Help needed to buy a pair of shoes.

[Costas2008]

After 5 years, wearing the same shoes and because big holes started appearing underneath them, I decided to invest an amount of Baht to buy new ones.

I thought, as many members do, to ask the other kind members of TVF some questions regarding my future purchase of shoes.

1. Should they be leather, suede, canvas or plastic?
2. Should they be with laces, Velcro or with elastic on the side?
3. Should they be closed, open, half open or sandals to show my sexy toes?
4. What colour should they be? (you know the colours, I don’t have to write them down for you)
5. How much should I spend? (As long it’s no more than 200Baht)
6. Where can I buy them? (Don’t want to go to those shoe shops, the assistants are not very friendly)

Please, kind members, help me to make a difficult decision, and promise you next time anybody wants to buy an umbrella or a brush to clean their drinking glasses, I will help you back.

[robertthebruce]

200 baht ?? Head for Big C , ...

[Costas2008]

200 baht ?? Head for Big C , ...

Sorry, Big C and Tesco are out of the question.

Farangs are not very friendly in there.

[robertthebruce]

Lost for words now, and shops for you to visit, I remover in the olden days there used to be "Club books" that you can pick from and order from, and they were always reasonably priced.

[Costas2008]

Lost for words now, and shops for you to visit, I remover in the olden days there used to be "Club books" that you can pick from and order from, and they were always reasonably priced.

Don't want to use Mail order, they can get lost in the post.

[mrtoad]

I suggest a pair if imitation Crocs. Cheap, easy to put on as no laces, and wipe clean, so if you have any milking accidents you won't be left with stains. Not sure if they do a pair with L an R on them

[sustento]

Ask Jing if he'll buy you a pair instead of a toaster.

 

Edited August 3, 2014 by sustento

[Costas2008]

Ask Jing if he'll buy you a pair instead of a toaster.

 

 

Wow, these look nice.

Do they come in size 11?

Not very kin on the colour of the toe nails, but I can always improvise.

[Costas2008]

I suggest a pair if imitation Crocs. Cheap, easy to put on as no laces, and wipe clean, so if you have any milking accidents you won't be left with stains. Not sure if they do a pair with L an R on them

Never worn imitations.

Always the real thing

With my 200Baht, I can buy any skin I want.

[Skywalker69]

After 5 years, wearing the same shoes and because big holes started appearing underneath them, I decided to invest an amount of Baht to buy new ones.
I thought, as many members do, to ask the other kind members of TVF some questions regarding my future purchase of shoes.

• Should they be leather, suede, canvas or plastic?
• Should they be with laces, Velcro or with elastic on the side?
• Should they be closed, open, half open or sandals to show my sexy toes?
• What colour should they be? (you know the colours, I don’t have to write them down for you)
• How much should I spend? (As long it’s no more than 200Baht)
• Where can I buy them? (Don’t want to go to those shoe shops, the assistants are not very friendly)

Please, kind members, help me to make a difficult decision, and promise you next time anybody wants to buy an umbrella or a brush to clean their drinking glasses, I will help you back.

Cheezus!!!

[mrtoad]

I suggest a pair if imitation Crocs. Cheap, easy to put on as no laces, and wipe clean, so if you have any milking accidents you won't be left with stains. Not sure if they do a pair with L an R on them

Never worn imitations.
Always the real thing
With my 200Baht, I can buy any skin I want.

200 baht? How about some Badger skin shoes?

[tx22cb]

Suggest you send a letter to the NCPO - their mission is to return happiness to everyone in Thailand, and they will be sure to give you good advice.

Who knows, if you are lucky, you might even be sent a pair of surplus army boots, in your size 11, for free.  Especially considering your staunch support for the events which brought the NCPO into power in the first place. 

[dagobert]

Hey thanks everyone that was a good laugh.

Sent from my GT-P3100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[tonytigerbkk]

 

 

I suggest a pair if imitation Crocs. Cheap, easy to put on as no laces, and wipe clean, so if you have any milking accidents you won't be left with stains. Not sure if they do a pair with L an R on them

Never worn imitations.
Always the real thing
With my 200Baht, I can buy any skin I want.

200 baht? How about some Badger skin shoes?

 

 

That would be dependent on the manufacturer of the badger.

 

Firstly, badger skinned attire is priced internationally in Lithuanian Litas (LTL) as a market trading standard.

 

At today's exchange rate (of 1 LTL to 12.4704 THB) 200 Baht equates to 15.968 Litas (so rounded off to 16 Litas).

For 16 Litas you might be able to get an a pair made out of Asiatic Badger skin but good luck with trying to find a pair Made out of European or Honey Badger skin for less than 560 Litas.

 

Also, I am led to believe that Badger skin shoes are only available in 4 colours, as such:

Black

White

Black & white

Red (if the pelt is turned inside out).

 

Further more, in the United Kingdom, only the Queen of Great Britain and the other bits of the remaining empire is allowed to adorn these items of footwear.

Unfortunately, the only remaining pair of Brock Boots that were owned by Her Maj were destroyed in the Windsor Castle fire, which occurred on the 20th November in the year of our lord 1992.

 

 

Edited August 4, 2014 by tonytigerbkk

[laolover88]

Pratyourname is the place, though I believe it is sometimes called Pratunam
If you go at, say, 12.15 you will be able to try on many shoes and walk away without paying, or anyone noticing, as
at that time the staff have their eyes glued to dishes of somtam

[tonytigerbkk]

Hi again Mr. Toad,

Sorry, I did forget to mention another important factor into the history of Badger attire within the UK.

 

In 1745 the Highlanders of Scotland incited The Jacobite Invasion.

This invasion was made under the pretence that the Scottish overlords were to lead their clans to the inside of the city walls of York.

 

York at that time was the Pompeii of England (sort of an old time Pattaya), where rich English barons, land owners and Catholic Priests went to let their cod pieces down.

The Scottish realized that this would present a perfect business opportunity to vend their home made Haggis.

It should be noted at this stage that in the mid 1700s the kebab had not yet been introduced to far off places such as Inverness and the deep fried Mars bar had yet to be invented.

 

Anyway, as I earlier mentioned, this foray into York was a pretence and was in fact the smokescreen that covered the Badger wars of Nelson Mandela community Center of Bradford.

While Mel Gibson was entertaining the queen of England in York, the other Jacobites were raping the Bradford countryside of all of its badgers.

Our Caledonian cousins were in need of an external pocket to hold their Iron Bru, polo mints, 7-11 stamps, drinking turps, Swiss Army penknives and other essential equipment that was crucial to their survival on the moors.

 

Slipping back over the border, the Jacobites with their booty of badger pelts managed to avoid customs by putting all of their dirty washing to the top of their suitcases and hiding the rolled up badger pelts inside their washing and shaving kits.

 

The Jacobites now back on their own land then turned the Badger pelts into handbags and without being aware of it they managed to invent ‘The Manbag”.

 

However, one of the Jacobites, named Robert The Bruce (which one of his parents gave him the middle name of ’The’?) decided to take the manbag issue one step further and pushed the badger skin manbag to the front of his sarong, so that he was able to cover up his embarrassing status of morning glory, leading to some historians speculating that Robert the Bruce also accidentally invented beastiality necrophilia.

 

Anyway my amphibious friend, Robbie then started off a fashion Trend when he appeared in McLife Magazine, sporting his Sarong and badger pelt front manbag.

Because of the Queen’s earlier game of ‘Hide the Bratwurst’ with Mel Gibson, it was decided that the Jacobites should be allowed by Royal Decree to wear the European Badger as part of their National costume.

Edited August 4, 2014 by tonytigerbkk

[mrtoad]

So what you're generally saying is, that Badger skin shoes are far too expensive for Costas? Maybe an alternative is required

[tonytigerbkk]

So what you're generally saying is, that Badger skin shoes are far too expensive for Costas? Maybe an alternative is required

 

Maybe artificial Gerbil's fur.

[tonytigerbkk]

How about Tap Shoes?

[laolover88]

Why do Greeks need shoes, anyway? In Wales they are, nowadays, not considered the 'done thing' as Beachcomber would
put it
Surely sandals are required?
http://historyofsandals.blogspot.com/2010/12/sandals-arrangement-of-sandal-straps.html

[tonytigerbkk]

Or indeed any of the shoes from the TigerClaw Industries Summer Collection.

[tonytigerbkk]

Mr. Costas,

I have checked our stock and I was able to find one pair of Gerbil skin shoes.

These are from our 2013 Fall Collection but unfortunately the only pair that we have left are in size 6.

The problem here is that Gerbils only grow to a set size and I believe that the only gerbil that ever reached past a size 8 was sold at auction to a Mr. Richard Gere, for his gerbil farm (and traveling circus), which is based on the outskirts of Chicago.

 

As mentioned earlier, these are only size 6 but due to the elastical nature of Gerbil skin, they may well also fit up to a size 9.

 

Attached is a picture of the only remaining Gerbil skin shoes from the TigerClaw Industries' 2013 Fall Collection.

 

 

 

[Costas2008]

Pratyourname is the place, though I believe it is sometimes called Pratunam
If you go at, say, 12.15 you will be able to try on many shoes and walk away without paying, or anyone noticing, as
at that time the staff have their eyes glued to dishes of somtam

Sir, how you DARE suggesting me to go to Pratunam?

Do you know who I am?

A Hi-so, 1/3 Greek, 1/3 Turkish and 1/3 Chinese personality.

Pratunam is for working class people, not for me.

You should have understood my wealth and social status, from the money I'm prepared to spend on these shoes.

Please, refrain from offending me, next time.

[mrtoad]

Mr. Costas,
I have checked our stock and I was able to find one pair of Gerbil skin shoes.
These are from our 2013 Fall Collection but unfortunately the only pair that we have left are in size 6.
The problem here is that Gerbils only grow to a set size and I believe that the only gerbil that ever reached past a size 8 was sold at auction to a Mr. Richard Gere, for his gerbil farm (and traveling circus), which is based on the outskirts of Chicago.
 
As mentioned earlier, these are only size 6 but due to the elastical nature of Gerbil skin, they may well also fit up to a size 9.
 
Attached is a picture of the only remaining Gerbil skin shoes from the TigerClaw Industries' 2013 Fall Collection.
 
 
 

What a lovely paid of shoes, perfect for any Gerbilist.

[Costas2008]

Hi again Mr. Toad,

Sorry, I did forget to mention another important factor into the history of Badger attire within the UK.

 

In 1745 the Highlanders of Scotland incited The Jacobite Invasion.

This invasion was made under the pretence that the Scottish overlords were to lead their clans to the inside of the city walls of York.

 

York at that time was the Pompeii of England (sort of an old time Pattaya), where rich English barons, land owners and Catholic Priests went to let their cod pieces down.

The Scottish realized that this would present a perfect business opportunity to vend their home made Haggis.

It should be noted at this stage that in the mid 1700s the kebab had not yet been introduced to far off places such as Inverness and the deep fried Mars bar had yet to be invented.

 

Anyway, as I earlier mentioned, this foray into York was a pretence and was in fact the smokescreen that covered the Badger wars of Nelson Mandela community Center of Bradford.

While Mel Gibson was entertaining the queen of England in York, the other Jacobites were raping the Bradford countryside of all of its badgers.

Our Caledonian cousins were in need of an external pocket to hold their Iron Bru, polo mints, 7-11 stamps, drinking turps, Swiss Army penknives and other essential equipment that was crucial to their survival on the moors.

 

Slipping back over the border, the Jacobites with their booty of badger pelts managed to avoid customs by putting all of their dirty washing to the top of their suitcases and hiding the rolled up badger pelts inside their washing and shaving kits.

 

The Jacobites now back on their own land then turned the Badger pelts into handbags and without being aware of it they managed to invent ‘The Manbag”.

 

However, one of the Jacobites, named Robert The Bruce (which one of his parents gave him the middle name of ’The’?) decided to take the manbag issue one step further and pushed the badger skin manbag to the front of his sarong, so that he was able to cover up his embarrassing status of morning glory, leading to some historians speculating that Robert the Bruce also accidentally invented beastiality necrophilia.

 

Anyway my amphibious friend, Robbie then started off a fashion Trend when he appeared in McLife Magazine, sporting his Sarong and badger pelt front manbag.

Because of the Queen’s earlier game of ‘Hide the Bratwurst’ with Mel Gibson, it was decided that the Jacobites should be allowed by Royal Decree to wear the European Badger as part of their National costume.

 

What has Mel Gibson, got to do with my shoes?

He's already dead, and his head and body are scattered in the 4 corners of England, as suggested by the good king of England, and quite rightly so.

Just a question, Is England square?

Please refrain of going off topic, because I'm tempted to understand your topic about Marathon and Snickers.

For the life of me, can't understand what your problem is there.

Again.............I'm Greek.

[Costas2008]

Mr. Costas,

I have checked our stock and I was able to find one pair of Gerbil skin shoes.

These are from our 2013 Fall Collection but unfortunately the only pair that we have left are in size 6.

The problem here is that Gerbils only grow to a set size and I believe that the only gerbil that ever reached past a size 8 was sold at auction to a Mr. Richard Gere, for his gerbil farm (and traveling circus), which is based on the outskirts of Chicago.

 

As mentioned earlier, these are only size 6 but due to the elastical nature of Gerbil skin, they may well also fit up to a size 9.

 

Attached is a picture of the only remaining Gerbil skin shoes from the TigerClaw Industries' 2013 Fall Collection.

 

 

 

I'm extremely sad now.

You turned my Gerbils into slippers.

I had, so much fun playing with them before, now you deprived me of any pleasure in life.

Why , such cruel people exist on this earth?

[Costas2008]

 

Mr. Costas,
I have checked our stock and I was able to find one pair of Gerbil skin shoes.
These are from our 2013 Fall Collection but unfortunately the only pair that we have left are in size 6.
The problem here is that Gerbils only grow to a set size and I believe that the only gerbil that ever reached past a size 8 was sold at auction to a Mr. Richard Gere, for his gerbil farm (and traveling circus), which is based on the outskirts of Chicago.
 
As mentioned earlier, these are only size 6 but due to the elastical nature of Gerbil skin, they may well also fit up to a size 9.
 
Attached is a picture of the only remaining Gerbil skin shoes from the TigerClaw Industries' 2013 Fall Collection.
 
 
 

What a lovely paid of shoes, perfect for any Gerbilist.

 

Why are you supporting Mr Tony, MrToad?

Always thought you are a kind man and not a cruel one like him.

And be very careful in the future.

I am the Financial Director of the TGAU corporation, and your salary depends on me.

Think, how you are going to support your wife, 4 mia Nois and 10 children if I fire you.

[mrtoad]

Costas, what fantasy job is this that you claim?

[tonytigerbkk]

Yes I agree, your none understanding of my Marathon/Snickers post is beacause you are Greek and for once I say this without making fun of your nationality.

The Chocolate bar that you know as Snickers has always been known in mainland Europe as Snickers (as far as I am aware).

However, in the UK market it was always known as Marathon.

Then in 1990, overnight 'Mars' changed the name of our beloved Marathon to Snickers so that their advertising campaigns were international (think of sponsoring international sports events).

Quite rightly, this upset a lot of British people and still does to this day.

 

Hopefully, this clarifies my post about Marathons and Snickers.

However, due to patenting issues, I would be unable to discuss any of the production process of Ant Cheese.

 

[Costas2008]

Yes I agree, your none understanding of my Marathon/Snickers post is beacause you are Greek and for once I say this without making fun of your nationality.

The Chocolate bar that you know as Snickers has always been known in mainland Europe as Snickers (as far as I am aware).

However, in the UK market it was always known as Marathon.

Then in 1990, overnight 'Mars' changed the name of our beloved Marathon to Snickers so that their advertising campaigns were international (think of sponsoring international sports events).

Quite rightly, this upset a lot of British people and still does to this day.

 

Hopefully, this clarifies my post about Marathons and Snickers.

However, due to patenting issues, I would be unable to discuss any of the production process of Ant Cheese.

 

Thank you Mr Tony, now I'm clear.

I do agree, a very important issue, for the English.

Greeks would also be offended if somebody renamed the Greek Badger cheese, to Turkish Badger cheese.

They tried to do it with the Greek coffee, but didn't succeed.