Thai Friend Wants Me to Become an In-Law.... in 8 Years.

[pjthefey]

Yeeeer.......marry her. Put all your money in her bank account, give her kids and oh...don't forget to buy a house and car in her name.

You knew the answer to your question before you posted the opening piece. Meet the family in any case. They might be a genuinely nice bunch.

Goodluck.

Yeah.... That's not going to happen (money in her account, buying a house and car in her name, etc ). I'm more of a prenup kind of guy, much less the type of person who would sign away shared luxury items in a careless marriage.

As for marriage, she says she doesn't even want a boyfriend much less a husband.

She says ha ha ha......thai girls say a lot of things. You've got a lot to learn.

Btw does she'd know you're "more of a prenup kind of guy". ?? She'll lose interest once she finds out. If she knows what it means!!

Stay in South Korea if I were you. You're a ticking time bomb.

I trust her. She's been brutally honest about things that quite frankly she didn't have to be honest about, and would send most guys running the opposite direction. That is another reason we are friends. When I'm in Thailand my BS detector goes off a lot when interacting with some of the women. I hate it when I feel like people are just telling me what they think I want to hear. I never had that with my friend. More so than any other girl I've met in Thailand, she cuts through the bs and tells me the what's going on.

The one exception to this rule is when she is teasing me, in which case she says whatever just to get a reaction in the moment. This is one one case where I can't tell if I am dealing with seriousness or teasing.

[nithisa78]

Your friend's offer has nothing to do with romance or culture but everything to do about money and financial security, IMHO.

Security. Isn't that what we're all comfortable with. There is no way, with the provided information here....could tell you more than do what your heart tells you is best.

My grown son got such an offer (better) while recently passing through Phillipines. From Mother of 18 yoa age young woman. It is reported the Phillipine people like USA people, more than any other Country in world. I am happily married to much younger woman. It wasn't arranged. We were introduced, became friends. She didn't take any money from me. She continued her job. Will be married five years next month. Do I help her family. Yes. Why not. We are supposed to help each other. Isn't that what humans do. Look in your heart. You will find the answer. That is where the river of life flows (love.) Good luck. God speed. Relax, Sir.

[harber8]

D

Edited January 4, 2014 by harber8

[harber8]

Yeeeer.......marry her. Put all your money in her bank account, give her kids and oh...don't forget to buy a house and car in her name.

You knew the answer to your question before you posted the opening piece. Meet the family in any case. They might be a genuinely nice bunch.

Goodluck.

Yeah.... That's not going to happen (money in her account, buying a house and car in her name, etc ). I'm more of a prenup kind of guy, much less the type of person who would sign away shared luxury items in a careless marriage.

As for marriage, she says she doesn't even want a boyfriend much less a husband.

She says ha ha ha......thai girls say a lot of things. You've got a lot to learn.

Btw does she'd know you're "more of a prenup kind of guy". ?? She'll lose interest once she finds out. If she knows what it means!!

Stay in South Korea if I were you. You're a ticking time bomb.

I trust her. She's been brutally honest about things that quite frankly she didn't have to be honest about, and would send most guys running the opposite direction. That is another reason we are friends. When I'm in Thailand my BS detector goes off a lot when interacting with some of the women. I hate it when I feel like people are just telling me what they think I want to hear. I never had that with my friend. More so than any other girl I've met in Thailand, she cuts through the bs and tells me the what's going on.

The one exception to this rule is when she is teasing me, in which case she says whatever just to get a reaction in the moment. This is one one case where I can't tell if I am dealing with seriousness or teasing.

Well you seem sensible and aware of what's going on so follow you instincts. You've got 8 years so plenty of time!!

I would personally go for someone a little more mature who can carry herself and not hang off you. This will make for a better chance of a lasting relationship. I live in Bangkok but married and have a family with a burmese girl. I can't speak for all women obviously but these burmese girls ain't in it for money just a solid honest family and ONE guy. Could be worth a look.

Goodluck

[pjthefey]

Hehe... My friend is 29... 30 in a few days. She's plenty old enough.

[pjthefey]

Well you seem sensible and aware of what's going on so follow you instincts. You've got 8 years so plenty of time!!

I would personally go for someone a little more mature who can carry herself and not hang off you. This will make for a better chance of a lasting relationship. I live in Bangkok but married and have a family with a burmese girl. I can't speak for all women obviously but these burmese girls ain't in it for money just a solid honest family and ONE guy. Could be worth a look.

Goodluck

My recent kind of ex was Burmese... She had a short attention span. She seemed to forget about me as soon as I returned to Korea.

My friend is almost 30 so, there's not really an issue with her being more mature. She just says she doesn't want a boyfriend/husband, but apparently her mom keeps saying "Why you not love him?"

[easybullet3]

Maybe your friend is the one that really likes you and she is testing you or doing something in order to get closer to you.

if you "like" your friend (as more than a friend)... with possibility for girlfriend status, then maybe now is the time to tell her that you are not interested in a 9 year old girl and that you actually like your friend. (not the kid).

if she really is serious about you and the young kid, then it could mean a few things:

(1) they are really serious and see you as a nice savior for the kid.

(2) maybe your friend is actually the real mother of the kid and wants a good future for her daughter.

(3) maybe she sees you as a potential answer to her financial problems. by you marrying the kid, then maybe they expect a big dowry and more.

either way, yes its very strange.

there is a possibility that she is just having a laugh with you! this is quite likely.

I would never advice to marry someone 20 to 30 years younger than yourself unless you wanna be cheated on. imagine when you are 60 and she is 30 !!! she is going to find a few similar aged guys that she can enjoy more than a 60 year old.

I know that 20 to 30 years old gaps are common in Thailand, but then you should examine the small-print and see the cheating that probably goes on behind the husbands back.

anyway, the whole thing is strange.

I reckon she is joking with you... or testing you for what you will say,

[pjthefey]

Maybe your friend is the one that really likes you and she is testing you or doing something in order to get closer to you.

if you "like" your friend (as more than a friend)... with possibility for girlfriend status, then maybe now is the time to tell her that you are not interested in a 9 year old girl and that you actually like your friend. (not the kid).

if she really is serious about you and the young kid, then it could mean a few things:

(1) they are really serious and see you as a nice savior for the kid.

(2) maybe your friend is actually the real mother of the kid and wants a good future for her daughter.

(3) maybe she sees you as a potential answer to her financial problems. by you marrying the kid, then maybe they expect a big dowry and more.

either way, yes its very strange.

there is a possibility that she is just having a laugh with you! this is quite likely.

I would never advice to marry someone 20 to 30 years younger than yourself unless you wanna be cheated on. imagine when you are 60 and she is 30 !!! she is going to find a few similar aged guys that she can enjoy more than a 60 year old.

I know that 20 to 30 years old gaps are common in Thailand, but then you should examine the small-print and see the cheating that probably goes on behind the husbands back.

anyway, the whole thing is strange.

I reckon she is joking with you... or testing you for what you will say,

You make some good points. My friend is already a baby-mama. I don't know why she'd confess to one kid and not another. In any case, I do believe she likes me. She just has issues with the whole commitment thing. Even the people around her seem to be able to tell that she's interested in me, based on what I can infer from the conversations she tells me about with her mom and friends. She's been hurt and has a possessive stalkerish ex that she broke up with two years ago who continues to make problems for her to this day. I get why she wouldn't want to open a book on a new relationship. Hell, if I lived in Thailand she might even be worried that he'd try to hurt me.

Edited January 4, 2014 by pjthefey

[easybullet3]

Maybe your friend is the one that really likes you and she is testing you or doing something in order to get closer to you.

if you "like" your friend (as more than a friend)... with possibility for girlfriend status, then maybe now is the time to tell her that you are not interested in a 9 year old girl and that you actually like your friend. (not the kid).

if she really is serious about you and the young kid, then it could mean a few things:

(1) they are really serious and see you as a nice savior for the kid.

(2) maybe your friend is actually the real mother of the kid and wants a good future for her daughter.

(3) maybe she sees you as a potential answer to her financial problems. by you marrying the kid, then maybe they expect a big dowry and more.

either way, yes its very strange.

there is a possibility that she is just having a laugh with you! this is quite likely.

I would never advice to marry someone 20 to 30 years younger than yourself unless you wanna be cheated on. imagine when you are 60 and she is 30 !!! she is going to find a few similar aged guys that she can enjoy more than a 60 year old.

I know that 20 to 30 years old gaps are common in Thailand, but then you should examine the small-print and see the cheating that probably goes on behind the husbands back.

anyway, the whole thing is strange.

I reckon she is joking with you... or testing you for what you will say,

You make some good points. My friend is already a baby-mama. I don't know why she'd confess to one kid and not another. In any case, I do believe she likes me. She just has issues with the whole commitment thing. Even the people around her seem to be able to tell that she's interested in me, based on what I can infer from the conversations she tells me about with her mom and friends. She's been hurt and has a possessive stalkerish ex that she broke up with two years ago who continues to make problems for her to this day. I get why she wouldn't want to open a book on a new relationship. Hell, if I lived in Thailand she might even be worried that he'd try to hurt me.

is her ex Thai ?

if he is, and if she said he is the stalker or possessive type, then be VERY CAREFUL!! you read about jealous thai ex-bf's loosing their cool and doing some deed that ends them up in jail.

you dont want to risk being a victim of this kind of thing.

PS: Where is this girl from? what is her background?

what list of jobs has she had? what level of education? if she does have a list of jobs, you should ask her questions (testing her actual knowledge of said jobs).

if you are convinced that she is educated and sound then it adds a bit of trust to what she is saying.

if you think there are lies behind some of the stuff she claims to have done in her life, then maybe she is just a working-girl (prostitute) and then this "may" bring heaps of baggage to the situation. (the baggage meaning that she has ulterior motives - probably money)

[pjthefey]

Maybe your friend is the one that really likes you and she is testing you or doing something in order to get closer to you.

if you "like" your friend (as more than a friend)... with possibility for girlfriend status, then maybe now is the time to tell her that you are not interested in a 9 year old girl and that you actually like your friend. (not the kid).

if she really is serious about you and the young kid, then it could mean a few things:

(1) they are really serious and see you as a nice savior for the kid.

(2) maybe your friend is actually the real mother of the kid and wants a good future for her daughter.

(3) maybe she sees you as a potential answer to her financial problems. by you marrying the kid, then maybe they expect a big dowry and more.

either way, yes its very strange.

there is a possibility that she is just having a laugh with you! this is quite likely.

I would never advice to marry someone 20 to 30 years younger than yourself unless you wanna be cheated on. imagine when you are 60 and she is 30 !!! she is going to find a few similar aged guys that she can enjoy more than a 60 year old.

is her ex Thai ?

if he is, and if she said he is the stalker or possessive type, then be VERY CAREFUL!! you read about jealous thai ex-bf's loosing their cool and doing some deed that ends them up in jail.

you dont want to risk being a victim of this kind of thing.

PS: Where is this girl from? what is her background?

what list of jobs has she had? what level of education? if she does have a list of jobs, you should ask her questions (testing her actual knowledge of said jobs).

if you are convinced that she is educated and sound then it adds a bit of trust to what she is saying.

if you think there are lies behind some of the stuff she claims to have done in her life, then maybe she is just a working-girl (prostitute) and then this "may" bring heaps of baggage to the situation. (the baggage meaning that she has ulterior motives - probably money)

The more I think about her ex, the more I realize that maybe there's some kind of protecting me thing going on. He just shows up at her home at random times in theory to see their daughter, but really he just bothers her most of the time. One time he came over when we were talking on the phone, and apparently he freaked out upon hearing a male voice on the other end, and demanded to see all of her text messages and call logs. He also wanted to know who she was talking to.

She basically just said (paraphrased) "It's my friend and it's none of your business. You better knock this shit off or you're never going to see your daughter again. You had your chance, you messed up three times. I'm done with you." She complains about him a fair amount. Not every day, but usually when he does something uncomfortable. Apparently he knocked the phone out of her hand when she said it. I only heard half of it because she gave me a quick "I will call you soon. My child's father just came to my apartment."

She never specified his nationality, though logic suggests that he is Thai.

My friend is a frickin' tiger. Threaten someone that she cares about and she will f' you up.

Edited January 4, 2014 by pjthefey

[easybullet3]

Maybe your friend is the one that really likes you and she is testing you or doing something in order to get closer to you.

if you "like" your friend (as more than a friend)... with possibility for girlfriend status, then maybe now is the time to tell her that you are not interested in a 9 year old girl and that you actually like your friend. (not the kid).

if she really is serious about you and the young kid, then it could mean a few things:

(1) they are really serious and see you as a nice savior for the kid.

(2) maybe your friend is actually the real mother of the kid and wants a good future for her daughter.

(3) maybe she sees you as a potential answer to her financial problems. by you marrying the kid, then maybe they expect a big dowry and more.

either way, yes its very strange.

there is a possibility that she is just having a laugh with you! this is quite likely.

I would never advice to marry someone 20 to 30 years younger than yourself unless you wanna be cheated on. imagine when you are 60 and she is 30 !!! she is going to find a few similar aged guys that she can enjoy more than a 60 year old.

is her ex Thai ?

if he is, and if she said he is the stalker or possessive type, then be VERY CAREFUL!! you read about jealous thai ex-bf's loosing their cool and doing some deed that ends them up in jail.

you dont want to risk being a victim of this kind of thing.

PS: Where is this girl from? what is her background?

what list of jobs has she had? what level of education? if she does have a list of jobs, you should ask her questions (testing her actual knowledge of said jobs).

if you are convinced that she is educated and sound then it adds a bit of trust to what she is saying.

if you think there are lies behind some of the stuff she claims to have done in her life, then maybe she is just a working-girl (prostitute) and then this "may" bring heaps of baggage to the situation. (the baggage meaning that she has ulterior motives - probably money)

The more I think about her ex, the more I realize that maybe there's some kind of protecting me thing going on. He just shows up at her home at random times in theory to see their daughter, but really he just bothers her most of the time. One time he came over when we were talking on the phone, and apparently he freaked out upon hearing a male voice on the other end, and demanded to see all of her text messages and call logs. He also wanted to know who she was talking to.

She basically just said (paraphrased) "It's my friend and it's none of your business. You better knock this shit off or you're never going to see your daughter again. You had your chance, you messed up three times. I'm done with you." She complains about him a fair amount. Not every day, but usually when he does something uncomfortable. Apparently he knocked the phone out of her hand when she said it. I only heard half of it because she gave me a quick "I will call you soon. My child's father just came to my apartment."

She never specified his nationality, though logic suggests that he is Thai.

My friend is a frickin' tiger. Threaten someone that she cares about and she will f' you up.

I wouldn't want that hanging over my shoulders.

its a possible risk to your safety.

[RJJ]

Costas2008, on 04 Jan 2014 - 01:24, said:

Run......Do not pass go........Do not collect 200!

She will turn 18 and get married long before you are released from Jail.

Stay in Korea!

[FiftyTwo]

"these things do not happen today, specially with a 9 year old minor."

Yes they do, all over the world, since time began.

And he's suggesting the marriage once she is of age, so your mentioning her currently being a minor is just an attempt be inflammatory.

It seems like you don't understand the hardship of life some families face in a country like Thailand.

Finding a farang with money could be a Godsend.

If you love Western values so much, live in the West. Simple.

You can marry a 13 year old in Thailand, and then have sex legally with them.

In fact, the usual court offer to someone who has had sex with a girl between 13 and 15 is marry them or go to jail.

Western values aren't all that different, in Spain you can have sex with a 13 year old, it's totally legal, but they stopped them marrying until age 16 only last year.

Edited January 5, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[dutchisaan]

The OP says that he has no plans to marry this little girl, he was shocked by the proposel. And for the OP, if you call people friends who come up with this idea than you better find some other friends.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[MilesofSmiles]

sounds legit

[pjthefey]

Well this conflict has resolved itself. My friend finally came out of her shell enough to trust her heart to someone and we are now a couple. I'm staying in Korea, and she's decided that she wants to come here with me. At first she'll stay a month or so then go back home to see family. Then she'll come back to Korea and stay a bit longer, and then I'll go back to Thailand and meet her family. We've got our tickets, and we'll be back in Korea on Feb 2. Huzzah

No worries about crazy ex-boyfriends, because he'll be in a completely different country. I guess the one advantage to being a foreigner living in another part of Asia is that you don't have to cross a frickin' ocean to visit.

Edited January 5, 2014 by pjthefey

[NCFC]

She was dropping you a hint to get you to think about marriage - to her.

The nine year old girl thing was just a way to break into the subject matter.

[pjthefey]

She was dropping you a hint to get you to think about marriage - to her.

The nine year old girl thing was just a way to break into the subject matter.

Quite possibly the most tactless segue into talk of marriage ever, but nevertheless it could be correct.

[Khunangkaro]

THAIOLOGIC

[spermwhale]

I think your "friend" is a sick bas*d. I would not associate with someone who offered up his 9 year old niece. Why would you be friends with someone like this after they asked you this question? It's wrong on so many levels.

She's a really sweet person, and she's not asking me to go do something with her 9 year old cousin's daughter.

She asked me what I thought about her 18 year old cousin's daughter when I am 40. There's a difference.

Sweet but naive. You have seen all the responses on this topic and for the most part people are telling you to make tracks. So why post for advice when you are obviously not going to take it?

[spermwhale]

Well this conflict has resolved itself. My friend finally came out of her shell enough to trust her heart to someone and we are now a couple. I'm staying in Korea, and she's decided that she wants to come here with me. At first she'll stay a month or so then go back home to see family. Then she'll come back to Korea and stay a bit longer, and then I'll go back to Thailand and meet her family. We've got our tickets, and we'll be back in Korea on Feb 2. Huzzah

No worries about crazy ex-boyfriends, because he'll be in a completely different country. I guess the one advantage to being a foreigner living in another part of Asia is that you don't have to cross a frickin' ocean to visit.

You wrote earlier: She's been brutally honest about things..

Really? Doesn't sound like it the way she was planning for you to marry the 9 year old in eight years. Sound's like you won the booby prize. Good luck with that.

[mesquite]

Yeeeer.......marry her. Put all your money in her bank account, give her kids and oh...don't forget to buy a house and car in her name.

You knew the answer to your question before you posted the opening piece. Meet the family in any case. They might be a genuinely nice bunch.

Goodluck.

Yeah.... That's not going to happen (money in her account, buying a house and car in her name, etc ). I'm more of a prenup kind of guy, much less the type of person who would sign away shared luxury items in a careless marriage.

As for marriage, she says she doesn't even want a boyfriend much less a husband.

She says ha ha ha......thai girls say a lot of things. You've got a lot to learn.

Btw does she'd know you're "more of a prenup kind of guy". ?? She'll lose interest once she finds out. If she knows what it means!!

Stay in South Korea if I were you. You're a ticking time bomb.

I trust her. She's been brutally honest about things that quite frankly she didn't have to be honest about, and would send most guys running the opposite direction. That is another reason we are friends. When I'm in Thailand my BS detector goes off a lot when interacting with some of the women. I hate it when I feel like people are just telling me what they think I want to hear. I never had that with my friend. More so than any other girl I've met in Thailand, she cuts through the bs and tells me the what's going on.

The one exception to this rule is when she is teasing me, in which case she says whatever just to get a reaction in the moment. This is one one case where I can't tell if I am dealing with seriousness or teasing.

OK, now we're getting somewhere.

She's different.

Good luck.

[mesquite]

Well this conflict has resolved itself. My friend finally came out of her shell enough to trust her heart to someone and we are now a couple. I'm staying in Korea, and she's decided that she wants to come here with me. At first she'll stay a month or so then go back home to see family. Then she'll come back to Korea and stay a bit longer, and then I'll go back to Thailand and meet her family. We've got our tickets, and we'll be back in Korea on Feb 2. Huzzah

No worries about crazy ex-boyfriends, because he'll be in a completely different country. I guess the one advantage to being a foreigner living in another part of Asia is that you don't have to cross a frickin' ocean to visit.

So is the 9-year-old/18-year-old back on the market? Just askin'.