What are your perceptions of having a Thai GF or wife

[Scarpolo]

Met my now ex-Thai wife on Ko Tao. She was en route from NZ (where she lived) to Italy, stopped off in Chumphon to visit mom, hopped to Ko Tao to get dive certified. She was a cute and happy 25-year-old with a hardbody from working out every day back in NZ. (Had some of the best workout form of any person I knew, in fact. Perfect at lifting, hell of a running stride.) University educated, spoke and wrote fluent English, had traveled Europe, then more or less settled in Auckland. I pretty much fell for her, island romance style.

After about 10 days on the islands we reluctantly went our separate ways, then about two months later she flew back from Europe, me from the US and we met up in BKK. Tried to get her a visitors visa for US, but denied because of the fact she traveled so much and had not resided in Thailand for some years. Even though she was from a good family (mother, anyway) with property and bank accounts, US Consulate shut her (us) down on the spot: "You have no reason to return to Thailand", officer said (probably for the millionth time).

She seemed okay until we got back to the hotel room, then she lost it. Got to me. Said the words: "Ying, I will get you to the US even if I have to marry you."

About five months and some major (major) governmental aggravation later, brought her in on a fiance visa and married her. Started the residency process.

Took me about a month to realize there was no way we would go the distance. Just not enough basis for communication. No matter how westernized she was, was just never going to happen. Gym, mountain biking, running, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, eating... If you can't have an interesting conversation once in a while, it's no-go (for me). Good woman, too. Worked for her own money, went to school, took classes to learn how drive the streets of San Francisco and always honest -- at least until I broke it to her we were going to split.

I stuck it out for three years, then after final immigration interview, she had her green card and I ended it.

After her major tantrum (the first and only), busted up some of my picture frames, shattering the glass all over the floor, a while after, anyway, she knew it was for the best.

In short: That was my last and likely final serious relationship with a Thai woman. Seems like even the smart ones, there is always that cultural curtain...

A very poignant post, as it shows, it isnt just the "country" girls

[Scarpolo]

In the home country I had a thai girlfriend. She had few advantages in life, but made the most of what was at hand. Her family paid for her brother to attend uni, but not for her. Her own smarts got her admitted to Chula,

and she supported her ed. by playing guitar in cafes. She made it to farangland, where she continued collecting academic degrees and professional credentials. She also acquired, through torturous effort, absolutely flawless, TOTALLY UNACCENTED, English. She works for a state government agency, where she has a private office. Not a soft gal. Not a effusively warm gal. Too much real life experience for that.

She was not capable of having a dishonest.thought.

She said:

"I do not have, nor do I want, any thai 'friends.' They are the sort of people who ask to borrow money without any intention of paying it back. Their idea of having a good time is getting blind drunk, then climbing behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. I don't need the aggravation."

I acquired a mentor in "los." A 83y.o. retired THAI police captain. His advice was:

"#1. Never trust anyone in Thailand. ANYONE!

#2. Thai people care for nothing but money.

#3 It is VERY RARE to find a Thai person who

can put himself in another persons shoes."

(That is, the question 'SHOULD I rip this person

off' would never enter his mind, because it is

completely contrary to both his nature and

nurture.

#4. You must know a Thai woma for at least SIX YEARS

before you think of marrying her.

Please note that these words are not my own, but those of a Thai of vast professional experience on a personal level.

Sadly I was exposed to his wisdom too late to benefit from it.

I was romantically (from my side, at least) involved with two Thai women. Both uni graduates, both with

professional degrees, both Thai government officers. One was a RN who ran a public education project,

The other was an accountant with the Community Development Office. She also did public education,

oversaw village elections, etc.

It turned out that the RN was not really interested in a relationship at all. She was a "player" who saw a

farang she could get some money from. Fortunately that little lesson was only disappointing and humiliating, and not overly expensive.

To my immense regret I trusted the accountant, and ended up marrying her. I spoke to her (yes, TO her,

for this being Thailand, what we farangs know as "conversation" is virtually impossible) at considerable length about what seemed to be likely points of friction, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

All of this was in vain. She later frankly admitted:

"I lied to get you to marry me."

But that said, she now claims that everything is my fault, and not half, but EVERYTHING belongs to her. This is now wending its way through the court system. The only certainty is that win or lose, at sixty-seven

years of age, I am pretty much buggered.

There are many who say that one should avoid the lowly bar girl, and seek out "the better class" of Thai

woman. Everything I have personally experienced, and the vast majority of what I have heard, has led me to conclude that

the prototype Thai woman, from which all others are derived, was a visually appealing, perfidious, manipulative, venomous, and sociopathic skank. The "better class" is imbued with ALL of these qualities, with added "education," and buffing which increase their "face." This additional camoflage renders them

more perfectly suited for practicing the art of deception.

That is the base, the norm. Anyone who over time proves to be completely lacking in those opposite-of-

admirable qualities, and deserves the appelation "decent human being," is an anomaly, an abberation, a freak of nature.

Thai men say: "Thai woman like tiger!"

Bear in mind that every broken, buggered, and embittered farang who was formerly married to a Thai woman once regarded himself as the luckiest chap on the planet.

Is every last Thai woman a CENSORED CENSORED? Obviously not.

But considering the odds, you would probably have better luck playing russian roulette with a automatic!

The problem I see in this is this:

they lie so much, they do not know where the truth is anymore, and, it doesn't matter to them anymore, if ever, as their culture justifies it, just as their culture accepts wife #2, wife #3 and children with many, and support from none.

this is their culture,

it is not about their temples

[Scarpolo]

Been married for 6 years, we have a three year old daughter. Can honestly say were both happy! One thing I think can help is the fact we've been living in the UK for five years. Many Thais get the impression that because you live in the UK etc, you must be rich! Well that was the perception years ago! She now understands the cost of living here,while our wages are much higher, so is everything else. This also reflects on other family members, I have seen so many relationships break up because they think it's they're right to squeeze money out of you, this thankfully has never happened. We are moving back to Thailand within six months, we will be having her Mum live with us, to be honest I'm looking forward to it. I miss the whole family thing!

Bringing the mother in to live with you,

will bring upon you every evil they have lived with their entire lives, including all their superstitions.

what are you thinking man?

[Showbags]

Met my now ex-Thai wife on Ko Tao. She was en route from NZ (where she lived) to Italy, stopped off in Chumphon to visit mom, hopped to Ko Tao to get dive certified. She was a cute and happy 25-year-old with a hardbody from working out every day back in NZ. (Had some of the best workout form of any person I knew, in fact. Perfect at lifting, hell of a running stride.) University educated, spoke and wrote fluent English, had traveled Europe, then more or less settled in Auckland. I pretty much fell for her, island romance style.

After about 10 days on the islands we reluctantly went our separate ways, then about two months later she flew back from Europe, me from the US and we met up in BKK. Tried to get her a visitors visa for US, but denied because of the fact she traveled so much and had not resided in Thailand for some years. Even though she was from a good family (mother, anyway) with property and bank accounts, US Consulate shut her (us) down on the spot: "You have no reason to return to Thailand", officer said (probably for the millionth time).

She seemed okay until we got back to the hotel room, then she lost it. Got to me. Said the words: "Ying, I will get you to the US even if I have to marry you."

About five months and some major (major) governmental aggravation later, brought her in on a fiance visa and married her. Started the residency process.

Took me about a month to realize there was no way we would go the distance. Just not enough basis for communication. No matter how westernized she was, was just never going to happen. Gym, mountain biking, running, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, eating... If you can't have an interesting conversation once in a while, it's no-go (for me). Good woman, too. Worked for her own money, went to school, took classes to learn how drive the streets of San Francisco and always honest -- at least until I broke it to her we were going to split.

I stuck it out for three years, then after final immigration interview, she had her green card and I ended it.

After her major tantrum (the first and only), busted up some of my picture frames, shattering the glass all over the floor, a while after, anyway, she knew it was for the best.

In short: That was my last and likely final serious relationship with a Thai woman. Seems like even the smart ones, there is always that cultural curtain...

A very poignant post, as it shows, it isnt just the "country" girls

Can WW please forward me her number and a photo ?

Oh for someone that you did not have to talk too...and looked hot and could do all that exercisy stuff

[Scarpolo]

Met my now ex-Thai wife on Ko Tao. She was en route from NZ (where she lived) to Italy, stopped off in Chumphon to visit mom, hopped to Ko Tao to get dive certified. She was a cute and happy 25-year-old with a hardbody from working out every day back in NZ. (Had some of the best workout form of any person I knew, in fact. Perfect at lifting, hell of a running stride.) University educated, spoke and wrote fluent English, had traveled Europe, then more or less settled in Auckland. I pretty much fell for her, island romance style.

After about 10 days on the islands we reluctantly went our separate ways, then about two months later she flew back from Europe, me from the US and we met up in BKK. Tried to get her a visitors visa for US, but denied because of the fact she traveled so much and had not resided in Thailand for some years. Even though she was from a good family (mother, anyway) with property and bank accounts, US Consulate shut her (us) down on the spot: "You have no reason to return to Thailand", officer said (probably for the millionth time).

She seemed okay until we got back to the hotel room, then she lost it. Got to me. Said the words: "Ying, I will get you to the US even if I have to marry you."

About five months and some major (major) governmental aggravation later, brought her in on a fiance visa and married her. Started the residency process.

Took me about a month to realize there was no way we would go the distance. Just not enough basis for communication. No matter how westernized she was, was just never going to happen. Gym, mountain biking, running, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, eating... If you can't have an interesting conversation once in a while, it's no-go (for me). Good woman, too. Worked for her own money, went to school, took classes to learn how drive the streets of San Francisco and always honest -- at least until I broke it to her we were going to split.

I stuck it out for three years, then after final immigration interview, she had her green card and I ended it.

After her major tantrum (the first and only), busted up some of my picture frames, shattering the glass all over the floor, a while after, anyway, she knew it was for the best.

In short: That was my last and likely final serious relationship with a Thai woman. Seems like even the smart ones, there is always that cultural curtain...

A very poignant post, as it shows, it isnt just the "country" girls

Can WW please forward me her number and a photo ?

Oh for someone that you did not have to talk too...and looked hot and could do all that exercisy stuff

my sponsor to Thailand suggested exactly that,

having a girlfriend that didnt speak the language, but whose body language spoke for her.

There is a price for that, I know,

and it was worth paying,

every week

[JLCrab]

[Wordworx]

Met my now ex-Thai wife on Ko Tao. She was en route from NZ (where she lived) to Italy, stopped off in Chumphon to visit mom, hopped to Ko Tao to get dive certified. She was a cute and happy 25-year-old with a hardbody from working out every day back in NZ. (Had some of the best workout form of any person I knew, in fact. Perfect at lifting, hell of a running stride.) University educated, spoke and wrote fluent English, had traveled Europe, then more or less settled in Auckland. I pretty much fell for her, island romance style.

After about 10 days on the islands we reluctantly went our separate ways, then about two months later she flew back from Europe, me from the US and we met up in BKK. Tried to get her a visitors visa for US, but denied because of the fact she traveled so much and had not resided in Thailand for some years. Even though she was from a good family (mother, anyway) with property and bank accounts, US Consulate shut her (us) down on the spot: "You have no reason to return to Thailand", officer said (probably for the millionth time).

She seemed okay until we got back to the hotel room, then she lost it. Got to me. Said the words: "Ying, I will get you to the US even if I have to marry you."

About five months and some major (major) governmental aggravation later, brought her in on a fiance visa and married her. Started the residency process.

Took me about a month to realize there was no way we would go the distance. Just not enough basis for communication. No matter how westernized she was, was just never going to happen. Gym, mountain biking, running, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, eating... If you can't have an interesting conversation once in a while, it's no-go (for me). Good woman, too. Worked for her own money, went to school, took classes to learn how drive the streets of San Francisco and always honest -- at least until I broke it to her we were going to split.

I stuck it out for three years, then after final immigration interview, she had her green card and I ended it.

After her major tantrum (the first and only), busted up some of my picture frames, shattering the glass all over the floor, a while after, anyway, she knew it was for the best.

In short: That was my last and likely final serious relationship with a Thai woman. Seems like even the smart ones, there is always that cultural curtain...

A very poignant post, as it shows, it isnt just the "country" girls

Can WW please forward me her number and a photo ?

Oh for someone that you did not have to talk too...and looked hot and could do all that exercisy stuff

my sponsor to Thailand suggested exactly that,

having a girlfriend that didnt speak the language, but whose body language spoke for her.

There is a price for that, I know,

and it was worth paying,

every week

************************************

There is something to be said for that: The *simple things in life*. The other gal I almost married, Swiss / Canadian dual citizenship, US Green Card, young advertising professional in San Francisco, serious up-and-comer (now a jet-set exec, think knocks-down at least a half-mill a year), never a dull moment with her. In complete sync, brain and sense of humor-wise. Brilliant, a blast to be around and a hottle. Maybe why that tech billionaire dude (Ellison) scooped her up. (Well, that and I was in jerk phase at the time, her previously enthusiastic adoration ebbed and she became, shall we say, *somewhat disenchanted*.) Pretty sure not too much tech billionaire competition, 'round these parts.

Edited March 26, 2014 by Wordworx

[JLCrab]

No words -- her body said it all ...

[Scarpolo]

isnt it better thay way, at times?

[JLCrab]

isnt it better thay way, at times?

I'm waiting for: It was a dark and stormy night ...

[Scarpolo]

isnt it better thay way, at times?

I'm waiting for: It was a dark and stormy night ...

they are all "dark and stormy"

thats why we like them

[JLCrab]

More original dialog: The airport say-goodbye scene; she threw herself on his shoulder and through the tears managed:

Her: But if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?

Him: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a d_amn.

Edited March 29, 2014 by JLCrab

[Scarpolo]

More original dialog: The airport say-goodbye scene; she threw herself on his shoulder and through the tears managed:

Her: But if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?

Him: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a d_amn.

I take it, the airport in Bkk, is the stage for more, "Thainess?" for the ever moving saga of the Tourist and the Thai girl?

I should have known ~_~

think I will write a book now,

Crab doesnt want Love Novels, but keeps giving scenes away, it'd be a shame not to use them

Edited March 29, 2014 by Scarpolo

[nithisa78]

For both of us, the marriage has been like calling from, God. Sharing life with no other person has so induced me to continue to improve myself, inside and out. Neither of us have ever felt so free and real.....appreciated. If TV had spell checker the world couldn't be more perfect.

[wym]

If TV had spell checker the world couldn't be more perfect.

Chrome + "Google dictionary plug-in"

they are all "dark and stormy"

Like a hurricane, they come in wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your house, car, and all your personal belongings.

[Scarpolo]

If TV had spell checker the world couldn't be more perfect.

Chrome + "Google dictionary plug-in"

they are all "dark and stormy"

Like a hurricane, they come in wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your house, car, and all your personal belongings.

Only if you let them, and were financially unprotected.

I am still standing after two messy divorces

[maurerpablo11111]

The key is to stay in control of a relationship

[NeverSure]

The key is to stay in control of a relationship

[Lukecan]

I'm in love with their culture, the way they care about their family, and how they never forget them. Even bargirls send money back home, its amazing. These people cant be bad, they just cant. Its amazing.

If I find a girl that I'm sure will be faithful towards me, then I'll consider marrying, but after being wth over 20 girls here, I've yet to find a girl I can trust. I carry out various tests by sending messages from fake accounts on TF while she is sleeping with me etc, all of the have failed the test so far. But when I find the one, I will put that ring in her finger.

Edited January 31, 2015 by Lukecan

[kannot]

The phrase do it the "Thai way" comes to mind. Been married to a Thai for 7 years and have a 2-year old daughter. Have lived in Thailand for the last 3 years. Maintain your Western ideals but mix them with the "Thai way" where possible. There are always disagreements but like in any relationship a solution can be found. I have to say that the one thing I really like about Thai's is that they will go into a strop for a day but after that everything is forgotten ... no grudges, no repercussions. Not at all like the "Western way" where we tend to harbor these things and let then get to us. Also be prepared to be second to the Thai family ... this is important to them ... they have been bought up to support their elders unlike the "Western way" which seems to be the opposite.

I dont think so, the Western way is to support YOURSELF

[kannot]

I'm in love with their culture, the way they care about their family, and how they never forget them. Even bargirls send money back home, its amazing. These people cant be bad, they just cant. Its amazing.

If I find a girl that I'm sure will be faithful towards me, then I'll consider marrying, but after being wth over 20 girls here, I've yet to find a girl I can trust. I carry out various tests by sending messages from fake accounts on TF while she is sleeping with me etc, all of the have failed the test so far. But when I find the one, I will put that ring in her finger.

Theyre forced to send money back by their culture of being made to feel they were "lucky" to be born to their parents who were incapable of putting money aside for their own old age.

[wooloomooloo]

If I find a girl that I'm sure will be faithful towards me, then I'll consider marrying, but after being wth over 20 girls here, I've yet to find a girl I can trust. I carry out various tests by sending messages from fake accounts on TF while she is sleeping with me etc, all of the have failed the test so far. But when I find the one, I will put that ring in her finger.

You're doing something wrong, not the girls.

[rabid old goat]

As a single man who has failed in three Thai relationships so far I am probably vastly unqualified to offer anything here. I do know that all the arguments and problems I have had came down to thought processes and interpretation/language and the age old problem of insecurity and jealousy (btw I never cheated). The frustration of dealing with a thought process so different to mine caused me to lose my temper on so many occasions, which of course is a no-no here, further adding flames to the fire. Then followed the sulking which drives me crazy.

I have been single for the last eight months and it has been the most stress free time in the 7 years I have lived here. Maybe I am just not cut out to have an Anglo-Thai relationship. But I keep trying and hope the next one will be different (which is, I believe Einsteins definition of madness, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result).

Bottom line I suppose is that I have to change. The trouble is I know that it won't happen.

To those who have found the answer or the right person, I salute you.

i agree, i have long determined that i do not possess the required skills/mindset to achieve this feat and there is no way that i will ever acquire them.

to those of you who have done so successfully, i too salute you.

Edited January 31, 2015 by rabid old goat

[rabid old goat]

As a single man who has failed in three Thai relationships so far I am probably vastly unqualified to offer anything here. I do know that all the arguments and problems I have had came down to thought processes and interpretation/language and the age old problem of insecurity and jealousy (btw I never cheated). The frustration of dealing with a thought process so different to mine caused me to lose my temper on so many occasions, which of course is a no-no here, further adding flames to the fire. Then followed the sulking which drives me crazy.

I have been single for the last eight months and it has been the most stress free time in the 7 years I have lived here. Maybe I am just not cut out to have an Anglo-Thai relationship. But I keep trying and hope the next one will be different (which is, I believe Einsteins definition of madness, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result).

Bottom line I suppose is that I have to change. The trouble is I know that it won't happen.

To those who have found the answer or the right person, I salute you.

i agree, i have long determined that i do not possess the required skills/mindset to achieve this feat and there is no way that i will ever acquire them.

to those of you who have done so successfully, i too salute you.

i guess too i have become long addicted to a stress free life and am very reluctant to venture out of that cocoon. it is so much simpler just not to take the first steps, to turn around walk away knowing my cocoon will still be intact tomorrow if i just do that. this too is made even easier as when in public if any thai woman does venture to even casually talk to me, a rabid piece of unknown bad news will virtually immediately turn up and somehow admonish her. she will comply and slink away. lost count of the number of times this has happened. not one place but many as i drift around the country. mostly i am not interested enough to offer any retort, just casual conversation without any spark. other times it the aggressive fierce professional human traffickers who are doing the intervening. they are everywhere too. like i said just not worth the hassle.

Edited January 31, 2015 by rabid old goat

[GAS]

or back to (miserable) America (but not so miserable locations as Laramie, Wyoming or areas in & around the Columbia River Gorge on the Oregon side or Seattle, Wa. - actively looking), which needs more negotiating as the wife doesn't (yet) want such a drastic change that could easily be permanent with just once a year vacation trips to Thailand.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Laramie, Wyoming would for sure be the end of your relationship Took my wife there last year as have relatives who live there. Asked her if she cold live there and she looked at me like I was crazy. lol.

Yeah, I figured the much with all the old buildings, sparse open lands & no Asian food, let alone Asians anywhere to be found. But I can't help but to look at the wonderful charm the town holds.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Actually Laramie has pretty good Thai food at Anongs, the Nom Tok Beef is the best I have had just about anywhere...they also have restaurants in Rawlins and Cheyenne, but not as good as the one in downtown Laramie !

[AZBill]

I consider myself a lucky guy. My wife of many years has been a blessing to me. We have our moments but they are few and far between. A relationship with a Thai woman requires a fair degree of patience, especially early on, as she is coming from a very different place than us. I think the best thing we did was to get her out of Thailand for the US and we travel a lot. She has had the freedom to grow and broaden her perspective. Thailand has now become a very narrow and small world to her now.

[Mencken]

We have been together five years. My wife is as lovely as the day we met. She has never expressed serious anger or really much of any anger or aggression. She has never tried any finsncial nonsense. She pays a small bit of our monthly expenses and our travels. If I've blown up at her for dome reason (her lazy, mai pen rai ways usually the root of it), and I apologize she's sats already forgotten. She won't let me ckean the flat ir wash the clothes, even after five years together. She is so lovely and I am really lucky. Everyone that meets her likes her, she's impossible to dislike.

Wife is and slways has been, zero drama. None.

PS wife would love to live in US, Japan, EU or Mongolia. She loves and embraces new adventures. We've talked about moving to US, living in Japan a year and other world options as well as living out of RV in US. She thinks she loves cold and snow, I have my doubts in reality. We have tent camped in cold and even a bit of snow and travrled to best NPs in tbe US.

Modern Thai women are open to travel and adventure. Check Facebook. Your lady from Nakon Nowhere mileage may vary.

Edited February 3, 2015 by Mencken

[ramrod45]

I'm not sure this will pertain to the topic of this post, but in many of the posts, I seem to get the feeling that because there are difficulties with a Thai/Western relationship, i.e. culture and language, men seem much more willing to invest time, effort, understanding, etc. to help the relationship flourish. In comparison, I believe that in the home country, where language and culture are not issues, there are different expectations, and less "effort" in the relationship. Those that come here to live and prefer to not have stress or drama usually are better off remaining single, and I think that is fine and noble in itself. It's similar to many who retire, almost immediately come to Thailand, and then proclaim how the country and people have helped to reduce stress, live a more simple lifestyle, realize that fewer material goods are needed. That has very little to do with Thailand. It has to do with your personal expectations and mentality. While many that get married here seem willing to live in a rural village, expounded on the delights of simplicity in life, they would never choose that lifestyle in their own country because that same lifestyle would be considered poverty, perhaps unsanitary, and socially not acceptable. So, from the successful relationships that I am reading on the posts here, it does seem to me that a key to that overall success is a significant amount of time learning language, culture, explanations, etc. that for the most part, are not done with home country relationships, and perhaps that is part of the reason some find bliss in a relationship here, but were remiss at home. In addition, for a lot of expats, this may be the first time in life they are not working, and so the stress of work, lack of family time, financial issues, timetables, etc. are no longer issues to be faced, and issues that can tear a relationship apart. If the Thai wife works, she maybe away from the home for 10-12 hours a day, six days a week, so you have a retired farang with a LOT of personal free time, with actually minimal relationship time (which many might say is ideal, lol). In other words, the relationship environment I am reading about here often does not match up with those from home, and due to a variety of reasons, success for those who had little luck in the past might be more easily found here. For those that have found happiness, regardless of the reasons, at this stage in most of our lives (assuming the majority of people are close to retirement age) you cannot ask for much more.

Edited February 4, 2015 by ramrod45