How to Wai properly - as suggested by a Thai.

[tpazzi]

I started wai-ing in Phuket years ago when I'd walk by a massage shop and the women would call out: "wilkoom, massage!" Even though I had no intention of getting one, I'd always smile and say "thank you" as I always do to hawkers when I just want to get by them without a hassle. One day I added a wai to it and was surprised by how the women responded. They immediately stopped selling and all wai-ed me back. It gave me enough time to pass by and escape the selling zone and everybody ended up smiling afterwards.

Now I pretty much wai anytime I say "cup". It invariably elicits either a smile or a grin on their part which gives me one as well. Personally, I find this to be very cool and its one of the many little things about the Thai's that I love.

I fall into the habit so deeply here that on trips to other Asian countries I often find myself bringing my hands up to my chest before I realize what I'm about to do.

Yes, I'm sure I look a bit silly, and I likely don't quite get the elbows right. But it costs nothing and seems to make people genuinely happy which always gives me a positive boost in return.

Regards,

-tom

Wish I knew who first said: "If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine."

[David48]

Gee I'd give it to the one on the left.

Form an orderly queue please ...

(I've run out likes ... again)

[Benmart]

Should be made compulsory viewing for fat old Sexpats that run round 'waiing' everyone in sight in a vain attempt to show tourists their 'Thainess" at every turn...

I prefer not tell people what they should do. Suggest...perhaps sometimes.

I prefer to leave advocating compulsory conduct to those with a compulsion to do so.

I prefer not to call people derogatory names because of their waist size or because of their age or because of their private behaviors.

I prefer not to assume peoples behaviors are due to some form vanity.

I am certainly not a saint. I stumble and sometimes forget to Live and Let Live.

I stay busy trying to keep my own house in order.

I prefer to read, laugh and move on.

[dao16]

I wai to the immigration bloke doing me visa,that's about it,i have done it at the temple the few times i have gone,but otherwise i don't,the most pathetic thing is westerners wai-ing to other westererners.

The immigration bloke and elders I will initiate the wai,

I have been taught to always reply to a wai with a wai..... however I was taught 3 levels, not 2 as Miss Mod said. The chest one without bowing the head to respond to kids wais, thumbs about at your chin for most people, and the thumbs to eyebrows for monks.

For those that don't wai, how do you feel back home when you extend your hand for a handshake and it is brushed aside or coldly ignored?

Yeah, I never got the "I don't wai" people. It is just the Thai way of greeting, etc. Just like a handshake (and just like with the wai, I have actually had to teach students in another country how to shake hands, since they always did the "dead fish" handshake. It was important as they were going to study in the West).

I think the biggest one is not to wai kids or dogs or just random people on the street. The first one in the video looks like the "lap wai" (gather wais) one to me, which is when someone of lower status to you wais you and you are just acknowledging it. It is what I was instructed to do for groups of students wai'ing me....can't wai each one....you just do a subdued one like the first one in the video.

Anyway, figuring this stuff out just helps you fit in a little bit better--doesn't mean you have sold your soul.

[ATF]

Creepy another one of those blokes who thinks they can identify people's origin by facial types and skin color. Went out in the 1930's. Some German doctor tried it. No luck.

thailiketoo I disagree a little.

One thing for sure ... ATF has a perfect right to express his opinion.

I may not agree with it, but I defend his right to express it.

I'm the sort of guy who can have an impassioned debate with someone who I totally disagree with over a few beers and still walk away with respect for him.

I have a mate here on the Form who I completely disagree with on one subject, yet total agreeance on another subject. You simply have to find points of commonality.

If I probe deeper with ATF, I might discover that he loves motorbikes ... as I do.

I wai when I think it's appropriate or I believe it's expected, but I don't go on a crusade.

As Westerners, we or we don't wai ... up to us.

.

The one big problem with falung men in Thailand is they learn Thai and Thai customs from women not men so they end up speaking and acting like a woman. The comments I have made are accurate but please feel free to ignore them as insane ramblings at your pleasure.

David you know you can always find me in the bikers forum. Mod doesn't come close to my Ducati. You should get to Bira more often and see some real quality sex objects. 55555555

[carter1882]

I wonder what sort of life people must lead here who never wai. In my life i would have found it impossible not to have wai-ed whether it was respectful, in thanks, in apology or even facetiously for comic effect. In my job i taught thousands of Thais as well as foreigners to wai correctly. One wonders what some of the non wai-ers on here would think of a Thai who never shook hands or greeted with a kiss as might be appropriate in their home countries.

[thailiketoo]

I'm curious.

Exactly how do you know for a fact their origin or heritage?

How does an 'Isaan Wai' vary from say a 'Central Thailand Wai'?

As for 'Ugly' ... beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What to you view as beautiful ... mirror images do not count ...

David I've been here so long I can just about say which village they come from. Mod obviously has a falung boyfriend and the other girl is her super ugly friend. Thai men wouldn't give Mod a second look. Wais are the same as handshakes, many different types including Freemason wais. These are subservient little girl's wais. Ask a Thai who they think is beautiful no need to ask me.

Creepy another one of those blokes who thinks they can identify people's origin by facial types and skin color. Went out in the 1930's. Some German doctor tried it. No luck.

thailiketoo I disagree a little.

One thing for sure ... ATF has a perfect right to express his opinion.

I may not agree with it, but I defend his right to express it.

I'm the sort of guy who can have an impassioned debate with someone who I totally disagree with over a few beers and still walk away with respect for him.

I have a mate here on the Form who I completely disagree with on one subject, yet total agreeance on another subject. You simply have to find points of commonality.

If I probe deeper with ATF, I might discover that he loves motorbikes ... as I do.

I wai when I think it's appropriate or I believe it's expected, but I don't go on a crusade.

As Westerners, we or we don't wai ... up to us.

.

ATF has told you that he can tell where a lady is from based on her appearance. That is racial stereotyping. He wrote, " I can just about say which village they come from." "and the other girl is her super ugly friend." That is negative racial stereotyping.

If you want to continue a discussion about racial stereotyping go right ahead but count me out. If you want to listen to his crap about how he thinks Issan women are ugly; be my guest. In Germany there was also a description of a racial type as dark skinned (swarthy) and hairy. Some Germans thought beauty or purity were possessed only by light skinned people. In Germany it was big noses in Thailand it is flat noses. See the similarity?

Edited June 11, 2014 by thailiketoo

[David48]

I wonder what sort of life people must lead here who never wai. In my life i would have found it impossible not to have wai-ed whether it was respectful, in thanks, in apology or even facetiously for comic effect. In my job i taught thousands of Thais as well as foreigners to wai correctly. One wonders what some of the non wai-ers on here would think of a Thai who never shook hands or greeted with a kiss as might be appropriate in their home countries.

As a teacher of wai ... how did you rate the accuracy of the YouTube in the OP?

BTW ... blame me ... I started all this.

[NeilSA1]

I wonder what sort of life people must lead here who never wai. In my life i would have found it impossible not to have wai-ed whether it was respectful, in thanks, in apology or even facetiously for comic effect. In my job i taught thousands of Thais as well as foreigners to wai correctly. One wonders what some of the non wai-ers on here would think of a Thai who never shook hands or greeted with a kiss as might be appropriate in their home countries.

As a teacher of wai ... how did you rate the accuracy of the YouTube in the OP?

BTW ... blame me ... I started all this.

Well, up until post #40, everyone seemed happy and relaxed with the topic, I was pleasantly surprised, but thereafter ................

[Spaniel]

Good info.

[thailiketoo]

I wonder what sort of life people must lead here who never wai. In my life i would have found it impossible not to have wai-ed whether it was respectful, in thanks, in apology or even facetiously for comic effect. In my job i taught thousands of Thais as well as foreigners to wai correctly. One wonders what some of the non wai-ers on here would think of a Thai who never shook hands or greeted with a kiss as might be appropriate in their home countries.

As a teacher of wai ... how did you rate the accuracy of the YouTube in the OP?

BTW ... blame me ... I started all this.

Well, up until post #40, everyone seemed happy and relaxed with the topic, I was pleasantly surprised, but thereafter ................

So you thought post #36, "I did not watch the video and don't care how the world views my actions..

i dont care what youre going to.say i wont read it..just believe what i believe. And though hell why not share with the smaller brained people ;)" was happy and relaxed?

[carter1882]

The video represents a modern way to wai that is more akin to how people do it on television with the nose touching the tips of the fingers so as not to hide the face. When i did TV <television not thai visa> shows i wai-ed like that as i was told to do that. But i wouldnt wai like that myself in most situations. I taught four levels of wai, the one between the eyebrows as depicted on the video for monks, thumbnails on the end of the nose for elders, thumbs just under the chin for social equals with a slight nod and hands flat on the chest returning a wai to younger people. I always made it clear that these were guidelines from the Thai ministry of education. I have been presented to members of the royal family many times and always find it interesting that this is not an occasion to wai. And once i met Mom Tao the then head of the bank of thailand , i wai ed and he offered his hand, then i offered my hand and he wai ed......oh well.

[thejcb]

Being older I rarely "wai" as age dictates its not required, but I do and have when the situation requires it.

There are those that will say "why you are not Thai" , and thats their decision but for me I think its respectful and demonstrates you know its respectful in the right circumstances, those that go around and "wai" to a waitress or just about anyone just look stupid in my opinion as it demonstrates they really dont understand what they are doing.

I have even seen them wai'ing the tarts in the tart bars. How stupid can you get ?

[marko kok prong]

I wonder what sort of life people must lead here who never wai. In my life i would have found it impossible not to have wai-ed whether it was respectful, in thanks, in apology or even facetiously for comic effect. In my job i taught thousands of Thais as well as foreigners to wai correctly. One wonders what some of the non wai-ers on here would think of a Thai who never shook hands or greeted with a kiss as might be appropriate in their home countries.

Well done David,you have now got the more Thai than Thai brigade out in force,i am sure they will be regaling us with story's of how they wander around in sarong's munching on grasshoppers,very soon.

Edited June 11, 2014 by marko kok prong

[David48]

Well done David,you have now got the more Thai than Thai brigade out in force,i am sure they will be regaling us with story's of how they wander around in sarong's munching on grasshoppers,very soon.

Hey ... don't shoot the messenger ... As for grasshoppers ...

OH ... sarongs are so 2013 ... it's Fisherman Pants in 2014.

[ATF]

ATF has told you that he can tell where a lady is from based on her appearance. That is racial stereotyping. He wrote, " I can just about say which village they come from." "and the other girl is her super ugly friend." That is negative racial stereotyping.

If you want to continue a discussion about racial stereotyping go right ahead but count me out. If you want to listen to his crap about how he thinks Issan women are ugly; be my guest. In Germany there was also a description of a racial type as dark skinned (swarthy) and hairy. Some Germans thought beauty or purity were possessed only by light skinned people. In Germany it was big noses in Thailand it is flat noses. See the similarity?

FYI Mr PC All Thai Airways flight crew are taught what to expect from different nationalities and I would expect other airlines do it too. The Brits want booze the Americans talk too loud etc. etc. Stereotypes exist because they are usually accurate. I am not trying to create a master race just stating facts and never once did I mention noses or skin color. Lots of Issan girls have very pale skin or is that not PC also?

I really liked the post about wai-ing dogs (the four legged variety) I think it could catch on big time. I'm not joking. Thais love things like that.

My wife taught our dog to wai.

Edited June 11, 2014 by ATF

[thailiketoo]

ATF has told you that he can tell where a lady is from based on her appearance. That is racial stereotyping. He wrote, " I can just about say which village they come from." "and the other girl is her super ugly friend." That is negative racial stereotyping.

If you want to continue a discussion about racial stereotyping go right ahead but count me out. If you want to listen to his crap about how he thinks Issan women are ugly; be my guest. In Germany there was also a description of a racial type as dark skinned (swarthy) and hairy. Some Germans thought beauty or purity were possessed only by light skinned people. In Germany it was big noses in Thailand it is flat noses. See the similarity?

FYI Mr PC All Thai Airways flight crew are taught what to expect from different nationalities and I would expect other airlines do it too. The Brits want booze the Americans talk too loud etc. etc. Stereotypes exist because they are usually accurate. I am not trying to create a master race just stating facts and never once did I mention noses or skin color. Lots of Issan girls have very pale skin or is that not PC also?

I really liked the post about wai-ing dogs (the four legged variety) I think it could catch on big time. I'm not joking. Thais love things like that.

My wife taught our dog to wai.

You wrote, "This is a load of BS. Two ugly Issan girls teaching you how to wai like an Issan girl. Great post."

1. How did you know they were from Issan? 2. How does an Issan girl wai differently from any other Thai woman?

[AYJAYDEE]

Good video. nice to know and don't look like a fool. ONLY!!!!!! the higher status thing is a load of sheit! they should abandon this crap of people believing they are of higher status. I will never submit to the idea of someone else feeling higher than me, exept maybe the king of thailand and the king of holland. For the rest FCK you with your false pretentions

judging by your post, most here are higher than you

[edwardflory]

I can not believe some of the responses I see posted. I do not wai because: it's not my culture, it's ................, it's..............., I don't ......., da da da da da dah

All of us, unless we are citizens of the Kingdom, are VISITORS here, GUESTS in the Kingdom. Why do so many people have problems being nice to our host - the Thai people!!

( Sorry I have to be so general )

I am in a position where I am wai-ed many times when I am in a certain environment, and also by the same people who see me outside the said environment. I return the wai. I receive a wai out of respect of what I do in the one particular environment, but the Thai people also choose to wai and respect me OUTSIDE the environment. The only person I do not wai in the environment ( although they wai me ) is a sorta housekeeper person - I do smile, say "Thank you", and nod my head.

I live IN THIS COUNTRY by MY choice, and as a GUEST of THIS country. As a person that has traveled to, and at times lived / worked in a country ( 4 ) other than the one of my citizenship, I have no trouble learning enough of the customs and language to be considered a decent or respectful person by my hosts, Give respect when appropriate, you should receive respect in return..

Six words: BE NICE, BE RESPECTFUL, RETURN COURTESIES ..... does it hurt THAT much????

In my immediate neighborhood ( street where live - and a small area close to my street ) I am always greeted by my neighbors in both Thai and English, a wai with a friendly smile, and addressed by my Christian name or nickname the 1st time they see me for that day, after that a quick wai and a smile at other times of the day. I am invited to "block" parties and "sit down and share our food".

BE NICE, BE RESPECTFUL, RETURN COURTESIES, a bar environment is totally different than a work, social or neighborhood environment ....................... my 2 cents for this day

[Gringogazzer]

I wonder what sort of life people must lead here who never wai. In my life i would have found it impossible not to have wai-ed whether it was respectful, in thanks, in apology or even facetiously for comic effect. In my job i taught thousands of Thais as well as foreigners to wai correctly. One wonders what some of the non wai-ers on here would think of a Thai who never shook hands or greeted with a kiss as might be appropriate in their home countries.

I only wai monks at the Wat and is only in respect for my wife as Buddhism is her central core. I go for her and making myself a chump by being disinterested or ignorant would reflect on her.

Her parents are dead.

I would wai if I had to apologise to someone and a "kor tort" wouldn't suffuse, but this has never arisen.

So my life is wai free. In social aspects when I receive a wai I bow my head with a closed lipped smile which is unconscious and followed my from day 1. They know I'm falang, I know I'm falang and I like being me. They never stop from giving me a wai and I don't change my nod. We respect each other for our individuality.

My life is not incomplete or boring without the Wai. Everyone who wants to Wai, nothing to do with me, crack on.

[MartinL]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

I do not wai now or ever.

I don't either. I do not believe in cultural etiquette. I believe that it is over rated, over used, as well as not used properly by most thai's and foreigners. I was first told about wai-ing when I came to Thailand. I was told that you wai "out of respect"....however, I don't see any respect in the act. Students wai their teachers, but they have no respect for them. Employees wai their boss, but the speak ill of him behind his back. So why be a fraud? I just say hello....that's my way of greeting. I think we should respect each other for how they choose to communicate, but I don't believe in hypocrisy.

For me, you've hit the nail on the head, rimmyrimjob.

I used to wai people when I first came here but it didn't last long - maybe 6 months, if that.

What did it for me was one particular bloke, my wife's cousin who she dislikes. He used to wai me with his hands above his head and I pretty soon began to think he was taking the piss - turned out he wasn't. His thinking seemed to be that, if he waied me in a sufficiently fawning manner, I'd give him lots of money for beer & lao khao. He was totally wrong on that score. His begging wai just looked ridiculous to me. Since then, rightly or wrongly, I've associated the wai with subservience, which I don't like.

Yes, apparently the wai is about respect but most people who wai me have that deadpan face that's so common here - it's an automatic action that really means very little. My response to a wai is a big, warm smile and a word of greeting. IMO a smile is a much more expressive & respectful action, in any language, than the wai (or any similar hand gesture) could ever be.

Edited June 11, 2014 by MartinL

[marko kok prong]

I can not believe some of the responses I see posted. I do not wai because: it's not my culture, it's ................, it's..............., I don't ......., da da da da da dah

All of us, unless we are citizens of the Kingdom, are VISITORS here, GUESTS in the Kingdom. Why do so many people have problems being nice to our host - the Thai people!!

( Sorry I have to be so general )

I am in a position where I am wai-ed many times when I am in a certain environment, and also by the same people who see me outside the said environment. I return the wai. I receive a wai out of respect of what I do in the one particular environment, but the Thai people also choose to wai and respect me OUTSIDE the environment. The only person I do not wai in the environment ( although they wai me ) is a sorta housekeeper person - I do smile, say "Thank you", and nod my head.

I live IN THIS COUNTRY by MY choice, and as a GUEST of THIS country. As a person that has traveled to, and at times lived / worked in a country ( 4 ) other than the one of my citizenship, I have no trouble learning enough of the customs and language to be considered a decent or respectful person by my hosts, Give respect when appropriate, you should receive respect in return..

Six words: BE NICE, BE RESPECTFUL, RETURN COURTESIES ..... does it hurt THAT much????

In my immediate neighborhood ( street where live - and a small area close to my street ) I am always greeted by my neighbors in both Thai and English, a wai with a friendly smile, and addressed by my Christian name or nickname the 1st time they see me for that day, after that a quick wai and a smile at other times of the day. I am invited to "block" parties and "sit down and share our food".

BE NICE, BE RESPECTFUL, RETURN COURTESIES, a bar environment is totally different than a work, social or neighborhood environment ....................... my 2 cents for this day

See,i told you David.

[ATF]

You wrote, "This is a load of BS. Two ugly Issan girls teaching you how to wai like an Issan girl. Great post."

1. How did you know they were from Issan? 2. How does an Issan girl wai differently from any other Thai woman?

1. Their accents. 2. They wai in an overly subservient manner.

Please try to understand that Thai is not the first language of most Issan people.

[thailiketoo]

You wrote, "This is a load of BS. Two ugly Issan girls teaching you how to wai like an Issan girl. Great post."

1. How did you know they were from Issan? 2. How does an Issan girl wai differently from any other Thai woman?

1. Their accents. 2. They wai in an overly subservient manner.

Please try to understand that Thai is not the first language of most Issan people.

Ah no. She was born in Bangkok and moved to Nakhon Si Tamarat. So now would be a good time to admit you don't have a clue about how people from different parts of Thailand sound.

Try to understand this is not my first day in Thailand.

[Tchooptip]

Being older I rarely "wai" as age dictates its not required, but I do and have when the situation requires it.

There are those that will say "why you are not Thai" , and thats their decision but for me I think its respectful and demonstrates you know its respectful in the right circumstances, those that go around and "wai" to a waitress or just about anyone just look stupid in my opinion as it demonstrates they really dont understand what they are doing.

I really do not wai often. But for instance, yes I wai (not first) to my owner an old Thai lady in her late sixties we have a very good relationship.

Sometimes also IF I am very grateful for something that helped me, but most of the time I smile and bow slightly, to answer David 48 I have nothing against it but sparingly

[ATF]

Ah no. She was born in Bangkok and moved to Nakhon Si Tamarat. So now would be a good time to admit you don't have a clue about how people from different parts of Thailand sound.

Try to understand this is not my first day in Thailand.

So you just phoned her? Just because she was born in Bangkok doesn't mean her parents weren't from Issan. Off topic here. If you want to wai like her go ahead.

[kurnell]

I read it was ok to give a one handed wai to kids and maids

I gave a one-handed wai to a driver yesterday who let me through a line of traffic. He seemed to appreciate it. I was on a bicycle, so had one hand on the handlebar. I have seen one-handed wais whenever someone has to wai but can only get one hand free, so not just kids and maids, but among friends and neighbors as well.

I think that if you are waiing a toddler or a midget, you can bend the fingers

Why would you want to bend the fingers of a midget?

Just for the pure pleasure of making them squeal

[thailiketoo]

Ah no. She was born in Bangkok and moved to Nakhon Si Tamarat. So now would be a good time to admit you don't have a clue about how people from different parts of Thailand sound.

Try to understand this is not my first day in Thailand.

So you just phoned her? Just because she was born in Bangkok doesn't mean her parents weren't from Issan. Off topic here. If you want to wai like her go ahead.

From her website.

I was born here in Bangkok but I moved to Nakhon Si Tamarat with my family, it’s a town next to Suratthani.

I’ve been in Bangkok for over 10 years. I moved here when I was 18 to attend the University. But every two months I visit my hometown; my family still lives there.

http://learnthaiwithmod.com/about-mod/

Now don't you feel like you should apologize and just admit you don't know what you are talking about.

Edited June 11, 2014 by thailiketoo

[arjunadawn]

Wow! Such a great video. Thanks so much. Can't believe saying hello could be sexy. I can watch her all day

[ATF]

Ah no. She was born in Bangkok and moved to Nakhon Si Tamarat. So now would be a good time to admit you don't have a clue about how people from different parts of Thailand sound.

Try to understand this is not my first day in Thailand.

So you just phoned her? Just because she was born in Bangkok doesn't mean her parents weren't from Issan. Off topic here. If you want to wai like her go ahead.

From her website.

I was born here in Bangkok but I moved to Nakhon Si Tamarat with my family, it’s a town next to Suratthani.

I’ve been in Bangkok for over 10 years. I moved here when I was 18 to attend the University. But every two months I visit my hometown; my family still lives there.

http://learnthaiwithmod.com/about-mod/

Now don't you feel like you should apologize and just admit you don't know what you are talking about.

Born in BKK moved to Surat Thani with family. Hometown should be BKK if she was born there.