Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 Love full stop. is a con job perpetrated on males by their mothers from an early age and reinforced by almost every song they hear. The male of the species comes to believe that he will one day meet the perfect girl of his dreams and fall madly in love and live happily ever after. The female knows this and takes full advantage of it. Reality is mostly different, hands up those who have been through it and are in their second or third go. Yes it does actually exist and hopefully you find it. I already went the "love" from home route a few times in the States, 2 marriages, 2 kids, 2 LTR's and a few hot affairs, they were all "that" love, I am not falling for anything like that, for now, and have interests back home still, so, I am not desiring that roller coaster again, just trying to figure out this particular one, and her overly cautious nature, and if it is over come with time, or, is it just a waste of time, hers too 2 marraiges, 2 LTR's, few hot affairs... and all failed..Maybe, just maybe, the problem is somewhere else? No worries, both wives told me I should not have ever gotten married, the first one I wanted to have kids with, and glad I did, and we had a great 15 years, but, shit happens the 2nd was a brazilian, I should have listened to my advisors who said, "just date her" the affairs, well, who shall cast the first stone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 Go on OP tell us the full deal. Where did you meet? This is very well known on other threads, but for this one's authenticity, In an upscale soapy massage parlor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 Sure, must be nice for those that can live their life like an open book with everyone they come in contact with. I don't know many that can afford to do that. please explain, we are all anonymous here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iancnx Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 OP are you being serious? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post wym Posted February 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 21, 2014 2 marraiges, 2 LTR's, few hot affairs... and all failed..Maybe, just maybe, the problem is somewhere else? Why on earth do people expect relationships to last a lifetime? That's not the definition of "success". What if someone said "you've had X many jobs in your life, what a failure!"? Way too many people stick around in a relationship long after it's actually ended, just go through the motions because that's the cultural programming. Some of my most successful relationships ran their course within a few years, of course would have been nice if they'd lasted longer, but when you've given it a good shot and it's clearly run its course, cut your losses and move on. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) Sure, must be nice for those that can live their life like an open book with everyone they come in contact with. I don't know many that can afford to do that. please explain, we are all anonymous here Well if you're a saint like Gandhi maybe. Can you share every aspect of your private life with your boss, co-workers, your kids or your mother, the whole world on social media? Those who can probably are cutting themselves off from a lot of joy in life, or their tastes are totally mainstream (IMO = most boring). PS and I believe the fact that Gandhi slept naked with his young female cousins was probably kept mostly hidden in his lifetime at least outside his inner circle. Edited February 21, 2014 by wym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 Sure, must be nice for those that can live their life like an open book with everyone they come in contact with. I don't know many that can afford to do that. please explain, we are all anonymous here Well if you're a saint like Gandhi maybe. Can you share every aspect of your private life with your boss, co-workers, your kids or your mother, the whole world on social media? Those who can probably are cutting themselves off from a lot of joy in life, or their tastes are totally mainstream (IMO = most boring). PS and I believe the fact that Gandhi slept naked with his young female cousins was probably kept mostly hidden in his lifetime at least outside his inner circle. If you mean Facebook, which I am referencing, we are creators of our own images, and the image we wish to show ourselves as, some can climb that mountain, others fall short it is something to aspire too and an hinest way of goal setting, for others, it is "Farce-book" but, everyone wants to show they are happy, it can even help a person who isn't, become so, even if only for that moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 OP are you being serious? really, who would joke about that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iancnx Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 You met a Thai prostitute in a soapy and you are asking about love? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 If you mean Facebook, which I am referencing, we are creators of our own images, and the image we wish to show ourselves as, some can climb that mountain, others fall short it is something to aspire too and an hinest way of goal setting, for others, it is "Farce-book" but, everyone wants to show they are happy, it can even help a person who isn't, become so, even if only for that moment I have no idea where you got the idea we were discussing Facebook. I was replying to this Also, her "job" precludes her from being honest with her friends, this double life business is ok with me, short term, but goes nowhere long term, even a blind man can see that , sorry I didn't make that clear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 You met a Thai prostitute in a soapy and you are asking about love? Don't confuse issues They fall in love too 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) I believe the question was meant more to be a general one, but then the OP does keep referencing back to his specific situations. Which if you really want to discuss, is ongoing here: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/704761-getting-out-of-the-bargirl-isaan-dating-scene-feels-great/?p=7470903 Edited February 21, 2014 by wym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Lots of girls think the way to show it is to be pathologically jealous. Even if deep down they know and expect, even accept that most of us just can't handle monogamy, they're afraid if they show you they accept it that you'll think they don't really love you. Goes the other way too, if you let them know you're OK with them fooling around, it takes a lot of convincing that that doesn't mean you don't really "love" them too. These deeply ingrained cultural mores are a real challenge to overcome. i dont share alot of your opinions, but i think this one is right on the money 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 You met a Thai prostitute in a soapy and you are asking about love? Don't confuse issues They fall in love too Yeah but when you meet them doing their job, there is a huge possibility that they will just carry on seeing you as a customer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 You met a Thai prostitute in a soapy and you are asking about love? I am asking aboutother people's experiences with their Thai girl friends, Don't worry about me, I am a "renter" on a toursit Visa, the question was specific I want to know about "other" thai girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Love is.....to be second to last on the list....just before her familys soidog(s). She does not express it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iancnx Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 There must be a medical term for this condition? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 You met a Thai prostitute in a soapy and you are asking about love? Don't confuse issues They fall in love too Yeah but when you meet them doing their job, there is a huge possibility that they will just carry on seeing you as a customer. It's past that, way past, (maybe) she refused to take even gas money the first two months I was with her, then she came to visit me in Chaing mai and stayed a month, upon our return to Bangkok, I asked her if she was current on all her bills because her family had been in town for two weeks and drained her, plus she didnt work then either, so, when I learned she was late on her mortgage, I determined, right or wrong, to offer her the same money I was paying for my condo, to move in with her, one to help her, and mostly, to be with her without interruption after spending a month together outside BKK, she hasnt worked since I met her, but that was her decision, not mine, I knew better than to be the one to try and "save her" it isnt about that, and I didnt expect to still be in Thailand, it is all a bit of cosmic happenstance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 There must be a medical term for this condition? there is a psychological term for a person who thinks he can "rescue" another person, I have already been there enough times, to know my role in this girls life, and it is limited, don't get off track, tell us about you, and how you express yourself, or, you aren't adding to, or complimenting the discussion, and I think you may have some things to offer, after you get over your shock that a man would care for a girl from that business, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Love is.....to be second to last on the list....just before her familys soidog(s). She does not express it. good lord you are depressing, you haven't started enough threads of misery, you need to take it on tour? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) There must be a medical term for this condition? Tolerant, sex-positive, open-minded? Do you honestly think being a sex worker is in itself immoral? Do you honestly think they shouldn't have protection and respect from society? People once felt that way about gays, not to mention other religions, political beliefs, races. I have a dream. . . Edited February 21, 2014 by wym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iancnx Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Good luck to u and your thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Love is.....to be second to last on the list....just before her familys soidog(s). She does not express it. Yes get off the pity pot. You have your goals by now right? Now work hard at achieving them. Part of that will have to include taking on a more constructive outlook, and probably re-establishing strong positive relationships with those you have been viewing as the enemy. Feeling sorry for yourself, seeing yourself as the victim expecting others to commiserate with you isn't going to help you get your kids back. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 You met a Thai prostitute in a soapy and you are asking about love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 There must be a medical term for this condition? Tolerant, sex-positive, open-minded? Do you honestly think being a sex worker is in itself immoral? Do you honestly think they shouldn't have protection and respect from society? People once felt that way about gays, not to mention other religions, political beliefs, races. I have a dream. . . Very well said. There are many western girls who probably think their father, is actually, their real father, my last wife related a story to me about how her father always traveled, and that she remembered being tucked in to sleep more by an airline piolt that lived in their building in Sao Paulo, and then later, when she became of age, she started getting calls from airline pilots to go on dates, and never put the dots together, that her mother was sleeping around, right there, in her marital bed, I wish the people who are so mystified that some or all of these girls, have dreams too and will always be in a position to feed themselves and their familes, without having to sell their bodies,. this girl has told me straight out, her mother is most important to her and she will sacrifice herself for her mother and brother and his child, and that any man in her life has to deal with that, which is why she didnt have a bf for 3 years, before me which, if you think about it what did she need a bf for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I wish the people who are so mystified that some or all of these girls, have dreams too and will always be in a position to feed themselves and their familes, without having to sell their bodies,. Just a minor bit but central to my point. They may very well be "selling their bodies" by mainstream standards. But there's nothing wrong with doing that, grey areas like this or the models who marry the rich guys, or the explicit sex worker out in the street, if they're making their own choices and not hurting anyone else it's all good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Love is.....to be second to last on the list....just before her familys soidog(s). She does not express it. Yes get off the pity pot.You have your goals by now right? Now work hard at achieving them. Part of that will have to include taking on a more constructive outlook, and probably re-establishing strong positive relationships with those you have been viewing as the enemy. Feeling sorry for yourself, seeing yourself as the victim expecting others to commiserate with you isn't going to help you get your kids back. Now now.....one has nothing to do with another. Try to see it seperate. I just stated my last experience based on OP's question. An unfortunate experience. It is however how it is. Have had good experiences in the past 2. One tends to remember the last 1 more vividly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 The thought manifests as the word, The word manifests as the deed, The deed develops into habit, And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its way with care, And let it spring from love Born out of concern for all beings. The words above echo what the Buddha said more than 2500 years ago: We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. The truth of this verse is timeless: it is truth whether for the past, the present or the future. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdanielmcev Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) Not really sure what the OP wants here. Could be vastly different actions by the same woman to different men. From my gf, it's " I good wife" And I get my underwear ironed. Still haven't figured that one out. Edited February 21, 2014 by sdanielmcev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 Not really sure what the OP wants here. Could be vastly different actions by the same woman to different men. From my gf, it's " I good wife" And I get my underwear ironed. Still haven't figured that one out. You guys actually still wear underwear? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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