Please help me, with my wife's kids.

[Evolare]

Costas have you and you wife asked them what they want? If you can't communicate with them i would suggest you to be more hands off with them specially at that age. Let them make their own mistakes if they haven't learned anything after everything from you have done. The one thing left to do is to let them make their own mistakes and take more responsibility for themselves, maybe that's the only way they will learn. But they will also have to take the consequences of their own actions whatever that entails.

[Costas2008]

I would like to express my gratitude and say a big Thank you to all the members that contributed in my thread and gave advice to my personal problem.

There are still good people out there that care about fellow human beings and I am proud to be a member of this forum.

Benalibinia, I owe you a public apology for my answer on your marriage thread, it had nothing to do with your kind self but with my rotten mood at the moment.

I regret what I wrote and I humbly ask your forgiveness.

Poweratradio, I did specify at the beginning of my OP that you can hit me as hard as you like with your answers.

I know that some of my answers are controversial, but this is not because I am of bad nature, this is how I think and this is how I express myself, without trying to hide under a bush or live under a bridge.

Some people do like my answers some people don't, but you can never please everyone all the time (don't remember who said that)

Anyway, thank you very much everybody and I promise you I will never stop trying to improve my relations with the boys without compromising too much, my own and my dear wife's life.

[jimbeam1]

I sympathise with your problem.I know for sure that I would not have your patients. At their ages I would just leave them to get on with their own lives. Prrovide as little as possible for them. Tell the wife how it is and also tell her if they <deleted> up big time, they are out of here.

I am not trying to give you advice, just saying how it would be with. I/you do not need that cr@p.

jb1

[spidermike007]

It appears that they are incredibly shallow human beings, to have that level of judgment and animosity toward you, simply because you are a foreigner? Simple minded, with very little to bring to the table. Shame they were not guided from an early age. Best to steer clear of them, and to ignore them as much as possible. Not a high quality of life. If it were me, I would probably cut my losses, and leave my wife. I do not have much patience for mindless nonsense.

[Mudcrab]

I would like to express my gratitude and say a big Thank you to all the members that contributed in my thread and gave advice to my personal problem.

There are still good people out there that care about fellow human beings and I am proud to be a member of this forum.

Benalibinia, I owe you a public apology for my answer on your marriage thread, it had nothing to do with your kind self but with my rotten mood at the moment.

I regret what I wrote and I humbly ask your forgiveness.

Poweratradio, I did specify at the beginning of my OP that you can hit me as hard as you like with your answers.

I know that some of my answers are controversial, but this is not because I am of bad nature, this is how I think and this is how I express myself, without trying to hide under a bush or live under a bridge.

Some people do like my answers some people don't, but you can never please everyone all the time (don't remember who said that)

Anyway, thank you very much everybody and I promise you I will never stop trying to improve my relations with the boys without compromising too much, my own and my dear wife's life.

Costas old mate......what are the ages of you and your good lady wife?

It could have been a generational issue initially perhaps?

I know it doesn't sound nice but kids can be cruel and this may have become an issue causing resentment towards you.

My brother, 61 and his Philippine wife, 42 have just adopted her sisters 9th baby to raise as their own. He will be the classical grandfather picking up the baby at school.....tongues will wag.

The boys may have copped some teasing over the years.

[Mudcrab]

It appears that they are incredibly shallow human beings, to have that level of judgment and animosity toward you, simply because you are a foreigner? Simple minded, with very little to bring to the table. Shame they were not guided from an early age. Best to steer clear of them, and to ignore them as much as possible. Not a high quality of life. If it were me, I would probably cut my losses, and leave my wife. I do not have much patience for mindless nonsense.

or as much commitment to the woman you married and professed to love either, apparently.

Who are the "they" and "them" you quote.

Thais or just women in general?

[YeahSiam]

Feel for the OP but his is just one of countless cases where older farangs make bad choices.

They marry the first 30 year younger local woman who gives them a few coma-inducing orgasms without considering the kids and how they might complicate matters.

TBH, if I was a one-parent kid, I'd be seriously hostile to some old farang relic bouncing my mother off the headboard every night and then sending me off to a boarding school to shunt me out of his way.

Theres nothing he can do now. He should be thankful he's not one of those idiots whose stepkids pretend to like them up for handouts for phones and m/bikes but still call him "falang" in front of his face.

[rhodie]

Wow, shows how we all have our crosses to bear. Costas, you have always been one of the positive light hearted posters on this board that posts without malice.

Really sorry to hear of your problem. It is never easy taking on kids and your wife's seem to be from a pretty bad crop. I think you will just have to let them run themselves into the ground. From the little you have posted, my only comment is that you have given too much.

Stop giving, as they will hate you no more, but life will be a little harder for them.

May it get easier for you with time. Good luck.

[rhodie]

Feel for the OP but his is just one of countless cases where older farangs make bad choices. They marry the first 30 year younger local woman who gives them a few coma-inducing orgasms without considering the kids and how they might complicate matters. TBH, if I was a one-parent kid, I'd be seriously hostile to some old farang relic bouncing my mother off the headboard every night and then sending me off to a boarding school to shunt me out of his way. Theres nothing he can do now. He should be thankful he's not one of those idiots whose stepkids pretend to like them up for handouts for phones and m/bikes but still call him "falang" in front of his face.

Very harsh mate. Ease up a little!!!

[tommytouch]

Jaysus, this is one depressing thread.

I hope things work out for all those in a similar predicament to the OP's.

But for anyone not yet in a relationship, here's a radical idea:

1) Meet a respectable, educated Thai woman (there are plenty out there).

2) Meet a woman who's a similar age to yourself.

3) Meet a woman who doesn't have children from a previous relationship.

4) Meet a woman who is with you for the right reasons.

5) Pray she doesn't turn out to be a complete f***king fruitcake.

Good luck (you're probably gonna need it at some point)

[huawei]

Jaysus, this is one depressing thread.

I hope things work out for all those in a similar predicament to the OP's.

But for anyone not yet in a relationship, here's a radical idea:

1) Meet a respectable, educated Thai woman (there are plenty out there).

2) Meet a woman who's a similar age to yourself.

3) Meet a woman who doesn't have children from a previous relationship.

4) Meet a woman who is with you for the right reasons.

5) Pray she doesn't turn out to be a complete f***king fruitcake.

Good luck (you're probably gonna need it at some point)

Number 5 is very hard..

[tommytouch]

Jaysus, this is one depressing thread.

I hope things work out for all those in a similar predicament to the OP's.

But for anyone not yet in a relationship, here's a radical idea:

1) Meet a respectable, educated Thai woman (there are plenty out there).

2) Meet a woman who's a similar age to yourself.

3) Meet a woman who doesn't have children from a previous relationship.

4) Meet a woman who is with you for the right reasons.

5) Pray she doesn't turn out to be a complete f***king fruitcake.

Good luck (you're probably gonna need it at some point)

Number 5 is very hard..

1 to 4 as well going by many of the comments on this forum...

[thailiketoo]

Jaysus, this is one depressing thread.

I hope things work out for all those in a similar predicament to the OP's.

But for anyone not yet in a relationship, here's a radical idea:

1) Meet a respectable, educated Thai woman (there are plenty out there).

2) Meet a woman who's a similar age to yourself.

3) Meet a woman who doesn't have children from a previous relationship.

4) Meet a woman who is with you for the right reasons.

5) Pray she doesn't turn out to be a complete f***king fruitcake.

Good luck (you're probably gonna need it at some point)

How many 70 year old women have you ever seen in a go go club?

[Cypress Hill]

Jaysus, this is one depressing thread.

I hope things work out for all those in a similar predicament to the OP's.

But for anyone not yet in a relationship, here's a radical idea:

1) Meet a respectable, educated Thai woman (there are plenty out there).

2) Meet a woman who's a similar age to yourself.

3) Meet a woman who doesn't have children from a previous relationship.

4) Meet a woman who is with you for the right reasons.

5) Pray she doesn't turn out to be a complete f***king fruitcake.

Good luck (you're probably gonna need it at some point)

How many 70 year old women have you ever seen in a go go club?

I'm sure there are plenty of 55+ mamasans who'd take on a 70 year old

[Gecko123]

I just want to let anyone who said that they would never marry a woman with the "baggage" of children from a prior relationship know that raising my step-daughter has been the most satisfying and rewarding experience of my life.

[aarontendo]

I would never get involved with some chick who is carrying around male sperm blossoms from a previous dude. It seems boys in particular always take badly to the step-father. I probably wouldn't get involved with a chick with kids here at all, it's not as if the Thai father is going to help shoulder that financial burden.

Way too many Thai chicks here are all over Asian men, but as soon as Somchai's left her a couple of deposits she's all "oh boy I loves me some white men". Barf. Pass on that.

[laolover88]

Thai youths are a nightmare

They are brought up indulged, spoiled, overfed, fawned upon and all misdemeanors condoned until someone reaches the end of their tether when they are flogged. This does not make for well adjusted human beings

Costas, this may sound odd, but.. I don't think it is your problem! It is your wife's problem. In spite of the above Thai boys are supposedly taught to respect and honour their mother. Public face of which is all that gooey Mother's

day stuff and the grovelling seen in soap operas. I don't doubt that you love your wife; however if she loves you she has to whip them into line. I am sure you can be imaginative with the purse strings! Even my lovely 12 year old

daughter finds her Galaxy and DS have gone for a walk if she lies, is lazy, and disobedient after warnings! Interestingly, well for me, in our house the world is turned upside down. The kids first language is English. they speak Thai fluently and they are not very keen on Thais! And articulate about it. But then they are our kids not adopted or stepkids.

You have not solved the problem in, what,6 or 7 years? I can't see YOU are going to solve it now.

I fear, if she cannot solve it," the: "If you don't like me, why do you want to live with me?" Go away and get a life tack is pretty much all you have. Personally I would never bring up another man's kids. What for?

Edited October 7, 2014 by laolover88

[harryfrompattaya]

Little you can do. Sounds as if these boys are ruined. Army might help.

Mark your territory, make them respect it. Be firm, not tyrannical. Give them nothing besides the necessities. Make them earn perks or be damned.

Love their mother and don't ever tolerate their disrespect of her. Good luck. They're gonna need it, not you.

Soon they will have children and you will support their children who also will hate you

Edited October 8, 2014 by harryfrompattaya

[Cypress Hill]

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I just want to let anyone who said that they would never marry a woman with the "baggage" of children from a prior relationship know that raising my step-daughter has been the most satisfying and rewarding experience of my life.

But it could've been an absolute nightmare.

You got lucky.

I don't mind having fun with single mothers but, seriously, cold day in hell when I throw my lot in with them and their spawn

[Gecko123]

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I just want to let anyone who said that they would never marry a woman with the "baggage" of children from a prior relationship know that raising my step-daughter has been the most satisfying and rewarding experience of my life.

But it could've been an absolute nightmare.

You got lucky.

I don't mind having fun with single mothers but, seriously, cold day in hell when I throw my lot in with them and their spawn

One thing I think we can agree on is that in love, as in life, luck plays a role, sometimes a lot bigger than we care to admit.

For example, a guy can choose a girl with the greatest care, only for her to be diagnosed with a terminal disease or be severely injured in an auto accident down the road.

When you realize this, some of these hard and fast rules start falling by the wayside, and you go with the flow.

Another thing I think some guys forget is that no one's perfect; there are trade-offs in just about every relationship. If you say "absolutely no step-kids" that's fair enough, but chances are you're going to have to make compromises in another department.

But I certainly agree that before you take on the responsibility of step-kids you need to think long and hard about what you're getting into, and I can think of few things worse than becoming a step-parent to kids you wish weren't there.

[Showbags]

Wow how depressing.....kind of helps with the possible stories behind all those pattaya jumpers.....

[harrry]

The thing I like least with this topic is just that...help me with MY WIFES kids.

When you moved in with them I would have thought at least a little bit you would have began thinking of them as our kids.

[benalibina]

The thing I like least with this topic is just that...help me with MY WIFES kids.

When you moved in with them I would have thought at least a little bit you would have began thinking of them as our kids.

It leaves a question open.....

Why is it not ?

[David48]

Khun Costas ... usually I have something to say ... some input from my observations in Thailand.

But, your situation, I have had no experience.

MissFarmGirl didn't have any kids before the Boys were born.

The 3 regular Farm kids who I live (future nieces and a nephew) with all seem to appreciate me even though I give them relatively nothing.

Sorry mate ... no answers for you on this.