them.

[avander]

Keep your financials to yourself for 6-12 months. I told my now wife I did not have a lot of money up front and kept it that way. It is factual but I still have my parachute. After 3 years she now knows about that but it doesn't really seem to matter and I reckon that's how it should be. This is my 2nd time married so once bitten.... but, so far so good.

[zeichen]

Hate to break it to you OP, Upper class women in Thailand do not date/marry western men 10+ years older than them. It just isn't done. You might have the rare one but I doubt it. Second of all, if she was so independant, then why are you worried about money. Perhaps you are some multi millionaire, but if you are just a middle class person from your own country, then why the big deal?

I was pretty lucky, my wife and I were in our late 20's when we met. Neither of us had much but both had good careers and built a future together. Everything I own is hers and everything that she has is mine. Her parents gave us a house for our wedding gift.

I personally, agree with others, if you don't have trust about money, then why are you even thinking about marriage. It won't work if you don't trust her or if she isn't trust worthy.

I am not sure what people think upper class is, but trust me if they were truly upper class, you wouldn't have met them and she would have real problems with them if she married you.

My guess is she is first generation middle class with an education. If her parents have university degrees or studied abroad, then you will be better off.

Sounds to me that you are focussed too much on the negative allegories that you here and not giving her the respect she deserves if she is going to be a life long partner.