good friend cheated by lady-what should/could be done?

[rhodie]

"They have offered to pay back and more ..."

Her family want to pay the money back! What is the problem? No pleasing some.

[SaintLouisBlues]

You could begin by not referring to her as a "lady".

[AdamRich]

Hustlers are supposed to hustle. There will always be more suckers and always be more hustlers. Your cousin is right. Let it go. Hopefully experience was his teacher.

[ggt]

You have done your civic duty already...not your problem...police are likely in on the crimes already...do as your cousin request and just drop it...for your own safety and peace of mind...

[Absolut]

Rule number one....

NEVER give large amounts of money or gifts...no matter how sad the story.

This is Thailand....never forget.

Agree completely but it's not just LOS things like this occur in.

This week on the news in Aus was the story of a woman in Sydney who got over 2 million $Aud from men via online dating sites.

There really is only 1 rule to follow, never send money, ever. That way you'll never get scammed.

[Jimbolai]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

It sucks I know to be duped like this. But there really is little you can do. The woman's evidently hardened and won't give up without a fight, however you try to retaliate, which would get you into a farang vs. Thai situation, never pleasant. So think: is it worth it?

As your cousin seems to see the matter, basically it's an expensive lesson learned. Good attitude! Is he dumb? Now, no. If it happens again then, yes. Which it probably won't. And look at the positive. He actually got off the ride before a major crash (like the guy who did himself in).

Like they say time heals. Take it easy for a month - play stuff on the internet, keep up with the coup, do not desperately rebound to the next babe who presents herself - and the whole deal will soon be a speck on the rearview mirror.

Thank you,,, I completley agree, best advice yet, however, others think she should be exposed before she can ruin other life's. Like that austalian's.

The thai/farang situation does not bother him in the slightest ,we have already consulted both them and lawyer, but he seem's very concerned about 'doing right thing" and does not want her sent to jail .He actually blames thai society for what he say's causes them to have to do this.

And I do see his point on this.

Anyway, thanks for good advice.

Well, like Shakespeare said "Thai women would not be wolves if farang men were not sheep". I know, I had no idea Shakespeare had been here myself.

Anyway, if you knew for sure you can stop her from harming others in future, go ahead and do the right thing. But you don't. And there's no call for you or your cousin to mess up your lives in order to try. Now, if you're telling me that you're convinced by a local lawyer you'll win for sure in court (you'll be paying him for the privilege, right?) well then there's this bridge over the Chaophaya my gf's family owns...

You want to fix Thai society? Well, again Shakespeare: "The fault, dear farang, is not in Thai society, But in ourselves, that we keep getting screwed. For, A needy man will surely meet someone to scratch his need and make him pay".

Darn, the things you can learn here. Shakespeare, he was in Pattaya? This is truly a classic worth copying and pasting again and again.

[Strangebrew]

Ever heard of Karma she will get the wrong guy and end up dead so why should you worry?

[sixthelement]

Have you ever tried to treat this kind of girls like shit?

It's amazing the amount of respect you get in return.

They would open up and tell you all the filthy crap they ve been piling up.

No pop psychology here just facts.

On the other hand, average Thai girls are to be treated with utmost respect. If you raise the tone of your voice, she s already gone.

Off topic, but just wanted to share.

[steve73]

Was he forced at gun/knife point to hand over money? If not he gave it voluntarily.... (Being stupid and/or gullible does not make it a crime.) His lady has done nothing legally wrong as I see it from the info you've provided....

So why offer to refund the money - perhaps to stop you blowing open her scheme, and prevent her scoring from other stupid fools?

Will your lawyer work for a share of money recovered, or does he required payment up-front? (Perhaps he also sees you as even more gullible?)

So you want to do what's right (morally - in western eyes perhaps), and prevent others for falling "under her spell". Fine, but you/he will never be able to visit Thailand again (without carefully watching your back at all times).... And for every one of these "ladies" that get's taken out of the game at least 2 or 3 more will pop up to fill their place - and there's a never ending supply of gullible fools queuing up to get relieved.

Best simply to get on with your/his life and consider this a valuable lesson learned.

[Tchooptip]

The money is gone , its sad there will be no happy ending to this all to familiar tale of woe. He will not listen until he is broke and alone again.

wrong - she her family has offered to pay all back because they fear us going to police.

One of us demanded a large amount( more than was taken) and they said they would pay it in return for our silence. Yet,even now, she plead's poverty to all her sponcer's .She certainly know's how to play the game.

She and other's will most certainly go to jail according to the lawyer.

Her mother even has a record.And also her father!

My friend will never be broke. He is a man of mean's. He could use this to his advantage if he was not such a nice person.

But for him it's not really all about money.

One of us demanded a large amount( more than was taken) and they said they would pay it in return for our silence...Thrilling

One of us ! From the 3 musketeers ? ,

[arminbkk]

From the OP: "I am poor thai girl, I want good life, I am not working girl, I just need a little money to support my family ,or cure myself of this "sickness" that I have ( the people who checked her out said this sickness is invented-), can you please help me so we can be together, I just want to be a good wife and mother,or I will have no other option other than to sell my body ( or kill myself)".

I can usually spot a gold digger fairly quickly.

I appreciate that the OP's cousin found all this out afterward, but anyway, as soon as of the words above come up,

or mention of money/support etc or indication thereof, my feet are already moving.

I assume when OP says "soi 11" he is talking about Sukhumvit soi 11?

That's a red flag right there.

[Dutchbike]

I know an acengy where you can hire this guy.......

[AnotherOneAmerican]

You're misunderstanding the point of AnotherOneAmerican's reply.

He's not insulting your cousin, simply being realistic. Thai prostitutes, or manipulators, if you'd prefer that term in this case, prey upon the desperation of under-sexed, marginalised, often sociapathic western men. Why do you think the industry is so huge and that these scams are so prevalent?

Thank you Kenny,

Thailand is just like Disneyland, the rides are exciting and great fun, but they aren't free and you might need to wait in line a while for your turn.

Edited May 31, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[NoshowJones]

MOD, I have a suggestion, how about starting a pinned column or segment just for all

those farang-Thai wife/girlfriend woes stories? that way any one who's looking to unload

or seek advice can go directly to that section...

It's a good point Ezzra, but only speaking for myself here, I am happy to have the same subjects come up on Thaivisa from time to time, because you get different answers and it can make for very interesting reading.

[NoshowJones]

Rule number one....

NEVER give large amounts of money or gifts...no matter how sad the story.

This is Thailand....never forget.

Your first sentence I agree with, but your second?? Do you think this only happens in Thailand?

[NoshowJones]

I would give her a taste of her own medicine and extort her for all she's got 555

that's what some of us think- but boy, she really would be in trouble. Apart from huge scandle the time my lawyer said she and others would spend in jail seem's far,far too harsh.

You are far too softhearted Hermes. If it's not about the money, let her go to jail, som man na.

[supashot]

Yeah right, a very "good man" dating girls with 20 years difference... Obviously we don't have the same values of good man or Thailand makes you loose all commun sense?

Another one bite the dust!

[ronthai]

I would try and go for number 3, TELL THE WORLD, put her to shame, loose face and everything.

I wonder if there is a website that solely focusses on making the identities publicly known of (Thai) scammers (proof needed, not just, she stole from me).

Would that be possible or could one expect lawsuits? Of course whom ever would operate the website, should live outside of Thailand, little safety matter.

Edited May 31, 2014 by ronthai

[Yhimlamai]

Rule number one....

NEVER give large amounts of money or gifts...no matter how sad the story.

This is Thailand....never forget.

Your first sentence I agree with, but your second?? Do you think this only happens in Thailand?

I mention Thailand because he is living in Thailand.

It happens all over the world...

[supashot]

"soi 11 where she seem's very popular" do we need to hear more?

[supashot]

Rule number one....

NEVER give large amounts of money or gifts...no matter how sad the story.

This is Thailand....never forget.

I would say never let a guy in need of affection alone in Bangkok! Everything under the belt would take over his brain!

[supashot]

Rule number one....

NEVER give large amounts of money or gifts...no matter how sad the story.

This is Thailand....never forget.

I would say never let a guy in need of affection alone in Bangkok! Everything under the belt would take over his brain!

[marko kok prong]

Op you mentioned she was dealing in illegal substances,this may mean she has connections to some very nasty people indeed,i would just walk away from this for your own safety.

[Hermes100]

I would give her a taste of her own medicine and extort her for all she's got 555

that's what some of us think- but boy, she really would be in trouble. Apart from huge scandle the time my lawyer said she and others would spend in jail seem's far,far too harsh.

You are far too softhearted Hermes. If it's not about the money, let her go to jail, som man na.

But I visit people in Jail here and other part's of Thailand.

The conditions are aweful.

I know what she did,,, and is still doing, is very wrong and mean's she is very bad.

Look what apparently that poor australian did to himself.

I wonder what his family would say.

And it's simply wrong to deceive people like this.

The lawyer advised us she ( and many surrouding her) could be looking at a really large sentences based purely upon her sms's alone.

He,discussed this with agency that conducted investigation and pointed out that many people she was sending sms's to were known/suspected criminal's also dealing in illicit item's. I doubt they were social sms's .

Thus making her look far more guilty and liable to a really long sentence.

I wish we could just get her to stop without the need for such harsh prison sentence and the scandle and shame it would cause all her ' fiancee's" .

I cannot help slighlty agreeing with my friend who say's it's what she had to do to surivive and if this nation had it act together she would not have to do this.

[wineman]

Mind your own business.

[ttthailand]

If possible Find out the girls passwords to her FB accounts and send to her sponsors. Don't get into detail just tell them it is in their interest to view and leave the conclusions to them. Do this in such a way that they can not contact you in the future and they don't know who sent. You have then taken your revenge and stopped this woman from collecting from these guys.

But be aware that your revenge might come back to haunt you. Be careful as dishonest people know other dishonest people....

[Hermes100]

Op you mentioned she was dealing in illegal substances,this may mean she has connections to some very nasty people indeed,i would just walk away from this for your own safety.

sincerely-thanks advice- as some people who know me personaly already know -I do not walk away from trouble-never when it involves a good friend/person/cause- I walk toward's it.

I will not boast about how many criminal's have clashed with me here ( both foreign and local) over the years, sending me threat's, men to my door, etc, bothers me not at all---- and I am still alive and many are now sitting in jail, or on wanted list,etc.

Thaivisa once did a whole story on this- but I will not disclose more detail's.

Yes, they may well get me in the end.

This girls's mother has already said this- but it will not change the work I have already done .

My visit's to jails here are known to many embassy's and the action's/arrest's that have resulted in the information that I have gained from those I visited and have passed on have taken quite a few nasty people off the street's- yet, I am still alive.

Plus I have helped several people avoid long sentences that they were facing and innocent off.

Criminal's do not concern me in the slightest .Looking other way and allowing crime to happen causing people misery does.

Crime exist's because people fear what will happen to them. That is almost like assisting the criminal.

But thanks for advice, and please excuse mild boast.

[Hermes100]

Yeah right, a very "good man" dating girls with 20 years difference... Obviously we don't have the same values of good man or Thailand makes you loose all commun sense?

Another one bite the dust!

yes, she will bite the dust-very much so,,,

[NoshowJones]

I would give her a taste of her own medicine and extort her for all she's got 555

that's what some of us think- but boy, she really would be in trouble. Apart from huge scandle the time my lawyer said she and others would spend in jail seem's far,far too harsh.

You are far too softhearted Hermes. If it's not about the money, let her go to jail, som man na.

But I visit people in Jail here and other part's of Thailand.

The conditions are aweful.

I know what she did,,, and is still doing, is very wrong and mean's she is very bad.

Look what apparently that poor australian did to himself.

I wonder what his family would say.

And it's simply wrong to deceive people like this.

The lawyer advised us she ( and many surrouding her) could be looking at a really large sentences based purely upon her sms's alone.

He,discussed this with agency that conducted investigation and pointed out that many people she was sending sms's to were known/suspected criminal's also dealing in illicit item's. I doubt they were social sms's .

Thus making her look far more guilty and liable to a really long sentence.

I wish we could just get her to stop without the need for such harsh prison sentence and the scandle and shame it would cause all her ' fiancee's" .

I cannot help slighlty agreeing with my friend who say's it's what she had to do to surivive and if this nation had it act together she would not have to do this.

You seem a good guy Hermes, but your last sentence is rubbish. In my book, it is wrong to scam money or anything from ordinary decent people, it is the lowest of the low, and is nothing to do with Thailand getting it's act together as you say.

Look at girls from poor families in Issan, or anywhere else, who go to work in the bars for example, to provide for them, or because the husbands or boyfriends have left them with kids to bring up.

I have a lot of sympathy for them, but your case is very different. She deserves to go to jail for a long time.

[BlackJack]

Hermes. The moneys gone so forget it. You did your best by warning your friend/cousin but like countless others wouldn't listen. You could have shown him the countless similar stories on this forum. Your post will be a good warning for others be content with that. I hope I don't meet her I'm always in Soi 11 when in BKK.

Chees ToneG

The money maybe gone but she has assets that can be seized and you can get something back

These girls continue to get away with it because they are never dragged into court

So word gets around how easy it is

The beat goes on

Once the word gets around that some have gone to court then this will spread and hopefully this kind of scamming will be reduced

But the plaintiff needs to do something instead of brushing it off