sbk Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 This is the Ladies Forum. Not the men discussing women forum, not the men telling women what to do forum. But the forum for women to discuss things that interest us. Men are welcome but this is going too far and if you guys continue to hijack threads with your jokes, innuendoes and misguided opinions then I, for one, will have to step in as moderator and ask you to leave. The only problem here is the nice guys are the only ones sensitive enough to leave and they are the last ones we want to go. The others, meanwhile, will continue to think that somehow, this forum is here for them to flame women members and tell women how to live their lives. Men are, of course, welcome here. BUT you are not invited to join in with your snide comments, your endlessly boring and unbelievable stories of your conquests or other such off topic BS. Consider this a warning. From now on, I plan on being very diligent with this issue and will delete any topic I deem abusive or hijacking (yup, I am a moderator and if I feel a dictatorial style is needed to weed out the deadwood then I will do so--complain elsewhere) Ladies, feel free to post in this thread any suggestions you may have to return this forum to whom it belongs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Ladies, feel free to post in this thread any suggestions you may have to return this forum to whom it belongs. So ...does this mean then that us men will get our own forum where we can discuss women without fear of offending the female posters on this forum ? totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 Read the title and description Tots Ladies in ThailandA forum managed and populated by the foreign and local girls in Thailand. Venting and exchange with others. Perhaps we need to make the grammar a little clearer? Venting and exchanging with other ladies might make it clearer? Besides, you missed the point entirely, didn't you? Was that deliberate obtuseness on your part or just the usual male habit of making everything about himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Read the title and description Tots Ladies in ThailandA forum managed and populated by the foreign and local girls in Thailand. Venting and exchange with others. Perhaps we need to make the grammar a little clearer? Venting and exchanging with other ladies might make it clearer? Besides, you missed the point entirely, didn't you? Was that deliberate obtuseness on your part or just the usual male habit of making everything about himself I am/was well aware of what the title said... My point was that seeing as men are welcome but not allowed to express their opinions in here, it may be nice for us men to have a place on the forum where we can lay down similar conditions on what women can and can't post.. totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 Yup deliberately obtuse. Typically male, can't read the entire thing. Just like they can't listen either. I said men are welcome but we are (and I do speak collectively here) getting tired of men hijacking threads with deliberation. Such as you are doing here now. You want your own forum? Bring it up with admin. Not my job. So, Totster, do us all a favor and take your nitpicking elsewhere. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurgen Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Read the title and description Tots Ladies in ThailandA forum managed and populated by the foreign and local girls in Thailand. Venting and exchange with others. Perhaps we need to make the grammar a little clearer? Venting and exchanging with other ladies might make it clearer? Besides, you missed the point entirely, didn't you? Was that deliberate obtuseness on your part or just the usual male habit of making everything about himself I am/was well aware of what the title said... My point was that seeing as men are welcome but not allowed to express their opinions in here, it may be nice for us men to have a place on the forum where we can lay down similar conditions on what women can and can't post.. totster seconded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 Cheers kurgen. Are you a girl? didn't realize that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 SBK: Thanks so much for what you are trying to do. You are a great mod, and more than fair. I really appreciate you on this forum. I am going to post a message to someone on another thread, because I think the idealized version of what we want is impossible on this forum. It is not yours or anyone else's fault, it is just a recognition of the style and membership of this forum. It is reality. I am not in any way saying that we should not have the idealized version, but the idealized version of what the ladies' forum is does not exist here. Because, this is not a regular forum. This is primarily a forum populated by (regulars) men who come to Thailand to find mates and fan the flames of hostility towards Western women. There is no way a viable ladies forum of which you imagine can operate within this context. I am working on alternatives to this, but I will discuss this with you individually or through PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurgen Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 (edited) Cheers kurgen. Are you a girl? didn't realize that. As a practising lesbian I feel closest to the girls on the forum Glad to hear it kurgen. further hijackings will be deleted. Thanks SBK Edited May 19, 2006 by sbk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 What a sad conclusion Kat. I would hope that together we can work something out. I just can't understand why so many men feel the need to make everything about themselves and can't just let us live in peace. I also can't figure out why some men are so obtuse as to completely misunderstand the need women have for a place to talk without feeling constantly defensive. Certainly, there are men who have something interesting to say, and we enjoy the ebb and flow of conversation with these guys (and I would hope they know who they are). However, too many men come into this forum feeling somehow that the feminine world owes them something and end up sulking when they can't get their own way. And no, I don't want to hear about it guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 off topic post deleted sbk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Ok, I'll post my response to Sheryl from another thread here. Sheryl: I was in no way trying to be glib or dismissive towards you on the "desirable men" thread. I think almost every woman who has been on this forum for any length of time knows exactly what you are talking about. If you ever had time, you could go through some of my earlier posts on threads and observe the kind of environment that was deliberately pitched at me on this forum, from both posters and male mods alike. It is better, but it is still Thaivisa! I have stated what that means in my previous post. I use this forum for entertainment, information, to vent, and to meet other great women, and to keep my talons sharp. Mostly, I use it as a form of research on gender issues in Thailand. You have to find a way that it works for you. I've met some GREAT women here. We can cope by using the forum for what it can give us in this format, and supporting each other. The problem with the ladies forum is that it is a sub-forum within a hostile male-dominated forum. No amount of moderation is going to change that fact. But, there is something that I am doing, but I need to talk to people away from the forum about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Hear, hear SBK? (or is it here here? I'm not a Brit..) Kat, while I understand what you are saying -- but I'm not sure that even a separate website wouldn't suffer the same fate, and I do not think we should agree to allow 100% male domination of TV. By my count there are 14 forums going where males -- many, perhaps most with the attitudes described -- predominate, and I am NOT counting specialized forums (like computer, cars etc) which are mainly male by virtue of the topic. In particular, Farang Pub and the Jokes forum seem to offer abundant space for men to post their tirades about women. But of men want to set up another one that explicitly bars women from posting -- or one dedicated to male/female debates on relationships, or whatever -- be our guest. I doubt many women will bother reading much less posting on it, but there will no doubt be some males trolling as women, so it should give you all some fun. But bug off the one forum -- one out of what? 30 or more? -- established by and for women, unless you have a sincere ineterest in hearing and learning about women's points of view. Carry on, Moderator!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Alright... ok... I've had me fun.. I'll be orf now and let this topic stay serious.. Good luck totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 Thank you totster, I knew you could be reasonable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I hear what you're saying, but I'm simply trying to tell you that you are not the first to say it. If it could be done, it would've been done already. I basically had to take an assessment of where I was posting, and then make a decision. As I said earlier, there are ways that women can support each other and even thrive here, but there is nothing that will change the hostile, male-dominated environment. Actually, it has changed to some degree, because of great mods, but the attitudes of longterm and regular posters here are shaped by specific sentiments towards women. That is the reality - who and what is the dominant membership of this forum? I disagree with you about other alternatives, because there are ways to control membership and posts. However, that is my personal viewpoint, and not necessarily the most important point of this discussion. The best strategy we have here is to support one another, and don't take unecessary <deleted> from anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlRedEyes Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Just posted this in another thread, before I noticed this one. Sorry, it's more applicable here, dunno how to move it.... I seldom venture into the ladies' forum. I think in all the time I've been around TV this is about the 3rd thread I've posted in. I try and be non-chauvinistic and respectful, keeping in mind that although it's not exclusively for ladies, as evidenced by a few men regularly posting in here, it is a forum which should not be overrun and dominated by males. The first thread I posted in, I eventually left because the response, especially from some of the apparently favourite males was such that if I stayed it would have gotten a bit contentious. After a long time, I made a light-hearted and friendly post yesterday in another thread, to which a sarcastic and extremely predictable reply was promptly posted by, again an apparently favored male. I didn't reply, even though it was a pretty brainless response. This forum appears to suffer a bit from 'inbreeding' I'd say. Trying to be diplomatic here. Adios jap.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 Well, you beat me to it, read my response in the other thread. But I will repeat this again. This forum doesn't suffer inbreeding so much as an overabundance of overopinionated men who can't let a topic go by without putting their two cents worth in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 see my response on the other thread as well, red eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlRedEyes Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 (edited) I'll answer in this thread. Karma... If you follow my posts you will find that I do not just take one tack. I post what I believe on any issue, and I try and be more fair and balanced than Fox... That said, if someone attacks me I will react. You'll notice I very seldom post in the Samui forum, for very good reason. Directly, because I want to ensure i do not end up in conflict with you, as TV is a valuable resource sometimes. Same reason I stay away, until yesterday, from here. The information I can gain from TV is worth more than arguments that nobody can win. Pity, coz I do miss the western females intellect sometimes. (This does not mean she's perfect ) Anyhoooo. Peace. Edited May 19, 2006 by OlRedEyes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 See, here is more of that typical guy thing. Why do all men assume that they aren't wanted? Did I not make myself clear enough? Of course, men are welcome but all of us women are getting tired of all threads being quite literally taken over by men who feel the need to impose their opinions and attitudes on others and actually flame a woman who dares disagree. I am trying to find a bit of balance here, because this is the Ladies Forum, we would all like to feel this is a place we can come without feeling constantly on the defense. If you cannot post in a topic without overriding it with your own concerns-- the desirable man thread comes to mind, where, instantly, several men posted what they desire in a woman, unless, of course, they were all gay men -- then please, refrain from posting. There have been a mighty abundance of trolls on this forum, people who seem to enjoy posting just for the chance to stir up trouble and I, for one, am getting fed up with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
udon Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Guys, please leave this forum to the ladies. There's 50 other forums on TV........ stay out of this one. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Yep, time to take back the fortress girls. I know I have become complacent but that will change. As per the rules wot I wrote , all men are welcome but this is the Ladies forum. It was set up specifically because the rest of the forum is male dominated. So all of you who whine about not having a mans forum to post in, you do, the whole ###### thing & if you don't agree, then mail admin but stop whinging about it in here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gisele Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Thank you SBK and Boo I have been a member for a while, I used to really enjoy TV, but who needs to be criticized and flamed pretty much every time, I am not a masochist. But I keep coming back because I am an optimist still once burned twice shy so I don't post much I have been turned off quite alot by many male posters highjacking the Ladies forum. and this is a shame because I don't know any farang woman where I live, not even one, the closest farang woman friend I have lives more than one hour away, and I met her through TV, I hope the moderators will not fight a losing battle and that the posters in question can be mature and respectful of the forum. and thank you to the male posters who are already respectful, your wives/girlfriends are indeed lucky to be with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I hope the moderators will not fight a losing battle... Don't worry gisele... we won't. ... and that the posters in question can be mature and respectful of the forum. We're all here to make sure that happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryHerb Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 This is the Ladies Forum. Not the men discussing women forum, not the men telling women what to do forum. But the forum for women to discuss things that interest us.Men are welcome but this is going too far and if you guys continue to hijack threads with your jokes, innuendoes and misguided opinions then I, for one, will have to step in as moderator and ask you to leave. The only problem here is the nice guys are the only ones sensitive enough to leave and they are the last ones we want to go. The others, meanwhile, will continue to think that somehow, this forum is here for them to flame women members and tell women how to live their lives. Men are, of course, welcome here. BUT you are not invited to join in with your snide comments, your endlessly boring and unbelievable stories of your conquests or other such off topic BS. Consider this a warning. From now on, I plan on being very diligent with this issue and will delete any topic I deem abusive or hijacking (yup, I am a moderator and if I feel a dictatorial style is needed to weed out the deadwood then I will do so--complain elsewhere) Ladies, feel free to post in this thread any suggestions you may have to return this forum to whom it belongs. This is the best news I've heard all day. Even if it is a losing battle (try getting guys with massive chips on their shoulder about "the fairer sex" not to post in a topic entitled 'What women want'), I think some decisive snipping will do wonders for the discussions here - most of the time I can't be arsed to post as the thread has already degenerated beyond repair. Once the rude guests have been snipped, they are unlikely to come back. Zero tolerance - and go, s "Lorena Bobbit" bk !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patsycat Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 (edited) And don't ever call us CHICKS!!! Or we'll send Keanu round to sort you out! Edited May 19, 2006 by Patsycat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasmine Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 (edited) I have been turned off quite alot by many male posters highjacking the Ladies forum. and this is a shame because I don't know any farang woman where I live, not even one, the closest farang woman friend I have lives more than one hour away, and I met her through TV, I think this is important too. I only joined the forum because of the womens section and rarely venture out elsewhere (although the new family forum is likely to be a new haunt) for the reasons Gisele states. I'm not interested in arguing with farang men in Thailand about how they should live their lives. I was interested in talking with other women with Thai partners and luk kreung kids, women working in thailand and with men who understand that friendliness doesn't mean we fancy them Don't mean that to sound bad but when I lived in Thailand there were farang men who wouldn't repond to you if you made a friendly comment. It was like 'f off, as if I'd be interested in you' I don't think its unreasonable to want to be able to do it in a safe flame free place. I'm happy to leave the men who have certain attitudes towards farang women to themselves on their own threads. There may not be as many farang females married to Thai men as their are the other way round but we do exist and it's good to be able to meet with other people who can understand the nature of such a relationship Edited May 19, 2006 by Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I agree with what many people have said on this thread. The reason I joined TV in the first place was because of the Ladies Forum. Now, I am in no way anti-men. I love men! My father is a man! But when we want to sit around and talk about things like 'girl stuff' that we would normally discuss over a coffee, we get flamed for it. Just let us have our own little area, please. Feel free to put your opinion in if it is called for. Nobody has said NO to that. But please dont hijack the thread as happens so often. I, for one, do not want to have an area which is female access only. I value mens opinions. Just let us be when it is obvious to do so. I know youre not all THAT thick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I don't think its unreasonable to want to be able to do it in a safe flame free place. I'm happy to leave the men who have certain attitudes towards farang women to themselves on their own threads.There may not be as many farang females married to Thai men as their are the other way round but we do exist and it's good to be able to meet with other people who can understand the nature of such a relationship The whole forum should be 'flame free' but alas thats not always the case. But as our Lovely Lady Mods have stated... leave the bad attitudes at the door please gentlemen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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