Friendly or just polite?

Thailand is a very polite country and most people are very helpful and service is without doubt extremely good. So no, I am not Thai bashing.

I am a fairly insular person, not unfriendly, but not searching for friends Facebook style.

To be honest I have no true Thai friends outside of my Thai family.

The same is true of my Thai wife and our son.

Yes our son plays with "friends", but has no close friends, his closest friends of the same age are cousins.

My wife is "friendly" with our neighbours, as am I , but never would invite them into our house or they likewise never invite anyone outside of family into theirs.

I like this, but that is why I sort of fit.

Happy to have a drink and a chat at the corner shop, like to know everyone around here ( we have lived in our house for eleven years) but that is where it stops. Very different to Western culture in my opinion.

Yes, yes and yes. I can assimilate entirely with your opening post. My family are all but dead. And I am in a situation similar to yours. I love the closeness to my Thai family, but feel for my son. I grew up with family and friends. My son has no-one but his imagination and the occasional contact. Hopefully things will work out fine.

OP, Thais are as friendly and polite as you are to them.

You don't seem to be interested to get closer to them, just keep them on a distance.

So you will never know about them but always be polite to them, smile to them and may be sometimes wai at them.

This is not how it works, you are not integrating to the society you live in, you just accept them.

Also, I think you are following the western culture that people have been living for years and years as neighbours and the only words they have exchanged between them is a Good Morning or a polite Hello.

Try to get closer to the Thais, you will be accepted by them with open hands and minds and then you will understand the difference of just being polite and making friends.

But be genuine, you can't fool them and they can't fool you.

Now, maybe you are not at all interested to get closer to them, so please disregard my post as a waste of time.

The one constant I see in my Thai friends is that they make very few new friends after leaving University

OP, Thais are as friendly and polite as you are to them.

You don't seem to be interested to get closer to them, just keep them on a distance.

So you will never know about them but always be polite to them, smile to them and may be sometimes wai at them.

This is not how it works, you are not integrating to the society you live in, you just accept them.

Also, I think you are following the western culture that people have been living for years and years as neighbours and the only words they have exchanged between them is a Good Morning or a polite Hello.

Try to get closer to the Thais, you will be accepted by them with open hands and minds and then you will understand the difference of just being polite and making friends.

But be genuine, you can't fool them and they can't fool you.

Now, maybe you are not at all interested to get closer to them, so please disregard my post as a waste of time.

Costas, I think you missed my point.

I am very "friendly" with my neighbours, socialise daily with them.

BUT and here, maybe as a Greek, you may know; blood is thicker than water.

When I was in the UK, millions of years ago, it was inportant to make friends, invite them to dinner, socialise with them and even put friends before family.

Not here and I like it.

Let's go through my day, an average day( I am retired now , but worked until last year):

Lunch cooked by my "friend" Oi, who knows how I like my Thai food.

Yesterday my wife cooked my favourite meal!

Then home and checking e mails etc.

Off to the corner shop for a beer and chat.

Son home from school, homework completed and here I am!

Some Thai people are friendly; some aren't. However, many are shy (with foreigners) which can make them seem unfriendly.

Some Thai people are friendly; some aren't. However, many are shy (with foreigners) which can make them seem unfriendly.

Not my point.

Accept the semantics of the word friendly and also shy.

No , I am a long term resident and where I live no one is shy with me, we are neighbours. I have seen kids from pregnancy, birth to having their own children.

BUT again, family is everything and I admit I like it!

yes Thais are friendly but it costs Money

"Is Thailand friendly?"

Yes

"Is Thailand Expats friendly"

No

Here is a day in the life. I came from the U.S. in a state not known to be friendly. I go back to visit every year.

Day 1: stranger lady with kids makes a joke to me while we wait in line at Toys 'R Us. See her again in another store, we continue to talk.

Day 2: strangers all talk and laugh in line at Home Depot.

Day 3: strangers talk to me while waiting in line for the elevator.

Back to Thailand:....9 years and not a word or acknowledgement of my existence (bar crowd not included).

Here is a day in the life. I came from the U.S. in a state not known to be friendly. I go back to visit every year.

Day 1: stranger lady with kids makes a joke to me while we wait in line at Toys 'R Us. See her again in another store, we continue to talk.

Day 2: strangers all talk and laugh in line at Home Depot.

Day 3: strangers talk to me while waiting in line for the elevator.

Back to Thailand:....9 years and not a word or acknowledgement of my existence (bar crowd not included).

Had the same experience.

Is Thailand friendly?

Thailand is very friendly to the following Americans (most favored at the top):

Ben Franklin

Ulysses S Grant

Andrew Jackson

Alexander Hamilton

Abraham Lincoln

Tom Jefferson

George Washington

Cheers

"Is Thailand friendly?"

Yes

"Is Thailand Expats friendly"

No

Don`t agree.

From my experiences the most people that are not friendly towards ex-pats here in Thailand, are the ex-pats themselves. I get on great with the Thais but the ex-pats seems curt, rude and unapproachable. It`s either the invisible teatment or the disapproving stare.

I believe that the Thais are extremely ex-pat friendly if you`re the neighborly type and don`t come across as conceited and self righteous.

"Is Thailand friendly?"

Yes

"Is Thailand Expats friendly"

No

Don`t agree.

From my experiences the most people that are not friendly towards ex-pats here in Thailand, are the ex-pats themselves. I get on great with the Thais but the ex-pats seems curt, rude and unapproachable. It`s either the invisible teatment or the disapproving stare.

I believe that the Thais are extremely ex-pat friendly if you`re the neighborly type and don`t come across as conceited and self righteous.

Boy did you nail it. About 98% of the expats I walk past won't make eye contact.

They divert their eyes like they have a guilty conscience.

My most honest encounters have been with Thais I see regularly in my daily life.

tend to agree, about the ex pats that have been living here for many years, kind of snobbish and look away or dont take you on when you say hello, they think because they´ve lived in their small world here for years that theyre better than you, or maybe think you are competition as they have their usual bar fines , and believe they own them ....yet are cheap charlies who wont take care of the girls properly.Not very welcoming.. .There is also many here who are a complete embarrasement to themselves, i think have left their own country for their own good or safety, cos i know if they behaved the way they do back home, theyd get a serious doing...... There is many ex-pats here that are completely the opposite, have been welcoming , and very helpful since i arrived, real salt of the earth people...have made me fit in so easy here...Also most of the Thai´s i encounter are friendly, welcoming , polite..but also the fake smile lot, who try be your friend because they think they can get something from you...hangers ons, scroungers... I´ve also noticed a lot of the younger generation hanging about now, very rude, arrogant, trying their best to get attention , antagonise people... full of ice or alcohol... great for the future of thailand

Thai women I find are open & approachable, but a minority just hate from the off & let me know it.

Thai men...hard to figure. Being 6'1" & Farang money doesn't help I think.

The men who live in the vicinity of my house I pass words with, its always short & feels like posturing.

On a holiday very friendly, to live with, socially less friendly.

tend to agree, about the ex pats that have been living here for many years, kind of snobbish and look away or dont take you on when you say hello, they think because they´ve lived in their small world here for years that theyre better than you, or maybe think you are competition as they have their usual bar fines , and believe they own them ....yet are cheap charlies who wont take care of the girls properly.Not very welcoming.. .There is also many here who are a complete embarrasement to themselves, i think have left their own country for their own good or safety, cos i know if they behaved the way they do back home, theyd get a serious doing...... There is many ex-pats here that are completely the opposite, have been welcoming , and very helpful since i arrived, real salt of the earth people...have made me fit in so easy here...Also most of the Thai´s i encounter are friendly, welcoming , polite..but also the fake smile lot, who try be your friend because they think they can get something from you...hangers ons, scroungers... I´ve also noticed a lot of the younger generation hanging about now, very rude, arrogant, trying their best to get attention , antagonise people... full of ice or alcohol... great for the future of thailand

We hangout in very different places. I would say that we hangout in different countries

I have been here for years. Don't frequent places you allude to, and at least give a nod to the rare foreigner I happen to see.

Perhaps you might consider picking places other than Pattaya Patong etc to visit.

I have always found my neighbours both in Bangkok and in Eastern Thailand to be very friendly. Ni complaints fro me on that. Of course other tourist spots it always feels different. I do find from my travels, The US to be one of the friendliest places to be fair and as I am on another trip at present, again always a very friendly and polite country.

Thailand is a very polite country and most people are very helpful and service is without doubt extremely good. So no, I am not Thai bashing.

I stopped reading after 'service is without doubt extremely good', sorry. Btw, when you mention politeness, to which part are you referring; north, south or Bangkok area? If south, lol again.

I really fail to see why I must nod or communicate with the white man who passes me, he could be German, French, Swiss , Italian, its almost as though we are some sort of Farang clan.

I speak none of the above languages and I dont talk to strangers.

tend to agree, about the ex pats that have been living here for many years, kind of snobbish and look away or dont take you on when you say hello, they think because they´ve lived in their small world here for years that theyre better than you, or maybe think you are competition as they have their usual bar fines , and believe they own them ....yet are cheap charlies who wont take care of the girls properly.Not very welcoming.. .There is also many here who are a complete embarrasement to themselves, i think have left their own country for their own good or safety, cos i know if they behaved the way they do back home, theyd get a serious doing...... There is many ex-pats here that are completely the opposite, have been welcoming , and very helpful since i arrived, real salt of the earth people...have made me fit in so easy here...Also most of the Thai´s i encounter are friendly, welcoming , polite..but also the fake smile lot, who try be your friend because they think they can get something from you...hangers ons, scroungers... I´ve also noticed a lot of the younger generation hanging about now, very rude, arrogant, trying their best to get attention , antagonise people... full of ice or alcohol... great for the future of thailand

We hangout in very different places. I would say that we hangout in different countries

I have been here for years. Don't frequent places you allude to, and at least give a nod to the rare foreigner I happen to see.

Perhaps you might consider picking places other than Pattaya Patong etc to visit.

good for you..this is the kind of snobbish attitude im on about, and because you´ve been there for years you are an expert?? you have lived everywhere in thailand?? you admit, to rarely seeing a foreigner, so you´re not really that qualified to comment are you?? and for your information, i dont live in either Patong or Pattaya.. i prefer a quieter life style away from all the 24/7 party animals...

Thai friends are usually just drinking buddy's and it stops at that but they are the same with each other .

tend to agree, about the ex pats that have been living here for many years, kind of snobbish and look away or dont take you on when you say hello, they think because they´ve lived in their small world here for years that theyre better than you, or maybe think you are competition as they have their usual bar fines , and believe they own them ....yet are cheap charlies who wont take care of the girls properly.Not very welcoming.. .There is also many here who are a complete embarrasement to themselves, i think have left their own country for their own good or safety, cos i know if they behaved the way they do back home, theyd get a serious doing...... There is many ex-pats here that are completely the opposite, have been welcoming , and very helpful since i arrived, real salt of the earth people...have made me fit in so easy here...Also most of the Thai´s i encounter are friendly, welcoming , polite..but also the fake smile lot, who try be your friend because they think they can get something from you...hangers ons, scroungers... I´ve also noticed a lot of the younger generation hanging about now, very rude, arrogant, trying their best to get attention , antagonise people... full of ice or alcohol... great for the future of thailand

We hangout in very different places. I would say that we hangout in different countries

I have been here for years. Don't frequent places you allude to, and at least give a nod to the rare foreigner I happen to see.

Perhaps you might consider picking places other than Pattaya Patong etc to visit.

good for you..this is the kind of snobbish attitude im on about, and because you´ve been there for years you are an expert?? you have lived everywhere in thailand?? you admit, to rarely seeing a foreigner, so you´re not really that qualified to comment are you?? and for your information, i dont live in either Patong or Pattaya.. i prefer a quieter life style away from all the 24/7 party animals...

555 I think you need to go back and read your post but yeah..

Living here for years does make me an expert. Having lived in all 4 language zones of Thailand does as well. Not having thought about hookers in years..... Well make of that what you will.

tend to agree, about the ex pats that have been living here for many years, kind of snobbish and look away or dont take you on when you say hello, they think because they´ve lived in their small world here for years that theyre better than you, or maybe think you are competition as they have their usual bar fines , and believe they own them ....yet are cheap charlies who wont take care of the girls properly.Not very welcoming.. .There is also many here who are a complete embarrasement to themselves, i think have left their own country for their own good or safety, cos i know if they behaved the way they do back home, theyd get a serious doing...... There is many ex-pats here that are completely the opposite, have been welcoming , and very helpful since i arrived, real salt of the earth people...have made me fit in so easy here...Also most of the Thai´s i encounter are friendly, welcoming , polite..but also the fake smile lot, who try be your friend because they think they can get something from you...hangers ons, scroungers... I´ve also noticed a lot of the younger generation hanging about now, very rude, arrogant, trying their best to get attention , antagonise people... full of ice or alcohol... great for the future of thailand

We hangout in very different places. I would say that we hangout in different countries

I have been here for years. Don't frequent places you allude to, and at least give a nod to the rare foreigner I happen to see.

Perhaps you might consider picking places other than Pattaya Patong etc to visit.

good for you..this is the kind of snobbish attitude im on about, and because you´ve been there for years you are an expert?? you have lived everywhere in thailand?? you admit, to rarely seeing a foreigner, so you´re not really that qualified to comment are you?? and for your information, i dont live in either Patong or Pattaya.. i prefer a quieter life style away from all the 24/7 party animals...

555 I think you need to go back and read your post but yeah..

Living here for years does make me an expert. Having lived in all 4 language zones of Thailand does as well. Not having thought about hookers in years..... Well make of that what you will.

Old and no power????

i don't socialize at all.stay with my wife and the dogs and be happy with this.and as my wife says: i am a grumpy young man...

Yeppers that's it! (or maybe even employed and married) or simply not a place with Barfield near me in Nakhon Nayok)

Thais are quite friendly. I find Thais to be a pleasant race of people to live with, especially given how bad I am with the language.

I've been given more random drinks from people I don't know than anywhere else.

Buy some beers and invite yourself along to a drinking session sometime, that works. Put yourself out there a bit.

To form really close friendships, you're going to have to find English speakers, but they're around.

I have been travelling in many countries and now living in Thailand for long term and I would say Thais are among the most friendly people there are. Of course, there are all types but generally speaking, if you have some manners, Thais will treat you well. If you take the time to learn the language, Thais will treat you with a lot of respect. They don't respect the average drunkard prostitute chasing tourist, though.

The more money you have the friendlier it becomes.

The short answer is a definite YES, then you come up against the Government officials, the lazy shop worker and othjers who see you as an ATM, but in general most are friendly and helpful. It is the only plus going for the country apart from the weather.