How much information do you divulge to your gf / wife re your financial situation back home

[augustwest]

My first g/f when I was 22 I ended the relationship but we stayed close friends or so I thought. Ten years later she broke her arm and being a waitress could not work. I loaned her $15000 and she would pay me back $10 every few months even tho she leased a new Audi every two years. After ten years I searched her out and when I tried to get an explanation she drove away and went to Police dept and said I was bothering her. Police called me and I ignored it. Then a local cop came by and said I should contact them. Second girl friend of 3years reached out to me after 20 years and wanted to visit. Said she was poor so I payed for ticket. Then her husband wanted to come I then bought ticket for him also with the promise he would pay upon arrival.arriving he never offered a dime yet I was congenial and they lived in my house for two weeks. When we first broke up I sent her Mother $3000 .mother never told her about cash and even had the gall to lend her daughter $500 to buy a car. I also mailed her a guitar that she left to her mother yet never received it. When pressured her to pay for her husbands ticket, they are both on disability. She is now blind and became blind because of diabetes. Never took care of herself. Her husband gets disability from armed forces yet he can work as well as you and I together they have 5 cars a new Toyota Tundra top of the line $40000 pay no taxes on house and house is paid off did I mention they receive over $6000 in benefits. After 5years I asked for her to pay the $400 for husbands ticket and she hung up on me. Wife of 17 years. I took her on vacations every year as she was a teacher. We went around the world mostly Asia , Thailand Sri Lanka Malaysia and Bali. We were also in Greece was going to Turkey but we arrived when Hussein attacked Kuwait. I let her mother borrow some expensive oil paintings as we rented our $500000 house which I paid for. When daughter and I split Mother wouldn't return paintings. I also didn't change locks and every day I would come home from work and more stuff was missing. Last g/f I lived with for 8 years and paid all bills except mortgage. Because of that I talked her into a 10 year mortgage. She was $72000 in debt and sold house last year for $100000. After 8 years everything I owned was there including 200 silver dollars which was given to my Mother from her Uncle. I inherited them. Also things I had owned previous to starting relationship. Did I mention that we went on 6 vacations cost $5000 each and she never brought a dime. I wanted my things back and was told to buy new. I broke my arm and asked for help ,she was only person I knew and threatened to call police.She left me for a small wimpy guy who owns huge house he inhertited when his wife passed. She got house from divorce. So I ask did I make all poor decisions? I repeat all women are money hungry bitches. Experience taught me an now at 65 I depend on Soc. Sec. To live

[augustwest]

That was $6000 a month and wife was on every Island in the Caribbean and Mexico a dozen times to go scuba diving

[suthansman]

None whatsoever.

I do not ask how much she makes either.

As long as we get by, she does not ask how much I have. She does occasionally ask if we can afford X, Y or Z. But they are relatively small requests.

[davidst01]

My first g/f when I was 22 I ended the relationship but we stayed close friends or so I thought. Ten years later she broke her arm and being a waitress could not work. I loaned her $15000 and she would pay me back $10 every few months even tho she leased a new Audi every two years. After ten years I searched her out and when I tried to get an explanation she drove away and went to Police dept and said I was bothering her. Police called me and I ignored it. Then a local cop came by and said I should contact them. Second girl friend of 3years reached out to me after 20 years and wanted to visit. Said she was poor so I payed for ticket. Then her husband wanted to come I then bought ticket for him also with the promise he would pay upon arrival.arriving he never offered a dime yet I was congenial and they lived in my house for two weeks. When we first broke up I sent her Mother $3000 .mother never told her about cash and even had the gall to lend her daughter $500 to buy a car. I also mailed her a guitar that she left to her mother yet never received it. When pressured her to pay for her husbands ticket, they are both on disability. She is now blind and became blind because of diabetes. Never took care of herself. Her husband gets disability from armed forces yet he can work as well as you and I together they have 5 cars a new Toyota Tundra top of the line $40000 pay no taxes on house and house is paid off did I mention they receive over $6000 in benefits. After 5years I asked for her to pay the $400 for husbands ticket and she hung up on me. Wife of 17 years. I took her on vacations every year as she was a teacher. We went around the world mostly Asia , Thailand Sri Lanka Malaysia and Bali. We were also in Greece was going to Turkey but we arrived when Hussein attacked Kuwait. I let her mother borrow some expensive oil paintings as we rented our $500000 house which I paid for. When daughter and I split Mother wouldn't return paintings. I also didn't change locks and every day I would come home from work and more stuff was missing. Last g/f I lived with for 8 years and paid all bills except mortgage. Because of that I talked her into a 10 year mortgage. She was $72000 in debt and sold house last year for $100000. After 8 years everything I owned was there including 200 silver dollars which was given to my Mother from her Uncle. I inherited them. Also things I had owned previous to starting relationship. Did I mention that we went on 6 vacations cost $5000 each and she never brought a dime. I wanted my things back and was told to buy new. I broke my arm and asked for help ,she was only person I knew and threatened to call police.She left me for a small wimpy guy who owns huge house he inhertited when his wife passed. She got house from divorce. So I ask did I make all poor decisions? I repeat all women are money hungry bitches. Experience taught me an now at 65 I depend on Soc. Sec. To live

no offence mate but you sound a bit wet behind the old ears to be taken for a ride so many times...

[wolfmanjack]

when i talk with a girl married to a foreigner. I inform her that back home every farang do own land worth million bahts, that he are entitled from our birth to

million baht insurance life, that we all have castle and luxury but but but we keep it secret even to our wife in Thailand

So you are the one my wife has been talking to!

She gave me a bunch of shit the other day about being too stupid to get free money for my kids being US citizens and that i need to go see a lawyer.

[FiftyTwo]

You all (well many of you) seem to have a Neanderthal concept of home economics, luckily for women those who make the laws know differently, Thus the concept of community property.

Even if you work and your wife stays at home, it does not mean that her work at home does not have value.

you are a team,

her staying at home and running your household enables you to go to work.

I don't work at all. She doesn't run the household (and you accuse me of Neanderthal home economics).

Edited December 31, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[Showbags]

As the old saying goes....

'a hungry wife, a happy life.'

[mrowe1973]

Prenuptial regardless!!!

[advancebooking]

There has been a lot of sensible comments on this thread and my 2 cents worth is that if you meet a women who had criminal intent it could cos you your life if you reveal too much about your cashed up life back home.

I was back home earlier this year and was out with a group of people. A 'friend of a friend' told me about her uncles (her mothers brother) death in Thaiand. This guy apparently met the thai girl of his dreams and he took her to oz a couple of times to meet the extended family etc. These people are upper class and very affluent. Just after being married they flew back to bkk and he died on the tarmac (at the airport). He had never had any medical problem. The family in oz did not ask for an autopsy. My friend told me the police put down the cause of death to be pneumonia.

My friends mother are also extremely well off and decided that because he was in love with this girl that they decided to give the entire estate worth 2 million $ to the thai wife.

What made my skin crawl was when my friend told me that they received a call 1.5 yrs later from the thai women asking for more money. She said that she had to give a lot of the money to her relatives etc.

I told my friend that they were daft to not insist on an autopsy. If only she new of the scams in the LOS....

[Thongkorn]

she knows every thing all my pin numbers for my Bank accounts and Isas, and cash isas, because I trust her, No point in being married if you do not or cannot trust your wife. maybe you should look at where, and how you met your wife, and how long did you know her. why bother if no trust between you. as for prenuptial s in the UK , not worth the paper they are written on , legally they are entitled to 50% of every thing.

[Soutpeel]

To answer the question, I have my Thai financial dealings and I have my offshore financial dealings and the two will never meet, with the bulk of the cash held in my offshore account, does my wife have any knowledge or direct access to the offshore portion ?

Not on your life, the only other people who would have access are my parents or my brother on my demise.

And before all the judgemental start with the trust thing etc etc, been there seen that and got the T-shirt and my "darling" ex wife who wasn't Thai incidently, should have been the one person I could trust having known each other since we were kids, the families where friends etc, but still I managed to get myself screwed over on the financial front for being too honest with my financial dealings

My advice trust no one except possibly only your direct blood relatives in financial matters and even then be careful, look after your interests at all time's

[FiftyTwo]

she knows every thing all my pin numbers for my Bank accounts and Isas, and cash isas, because I trust her, No point in being married if you do not or cannot trust your wife. maybe you should look at where, and how you met your wife, and how long did you know her. why bother if no trust between you. as for prenuptial s in the UK , not worth the paper they are written on , legally they are entitled to 50% of every thing.

In the UK, and if you have children, they are entitled to 100% of everything + 20% of all you earn until the children are age 19.

[Soutpeel]

she knows every thing all my pin numbers for my Bank accounts and Isas, and cash isas, because I trust her, No point in being married if you do not or cannot trust your wife. maybe you should look at where, and how you met your wife, and how long did you know her. why bother if no trust between you. as for prenuptial s in the UK , not worth the paper they are written on , legally they are entitled to 50% of every thing.

But even with the above bring said, you do have a "slush fund" for yourself hidden away ? Yes ?....

Further please don't infer how/where you met your wife has anything to do with this it hasn't....would seem to me your trying to say if you don't trust your wife in the thai context you have married a bar girl ?.....juvenile dig dear boy me thinks

People change so what you think is a trusting relationship one day can go down the toilet over night...and please don't say she is different

If you get the sh#t done to you, do you have any plan "b" ?

[Bernard Flint]

If your wife to be is from a family with money,then you will have to pay bigger sinsod. Hope you have plenty of money

[thailiketoo]

If your wife to be is from a family with money,then you will have to pay bigger sinsod. Hope you have plenty of money

I thought big money families didn't bother with sinsod? Hasn't it been a while since TV had a good sinsod thread?

Like maybe, "My Gf's family didn't ask for sinsod does that mean they don't like me?"

Edited January 1, 2014 by thailiketoo

[rayongchelsea]

she knows every thing all my pin numbers for my Bank accounts and Isas, and cash isas, because I trust her, No point in being married if you do not or cannot trust your wife. maybe you should look at where, and how you met your wife, and how long did you know her. why bother if no trust between you. as for prenuptial s in the UK , not worth the paper they are written on , legally they are entitled to 50% of every thing.

But even with the above bring said, you do have a "slush fund" for yourself hidden away ? Yes ?....

Further please don't infer how/where you met your wife has anything to do with this it hasn't....would seem to me your trying to say if you don't trust your wife in the thai context you have married a bar girl ?.....juvenile dig dear boy me thinks

People change so what you think is a trusting relationship one day can go down the toilet over night...and please don't say she is different

If you get the sh#t done to you, do you have any plan "b" ?

This is just common financial planning "hope for the best but plan for the worst scenario".

Especially Since most farangs marry into poor families, No financial acumen, no planning etc..and the wife doesn't work anyway..so doesn't being much to the table financially.

I trust the wife..is abit like saying mine is better than yours.

Nothing to do with trust it's having a plan B.

Although sometimes I think it farangs arrogance ...I know about the shit that can happen in Thai land but I have sussed it out..I know better.

You don't live in your own country anymore..protect yourself..most probably don't even have a will or know the rules of intestate..

As one op said earlier..make sure she is cover by a will, which clearly states where all your assets are..

Lunacy to give PIN numbers away..

[thailiketoo]

This is just common financial planning "hope for the best but plan for the worst scenario".

Especially Since most farangs marry into poor families, No financial acumen, no planning etc..and the wife doesn't work anyway..so doesn't being much to the table financially.

I trust the wife..is abit like saying mine is better than yours.

Nothing to do with trust it's having a plan B.

Although sometimes I think it farangs arrogance ...I know about the shit that can happen in Thai land but I have sussed it out..I know better.

You don't live in your own country anymore..protect yourself..most probably don't even have a will or know the rules of intestate..

As one op said earlier..make sure she is cover by a will, which clearly states where all your assets are..

Lunacy to give PIN numbers away..

Lunacy is to enter into a contract with less than 50% chance of success. Vegas has better odds. PIN number? Seems like a small risk when considering marriage, children and the rest of your life. Kids are people after all.

[Soutpeel]

she knows every thing all my pin numbers for my Bank accounts and Isas, and cash isas, because I trust her, No point in being married if you do not or cannot trust your wife. maybe you should look at where, and how you met your wife, and how long did you know her. why bother if no trust between you. as for prenuptial s in the UK , not worth the paper they are written on , legally they are entitled to 50% of every thing.

But even with the above bring said, you do have a "slush fund" for yourself hidden away ? Yes ?....

Further please don't infer how/where you met your wife has anything to do with this it hasn't....would seem to me your trying to say if you don't trust your wife in the thai context you have married a bar girl ?.....juvenile dig dear boy me thinks

People change so what you think is a trusting relationship one day can go down the toilet over night...and please don't say she is different

If you get the sh#t done to you, do you have any plan "b" ?

This is just common financial planning "hope for the best but plan for the worst scenario".

Especially Since most farangs marry into poor families, No financial acumen, no planning etc..and the wife doesn't work anyway..so doesn't being much to the table financially.

I trust the wife..is abit like saying mine is better than yours.

Nothing to do with trust it's having a plan B.

Although sometimes I think it farangs arrogance ...I know about the shit that can happen in Thai land but I have sussed it out..I know better.

You don't live in your own country anymore..protect yourself..most probably don't even have a will or know the rules of intestate..

As one op said earlier..make sure she is cover by a will, which clearly states where all your assets are..

Lunacy to give PIN numbers away..

When you mention financial acumen, no planning who are you referring to ? the poor thai family or the farang?

One suspects in this case its the poor thai family is showing great business acumen and planning while the farang is the one planning poorly LOL

[FiftyTwo]

This is just common financial planning "hope for the best but plan for the worst scenario".

Especially Since most farangs marry into poor families, No financial acumen, no planning etc..and the wife doesn't work anyway..so doesn't being much to the table financially.

I trust the wife..is abit like saying mine is better than yours.

Nothing to do with trust it's having a plan B.

Although sometimes I think it farangs arrogance ...I know about the shit that can happen in Thai land but I have sussed it out..I know better.

You don't live in your own country anymore..protect yourself..most probably don't even have a will or know the rules of intestate..

As one op said earlier..make sure she is cover by a will, which clearly states where all your assets are..

Lunacy to give PIN numbers away..

Lunacy is to enter into a contract with less than 50% chance of success. Vegas has better odds. PIN number? Seems like a small risk when considering marriage, children and the rest of your life. Kids are people after all.

Now you're being silly,

Marriage hasn't been a "rest of life" contract for the last 60 years.

You are lucky if it lasts 10 years these days.

[rayongchelsea]

If you disclose your PIN number to anyone else and that account is accessed, you have no protection.They will simply ask you does the wife know? We all know what the reaction to that will be.

Give her her own account ATM and own pin code.

Be realistic most Thais marry farangs for security..more so than in other countries because of the age differences and social economic backgrounds..what if that security feels under threat..credit cards, PIN numbers, bank account access....farang is abroad..

I suspect that most farangs disclose everything to show off....

I get the trust deal..it's a good thing..but be practical.Protect yourself..

[thailiketoo]

This is just common financial planning "hope for the best but plan for the worst scenario".

Especially Since most farangs marry into poor families, No financial acumen, no planning etc..and the wife doesn't work anyway..so doesn't being much to the table financially.

I trust the wife..is abit like saying mine is better than yours.

Nothing to do with trust it's having a plan B.

Although sometimes I think it farangs arrogance ...I know about the shit that can happen in Thai land but I have sussed it out..I know better.

You don't live in your own country anymore..protect yourself..most probably don't even have a will or know the rules of intestate..

As one op said earlier..make sure she is cover by a will, which clearly states where all your assets are..

Lunacy to give PIN numbers away..

Lunacy is to enter into a contract with less than 50% chance of success. Vegas has better odds. PIN number? Seems like a small risk when considering marriage, children and the rest of your life. Kids are people after all.

Now you're being silly,

Marriage hasn't been a "rest of life" contract for the last 60 years.

You are lucky if it lasts 10 years these days.

How long do children last these days? I'm being silly?