Stupid Tourist Stories

[cdnvic]

The discussion on the dumbass taking a cocktail of Viagra/Heartmeds/Bargirl and related stupid things tourists have done brings up an excellent point.. People do often shut their brain off at the bording gate when going on vacation.

Anyone who's been to the interprative centre in Canada's Banff National Park has probably heard 'The Bear Talk' which is a series of cationary tales about how stupid people wind up on Yogi's dinner table.

In the 50's a family was driving into the park on Highway 1. Back then alot of people fed the animals and bears would walk right up to cars begging for food. The mother thought it would be a good idea to get a photo of the bear "kissing" their 4yr old son.

Ever so resourseful, mom reaches into the picnic hamper and takes a jar of honey out. This she proceeds to smear all over junior's face, and then junior's head was stuck out the window, covered in honey, into the hungry bear's face. Dear old dad had the camera ready for when the bear started licking the honey off his son's face.

Needless to say, this story would have had a happier ending if reconstructive surgery had been more advanced at the time.

Any such tales about Thailand, or elsewhere that havent been covered here in the past few months?

cv

[eric1000]

The discussion on the dumbass taking a cocktail of Viagra/Heartmeds/Bargirl and related stupid things tourists have done brings up an excellent point.. People do often shut their brain off at the bording gate when going on vacation.

too many stories and most we dont get to hear about , just that we know that 1000s of farangs every year of all nationalities go home in a coffin ,bodybag or casket from their holiday in thailand. drug

Ods , bike acidents, heart attacks, murderered , traffic acidents . vanished into thin air never to be seen again . i have theory that these disapeared tourists are bumped off for their body parts by rich thais who need a replacement liver or kidneys or some other sales of body parts .

[tutsiwarrior]

I heard about a lunatic that attempted to sing all the 200 versions of 'Louie, Louie' in a karaoke bar in some un-named SE Asian country. He was slaughterd and offered to local gods for good weather and his tattoed skin turned into lampshades...

[chonabot]

Funny as ever Tutsi How can one follow that , heres a tale to bring a tear to the

most cynical eye.

I witnessed a terrible accident/traumatic experience in Patong about 6 years back.

In a bar in Soi Sea Dragon, a few French lads were playing me and a mate at pool, one of the young boys who sold chewing gum/lighters

stopped to watch. He chatized one of the French guys when a shot was missed , the French guy then picked him up in a playful way, tossed him a few feet aboce his head.

The metal fan must have been on full speed, it was a hot day, it sliced through his head like a knife through a melon. He died instantlly , but this was no consolation to his Mother who was in the opposite bar. The 2 chaps fled the scene , I don't know what happened to them.

The sad thing is , it could have been me throwing the kid up, every time I visit the bars , I never take my 5 year old son with me, you never know.....

[sbk]

OK, if we are going to get gruesome, here goes. Stupid tourist partying hard gets into a drunken motorbike accident. Doesn't want to pay for the doctor so takes care of his own wounds while continuing to party. Keeps drinking, drugging, minimal wound cleaning, ends up in the hospital with gangrene and has to have the lower half of his leg amputated.

Or my personal favorite, the guy who jumped off the night ferry from Surat Thani to Koh Phangan because he was high on drugs and thought the police were coming to get him. Luckily for him he was found by a fishing trawler during the night and brought to Koh Phangan, only to jump off the lighthouse there a few days later because "the police were still after him"

[dr_Pat_Pong]

He sounds a real classic sbk. Did he do himself in ?

[huski]

He sounds a real classic sbk. Did he do himself in ?

no, i'm still here...but i really thought the police were after me, sorry about that sbk

[Sick Boy]

He sounds a real classic sbk. Did he do himself in ?

no, i'm still here...but i really thought the police were after me, sorry about that sbk

Superb!!

Remember that time you drove that motorbike off the end of the pier, Huski, then reported it nicked the next day?

Classic

Oh, the halcyon, carefree days on Pha Ngan

[dr_Pat_Pong]

He sounds a real classic sbk. Did he do himself in ?

no, i'm still here...but i really thought the police were after me, sorry about that sbk

Superb!!

Remember that time you drove that motorbike off the end of the pier, Huski, then reported it nicked the next day?

Classic

Oh, the halcyon, carefree days on Pha Ngan

Jeeeez don't tell me that me mate Huski is a shady bugger Whatever next will I hear ?

[Koh_Falang]

Sounds interesting....

Anyone actually got into some real sh*t.... someone come up with the good stories... doesnt matter if they are a bit twisted from the truth... even a good ole penis chopping story wouldnt go astray

[Sick Boy]

I once met this crazy Frenchman who lived on Koh Tao in a small house he built on top of a large rock.

Now this chap was a keen diver and the story goes that on one of his excursions he noticed a beautiful conch shell sitting on the bottom inside a gaping giant clam. Now these things are huge and weigh several hundred pounds. Against all protocol, he reached in to grab the conch and.....wham! The clam snapped shut trapping his hand inside. With only limited air left the Frenchman had one of two choices, drown or.......

So he took out his shark knife strapped to his leg and hacked his hand off just above the wrist.

He now sports a nice shiny hook which he claims is useful for dragging moray eels out of their lairs.

c'est la vie.

[huski]

Against all protocol, he reached in to grab the conch and.....wham! The clam snapped shut trapping his hand inside.

similar to something that happen to me at soi cowboy...i didn't have to cut my hand off, just pay bar.

[Sick Boy]

Against all protocol, he reached in to grab the conch and.....wham! The clam snapped shut trapping his hand inside.

similar to something that happen to me at soi cowboy...i didn't have to cut my hand off, just pay bar.

Brilliant!!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Against all protocol, he reached in to grab the conch and.....wham! The clam snapped shut trapping his hand inside.

similar to something that happen to me at soi cowboy...i didn't have to cut my hand off, just pay bar.

and just as painful Huski...just as painful. The definition of interminable time, is that time between you cummin' and her goin'

[sbk]

Huski, that was you that drove your bike off the end of the pier?? Wow, that was about 10 years ago? Still doing stupid stuff huh?

And sorry, the jumper died on the second go round

[eric1000]

hey there was the german biker travelling in the north he gave the finger to a thai motorist over some disagreement and the thai bloke shot him dead.

then there was a brit guy i met drinking in a bar in karon beach phuket

he used to smoke ganja every evening in his cigs but the supplier had none so he gave him this white powder to sprinkle on his baccy .

he never realised he was smoking heroin but was happy it made him high

works a treat he claimed

[markt]

A friend of mine got in with the wrong crowd in Pattaya. He was living a dream. Girls whenever he wanted, lots of beer, new exciting "friends" etc.

One of his new mates sold him some counterfeit one thousand baht notes. This was only a couple of weeks after they had first become legal tender, so every Thai vendor/shopkeeper was staring at them.

He went on a spending spree down South Ptty, buying items that cost 20-30 baht to reap the change.

He ended up getting caught inside the Marine disco, trying to buy a coke.

His dad had to send him the money to pay the fine. Ouch!

[Sick Boy]

Huski, that was you that drove your bike off the end of the pier?? Wow, that was about 10 years ago? Still doing stupid stuff huh?

You're correct about the time sbk. The bike incident was about 10 years ago. Doubt if it was Huski though, that was me just messing around.

Sorry Huski, don't wanna get you blamed for every crazy stunt.

I take it that you were on the island around that time sbk?

[adjan jb]

hey there was the german biker travelling in the north he gave the finger to a thai motorist over some disagreement and the thai bloke shot him dead.

Actually, he wasn't shot because he gave the finger to a motorist. The Thai guy was after him : they had a disagreement over a drug deal.

[Orion76]

I once met this crazy Frenchman who lived on Koh Tao in a small house he built on top of a large rock.

Now this chap was a keen diver and the story goes that on one of his excursions he noticed a beautiful conch shell sitting on the bottom inside a gaping giant clam. Now these things are huge and weigh several hundred pounds. Against all protocol, he reached in to grab the conch and.....wham! The clam snapped shut trapping his hand inside. With only limited air left the Frenchman had one of two choices, drown or.......

So he took out his shark knife strapped to his leg and hacked his hand off just above the wrist.

He now sports a nice shiny hook which he claims is useful for dragging moray eels out of their lairs.

c'est la vie.

urban legend!

[sbk]

15 years and counting sick boy. Too many stupid tourist stories on this island to even begin counting. Thats what happens when you mix youth, drugs, alcohol and raves on the beach every month!

[peteypie]

Here's a true one about nutter Brits who come to the LOS for their fun. A few weeks ago, I had friends come over from the UK for a visit. While on the plane they got talking to a couple of hippy types who knew Bangkok well. They agreed to stay over on the Kao San Road together for a couple of days to see the sights and then my friends would head down to Ko Chang before heading North to stay with my wife and I. After a week or so, I got a panicky phone call late one night from one of my friends to say that she was in a police station in Bangkok with her boyfriend and the girlfriend of of the guy who made up the 'other' hippy couple (bit confusing but stay with me) The guy was dead in his hotel room on the Kao San Road and the police were under the impression that his girlfriend had murdered and robbed him. What shall I do? My friend asked. After directing them to the Brit Embassy I awaited the next call. It transpired that mister hippy had come to Bangkok to have a huge dragon tattooed on his back. In the UK the tattoo shop had said that they would need at least 8 months to do this safely. In Bangkok, no problem, one week only! So this guy had been in the tattoo parlour every day for a week having this tattoo done. Afterwards he was into the nearest bar drinking Mekong whiskey and eating, by the handful, 'over the counter' pain killers! My friends had arrived back on the Kao San Road to find the girlfriend wandering down the street in a daze. They'd taken her back to the hotel where they found the body of her boyfriend on the bed. The end of this sad tale was when my friends saw the shell shocked girlfriend onto a BA flight to the UK, with her boyfriends body in the cargo hold, on Christmas Day. Sad but true.

[cdnvic]

That one seems to be a mix of stupidity (whiskey/painkillers) and culture clash. In western countries they seem to take an over-cautious approach to alot of things, wheras in Thailand it can be somewhat reckless, compounded by the Thai tendancy to avoid pointing out a problem. Takes a sharp mind to find the balance and it looks like this guy was rather unarmed in this regard from the beginning.

Hope your friends wern't too traumatized.

cv

[Ricardo]

Khun wifey and I met an old friend of hers, an elderly bar-girl in Lamai of old (remember Koh Samui from 15 years ago - fellow dinosaurs ?) who was in tears , because her sometime-boyfriend had gone up to the Big City on business.

While there , he fell into the stupid-farang-licks-poison-off-girl's-tits trap , and was found dead in his guest-house.

So he wasn't able to finance her in buying this beer-bar , really excellent price , sure to be a winner , if only she could borrow a small sum.

But her mother's water-buffalo had recovered.

[eric1000]

related stupid things tourists

some years ago i was staying at the Hotel Hahaha (555) in Pattaya .

onemorning i heard a commotion in the room nextdoor , hollering, shrieks , a fistfight going full blast ,furniture flying about.

So i put on my shorts and mosey around to see what was happening .

On the bed sat a fat elderly German named Hans and a young girl and the manager was thumping a katoey ,hard . Hans had thought he picked up 2 females from the Marine bar . But he was too drunk to notice 1 was a katoey.

Later on i got the full story from the manager , Hans had called him over in the morning

claiming his gold jewelery was missing & after a search found nothing the manager decided the katoey must be guilty but wouldnt admit to thieving the gold.

So he decided to thump the truth out of him .

Finally the katoey owned up and admitted he had hidden the gold in his rectal passage. After a trip to the loo the gold was handed back !! yuk , Hans was happy and the katoey ejected .

He didnt manage to thieve the camera !

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Or Hans' motor cycle

[huski]

Finally the katoey owned up and  admitted he had hidden  the gold in his rectal passage. After a trip to the loo the gold was handed back !! yuk.

maybe i should read thaivisa.com forum after breakfast not during.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Finally the katoey owned up and  admitted he had hidden  the gold in his rectal passage. After a trip to the loo the gold was handed back !! yuk.

maybe i should read thaivisa.com forum after breakfast not during.

That tale ( or is it tail ) was a bit much to swallow with one's breakfast Huski. Control 'em better willya

[megashox]

Or Hans' motor cycle

Would be difficult to hide that up the rectal passage Doc!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Or Hans' motor cycle 

Would be difficult to hide that up the rectal passage Doc!

Not too difficult if he had been well used