Thai girlfriend

[khai59]

Hi, i'm french and i'm 18 almost 19 (in sept), i speak french (as first language) and english, and ive been interested in japanese and japan for years, it really was what i wanted to work about and all in the future, and i think i got pretty good at japanese. I'm at the university and i studied during 1 year at the faculty of english language, didn't like it tho so i've registered for studying japanese next year.

anyway, my "problem" is that i "met" (on a website) 1 year and more than 8 months ago, a thai girl who has quickly become my gf, she is older than me of a few months (she is 19 since march), we talked a lot, everyday since i know her actually, and she is surely the one who knows me better than any1, she studies at thammasat, she and her parents know my parents and so do i.

We are really close and love each other a lot, a few months ago she and her mother decided to come to france to meet me, she came on the 6th (april) and she came back to thailand yesterday night.

I'm seriously brain<deleted> now because it was the best period of my life, i got closer to her mother so she trusts me more, and her father too so everyone is alright with our relationship, i had japanese as goal and that was all i wanted to do about, but since she is gone i don't wanna keep on doing my studies and the only thing i want is to go see her again, now we're gonna keep talking on skype and fb like we used to before she comes, but she and i both hope to meet again soon

she and her mother too have done a lot for me and i know that no one else would have ever done that, she changed my mind and i dont wanna have to leave her just to follow my old dream which is to go to japan and all because i know she wouldn't follow me and it would be hard for her

so i want to drop out and work for few months just to make some money, then i want to go to thailand and idk what next....... what could i do ? and in the worst case i could get a degree over there so i would have something and time to get a good level in thai

i really don't know what to do so im asking u for advice, thank u

and sorry too if its not in the right category

Edited April 22, 2014 by metisdead
Profanity edited out of post.

[pbay]

she and her mother too have done a lot for me and i know that no one else would have ever done that,

How much did they charge you?

so i want to drop out and work for few months just to make some money, then i want to go to thailand and idk what next....... what could i do ?

I would advise you to stay in France and keep on with your studies until you get a degree, Also do Chinese instead of Japanese because that will help you more in the future. You are young and it seems infatuated with this girl but is it worth changing your whole life for?

Edited April 22, 2014 by pbay

[Totster]

Are you sure there is no one better to ask for help than on an internet forum ? Can your parents advise you ?

totster

[choochoo]

idiot written all over this. 18 and want to work in thailand...............lol. Of course im assuming thai wages!

[metisdead]

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[HeavyDrinker]

Clear as mud....

Have you ever actually met this girl?

[khai59]

yes she came back to thailand yesterday

[seajae]

18 almost 19, that means you do not have a real lot of worldly experienece, the last thing you need is to be locked into a relationship. It would be a lot smarter to continue your studies so you have secured your future, see how the relationship pans out. There is a good bet you will not be the only one in her sights, sorry but this is what thai girls are known for although this could be different. You are simply too young to think rationally about this, at your age most guys get caught up because they let their little head rule their big head. You need to step back and let this settle a bit, rushing into things because your hormones are jumping all over the place will not be your best bet, talking to your parents might be a good choice at this stage.

[zeichen]

Don't go to Thailand and expect to make any money. Without a degree or any actual skills you will end up broke. A degree in Thailand and 10 baht will get you a bag of chips and that is about it. I know it is hard to have a long distance relationship especially since you have no definite plan of how to live in Thailand. You are so young so probably don't see how silly you are being. Finish your degree, but don't major in a language. Major in something that can actually get you a job overseas. Studying Japanese is as valuable as any other language so ignore the pro chinese people. Take a deep breath and just keep moving forward and don't worry about your relationship. You will ruin your life and your girlfriend's if you just head over without a plan. Let her finish her degree and start her career before you make life altering decisions.

[Costas2008]

OP, this is called puppy love.

I feel and sympathise with you, but you still too young to know what a bitch life is.

Your main goal for now is to get your degree.

That will equip you to face your future life and give you the means to enjoy it.

Then you can think of relocating or getting married if you still love her and she loves you.

Don't rush things, you will regret it in the future.

Edited April 22, 2014 by Costas2008

[meom]

At 18 you’re still young enough to learn the hard way so same as you suggest try to get some money, party until it runs out and report back here for further advice.

[tullynagardy]

Any chance of of a pic of her in her wee white University Uniform? Intergral to the conversation, not me being weird at all

[rwdrwdrwd]

You're still young, it wouldn't be the end of the world to defer Uni, take a year out, see how it goes. You can always go back to Uni if it does not - since you're intending to shift programs anyway, you wouldn't be wasting any completed years.

The main issue is that you're going to struggle to prolong a stay in Thailand if it does go well, since you are unlikely to find work. Teaching English is perhaps the most accessable job here but you're not a native speaker and do not have a degree - you will therefore struggle to find work doing that. There are other ways of making money, but anything legal that pays remotely well will require solid work experience which you have not mentioned (understandable at your age).

You only live once :-)

Edited April 22, 2014 by rwdrwdrwd

[Datebayo]

Dude, don't listen to the pessimistic and disgruntled oldies + <deleted>mongers here. I have a friend who was in love with a Thai girl when he was on an exchange program in Mahidol uni, there he met her. He wanted to be with her, so he rolled in to an international program in the same uni and got a bachelor degree after 2 years and a masters after 2 more. He was happy as , living practically 4 years with a student visa in Thailand with his gf. Now they are married and have a lovely daughter. Oh and he was 20 when he started, so not much older than you are now.

Yes, you are young, have still much to learn and this is puppy love but puppy love is the best, and it's the best time of your life, so enjoy it and don't think too much, go and pursue your dreams and desires. Of course you need to keep an eye for the pitfalls of having a relationship with Thai women, but since she is still a student in a decent uni and you even met her parents AND your parents met her parents, seems alright and you have a thumbs up from me.

Just hit me up with an PM if you want some info on the international programs in the uni's in Bangkok.

Edited April 22, 2014 by metisdead
Inappropriate language removed.

[baneko]

Get into an oil company offshore. You will have money to live here and with a rotation you wont have trouble with visas.

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[arjunadawn]

How do you learn from others advise and experience without having to actually make crumby decisions yourself?

How do you employ the wisdom of others when the advise is contrary to your heart, mind, or passion?

Well, it is hard as hell, little brother. I think it is a fair bet that she will not be the one beside you in bed in 50 years. I say this not as a defeatist, rather our lives take many impossible and frequently unimagined turns. How we later wind up where we are confounds many of us. Having said this, it is romantic and marvelous to throw caution to the wind and follow Passion's entreaty. These are the moments in love that will surely build your heart, enable your high points, and mold you into the man of your tomorrow. It is intoxicating to follow love and desire.

Yet one of the most foolish things we can do is change or cancel a major life choice for a partner, unless we are married and "locked" into love. When people forsake college, great opportunities, or major life choices for "love," they frequently lose both because resentment seeds subtly in your denied heart and places a burden on her.

Try both roads; if you love her or want her then you are old enough to both realize you are young enough to wait, and to manage a long distance relationship while you build for both a foundation. But do not reject her because you previously wanted Japanese, or Chinese. Your heart can manage itself better than your fantasies. Be surprised by life, but live it well.

Edited April 22, 2014 by arjunadawn

[TobiasML]

I can only agree with some of the posters. Do not stop your study. You might be able to do an exchange program in Thailand to see how you like it. Furthermore there are more and more Japanese companies coming to Thailand, therefore it might be an advantage to know this language. It is hard enough to get a job with a degree. Without one it is currently nearly impossible. Maybe you can start to study Thai as a second language at your university. Currently you are too young, in my opinion, to make such live changing decisions. Wait a bit. I can understand your feelings but I would explore the options you have. In my opinion to drop out of university is not one of them.

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[khai59]

thanks to all ur comments, i'll think about that and leave a message when i have more infos

[wprime]

I think your story is cute, your girlfriend sounds lovely. Don't listen to these guys, they're a negative bunch who don't know how to live! I say go for it!

They're right about one thing though, the relationship will likely fail. Beyond your girl you don't have anything in Thailand and a relationship where one person depends on the other one for happiness is doomed to fail. That being said, you'll get a great experience out of it, one which I'm sure you'll look back upon with happiness.

Edited April 22, 2014 by wprime

[choochoo]

What worries me is op parents.......................lol. No way can they be in favor of this.

[roguewo]

If it were me;

I'd put my bits in a sperm bank and get a snipe snipe. You can't turn on the flood gates at will, with this program, and turn them off again too.

I'd get a job with an off-shore oil company, as another has suggested, and check out both countries.

Japanese women are hot. The people are respectful, very hard working and honest. There is a high suicide rate. I have about 40 Japanese friends whom I chat with regularly.

Thai women are hot. The culture is dysfunctional. A small percentage of the population is fair and honest.

I have a large tight family and a few friends, mostly women. The smart Thai guys here are very careful with their brethren, especially when they've been drinking.

I'd enjoy myself and develop my career until about 35, then settle in.

Get a mentor, or three! Asking questions like this, on an open forum, is akin to sending your bank details into the abyss.

[Patsycat]

Ah, Bless. Young, first love...

I remember when......

Sorry, having one of my senior backtracking moments, when my thighs were firm and my breasts pert, and he had a six pack to die for,

Edited April 22, 2014 by Patsycat

[sdanielmcev]

Question: Will your parents be paying for your school?

I am what you would consider an old fogie, and one thing I've learned is regrets are a waste of humanity. If you can go to Thailand for a while to scope out the situation, do it! Maybe go to a school here.

[JoeThePoster]

my "problem" is that i "met" (on a website)

Camfrog?

[chrisinth]

OP, as others have suggested, at 18 yo you are young enough to bounce back if something goes wrong. If (and it is a big if) you have financial support and you are still interested in learning another language, why not get an Ed visa and enroll on a Japanese/Chinese/Mongolian language course here? Give it a year.

After that time, you will know what true love is about, you will see your GF in her natural habitat, and if you still feel the same about each other. At your age (no offence) this may not make sense to you.

The big problem with this course of action is, if you both remain together after the year, what are you going to do work-wise? Still, that is just another small hurdle to overcome in this experience that we call life....................

Good luck whatever you decide.

[raro]

Not sure if this works in France but here's what a German guy I know did : he enrolled in a university for home studies, moved to Pattaya and did his tests at the German embassy. Finished his studies and moved back to Germany to work.

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[ttthailand]

This girl is Thai thus she values money, it is in there blood ! If you can not support her and provide a good life she will loose face with her friends and family and leave you for someone else. You need to have a very good plan if you are thinking about coming to Thailand to be with her. Your plan needs to include a way to stay in the country (visa) and a way to make a living. 65,000 baht a month minimum but better around 100,000 a month. If you can not do this then stay home and finish you degree. Just keep in touch with her and perhaps go for a two week visit when you have time. Best to slow down and try not to love this girl too much. Chances are you or her will move on to someone else after a few months or a year anyhow.

[seajae]

Ah, Bless. Young, first love...

I remember when......

Sorry, having one of my senior backtracking moments, when my thighs were firm and my breasts pert, and he had a six pack to die for,

back then if someone had a 6 pack to die for it would have been VB or Jim Beam & coke but thats in Australia ;-)

[sdanielmcev]

Ah, Bless. Young, first love...

I remember when......

Sorry, having one of my senior backtracking moments, when my thighs were firm and my breasts pert, and he had a six pack to die for,

A six pack of Budweiser? (Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

[Scarpolo]

Any chance of of a pic of her in her wee white University Uniform? Intergral to the conversation, not me being weird at all

spoken like the sleaziest of all lawyers everywhere