What's your family think of Thailand?

[krisb]

What's your family think of Thailand?

My mother is a psychologist, she thinks the country is nice in the cool season, but considers most of the Thais to have 'severe emotional' and 'extreme repressed anger' issues.

That is interesting. Certainly at election time this is quite visible.

[JLCrab]

At least in their younger days, what my family would think of Thailand is that it's a long way to go for a round of golf.

[Scottythai]

Mine love it. Mom and Stepdad come out every year around Feb for a month. My Father has retired and lives in CM for 6 months a year with his wife. My sister though busy all the time tries to visit every 2nd year or so. They love the food and beaches. Dad loves the climate. And it's much more fun for them to come here than me to go back to cold nanny state Canada..

[kinmaew]

They know I love the place but they are weary of it and for good reason. Death, destruction, anti foreigner, cant buy land etc you get the picture why would someone wanna go there. I just read the post about Indonesia 25 year visa if marry a local girl there, I am going there soon so will check it out may be better to live there long term.

[stickylies]

the female part of my family thinks: GREAT FOOD.

the male part of my family thinks: GREAT PUSSY.

i agree with the females...

[stickylies]

My mother is a psychologist, she thinks the country is nice in the cool season, but considers most of the Thais to have 'severe emotional' and 'extreme repressed anger' issues.

oh common... in the west a ridiculously high numbers of teens and adults are on pills because they can't handle their emotions and (existential) fears... it's inherent to HUMANS not to thailand.

[Nowisee]

Some of these posts are so stereotyped and some can't even be supported by actual experience.

There's issues of every kind where ever you go and what ever you do... IF, you've been to enough places and experienced enough things.

Who really cares what family, friends or strangers think about where you are or what you're doing? (rhetorically asked).

Put things into perspective and don't spend one second of time worrying about the negative thoughts of others as it relates to you navigating the world.

[LaraC]

A couple of older relatives visited, and enjoyed it.
However, they did spend most of the time resting and relaxing in the flash hotel, not out of it.
They just wanted a rest and didnt really want to see Thailand that much.
My brother has no desire to visit, though i have invited him ongoing.
He isnt a fan of Thai food and doesnt like Asian eyes (.... i know, what can i say?)

My family, and work colleagues, think of Thailand primarily as a sex tourism destination and secondarily as a backpacking destination. As do I. It has to be said, unlike other expat destinations, the expats in Thailand are nearly all male. I've barely spoken to a single expat who, like me (although I don't ever intend living in Thailand), hasn't either taken advantage of the sex industry or screwed at least dozens of Thai women. Even if they found a companion and have since, at least for now, settled down.

That is not generally the case in popular expat destinations such as Spain or Australia where couples go to retire or families go to start anew. How many Thailand apologists have you read, on these forums alone, who try to play down every uncivilised aspect of Thailand and then turn on the critic for daring to be in the country at all? Why be so defensive? Most of the criticism is spot on. Western countries are more civilised. They do have better infrastructure, a better rule of law, better schools, and so on.

It begins with a P and rhymes with fussy. That's the only reason a westerner would put up with all the nonsense and that's why my folks, correctly, think that guys come, at least initially, to live in Thailand. Sure the food is nice (although what isn't with MSG?!) but, please, give me a break!

As a woman in Thailand my perspective is different. Sometimes i wonder if i have screw loose living here, when there are other less misogynistic countries to live in...and it is misogynistic, and thus it does encourage misogynistic men to come here. I like it because i like the quieter side of life, so it suits me. It is also cheaper to live here and i love Thai food and get on well with the Thai style/way of doing things. However, i know many western men who live here who will happily slag off Thai ways and rant and rave. Why are they here then? Oh yeh, because for the first time in their lives they actually feel on the radar when it comes to women. Seriously, if women paid them no attention whatsoever and if they could not get a woman easily/choices were limited (either via normal methods or bought and paid for attention), most would not be here. Most guys who have a decent income/fund, who can get attention from good looking women the world over, will generally not live in Thailand.

[stickylies]

Most guys who have a decent income/fund, who can get attention from good looking women the world over, will generally not live in Thailand.

True, except of course for those who come here to be left alone, enjoying nature and -like u say- quieter (and cheaper) side of life... AKA me.

[Nowisee]

A couple of older relatives visited, and enjoyed it.

However, they did spend most of the time resting and relaxing in the flash hotel, not out of it.

They just wanted a rest and didnt really want to see Thailand that much.

My brother has no desire to visit, though i have invited him ongoing.

He isnt a fan of Thai food and doesnt like Asian eyes (.... i know, what can i say?)

My family, and work colleagues, think of Thailand primarily as a sex tourism destination and secondarily as a backpacking destination. As do I. It has to be said, unlike other expat destinations, the expats in Thailand are nearly all male. I've barely spoken to a single expat who, like me (although I don't ever intend living in Thailand), hasn't either taken advantage of the sex industry or screwed at least dozens of Thai women. Even if they found a companion and have since, at least for now, settled down.

That is not generally the case in popular expat destinations such as Spain or Australia where couples go to retire or families go to start anew. How many Thailand apologists have you read, on these forums alone, who try to play down every uncivilised aspect of Thailand and then turn on the critic for daring to be in the country at all? Why be so defensive? Most of the criticism is spot on. Western countries are more civilised. They do have better infrastructure, a better rule of law, better schools, and so on.

It begins with a P and rhymes with fussy. That's the only reason a westerner would put up with all the nonsense and that's why my folks, correctly, think that guys come, at least initially, to live in Thailand. Sure the food is nice (although what isn't with MSG?!) but, please, give me a break!

As a woman in Thailand my perspective is different. Sometimes i wonder if i have screw loose living here, when there are other less misogynistic countries to live in...and it is misogynistic, and thus it does encourage misogynistic men to come here. I like it because i like the quieter side of life, so it suits me. It is also cheaper to live here and i love Thai food and get on well with the Thai style/way of doing things. However, i know many western men who live here who will happily slag off Thai ways and rant and rave. Why are they here then? Oh yeh, because for the first time in their lives they actually feel on the radar when it comes to women. Seriously, if women paid them no attention whatsoever and if they could not get a woman easily/choices were limited (either via normal methods or bought and paid for attention), most would not be here. Most guys who have a decent income/fund, who can get attention from good looking women the world over, will generally not live in Thailand.

I would agree with your self assessment of having a screw loose.

Who exactly is misogynistic? Thailand, Thai men or the men that come here? Never mind the answer as your comments are clearly from the mind of a misandrist woman. Thailand is a safe place for woman like you, as you can always blame the men.

[LaraC]

A couple of older relatives visited, and enjoyed it.

However, they did spend most of the time resting and relaxing in the flash hotel, not out of it.

They just wanted a rest and didnt really want to see Thailand that much.

My brother has no desire to visit, though i have invited him ongoing.

He isnt a fan of Thai food and doesnt like Asian eyes (.... i know, what can i say?)

My family, and work colleagues, think of Thailand primarily as a sex tourism destination and secondarily as a backpacking destination. As do I. It has to be said, unlike other expat destinations, the expats in Thailand are nearly all male. I've barely spoken to a single expat who, like me (although I don't ever intend living in Thailand), hasn't either taken advantage of the sex industry or screwed at least dozens of Thai women. Even if they found a companion and have since, at least for now, settled down.

That is not generally the case in popular expat destinations such as Spain or Australia where couples go to retire or families go to start anew. How many Thailand apologists have you read, on these forums alone, who try to play down every uncivilised aspect of Thailand and then turn on the critic for daring to be in the country at all? Why be so defensive? Most of the criticism is spot on. Western countries are more civilised. They do have better infrastructure, a better rule of law, better schools, and so on.

It begins with a P and rhymes with fussy. That's the only reason a westerner would put up with all the nonsense and that's why my folks, correctly, think that guys come, at least initially, to live in Thailand. Sure the food is nice (although what isn't with MSG?!) but, please, give me a break!

As a woman in Thailand my perspective is different. Sometimes i wonder if i have screw loose living here, when there are other less misogynistic countries to live in...and it is misogynistic, and thus it does encourage misogynistic men to come here. I like it because i like the quieter side of life, so it suits me. It is also cheaper to live here and i love Thai food and get on well with the Thai style/way of doing things. However, i know many western men who live here who will happily slag off Thai ways and rant and rave. Why are they here then? Oh yeh, because for the first time in their lives they actually feel on the radar when it comes to women. Seriously, if women paid them no attention whatsoever and if they could not get a woman easily/choices were limited (either via normal methods or bought and paid for attention), most would not be here. Most guys who have a decent income/fund, who can get attention from good looking women the world over, will generally not live in Thailand.

I would agree with your self assessment of having a screw loose.

Who exactly is misogynistic? Thailand, Thai men or the men that come here? Never mind the answer as your comments are clearly from the mind of a misandrist woman. Thailand is a safe place for woman like you, as you can always blame the men.

You really dont believe that Thailand in general is a misogynistic country? Ok fair enough everyone is intitiled to their opinion. Ive lived in many countries though, even Latin countries, and ive never felt that until i lived here.

As for suggesting i am misandrist...seriously, if i was, would i be living in what i consider to be a misogynistic country? I imagine i would spontaniously combust if i was!

[neverdie]

What's not to love about Thailand!

If one turns a blind eyed to the following of course:

1. Poor service

2. Horrific traffic

3. World class risk of death in a road accident

4. Highest risk of being murdered (Australian visitors)

5. Impossibly difficult visa regulations

6. Endemic corruption

7. A facile police force

8. Environmental degradation

9. Unplanned and illegal overdevelopment

11. Disdain towards foreigners

12. Poorly educated hosts

13. Extortion under threat of violence if one wants to visit a public beach

14. Extortion under threat of violence if one chooses not to use a taxi

15. Risk of rape or extortion if one choose to use a taxi

16. Risk of injury or death from travelling in a bus

17. Risk of injury or deat if travelling in a ferry

18. No consistency in the application of government policy

19. No accountability

20. No rights for a foreigner who has an complaint arising out of 18 or 19 above

21. Sin sot

22. Forced visa runs

23. Protests

24. Dual pricing

I am bored now...anyone want to continue on with my list...

You forgot whinging foreigners.

[stickylies]

Your comments are clearly from the mind of a misandrist woman. Thailand is a safe place for woman like you, as you can always blame the men.

boys will be boys and "men" in thailand (local and farang alike) can definitely stay little boys til they die, ie. acting immature (the fart-joke kinda level, sigh... and even more pathetic when they get drunk...) and spoiled. this probably explains why so many "men" like it here... not judging, just observing. oh well, never mind me, i'm labeled as bplaek. (both here and back home) and not a real man (no football, no getting drunk, no bg's, no car, no peeing on the toilet seat, aso).

[thailiketoo]

You really dont believe that Thailand in general is a misogynistic country? Ok fair enough everyone is intitiled to their opinion. Ive lived in many countries though, even Latin countries, and ive never felt that until i lived here.

As for suggesting i am misandrist...seriously, if i was, would i be living in what i consider to be a misogynistic country? I imagine i would spontaniously combust if i was!

I have forbidden my daughters to come to Thailand because it is a misogynistic country. (I wonder how many will get this?)

[simple1]

I contend that some posters are generally confusing Chauvinism with Misogyny in Thailand

[thailiketoo]

I contend that some posters are generally confusing Chauvinism with Misogyny in Thailand

Not really any difference except for the pedantic.

[simple1]

I contend that some posters are generally confusing Chauvinism with Misogyny in Thailand

Not really any difference except for the pedantic.

In context chauvinism is genrerally considered as a male believing they are superior to women. Misogyny is generally considered as male hatred of women, big difference...

[thailiketoo]

I contend that some posters are generally confusing Chauvinism with Misogyny in Thailand

Not really any difference except for the pedantic.

In context chauvinism is genrerally considered as a male believing they are superior to women. Misogyny is generally considered as male hatred of women, big difference...

Is a misogynist always a chauvinist? Is a chauvinist closer to becoming a misogynist than a normal Thai male? My point is that the two words are a matter of degree and the pedantic will argue the meaning of degree. Both treat women as second class citizens; to what extent is open to debate.

Are women in Thailand second class citizens? In a lot of ways yes and in a lot of ways no. There are many Thai women who are not the only one wearing panties in the family.

Is Thailand too misogynist for me? No. For my daughters? Yes. Do I have authority over my adult daughters? Yes.

[LaraC]

I contend that some posters are generally confusing Chauvinism with Misogyny in Thailand

Personally i mean what i say. Misogyny.

"Male chauvinism is the belief that men are superior to women. This is closely associated with sexism and misogyny." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_chauvinism#Male_chauvinism

"Misogyny /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/ is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogyny

I believe that in general, Thailand is a country with is misogynistic, and that is also why a lot of certain kinds of expat men are comfortable here.

I also know full well that i will be shot down for such an outrageous claim. For, just like the "my girl is different" no one likes to admit to certain realities.

[thailiketoo]

I contend that some posters are generally confusing Chauvinism with Misogyny in Thailand

Personally i mean what i say. Misogyny.

"Male chauvinism is the belief that men are superior to women. This is closely associated with sexism and misogyny." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_chauvinism#Male_chauvinism

"Misogyny /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/ is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogyny

I believe that in general, Thailand is a country with is misogynistic, and that is also why a lot of certain kinds of expat men are comfortable here.

I also know full well that i will be shot down for such an outrageous claim. For, just like the "my girl is different" no one likes to admit to certain realities.

Some people like the stewardesses on Delta Airlines. The rest of us live in Thailand. Or. The nurse is going to give me a shot. It is going to hurt if the nurse is wearing a short skirt and heels or is big and dumpy and wearing blue pajamas. ..........

[stickylies]

All sexpats are misogynists. Let us agree on that.

Many (but not all) farang men in Thailand are (ex-)sexpats. Let us agree on that.

Many (but not all) (ex-)sexpats eventually need affection/love (perfectly compatible with misogynist feelings) and therefore settle with wife/gf, often (ex-)BG. Let us agree on that.

Many Majority of (ex-)sexpats will claim they are (were) not a sexpat. Let us agree on that.

[simple1]

I contend that some posters are generally confusing Chauvinism with Misogyny in Thailand

Personally i mean what i say. Misogyny.

"Male chauvinism is the belief that men are superior to women. This is closely associated with sexism and misogyny." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_chauvinism#Male_chauvinism

"Misogyny /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/ is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogyny

I believe that in general, Thailand is a country with is misogynistic, and that is also why a lot of certain kinds of expat men are comfortable here.

I also know full well that i will be shot down for such an outrageous claim. For, just like the "my girl is different" no one likes to admit to certain realities.

I rarely socially mix with Westeners in Thailand, but if they start down the path of 'blah, blah' about females I just walk away so cannot comment on their attitudes based upon conversations. Certainly misogynistic posts on TV are not uncommon, but what percentage of TV posters do they represent as there must be thousands of Westerners following TV who are in relationships of one form or another with women.

My experience and observation of Thai families in the community that I live in the males are not misogynistic.

[GrantSmith]

I rarely socially mix with Westeners in Thailand, but if they start down the path of 'blah, blah' about females I just walk away so cannot comment on their attitudes based upon conversations. Certainly misogynistic posts on TV are not uncommon, but what percentage of TV posters do they represent as there must be thousands of Westerners following TV who are in relationships of one form or another with women.

My experience and observation of Thai families in the community that I live in the males are not misogynistic.

"What percentage do they represent" - The loudest! Now that may well not be the majority, but it's the percentage that is the most vocal..

[stickylies]

there must be thousands of Westerners following TV who are in relationships of one form or another with women.

see my post above. many misogynists eventually need affection/love and will settle with wife/gf. this makes them even more misogynistic, the fact that they can't live without a woman...

[Dave 74]

Expert Alert.

[samran]

All sexpats are misogynists. Let us agree on that.

Many (but not all) farang men in Thailand are (ex-)sexpats. Let us agree on that.

Many (but not all) (ex-)sexpats eventually need affection/love (perfectly compatible with misogynist feelings) and therefore settle with wife/gf, often (ex-)BG. Let us agree on that.

Many Majority of (ex-)sexpats will claim they are (were) not a sexpat. Let us agree on that.

And off those, most will be ex SAS/Special forces married to hi-so Thai Chinese women. Let us agree on that.

[nickmanchester2]

My mum has been 5 times now and just left last week - she would not come unless I was here.

She does not like fish with heads and skin on, and does not eat meat.... so it can be difficult at times - she walked out of one place as it was too 'grotty' (even though it was rated number 1 on tripadvisor lol).

She is still scared of Geckos in her bedroom and I even manged to catch one and put it outside for her this visit.

Thinks that Thai people like their children and animals a lot.

My brother loves the food and girls and also commented that he liked the odd temple although he never asked to see one - nor does my mum - he's been twice - he better not come back as he has a gf back home now.

My dad is best of not coming here as it too hot for him.

[FiftyTwo]

I contend that some posters are generally confusing Chauvinism with Misogyny in Thailand

Not really any difference except for the pedantic.

In context chauvinism is genrerally considered as a male believing they are superior to women. Misogyny is generally considered as male hatred of women, big difference...

Is a misogynist always a chauvinist? Is a chauvinist closer to becoming a misogynist than a normal Thai male? My point is that the two words are a matter of degree and the pedantic will argue the meaning of degree. Both treat women as second class citizens; to what extent is open to debate.

Are women in Thailand second class citizens? In a lot of ways yes and in a lot of ways no. There are many Thai women who are not the only one wearing panties in the family.

Is Thailand too misogynist for me? No. For my daughters? Yes. Do I have authority over my adult daughters? Yes.

I would disagree, you can hate all women without feeling you are superior to all women, and vice versa.

INDEED you could very well hate all women BECAUSE you feel inferior to them.

Chauvinism and misogyny go together like feminism and misandry.

Where you can find one of the pair, you may well find the other.

But it's not a given.

[Escapologist]

"Misogyny /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/ is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogyny

I believe that in general, Thailand is a country with is misogynistic, and that is also why a lot of certain kinds of expat men are comfortable here.

"Sexual objectification". One of feminism's deadly sins and one practised by every sexual being who ever lived in the company of other sexually desirable beings. We're all "stare rapists" (<deleted>!) whether we admit it or not. It really is no criticism when it gets to this level of sniping. Most men, who actually give a damn enough to listen to any of it, probably see it as good old hatred and envy concealed behind a veneer of intellectual-sounding jargon. The product of a small minority of damaged women, who often hate their fathers, and who have produced nothing of any positive value. Which is, of course, exactly what it amounts to in practice. Thailand is not an egalitarian society and has not succumbed to the Marxist cultural revolution which saw that ideology create the oppressive conditions currently griping a number of Western societies.

I don't blame guys, who don't wreck their lives and families in the process, for choosing Thailand to get away from that. As you say, they often have little chance with attractive women back home and so Thailand, at least for a while, provides what they lack. I think it's a tragedy for those who overlook everything else though. Thailand is not a developed nation and foreigners are not even citizens, let alone second-class ones! The falang's stroked-ego too often conceals his status as human-livestock from him - there for the taking and discarded when his financial carcass has no further use - and maintains his illusions about himself and Thailand. Each to his own though and, for me, Thailand is an exciting holiday! A time when I too am a "misogynist" (such a fancy word for such a dull gripe).

[wym]

As a woman in Thailand my perspective is different. Sometimes i wonder if i have screw loose living here, when there are other less misogynistic countries to live in...and it is misogynistic, and thus it does encourage misogynistic men to come here. I like it because i like the quieter side of life, so it suits me. It is also cheaper to live here and i love Thai food and get on well with the Thai style/way of doing things. However, i know many western men who live here who will happily slag off Thai ways and rant and rave. Why are they here then? Oh yeh, because for the first time in their lives they actually feel on the radar when it comes to women. Seriously, if women paid them no attention whatsoever and if they could not get a woman easily/choices were limited (either via normal methods or bought and paid for attention), most would not be here. Most guys who have a decent income/fund, who can get attention from good looking women the world over, will generally not live in Thailand.

Spot on in many ways, although I suspect you may be over-using the misogynistic term to simply apply to anything that doesn't match up with your feminist ideals. And note that just as women back home are constantly complaining that there aren't any men out there, it's not true just not enough meeting their too-high standards. Same with we old fat unattractive not-rich guys, there are PLENTY of women our own age that are readily available, just not the young eager-to-please hard-body stunners we're looking for, and thank god are so available here.

But even applying the term accurately, there certainly are many many genuinely abusive misogynistic men here, as is obvious just from reading the forum threads here.

I don't put wh0re-mongers in that category as long as they're honest about what they're doing and dealing with girls that are in the biz of their own free will.

But lots of guys try to get discounted long-term deals by pretending they're interested in a long-term relationship, maybe not outright lying but not revealing their true intentions fully knowing that's what the girl is after.

And some are straight "pump and dump" scammers, outright lying to girls taking advantage of those they know are almost desperately close to their use-by dates.

True there are large numbers of TG scamming and lying, but that doesn't justify guys doing the same.

For myself, although nearly all my relationships start out as purely transactional, many do develop over time into much more than that, and I do my best to always be honest and show respect in all my dealings.

Many Thai girls have to be TAUGHT to respect themselves, to believe that they are worthy of respect from others, and to be able to slowly break free of their social programming that they think has them locked into such limited roles. They're not necessarily dominated by the father though, just the whole obligation to parents routine, most families I find, at least among the rural poor, it really is the mother who runs the show.

In any case we're not going to be able to put much of a dent in Thai society as a whole wrt these issues, but as long as we strive to do our part with those we come in contact with, we can make a difference, some of us more than others.

I am very happy that I still have a very good ongoing friendship with the vast majority of my ex-SOs, and they are almost all constantly expressing their gratitude for my having helped them achieve a better life than they would have found if they hadn't met me.

One couple's just invited me to stay with them in their Manhattan duplex next time I go home for a visit so I don't have to impose myself on my mum or my sister; that'll be a treat. . .