Perfect Thai Girl

[jamman]

Thanks all for the great thread and encouraging posts. Like another poster on this thread, my experiences have not been as positive as yours. I'm not sure why some jumped on him for mentioning how different his experiences were. But it is very encouraging to hear so many good stories. One person mentioned that failure to find a good one may be due to looking for love in the wrong places, while a "negative" poster thought that some good job and social position and youth and handsome appearance must be required to get such a wonderful woman.

As a single person looking for what you lucky guys have found, I am careful not look at something too easy and too compromised. But I marvel at all your many stories of success. It certainly is good to hear of. The "negative" posters experience is also not to be discounted - a lot of us have tried and tried, but have not found what you guys have, so you certainly are fortunate and blessed.

Edited July 10, 2006 by jamman

[Chopper]

Just found this topic and it may have veered too far off now, but I will add my story. I have been married nearly 36 years to the most perfect woman (Thai, naturally). She has borne me two children that are now grown and doing well, with three grandchildren. Our relationship has gone through phases, with the first being mutual attraction, sex and having fun. The second came when the first kid came, with the characteristics being mutual attraction, sex and having less fun (responsibility intervened). As we aged, we are entering the third phase, with less parental responsibility, but still retaining mutual attraction and sex (although I might offer some criticism here, but maybe not ).

Throughout all of this we have been partners, friends and lovers. I have never entertained a moment where straying was an issue. She is everything to me and has provided me with a life that is very rewarding. Now it is her time ... we are nearing retirement and expect to spend a good share of time in Thailand. Her family is amazing ... great people, no sick water buffalo (quite the opposite), and a joy to be around. I could not ask for better, and I cannot imagine life without her.

If there was a competition for the perfect wife, I would nominate mine immediately.

Sorry if this is sappy, but it is the truth. When we married, I didn't know it would be forever, but now I cannot imagine life without us together.

Mr Red, congratulations. I wonder if such longevity is the exception rather than the rule in today's society?

That said reading through this thread I cannot help but think that the topic is a little too self indulgent. (No offence to the OP if you are the easily offended type). Regarding the subject at hand having an opposing viewpoint does not imply negativity in my book. It would be rather boring if everyone agreed all of the time methinks.

I am in what I consider to be a committed, stable and happy relationship; it is not my want to extol the innumerable virtues of my Mrs, (putting up with me for one would be a good start though).

soic,

'Wanting to tear down a positive thread because people are praising their relationships, that speaks of more insecurity that I can imagine. If there is something we want and can't have, we always try to find a negative about it, or a reason we don't need it. That is what I see from Noel, I pity him.'

Chill out mate, read back your words above. Pretty sensationalist if you ask me.

I see a valid viewpoint (perhaps tongue in cheek) that seems to have hit a few raw nerves. Big deal!

Ho hum, a novel thread, contentious and upsetting as it maybe for some.

[soic]

No more sensationalist than they inferring that we were insecure. I agree with you, it may have been a bit much. If anyone wants to participate in this thread they're welcome, although, I would enjoy for once, on this rare occassion to keep it positive. There is enough negativity in the world. Can't we have one thread, just once that can remain positive? Those with opposing views or those that don't like the virtue of what we've said, should start a negative thread and see how many people they can get to participate. Many I'm sure.

[tourleadersi]

I am in what I consider to be a committed, stable and happy relationship; it is not my want to extol the innumerable virtues of my Mrs, (putting up with me for one would be a good start though).

Yeah. MY wife deserves a medal for putting up with me. I wonder how long the thai wives lists would be? Mind you I did stay up until 5am this morning to meet her off the train with a big bunch of flowers. Brownie points in the bank!

[jamman]

No more sensationalist than they inferring that we were insecure. I agree with you, it may have been a bit much. If anyone wants to participate in this thread they're welcome, although, I would enjoy for once, on this rare occassion to keep it positive. There is enough negativity in the world. Can't we have one thread, just once that can remain positive? Those with opposing views or those that don't like the virtue of what we've said, should start a negative thread and see how many people they can get to participate. Many I'm sure.

I really like reading all these positive stories. But isn't the quest for black and white with no black and only all white a manic/depressive attachment? I agree that looking for the best leads to greater happiness. But avoiding negativity just leads to mood swings, doesn't it? Because life has nuances.

[tourleadersi]

We are not cotton wooling ourselves and trying to avoid negativity. All some of us are saying is that just in one place we would like it to stay out. If your life was full of non stop rock music, wouldn't it be nice to just relax in a quiet park once in a while?

I am pretty sure we are all fully aware of all the negative aspects of Thai-Farang relationships, it seems to dominate so many boards and threads.

[jamman]

We are not cotton wooling ourselves and trying to avoid negativity. All some of us are saying is that just in one place we would like it to stay out. If your life was full of non stop rock music, wouldn't it be nice to just relax in a quiet park once in a while?

I am pretty sure we are all fully aware of all the negative aspects of Thai-Farang relationships, it seems to dominate so many boards and threads.

Fair enough. But for curious guys like me who haven't found your success, we have to wonder how, and so may be tempted to probe the uncomfortable places again in search of the clues to your successes. Are there any patterns in your success, or is it all random? Are your wonderful mates from a certain type of family? And do you guys stand out in certain ways, like with age or wealth or anything? Sorry if I'm intruding off topic, but I want what you guys have.

[Noel]

I don't think that any of us have been saying that our significant others are "Perfect" in the zero flaws sense, in so much as we're saying that they're "Perfect" for us. I read through all of the negatives from Noel. That fella has issues. I'm more of the opinion that to be willing to go online and state proudly that you have a wonderful partner that is "perfect" for you is far from insecure. Wanting to tear down a positive thread because people are praising their relationships, that speaks of more insecurity that I can imagine. If there is something we want and can't have, we always try to find a negative about it, or a reason we don't need it. That is what I see from Noel, I pity him.

Dear oh dear, talk about an overactive imagination and such a thin skin!

Because I do not feel the need to get all misty eyed and gush out self-serving lovey-dovey prose about how wonderful my girlfriend is, then that must mean I am not in a position to do so?

How little do you know…

Save your pity for someone who is in need of it.

[dvk1951]

I met the perfect Thai girl last year.

She wanted nothing to do with me.

Priceless

[soic]

That's an easy one... I'm sure that we would all be willing to respond in that vein. That's a positive. I was referring to the idea that to complain or talk in negatives would have been a downer. But to ask how we've managed it would be perfectly welcome. I'd suggest a new thread, so that you can get just that information. If you don't start it, I'll start it for you... how's that?

We are not cotton wooling ourselves and trying to avoid negativity. All some of us are saying is that just in one place we would like it to stay out. If your life was full of non stop rock music, wouldn't it be nice to just relax in a quiet park once in a while?

I am pretty sure we are all fully aware of all the negative aspects of Thai-Farang relationships, it seems to dominate so many boards and threads.

Fair enough. But for curious guys like me who haven't found your success, we have to wonder how, and so may be tempted to probe the uncomfortable places again in search of the clues to your successes. Are there any patterns in your success, or is it all random? Are your wonderful mates from a certain type of family? And do you guys stand out in certain ways, like with age or wealth or anything? Sorry if I'm intruding off topic, but I want what you guys have.

[jamman]

That's an easy one... I'm sure that we would all be willing to respond in that vein. That's a positive. I was referring to the idea that to complain or talk in negatives would have been a downer. But to ask how we've managed it would be perfectly welcome. I'd suggest a new thread, so that you can get just that information. If you don't start it, I'll start it for you... how's that?

We are not cotton wooling ourselves and trying to avoid negativity. All some of us are saying is that just in one place we would like it to stay out. If your life was full of non stop rock music, wouldn't it be nice to just relax in a quiet park once in a while?

I am pretty sure we are all fully aware of all the negative aspects of Thai-Farang relationships, it seems to dominate so many boards and threads.

Fair enough. But for curious guys like me who haven't found your success, we have to wonder how, and so may be tempted to probe the uncomfortable places again in search of the clues to your successes. Are there any patterns in your success, or is it all random? Are your wonderful mates from a certain type of family? And do you guys stand out in certain ways, like with age or wealth or anything? Sorry if I'm intruding off topic, but I want what you guys have.

Yes, please do, that would be great.

[tourleadersi]

We are not cotton wooling ourselves and trying to avoid negativity. All some of us are saying is that just in one place we would like it to stay out. If your life was full of non stop rock music, wouldn't it be nice to just relax in a quiet park once in a while?

I am pretty sure we are all fully aware of all the negative aspects of Thai-Farang relationships, it seems to dominate so many boards and threads.

Fair enough. But for curious guys like me who haven't found your success, we have to wonder how, and so may be tempted to probe the uncomfortable places again in search of the clues to your successes. Are there any patterns in your success, or is it all random? Are your wonderful mates from a certain type of family? And do you guys stand out in certain ways, like with age or wealth or anything? Sorry if I'm intruding off topic, but I want what you guys have.

Mate it is just down to pure luck. I have dated women from all kinds of backgrounds, ages, races and wealth. What I did was give it a couple of weeks and if it didn't feel right then I would break it off. It is just as important to not fear being alone as it is to not fear making a mistake and a complete ass of yourself. I am by no means a good looking guy, I have perhaps dodged too many salads and certainly am not well off. I am neither young nor old. Perhaps the one thing that ensured my success was that I was prepared to risk everything, and give it 100%. I lost many times before I won, but all I do now is savour the win. Good luck.

[Donz]

Just found this topic and it may have veered too far off now, but I will add my story. I have been married nearly 36 years to the most perfect woman (Thai, naturally). She has borne me two children that are now grown and doing well, with three grandchildren. Our relationship has gone through phases, with the first being mutual attraction, sex and having fun. The second came when the first kid came, with the characteristics being mutual attraction, sex and having less fun (responsibility intervened). As we aged, we are entering the third phase, with less parental responsibility, but still retaining mutual attraction and sex (although I might offer some criticism here, but maybe not ).

Throughout all of this we have been partners, friends and lovers. I have never entertained a moment where straying was an issue. She is everything to me and has provided me with a life that is very rewarding. Now it is her time ... we are nearing retirement and expect to spend a good share of time in Thailand. Her family is amazing ... great people, no sick water buffalo (quite the opposite), and a joy to be around. I could not ask for better, and I cannot imagine life without her.

If there was a competition for the perfect wife, I would nominate mine immediately.

Sorry if this is sappy, but it is the truth. When we married, I didn't know it would be forever, but now I cannot imagine life without us together.

Mr Red, congratulations. I wonder if such longevity is the exception rather than the rule in today's society?

That said reading through this thread I cannot help but think that the topic is a little too self indulgent. (No offence to the OP if you are the easily offended type). Regarding the subject at hand having an opposing viewpoint does not imply negativity in my book. It would be rather boring if everyone agreed all of the time methinks.

I am in what I consider to be a committed, stable and happy relationship; it is not my want to extol the innumerable virtues of my Mrs, (putting up with me for one would be a good start though).

soic,

'Wanting to tear down a positive thread because people are praising their relationships, that speaks of more insecurity that I can imagine. If there is something we want and can't have, we always try to find a negative about it, or a reason we don't need it. That is what I see from Noel, I pity him.'

Chill out mate, read back your words above. Pretty sensationalist if you ask me.

I see a valid viewpoint (perhaps tongue in cheek) that seems to have hit a few raw nerves. Big deal!

Ho hum, a novel thread, contentious and upsetting as it maybe for some.

Im not offended at all, and opposing viewpoints are fine, I was just responding to someone callimg me insecure and they did ask the question to why I would post this.

Im also sure we like to give it to each other now and then, we see it all the time on here, it what makes this place better, I love giving it to Moonchaser but have to admit i havent done it much, doesnt mean I dont like the guy, I just like how he responds because he loves taking the piss out aswell.

[Charma]

Thanks all for the great thread and encouraging posts. Like another poster on this thread, my experiences have not been as positive as yours. I'm not sure why some jumped on him for mentioning how different his experiences were. But it is very encouraging to hear so many good stories. One person mentioned that failure to find a good one may be due to looking for love in the wrong places, while a "negative" poster thought that some good job and social position and youth and handsome appearance must be required to get such a wonderful woman.

As a single person looking for what you lucky guys have found, I am careful not look at something too easy and too compromised. But I marvel at all your many stories of success. It certainly is good to hear of. The "negative" posters experience is also not to be discounted - a lot of us have tried and tried, but have not found what you guys have, so you certainly are fortunate and blessed.

Of course we know that life is not all sugary sweet and perfect. I think what most posters here were trying to do was add some balance to the constant stream of negative stereotyping of Thai women and falang/Thai relationships. If you read this forum regularly, you would be forgiven for thinking that all Thai women were money grabbing con artists who hate westerners and have no intention entering into meaningful relationships with them, but merely to steal all their cash!

This thread has shown that there is another side to Thai/falang relationships that is worth knoiwing about. Yes, be aware that there are golddiggers out there, but you don't need to be completely cynical about the idea of finding happiness.

Regarding "negative" posters, there is a world of difference between the posts of Noel and the one above by Jamman. Jamman was speaking honestly about his own experiences and was reflecting a good point that not everyone finds a blissful marriage (it took me three attempts!).

Noel, ....ah Noel, well you gotta look at his motivation here. What was the purpose of his thread? It could have been:

1. To warn that there are dangers out there for unsuspecting falangs

2. To state that we must be making this up because good Falang/Thai relationships cannot happen.

Well he didn't mention number 1 and since he has subsequently mentioned that he is in fact in a good relationship, number 2 is out. This leaves only one possiblemotivation left. Rather than tell us about his good relationship, Noel thought he would seek kudos and point out that we are all insecure for posting this stuff whilst he, of course, is in a secure and happy relationship.

There are those that use this forum to exchange information and ideas on all things Thai. There are others that see it as an opportunity to attack other people in an attempt to feel better about their own lives. Sad but true.

[john1000]

Thanks all for the great thread and encouraging posts. Like another poster on this thread, my experiences have not been as positive as yours. I'm not sure why some jumped on him for mentioning how different his experiences were. But it is very encouraging to hear so many good stories. One person mentioned that failure to find a good one may be due to looking for love in the wrong places, while a "negative" poster thought that some good job and social position and youth and handsome appearance must be required to get such a wonderful woman.

As a single person looking for what you lucky guys have found, I am careful not look at something too easy and too compromised. But I marvel at all your many stories of success. It certainly is good to hear of. The "negative" posters experience is also not to be discounted - a lot of us have tried and tried, but have not found what you guys have, so you certainly are fortunate and blessed.

Of course we know that life is not all sugary sweet and perfect. I think what most posters here were trying to do was add some balance to the constant stream of negative stereotyping of Thai women and falang/Thai relationships. If you read this forum regularly, you would be forgiven for thinking that all Thai women were money grabbing con artists who hate westerners and have no intention entering into meaningful relationships with them, but merely to steal all their cash!

This thread has shown that there is another side to Thai/falang relationships that is worth knoiwing about. Yes, be aware that there are golddiggers out there, but you don't need to be completely cynical about the idea of finding happiness.

Regarding "negative" posters, there is a world of difference between the posts of Noel and the one above by Jamman. Jamman was speaking honestly about his own experiences and was reflecting a good point that not everyone finds a blissful marriage (it took me three attempts!).

Noel, ....ah Noel, well you gotta look at his motivation here. What was the purpose of his thread? It could have been:

1. To warn that there are dangers out there for unsuspecting falangs

2. To state that we must be making this up because good Falang/Thai relationships cannot happen.

Well he didn't mention number 1 and since he has subsequently mentioned that he is in fact in a good relationship, number 2 is out. This leaves only one possiblemotivation left. Rather than tell us about his good relationship, Noel thought he would seek kudos and point out that we are all insecure for posting this stuff whilst he, of course, is in a secure and happy relationship.

There are those that use this forum to exchange information and ideas on all things Thai. There are others that see it as an opportunity to attack other people in an attempt to feel better about their own lives. Sad but true.

All things in life are transient so all those who are happy, enjoy while you can. This is not negative, but life changes ( albeit sometimes for the better )

[Noel]

Noel, ....ah Noel, well you gotta look at his motivation here. What was the purpose of his thread? It could have been:

1. To warn that there are dangers out there for unsuspecting falangs

2. To state that we must be making this up because good Falang/Thai relationships cannot happen.

Well he didn't mention number 1 and since he has subsequently mentioned that he is in fact in a good relationship, number 2 is out. This leaves only one possiblemotivation left. Rather than tell us about his good relationship, Noel thought he would seek kudos and point out that we are all insecure for posting this stuff whilst he, of course, is in a secure and happy relationship.

There are those that use this forum to exchange information and ideas on all things Thai. There are others that see it as an opportunity to attack other people in an attempt to feel better about their own lives. Sad but true.

Good grief, where do you people come from!

You refer to me starting a thread and ask as to what was its purpose.

Would you kindly direct me to ‘my’ thread as I have no recollection of having started it.

You then go on to give your comically shallow view as to the reasons for me starting a thread that I clearly did not start.

Your limited outlook/powers of deduction then compel you to conclude that there can be only one explanation for me starting the thread that I did not start.

You accuse me of seeking kudos from others’ insecurity. That very notion is at best bizarre.

I could crow on ad nauseam about how wonderful my girl is, but why on earth would I want to do so? Self-gratification from sought after compliments given by people in awe of me holds no appeal. Moreover, I do not need the self-reassurance that clearly such an action would imply.

And as for your high words about those who exchange information and ideas on all things Thai, I might well post my story on the new thread started for that purpose, but will it help anyone?

I very much doubt it and suspect it will piss some of you off.

Hmmm, that actually seems like a good reason to post it…

[Charma]

Sorry Noel for my error. For "thread" read "posts". Everything else stands.

[Donz]

Noel, ....ah Noel, well you gotta look at his motivation here. What was the purpose of his thread? It could have been:

1. To warn that there are dangers out there for unsuspecting falangs

2. To state that we must be making this up because good Falang/Thai relationships cannot happen.

Well he didn't mention number 1 and since he has subsequently mentioned that he is in fact in a good relationship, number 2 is out. This leaves only one possiblemotivation left. Rather than tell us about his good relationship, Noel thought he would seek kudos and point out that we are all insecure for posting this stuff whilst he, of course, is in a secure and happy relationship.

There are those that use this forum to exchange information and ideas on all things Thai. There are others that see it as an opportunity to attack other people in an attempt to feel better about their own lives. Sad but true.

Good grief, where do you people come from!

You refer to me starting a thread and ask as to what was its purpose.

Would you kindly direct me to ‘my’ thread as I have no recollection of having started it.

You then go on to give your comically shallow view as to the reasons for me starting a thread that I clearly did not start.

Your limited outlook/powers of deduction then compel you to conclude that there can be only one explanation for me starting the thread that I did not start.

You accuse me of seeking kudos from others’ insecurity. That very notion is at best bizarre.

I could crow on ad nauseam about how wonderful my girl is, but why on earth would I want to do so? Self-gratification from sought after compliments given by people in awe of me holds no appeal. Moreover, I do not need the self-reassurance that clearly such an action would imply.

And as for your high words about those who exchange information and ideas on all things Thai, I might well post my story on the new thread started for that purpose, but will it help anyone?

I very much doubt it and suspect it will piss some of you off.

Hmmm, that actually seems like a good reason to post it…

Mate you just dont get it do you