Thai mothers interaction with children much different from Western women?

[Reggae rancher]

My 4 year old is 1/2 Thailand and 1/2 American. It is obvious she has both DNA. My wife sleeps with her even now at age 4. That is bad because she is 1/2 American. This has caused a significant bond between the 2. The child has trouble doing well when mommy is not around. Mommy also makes a huge mistake to tell the child that the child is number 1. This will scar the kid for life. The mother must make sure the father is number one. If not, then the child (girl) will not develop a good relationship later in life with men.
My wife (and most Thai women) are totally clueless with this type of talk.

She insisted in sending the then 3 year old to school 5 days a week for 8 hours a day. Thet is torture for American kids but ok for Thai kids. At age 4 my daughter fights hard not to go to school. she only goes 2 or 3 days a week because she 'hates school'.

You will have trouble raising your child with a thai woman - peroid. Not your fault, not her fault, the fault lies with the child being 1/2 Thai. If I had to do it all over i would have gotten the baby into her bedroom and my wife would not have stayed with her for years - only months at the beginning. It seems to me, we Americans know much more about raising children. Enough..

[Reggae rancher]

Wow

[David48]

... It seems to me, we Americans know much more about raising children. Enough..

 

.

[kleelof]

1/2 American....Do you mean Native American?

[kleelof]

 

My 4 year old is 1/2 Thailand and 1/2 American. It is obvious she has both DNA. My wife sleeps with her even now at age 4. That is bad because she is 1/2 American. This has caused a significant bond between the 2. The child has trouble doing well when mommy is not around. Mommy also makes a huge mistake to tell the child that the child is number 1. This will scar the kid for life. The mother must make sure the father is number one. If not, then the child (girl) will not develop a good relationship later in life with men.
My wife (and most Thai women) are totally clueless with this type of talk.

She insisted in sending the then 3 year old to school 5 days a week for 8 hours a day. Thet is torture for American kids but ok for Thai kids. At age 4 my daughter fights hard not to go to school. she only goes 2 or 3 days a week because she 'hates school'.

You will have trouble raising your child with a thai woman - peroid. Not your fault, not her fault, the fault lies with the child being 1/2 Thai. If I had to do it all over i would have gotten the baby into her bedroom and my wife would not have stayed with her for years - only months at the beginning. It seems to me, we Americans know much more about raising children. Enough..

 

You do know, Thais have been raising children MUCH MUCH longer than Americans have and just as long as Europeans and everyone else in the world. And they seem to manage just fine.

[canuckamuck]

In my experience I would say that educational play and interaction is limited. A lot of learning opportunities are missed as babysitting mode is usually engaged. When I am back in the west I am stunned and jealous of the level of quality interaction I see, and the kids often seem years ahead intellectually.

Maybe that is not everything in life, but it sure must be a leg up.

[boughtoncestrian]

ebean001                  In my opinion for what it is worth your idea of bringing children up is totally wrong. My wife and I have a 7yr old daughter and my wife looks after her very well. Every morning before going to school she teaches her maths and english. When she returns my wife .ensures she does her homework and again maths and english. My daughter speaks and understands english very well, and is high in her grades in maths. Bearing in mind she leaves home at 6.45am to travel by bus 25k to school and returns home at 5.30pm. I dont think many british or american kids would put with that 

[benalibina]

In my experience I would say that educational play and interaction is limited. A lot of learning opportunities are missed as babysitting mode is usually engaged. When I am back in the west I am stunned and jealous of the level of quality interaction I see, and the kids often seem years ahead intellectually.
Maybe that is not everything in life, but it sure must be a leg up.

I fully concur with your observation. I have experienced it myself. Kids need to be happy is in general, IMO, the thai, rural, way of thinking. Happiness can be achieved though on many different ways. The best way is to do educational reading and playing with them. Observe the kids and let them develop with corrections on their behaviour. Critisize, on a soft way, and compliment them. Give them responsability and teach them the shades of grey, in life. Let them think and thus develop them into their own personality.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The Ops first sentence is true
His 2nd sentence is is false 
We have a 2 year old who has been walking since 10 months old. My wife is devoted to him.

and yet,
I'm looking after a 15 yo girl where the mother walked away at age 3m, left with gran, then gran handed her to me.
and a boy age 2, mom left him with me one day last year and hasn't been back.

Not all mothers are equal. Edited August 10, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[ableguy]

Do you seriously think all Thai women interact with their children in one culturally inculcated way and all western women deal with their children in a uniform, but markedly non-Thai way?

This, of course, based on your extensive study of a significant sample taken from the millions of women belonging to your "us versus them" grouping of women. This your first time away from home, is it?
 
I'm sure both western women and Thai women interact with their children in a myriad of different ways as individuals and neither set of women follow some set of instructions based on their race or nationality.

Calm down he was simply offering a general personal opinion,not a bloody national census.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I'm sure both western women and Thai women interact with their children in a myriad of different ways as individuals and neither set of women follow some set of instructions based on their race or nationality.

Would like to point out, in the west, if you don't follow "some set of instructions", social services tend to take the children off you. Those instructions are not based on nationality or race, but country of residence.

[kleelof]

I'm sure both western women and Thai women interact with their children in a myriad of different ways as individuals and neither set of women follow some set of instructions based on their race or nationality.

Actually, most women DO raise their kids based on their culture. They get mothering advice from their mothers and other women who got it from their mothers and other women and so on and so on and so on.

 

This is a fact that has been studied by anthropologists. There are many examples.

 

1) Women in some African cultures are taught you have to teach your kid to sit-up or they won't learn, so they will often build a little chair from dirt on the ground to help the kid learn to sit-up.

 

2) Western women(and I think this is more for Protestant culture) are told not to pick-up their baby too much when it cries because it will make the baby cry more because it expects a response. On the flip side, many Asian women are taught to respond to the crying immediately.

 

There are many many other examples you can probably find with Google.

 

Of course, this is not to say that all women follow their cultural rules. But, they at least follow some of them.

 

As for the OP's statement. He is full of crap and is just making unjust assumptions about Thais and Thai culture  based on his limited experience or prejudice. I know from my own experience that most Thai women are as good a mothers as anywhere else in the world. Sure, some drop the ball, but tell me a place where there aren't mothers who don't.

[benalibina]

I'm sure both western women and Thai women interact with their children in a myriad of different ways as individuals and neither set of women follow some set of instructions based on their race or nationality.

Actually, most women DO raise their kids based on their culture. They get mothering advice from their mothers and other women who got it from their mothers and other women and so on and so on and so on.
 
This is a fact that has been studied by anthropologists. There are many examples.
 
1) Women in some African cultures are taught you have to teach your kid to sit-up or they won't learn, so they will often build a little chair from dirt on the ground to help the kid learn to sit-up.
 
2) Western women(and I think this is more for Protestant culture) are told not to pick-up their baby too much when it cries because it will make the baby cry more because it expects a response. On the flip side, many Asian women are taught to respond to the crying immediately.
 
There are many many other examples you can probably find with Google.
 
Of course, this is not to say that all women follow their cultural rules. But, they at least follow some of them.
 
As for the OP's statement. He is full of crap and is just making unjust assumptions about Thais and Thai culture  based on his limited experience or prejudice. I know from my own experience that most Thai women are as good a mothers as anywhere else in the world. Sure, some drop the ball, but tell me a place where there aren't mothers who don't.

Limited experience judges limited experience by the looks of it.

It all depends on the parameters one sets regarding raising kids.

Thai women are decent caretakers. Raising kids, vision, no way jose, have hardly seen it.

But this is just my limited point of view of what i experienced and of what i have seen personally and heard from others about it. Its on a way kids raising kids. Edited August 11, 2014 by benalibina