An amusing Thainess moment, got any?

[Gsxrnz]

Got two food stories in line with the OP.

Once ordered an English breakfast and the menu offered jam or marmalade for the toast. I ordered the marmalede. The meal arrived with jam - oh well, not a problem. I'd no sooner downed a mouthfull of sausage when an omellete arrives. I didn't order this says I. "Yes you dit, you order armalet." Truly a Thai moment.

Second case was in a mall at a steak restaurant. Three of us (all falangs) and the serving staff had zero Thai. No probs, my mate and I reckon we can use our various levels of Thai to get through this. He has a wide vocab but is tone deaf - I can wing it on the tones. We each order a steak dish on the menu and we all also ordered side orders of onion rings, a baked potato, and french fries. We used the point and shoot method on the menu but had to elaborate about the side dishes.

Our meals arrive, but missing the side orders. Never mind, we're hungry and running late for an appointment. We each had a mouthful of food when suddenly, three more plates arrive - the same steak orders, but complete with the side orders. So we now had six meals for the three of us. We explained and suddenly they understood. To be fair, probably our fault for thinking we're too flash on the Thai - I think we said laew-gaw and dooay to much.

They didn't charge for the extra food but we saw them tucking into the food as we finished our meal.

Edited June 23, 2014 by Gsxrnz

[WitawatWatawit]

There have been variations of this one by many BMs over the years, but it still amuses.

Many years back, I bought my first car in Thailand. The Mrs was about 20 then. So we got in to go for a drive and I said to her to buckle up her seat belt. Why, she said? In case we have an accident, says I. But, she said, we haven't had one yet, so why put it on? Ermmm....

[ppmacready]

I noticed black smoke coming from near my friends motorbike repair shop on 3rd road.

As I approached I see it was indeed a motorbike on fire with the flames spreading to the dirty oil drum at the front of his shop.

In the crowd I found my friend and I comforted him as the fire brigade arrived.

Being a retired fireman I was interested in how they handled it.

I couldn't see any foam container.

It was getting close to 'water on'.

I hesitated to point out, cos it seemed so stupid, but finally I pointed out to my friend they would need foam on this fire because of the oil alight.

Shouldn't he tell them?

Confidently he told me they knew what they were doing. They were the fire brigade.

And to be honest even I thought I was being silly saying anything.

After all it was the fire brigade.

My hypothesis being, maybe the foam containers were somehow nowadays incorporated into the fire truck.

They hit the fire with a jet of water and the flaming oil went everywhere causing more bikes to catch fire and the front of the building.

It looked more spectacular than it actually was.

And shortly after they brought it under control.

But it caused more damaged and a bigger mess.

We both still laugh about it.

[Seastallion]

I noticed black smoke coming from near my friends motorbike repair shop on 3rd road.

As I approached I see it was indeed a motorbike on fire with the flames spreading to the dirty oil drum at the front of his shop.

In the crowd I found my friend and I comforted him as the fire brigade arrived.

Being a retired fireman I was interested in how they handled it.

I couldn't see any foam container.

It was getting close to 'water on'.

I hesitated to point out, cos it seemed so stupid, but finally I pointed out to my friend they would need foam on this fire because of the oil alight.

Shouldn't he tell them?

Confidently he told me they knew what they were doing. They were the fire brigade.

And to be honest even I thought I was being silly saying anything.

After all it was the fire brigade.

My hypothesis being, maybe the foam containers were somehow nowadays incorporated into the fire truck.

They hit the fire with a jet of water and the flaming oil went everywhere causing more bikes to catch fire and the front of the building.

It looked more spectacular than it actually was.

And shortly after they brought it under control.

But it caused more damaged and a bigger mess.

We both still laugh about it.

You both still laugh about it........yeah right, and pigs may fly.

[ppmacready]

I noticed black smoke coming from near my friends motorbike repair shop on 3rd road.

As I approached I see it was indeed a motorbike on fire with the flames spreading to the dirty oil drum at the front of his shop.

In the crowd I found my friend and I comforted him as the fire brigade arrived.

Being a retired fireman I was interested in how they handled it.

I couldn't see any foam container.

It was getting close to 'water on'.

I hesitated to point out, cos it seemed so stupid, but finally I pointed out to my friend they would need foam on this fire because of the oil alight.

Shouldn't he tell them?

Confidently he told me they knew what they were doing. They were the fire brigade.

And to be honest even I thought I was being silly saying anything.

After all it was the fire brigade.

My hypothesis being, maybe the foam containers were somehow nowadays incorporated into the fire truck.

They hit the fire with a jet of water and the flaming oil went everywhere causing more bikes to catch fire and the front of the building.

It looked more spectacular than it actually was.

And shortly after they brought it under control.

But it caused more damaged and a bigger mess.

We both still laugh about it.

You both still laugh about it........yeah right, and pigs may fly.

Oh ye of little faith.

I'm happy to meet you at Road Machine motor bike shop 3rd road next to the fire station, opposite the village in Pattaya, any day to confirm this story.

[ppmacready]

I noticed black smoke coming from near my friends motorbike repair shop on 3rd road.

As I approached I see it was indeed a motorbike on fire with the flames spreading to the dirty oil drum at the front of his shop.

In the crowd I found my friend and I comforted him as the fire brigade arrived.

Being a retired fireman I was interested in how they handled it.

I couldn't see any foam container.

It was getting close to 'water on'.

I hesitated to point out, cos it seemed so stupid, but finally I pointed out to my friend they would need foam on this fire because of the oil alight.

Shouldn't he tell them?

Confidently he told me they knew what they were doing. They were the fire brigade.

And to be honest even I thought I was being silly saying anything.

After all it was the fire brigade.

My hypothesis being, maybe the foam containers were somehow nowadays incorporated into the fire truck.

They hit the fire with a jet of water and the flaming oil went everywhere causing more bikes to catch fire and the front of the building.

It looked more spectacular than it actually was.

And shortly after they brought it under control.

But it caused more damaged and a bigger mess.

We both still laugh about it.

You both still laugh about it........yeah right, and pigs may fly.

Oh ye of little faith.

I'm happy to meet you at Road Machine motor bike shop 3rd road next to the fire station, opposite the village in Pattaya, any day to confirm this story.

No one needs to make up these type of story's in Thailand!

[AYJAYDEE]

what fun! start a thread about amusing thai moments knowing full well the thai bashers will come crawling out from every rock with all their "stupid thai" anecdotes!

I'd politely suggest you change your grey coloured glasses to rose.

i'd politely suggest that you ........................ oh never mind

[Aussieroaming]

I ordered a Heineken yesterday and got a cup of tea..the poor farang owner drank it..sorry mate

[silver sea]

I went to my local Siam Commercial Bank branch. I needed my passbook updated and a 1000 baht note changed to 10 x 100 notes.

There were four desks. From my right, at desk 1 was a female clerk; desk 2 was unoccupied; desk 3 had a female clerk; desk 4 had a male clerk.

When it was my turn in the queue, I sat down at desk 3. She updated my passbook but couldn't help me with the 1000 baht note. She pointed to the lady at desk 1 and indicated that I should go there. I stood up and moved over.

The lady at desk 1 was already ocuppied with a customer. I waited patiently for 5 minutes and then she was free. I sat down and asked her to change the note for 10 x 100 notes. She opened her drawer, frowned and indicated she did not have enough notes. She then stood up and walked past the lady at desk 3, and interrupted the male clerk, who was helping a customer, at desk 4. She whispered something, he opened his drawer, took the 1000 baht note, and gave her 10 x 100 baht notes. She then walked back to her desk and handed the notes to me. Why couldn't the lady at desk 3 have done that?

As I stood up, I shot a glance at the lady at desk 3, but she did not bat an eyelid.

I would add that normally the staff at SCB are very good; just an off day I suppose.

[exsas]

ordered a coffee but the waitress smiled and said 'sorry no coffee'

ok so I ordered juice instead

5 minutes later waitress brings out 2 coffee's to another table

I ask her why she said no coffee

she replied ' coffee come with breakfast'

[Pralaad]

Some years ago, after night of drinking stopped at one of those street stalls on sukhumvit road between nana and asok.

Ordered fried rice with chicken, received my dish only not to have any chicken.

Raised the question with seller and received response chicken finished .

Ok, did you not think to tell me? Or offer something else ?

Response a silly smile.

Look at the bill and there is a charge rice with chicken.

Raised the question again.

Response was, yes but I give you more rice

[Cam Khao]

what fun! start a thread about amusing thai moments knowing full well the thai bashers will come crawling out from every rock with all their "stupid thai" anecdotes!

I dont see anybody being Thai bashers here, just some people, having a smile.

For me, these scenarios are what make Thailand fun.

Would you care to chip in with an amusing story, just for fun? Or are you done with your opinion now?

[Thai at Heart]

In a hotel, reading the nation newspaper.

Go and ask in my best Thai, if they have the Bangkok post.

Waiter looks at another waiter and asks in Thai, "why does this falang want corn flower"

Baeng korport. Bangkok post.

[AYJAYDEE]

When asked what I wanted to eat, and wanting some fried chicken, I answered gai dtote instead of gai thawd. my family has been laughing about chicken farts ever since

[Seastallion]

Went to the bank a few weeks ago. Wifey and I wanted to open a joint account. Sent upstairs and seated at a desk.

I had my passport, as did wifey.

They wanted wifey's Thai ID card, which she had but had expired while we had been abroad.

Not acceptable, can't open the account.

I'm following this with enough Thai language and getting the gist.

Wifey confirms; They won't open the account because her ID was expired. Ok, please tell the lady....

But, your passport has not expired.

They don't accept it.

Hang on, your passport is accepted all around the world to enter countries, is accepted all around the world in OTHER country's banks, but here in your own country the bank does not accept it as ID?

Yes.

But my farang passport is accepted?

Yes.

So my farang passport is superior to a Thai passport?

Silence.

Chatter amongst bank staff.

We can open the account for you but Mrs Sea will have to bring her Thai ID in as soon as she renews it.

[EBlair48]

I had a fellow building a new little shed in which to relocate my pool pump.

It needed a sold brick wall on which to hang the electrics. He spent nearly a full day slowly building this wall to a height of about 5' including rendering. When finished, he stood up to admire his work, put a hand on the wall to support himself and knocked the whole thing over! He hadn't buttressed it or used any steel to bind the thing together and the wet cement didn't hold it.

About a week or so after he finished the job, I had a proper workman come in to demolish the structure the first guy cobbled together, and replace it with something usable. During demolition the expensive electrics just pulled straight out of the wall, they hadn't been fixed securely. When the cheap wooden frame was removed the wall fell over again. The rubble was used to fill potholes in the road outside and the rest of the cheap, nasty materials in the structure were dumped.

Lesson learnt, no point trying to get refunds from people like this.

Reminiscent of the security bars I had made for a house . The door had the sliding bolt handle 5 inches from the ground. When I complained I was called racist terms.

Hysterical !!

[rgs2001uk]

Driving back from Korat today on HW #2, round about Pak Chong/Khao Yai way, anyone who has driven this rd will know exactly how dangerous it is.

Came whizzing round a downwards bend, EFF ME, threr is some Somchai in a EFFIN TUK TUK, middle lane, lights on the tuk tuk lit up like the disco buses that head up to Udon, effin Luk Thung music blasting out of his speakers.

The best bit, fag in one hand and a mobile phone in the other.

Holy shit, talk about sabai.

No wonder Thai roads are killers, this idiot was totally oblivious to everything around him, 18 wheelers nearly crashing into each other, Fortuners and MPSs almost coming to a complete stand still, brakes still glowing red and sparks flying as they passed by this idiot.

Only in Issan is this possible.

[TobyOliver]

Needed to open bank account to buy a condo in Pat

Bank clerk "sowi sir you need thai residency certificate"

2 hours later at immigration office

"Can I apply for a residence certificate please"

Response "sowi can not do, I need see Thai utility bill, you get when you are living here"

Words fail me

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Rooo]

This is supposed to be a light hearted topic. I have removed 24 posts for trolling,, off topic , childish posts bickering.

[canman]

At a restaurant and my mates lasagna is frozen in the middle. Call over the waitress and try to explain in english the problem. She is not getting it so my friend points to the middle of the lasagna and says nam kaeng. She gives him a strange look still not getting it and he points a few more times saying nam kaeng, nam kaeng.

She shrugs here shoulders, takes the lasagna away and returns a few minutes later with the lasgna complete with some added ice cubes.

[Pralaad]

At a restaurant and my mates lasagna is frozen in the middle. Call over the waitress and try to explain in english the problem. She is not getting it so my friend points to the middle of the lasagna and says nam kaeng. She gives him a strange look still not getting it and he points a few more times saying nam kaeng, nam kaeng.

She shrugs here shoulders, takes the lasagna away and returns a few minutes later with the lasgna complete with some added ice cubes.

Lol, that is pretty funny .

For future reference try " Mai suk" means not cooked

[SDM0712]

About ten years ago in a restaurant in Phi Phi, myself and a pal, John both fancied a steak, which is on the menu and advertised on a board outside. We sat down and a waiter comes over with the menus. We both order fillet steak. The chap goes away and comes back about twenty minutes later.

" I'm sorry I'm afraid we don't have anymore fillet steak, how about a rump steak or T-Bone", he tells us

We both decide to have a T-Bone. The waiter does not move, and says very calmly and matter of factly ;

" I'm sorry sir, we don't have anymore T-Bone, would you like to order something else"

OK, we say, we will have a rump steak ( I can't remember if it was rump, but it was another cut)

Again, the waiter does not move and says ;

" I'm sorry sir, we don't have anymore Rump steak, can you chose something else"

Ok we say, what steak to you have ?

" I'm sorry we have no more steak"

During the conversation he did not communicate with any other member of staff. So we had fish.

SDM

[ozsamurai]

I'm reading these stories out to the wife who has been in the service industry, and she is having a great laugh. I don't know how you could possibly think little amusing anecdotal stories can be Thai bashing.

Oz

[Rooo]

I have already posted a public warning about off topic & bickering.

I have deleted 2 further posts. Next time warnings will be issued.

Do not wreck a good thread please.

[Pralaad]

This one happened some 13 or so years ago when i first moved to Thailand.

Went to Big C to do the BIG shopping for TV, Vacuum, etc

Now do keep in mind, i was a newbie and just off the boat, so many concepts did not register at the time.

So in the shop i am, takes me about 30 mins to find someone who could speak some English.

I asked about GOOD TV,

So the sales guy points to Samsung and starts to tell me how good it was. After about 20 mins presentation, i advised him i wanted it, only to be told "solly, no hab"

I say, OK, can you order? the response, "solly can not"

Ok, can i have this one of display? the response, "solly cannot"

Now i am confused, so i say why i can not have this one from display? the response, "because we need to show it"

Right, ok, so show me another good one.

Now am shown a Sony and another 20 or so minute presentation.

Ok, i take it. the response, "solly, no hab"

I say, OK, can you order? the response, "solly can not"

Ok, can i have this one of display? the response, "solly cannot"

OK, why do not you show me what you have, that i can have?

The response, ohh have only 1, this one, Panasonic.

Ok, i say, it is good? The response "noo"

So nO TV, but i still need more things, off we go to Vacuum cleaners.

I advise the same guy, i want good strong one.

Now i am shown to LG and yet another 20 or so mins presentation

Ok, i take it, well guess the response?! You got it

"solly, no hab"

I say, OK, can you order? the response, "solly can not"

Ok, can i have this one of display? the response, "solly cannot"

By that time, i was too tired and pissed off. Shopping ended with coming home empty handed

[benalibina]

In the bus passing Ayutthaya/Bang Pa In on the way to Morchit. I needed to catch a flight from Swampy and was on the way to be late. I asked the lady working in the bus what time the bus was going to arrive at Morchit...definately too late. Problems for me i said. Wait wait she replied. She spoke to bus driver to slow down, opened the door and asked a couple of taxidrivers if they wanted to take me to Swampy. At the 4th one the bus stopped, the girl handed me my suitcase with a big smile and i arrived on time at the airport with the taxi.

A positive thainess story.

[TobyOliver]

Actually while on this fun Topic a word of warning about Big C and there DVD players!

Now I'm a nice guy and I try to give other people a chance to be a good citizen and help me (after all I'm a foreign person in someone else's country and lot of things I don't know)

So here I am in big c looking at DVD players. . . I know roughly what I want a well know brand, durable ect ect

Anyway matey boy in the isle who had been stalking me like a lion does a wounded gazelle jumps in for the sales pitch.

"This Samsung no good mr" I show you best one (points to random brand tacky looking player) "yes this good one, play everything other one only play Thai DVD and no play copy" my friend have this one very good"

in my heart I new I should have been firm and gone with the good old brands we all know and love. . . Alas I gave in, after all, he seemed an expert on the subject of DVD players.

I get home and guess what . . . .

DVD player no work lol

However it did play music CD's so I gave it to my girl friend. Amazingly she was really happy . . I ask her why as it was broken. "Owh yes but it play copy music, very good for price"

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[songhklasid]

I can remember about 28years ago, Patong beach phuket, skandia bungalows ( how many remember them) One breakfast I ordered bacon & eggs, but asked if they could put the eggs on the toast, the waitress looked at me like I just landed from Mars, anyway bacon & eggs came out as normal, then the toast, I thought ah well,no problem & enjoyed breakfast, just as I was about to get up & leave same waitress plonks down a plate of 2 fried eggs on toast, I smiled & stuffed it down, didn't need lunch.

Another time @ my thai wife's farther's house just after we were married, the father in law asked if I'de like some fried chicken, to which I replied yes, next minute I hear this almighty squark, I got up to see what the problem was & found a bird (throat cut ) tied upside down on the clothesline blood everywhere, ah well it's fresh.

[ppmacready]

18 years ago I was invited to my girlfriends condo for lunch with her and 2 of her friends.

They started putting the food on the floor in front of me.

Directly in front of me was placed a single small chicken drum stick.

I was famished and rudely I picked up the leg and ate it in seconds.

Throwing the bone in a bin.

When We Li returned she inquired, where was the chicken leg?

I apologised that I'd just eaten it.

That was for all of us to share she complained!

[hellohello123]

This is not a negative thainess experience, quite a positive one

my first visit to thailand about 10 years ago when I was early 20s, with my at the time girlfriend,

we were walking around looking for the boat terminal near the river, and were lost,

we asked a middle aged lady walking about for directions, she told us directions and we got chatting,

I lived in oz, GF lived in Japan, and we were there for a week

after we told her our countries, she says "my 18yr old daughter went on exchange to Japan recently"

and "my husband is working in Perth as a scuba instructor"

followed by, "would you like to come to my house for lunch"

to be honest, I was freaked out by the coincidences of the countries, and was quite skeptical

so politely declined saying we had to get back to the hotel now to catch a flight out in a few hours.

I still wonder if she was just being genuine, or we'd end up missing a kidney or two had we gone