In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

[garyinhuahin]

Funny how this splits down the middle, with poster after poster (some claiming fluencey in Thai) swearing they've never had a meaningful conversation with a Thai (and don't anyone who has) and others (me included) who have been chatting it up since we got here. And I don't speak Thai to any real extent (I try, but brain too slow).

I really wonder what's creating this differential

[Greg Nixon]

I can relate to what Bowerboy brings up. When I went to Maylasia for a few weeks I was surprised at how easily I could communicate with people. It was not about language it was about them thinking of me as a person, like them. This, despite my strong reservations about Muslims. With Thai people, after 4+ years, altogether, in the country, it still seems like they want to be formal and not engage in a person-to-person interaction if it can be avoided. They have so much obsession with "face", and so little regard for what other people are really feeling.

As for the rest of you people who disagreed with the post by Bowerboy - why is it you cannot just say - or think - that you understand what the person is saying but you don't see it that way? What do you accomplish by projecting trash onto a person - talking about his g/f, his country of origin, his mental state - when you don't know the facts? It is because of the insulting way people respond to Posts that I - and maybe other people too - seldom Post on these forums. Is this how yoou show class?

Surely you must have noted by now that many of these posters are low class or no class people. They couldn't make it in their country so they have come to ruin Thailand. There are just so many Thai people that make the farang feel superior. Many of the posters had they been born and raised a Thai, would find the shoe on the other foot. Would they even have lived ?

What can you say about a foreigner who has bought 400 Thai women and taken his son with him. How does the son think about his father ? The father is likely a pimp. The son becomes an alcoholic, marries a prostitute and dies of cirrhosis at the age of 55. The pimp father buries and mourns his son but denies all the sons children who are not white. The father does not give any of the money to the wife but drives her back into prostitution. The father is enriched by his son's money. Now isn't that just classy?

[InTransit]

In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

Well, to tell you the truth. You haven't missed much.

Perhaps you have.............

I doubt it, conversations generaly involve food, facebook and <deleted> all else

[Neeranam]

You are not alone. I lived in Thailand for 22 years, was married and have 2 children. I speak fluent Thai and write enough to get by. I have owned 3 language schools, been a headmaster, professor at university and a foreign director. During those 22 years, I cannot recall any intellectual conversation with any Thai person; including my wife! Nor, have I met any other person during that time; that had. It was a constant topic among the teachers (Including the married ones) regarding: What do Thais talk about? Being that I speak Thai myself it was as follows: Gin kao yung (Have you eaten yet?) Sabai dee mai (Are you ok?) Khun mee meir noy rue (You have another wife, huh?) Krub kroa chun yahk goo ngern (My family wants to borrow money) khun ja sue chun tong, ler (Are you going to buy me gold?)

This is roughly transliterated as the Thai language has 44 consonants and 32 vowels - English a mere 26 consonants and 5 vowels. 22 years of this drove me nuts, thank god that I'm now back home in the UK talking with the "grown-up's" once again....

Surely this is all made up.

I was a humble teacher at a large university and had long intellectual discussions nearly every night at dinner with foreigners and Western educated Thai teachers and even students.

If you were a professor and are fluent in Thai then the world's your lobster. Maybe your wife didn't let you out?

[Pattaya Pat]

Whenever an OP starts a thread concerning something less than flattering about Thais...the Thai Apologist's claws come out...let's try to keep it civil...speak to the subject...and not feel obligated to attack the poster...

Oh look, we have a wannabee mod

[InTransit]

This is the third time I'm asking the OP where's he's from? Muslims like him but Thais don't. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I have more Thai friends than falung friends. We play golf together do business together and socialize in general. Sometimes they prefer to speak English sometimes Thai but I know they would never talk to me if I smelled like an Arab's jockstrap.

What about if you just smelled like a jockstrap?

[thailiketoo]

In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

Well, to tell you the truth. You haven't missed much.

Perhaps you have.............

I doubt it, conversations generaly involve food, facebook and <deleted> all else

Business, Religion and family. I learned the in and outs of dealing with the military in ownership of businesses. I learned the difference between the forest monks and the ones who sell lucky charms and I learned what happened to my Thai family for the last 40 years.

[Old Stud]

I have mostly Thai friends. But I learned something when I first moved here. I took Thai lessons from a college graduate five days a week for over six months. She was totally into teaching. That was it. But after about four months we started talking. It took that long for her to trust me. Once she did, she totally opened up and we had great discussions about just about everything. She always encouraging me to say it in Thai, of course. The problem became that I was paying her to talk about her inner feelings and so on for the whole hour.

In my experience over the last three years, it takes time to develop trust, and a desire to. Since I have lived in the same Thai compound for a long time now, people come over and talk my ear off, and I mostly listen. In my experience, since I have relaxed into the Thai culture and people tend to like me, having conversations is not a problem. I'm not challenging the OP, but speaking even get-by Thai, relaxing, liking it here and the people, makes all the difference in the world.

To me its the conversations with the farangs that seem shallow.

[ATF]

This is the third time I'm asking the OP where's he's from? Muslims like him but Thais don't. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I have more Thai friends than falung friends. We play golf together do business together and socialize in general. Sometimes they prefer to speak English sometimes Thai but I know they would never talk to me if I smelled like an Arab's jockstrap.

but they still talk to you when you speak like a farang's jockstrap?

I am not concerned about PC; however, Indonesia's majority religion is Muslim but there are also many Christians and Hindus - the same way that Thailand's majority religion is Buddhism but there are Christians and Muslims and many other religions here.

Lastly, your comment about smelling like an Arab's jockstrap - I wonder exactly what ethnic group's jockstrap you do find appealing?

This is the third time I'm asking the OP where's he's from? Muslims like him but Thais don't. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I have more Thai friends than falung friends. We play golf together do business together and socialize in general. Sometimes they prefer to speak English sometimes Thai but I know they would never talk to me if I smelled like an Arab's jockstrap.

What about if you just smelled like a jockstrap?

Seem to have hit a nerve here or maybe your jockstrap is chafing your ass?

[garrya]

I can relate to what Bowerboy brings up. When I went to Maylasia for a few weeks I was surprised at how easily I could communicate with people. It was not about language it was about them thinking of me as a person, like them. This, despite my strong reservations about Muslims. With Thai people, after 4+ years, altogether, in the country, it still seems like they want to be formal and not engage in a person-to-person interaction if it can be avoided. They have so much obsession with "face", and so little regard for what other people are really feeling.

As for the rest of you people who disagreed with the post by Bowerboy - why is it you cannot just say - or think - that you understand what the person is saying but you don't see it that way? What do you accomplish by projecting trash onto a person - talking about his g/f, his country of origin, his mental state - when you don't know the facts? It is because of the insulting way people respond to Posts that I - and maybe other people too - seldom Post on these forums. Is this how yoou show class?

Well said. I totally agree with you.

Unfortunately, bashing people because of their different opinions is a national sport here - especially when you dare to criticize anything related to Thailand. Sometimes I believe they are paid to do this. Sane people wouldn't react this way.

[atyclb]

The % of people that you can have a meaningful conversation with may indeed be very low if your standards for such are moderate to high. a lot of people scared to death to speak to a non asian. huge education deficit aka critical thinking, little or no intellectual curiosity, tunnel vision monotonous. even if you speak reasonably well in their language. my outside the box thai friends concurr. theres no lack of this even in more elevated social circles. exceptions small and duly noted.

[oobar]

I live in 2 worlds in Thailand, one as a teacher in Bangkok and one upcountry on my wife's farm in Issan.

Apart from my regular work as a teacher in a Thai school, I've taught adults ' conversation' privately over the years, middle class Thais who grew up here.

We've had lots of fun over the last 25 years,discussing every topic under the sun- like everywhere, the longer you know people, the closer you get, and Thais' sense of humour is similar to English, lots of banter and teasing.

On the farm there's plenty of conversation with the extended family and villagers about work- what's currently best to plant, and how it's doing, and about relatives and neighbours, how and what they are doing, normal family talk with an agricultural and village background.

Aren't people the same world over, when they feel close to someone, either through culture or familiarity, they open up?

That's been my experience anyway.

After almost 30 years in Thailand, I would agree completely.

[garrya]

Whenever an OP starts a thread concerning something less than flattering about Thais...the Thai Apologist's claws come out...let's try to keep it civil...speak to the subject...and not feel obligated to attack the poster...

They are probably paid to do it.

[oobar]

You are not alone. I lived in Thailand for 22 years, was married and have 2 children. I speak fluent Thai and write enough to get by. I have owned 3 language schools, been a headmaster, professor at university and a foreign director. During those 22 years, I cannot recall any intellectual conversation with any Thai person; including my wife! Nor, have I met any other person during that time; that had. It was a constant topic among the teachers (Including the married ones) regarding: What do Thais talk about? Being that I speak Thai myself it was as follows: Gin kao yung (Have you eaten yet?) Sabai dee mai (Are you ok?) Khun mee meir noy rue (You have another wife, huh?) Krub kroa chun yahk goo ngern (My family wants to borrow money) khun ja sue chun tong, ler (Are you going to buy me gold?)

This is roughly transliterated as the Thai language has 44 consonants and 32 vowels - English a mere 26 consonants and 5 vowels. 22 years of this drove me nuts, thank god that I'm now back home in the UK talking with the "grown-up's" once again....

Gee, you should be due some condolence for your time spent in Thailand. Doesn't sound like it was pleasant here for you.

[bowerboy]

My wife is what you would class as a "typical" or "standard" Thai. She is the girl in your office in the accounts department that you see but never speak to or the wife of the IT guy...you get my drift I hope...

I can tell you now that she knows absolutely nothing about my life prior to Thailand and has never asked and seems completely uninterested in knowing. But from what I have seen this ties in absolutely with the Thais that I do know and how very little they know about each other or the people they work with...my family is full of "family legends and stories" passed down over time....after much prying there seems to be none in her family or the family of any other Thai I know..they just seem completely uninterested in knowing anything which is part of why they are seemingly unable to connect in conversation...for whatever reason it appears to me that they just are not interested in knowing anything outside of what will affect them in the immediate or very near future (sometimes even that far ahead seems a stretch).

I can see the response know so before you start I will tell you exactly why I am married to her and the upside that goes with this attitude.....I can basically get away with doing whatever I want whenever I want without question (see below for what that means to me)...as long as there is a feasible excuse and plausible deniablity then she will overlook the truth no matter how glaringly obvious that I am lying.

For me that freedom means being able to travel and go away and spend time with others whenever I want...this weekend I want to go to Pattaya with a friend so I simply say we have a work event this weekend and I will be away and nothing more is asked or spoken about it...she will not call or hassle me while I am away and i come back when I want and everyone is happy. She knows why I am going there and what will likely happen but for all the above reasons of not wanting to know much we have a thoroughly workable and enjoyable status quo.

So whilst I do bemoan the fact of never having had a conversation with a Thai I am smart enough to take full advantage of the situation that has led to this phenomenon.....frankly speaking I would not be here if this wasnt the case...seriously.

[bonobo]

On my drive from Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville today, I had a great conversation with two Thais--about this thread. We had a pretty good laugh about it, and my friend said we should invite the OP over for lunch sometime.

[BrooklynNY]

A Thai replies here,

"Do Thais have conversations among themselves that are of any real subtstance? As far as I can tell it is only ever about food or lottery numbers."

No, not at all. You must have been with a different class of Thais because well to do Thais do not talk about lottery numbers on regular conversation. You may have your own problem/s that you did not know that why Thais in your circle did not open up to have meaningful conversations like house pets. Maybe those Thais you encountered may have felt intimidated by you in some ways.

I like talking about food and I spend big playing lotto $1 !! once a month and I do not check the winning# I let it lay around. But that will not pop in my conversation.

If anyone happens to strike a conversation with me, he/she will hear about my animals rescue stories (hahaha) which will be one of my topics.

Edited June 16, 2014 by BrooklynNY

[DekDaeng]

Near 20 years - ditto.

[DekDaeng]

Anybody have knowledge how the Burmese would measure, on this topic?

BTW, it is also commonly observed that Thais do not read books -

[bowerboy]

This is for me literally impossible to imagine or picture...after 10 years here and many such similar road trips for work (3 or 4 days together in 4x4's upcountry Thailand and Laos and all the Karaokes and drinking and lunches and womanizing this involves) and I simply could not picture or imagine this scene or conversation in my wildest dreams...

What I can definitely picture on a journey of this length is your companions immediately nodding off to sleep and waking up only when food beckons..

I am not calling you a liar.........just my own personal extensive experience of this exact situation is the absolute opposite of yours..

At very best I could imagine you talking at them and them feigning a few "hmms" and maybe an "ohhh" and an "I see" before nodding off...

On my drive from Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville today, I had a great conversation with two Thais--about this thread. We had a pretty good laugh about it, and my friend said we should invite the OP over for lunch sometime.

[bonobo]

This is for me literally impossible to imagine or picture...after 10 years here and many such similar road trips for work (3 or 4 days together in 4x4's upcountry Thailand and Laos and all the Karaokes and drinking and lunches and womanizing this involves) and I simply could not picture or imagine this scene or conversation in my wildest dreams...

What I can definitely picture on a journey of this length is your companions immediately nodding off to sleep and waking up only when food beckons..

I am not calling you a liar.........just my own personal extensive experience of this exact situation is the absolute opposite of yours..

At very best I could imagine you talking at them and them feigning a few "hmms" and maybe an "ohhh" and an "I see" before nodding off...

On my drive from Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville today, I had a great conversation with two Thais--about this thread. We had a pretty good laugh about it, and my friend said we should invite the OP over for lunch sometime.

I am not doubting your experiences. How can I as I have never been there with you? But your experiences are so far off my own that I had to comment.

If you do get down Bangkok way, I really do extend an invitation to come to lunch. With both of us in the same place and at the same time, I think it might open a few eyes.

[LawrenceN]

My next door neighbor is a retired manager of a government agriculture office. He is about six years older than me. I'm 59. We sometimes play golf together, and often go to the driving range to practice together. And we chat whenever he's out and I pass by his gate. Our conversations seam relaxed and natural, wide-ranging. Nice guy, very kind and compassionate. Thanks for asking.

[thaiguzzi]

To the OP;

1. Learn Thai.

2. Get out and about more.

[cardinalblue]

Have had conversations but would not fall within the meaningful or of substance box...

I try to listen to Thais speak with Thais and find very little substance. Granted these are our neighbors and at parties so maybe office cooler conversations might be different...

Sometimes we land on important topics but they wish not to articulate potential solutions or expand in any depth. The most I get is a response like,"yeah waste management is a problem in Thailand...end of conversation..."

CB

[Pattaya Pat]

On my drive from Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville today, I had a great conversation with two Thais--about this thread. We had a pretty good laugh about it, and my friend said we should invite the OP over for lunch sometime.

Rock n roll, I bet that convo was rivitting.

Edited June 16, 2014 by Pattaya Pat

[Neeranam]

I wouldn't feel bad. Most Thais have never had a conversation with a Thai either.

What an ignorant thing to say.

[phutoie2]

I wouldn't feel bad. Most Thais have never had a conversation with a Thai either.

What an ignorant thing to say.

Yep just like your quote " I support anyone playing England" pure ignorance.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ 2 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[PaullyW]

I will agree with the OP. Have traveled and lived in almost 10 countries. Thais are squarely the most boring people I've come across. All the other Asians are worlds apart more interesting. Have had awesome friends and conversations with Chinese in Shanghai, Indians throughout my travels there, Japanese are fantastic, Koreans are OK (but a bit too serious for me), Singaporeans, even Indonesians. One of my best friends is an Indonesian guy who works in a large OG operation.

I am not knocking Thais here but they are generally extremely boring, painfully so even. The ones who seem to have much going on are often into whatever it is they are into just for the FACE and popularity. They just want to look good. Thais are extremely superficial in my experience.

Great with simple stuff though. If you want to talk about food or the weather or gossip, they are among the best!

[beachproperty]

I've already pointed out that I am not fluent in Thai....Speak a little though,

But have been following this thread and it appears that Bowerboy is he-lbent on slagging the Thai's. And that may well be his experience and others who agree with him....

But personally ....my recent experience is in dealing with my builder (have a building project in process now).

I have built before ...no contractor or developer ....but know a little about building. As in all building projects certain realities come up that are not addressed in the original plans and may need thinking "out of the box" to fix or deal with. If I were to believe the OP and some other poster my builder wouldn't have a clue how to deal with such problems as Thai's, in these posters minds, lack the critical thinking process...

Well for me and my experience...I can state...WRONG. My Thai builder (who speaks little English) is able to Think "outside the box" and come up with solutions and suggestions (to improve the building and design) that continually amaze me AND communicate it to me as I to him. I guess I hit the jackpot getting him as my builder because if I were to believe many of the posters ....Thai's can't think or discuss anything of substance...and they're all just trained monkeys.

Oh and by the way my builder is a Liverpool fan, and is also following the World Cup ....He updates me daily (I could really care less, as I am not a Soccer fan but I listen because its seems important to him)

. Bowerboy ....and others...maybe if you listened a little, instead of spouting out how intellectual and well traveled (ie...think your superior) you are, you might understand why the Thai's don't want to talk to you about anything......Just a thought

Edited June 16, 2014 by beachproperty

[mrfaroukh]

May be this is the reason that many expats love to live here in Thailand. They do not want any nosy neighbors watching outside from their kitchen window and see what you or others do. Here they take it easy and mind their own business may be. We all love to talk about politics, projects, jobs etc, and where we reach after hours of discussion. Sometime we may even fight over a stupid idea.

Yes I understand you, even I get bored not being able to have a nice discussion. Most of time the only thing we here and talk is what is your name, Wel al you flom, you want dlink, you want play game, money money /////////////

But this is what we choose and no one forcing us to stay.

Take it or leave it.

Have fun