Cross Cultures Canada v.s. Thailand

[elgordo38]

I have lived in Thailand for some 4 years now. I have experienced a couple bad relationships and now in a good one. I am 76 and she is 25 wow. I have had 3 wives in Canada greedy so and so but P I shall call her has been truly wonderful. She truly pampers me without going into details. I have not discovered the fountain of youth so I am planning to give her a head start financially after I am gone. I am not rich and have 2 children in Canada. They are able to look after themselves but keep harping that when I die if I do not leave them something they will be truly disappointed(angry). I then look at Thai kids that often go without food and live in small dingy apartments hold two jobs (I met a girl that had 3) so that they can send money home to the parents to live on. I guess you can call this a Thai informal pension plan. They sacrifice sacrifice so that their parents have monthly money. Sadly I am disappointed in my children with their me me me attitude. So lets open up the discussion what do you think are you in a similar position. Brickbats welcome

[David48]

"So lets open up the discussion what do you think are you in a similar position:"

What part of your OP do you wish to discuss?

The ...

• I am 76 and she is 25
• I have had 3 wives
• I am planning to give her a head start financially after I am gone
• I am not rich
• I have 2 children in Canada and when you die you should leave them something
• The Thai informal pension plan (as you perceive it)
• Sacrificing sacrifice
• Being disappointed in my children
• That your children have their me me me attitude

Just trying to clarify your OP.

BTW ... a recent photo of you both would add levity to the discussion.

.

[northernjohn]

I have a little money invested in Canada. I also have three children the youngest is 49. They have all 3 told me not to worry about them they are OK.

I count myself lucky to have children like that.

for the 75 to 25 difference on age so what if you are both getting what you want and not hurting the other one to get it. All though I would have my doubts. Then again I would have to know the history of the girl. I don't so I can not say.

[amse]

Leave nothing to your kids, even if you do they'll still be disappointed, Brats.

Edited October 25, 2014 by metisdead
Bold font removed again. Please stop using bold font when posting.

[Wat dee]

76-25.She deserves it all!!!

[glegolo]

Could have had the chance of become an interesting thread. Good start with David´s strange post, but we have to live with that typ of characters I guess.

Personally I am 63 years old, and I have a child (39 years old), and I intend to do exactly like you think. I feel really for leaving something behind to secure a bit at least, for my wife.

Good on you thinking like that!!!

Glegolo

[Tony125]

You asked for it so; because at your age you found some hot piece that you thought you would never have the chance to be with someone like that again in your life you are willing to abandon your kids from Canada . I don't care how bad your ex-wives where the kids are a part of you and have no bearing on the wives. I have a daughter back in USA and a long time ago took out a large life insurance policy and over the years I have changed the beneficiaries (her mother no loger gets any) my mom died so now just my Thai wife and my daughter get most of the funds except for small amount to my brother.

My ex tried to turn my daughter against me but it did not work and we are close, her mother and I have no contact. You have 2 kids and I one but I would not leave my kids with nothing as if saying Hey I got a nice plaything younger than you kids so I love her no longer you so I'm giving everything to her---yeh your some kinda farther.

Edited October 24, 2014 by Tony125

[TheRascal]

Leave your kids nothing - that they even talk about it is disgusting.

My dad is 62 and I'm in my early 30s. When he passes on (hopefully a long time away!) I don't want anything other than things that have sentimental value. I'd rather he spent all his money in his retirement and thoroughly enjoyed the last part of his life - god knows he worked hard enough before he retired and he deserves it.

I wouldn't suggest leaving it all to a 25y/o girl either, why don't you spend some of it now investing in stuff that she can use for her future to constantly make money - education etc.

Edited October 24, 2014 by TheRascal

[northernboy]

May I just ask if your children are ..Me.. ME.. Me.. who has raised them to be like that? Just maybe you should ask yourself, if you have done the best job possible as their father. You clearly have chosen to have another shot at it.

[marcusd]

May I just ask if your children are ..Me.. ME.. Me.. who has raised them to be like that? Just maybe you should ask yourself, if you have done the best job possible as their father. You clearly have chosen to have another shot at it.

I do not agree. My parents were fantastic and now almost at that passing on stage but my,brothers are total me me me ers. Bastards. I think my sister and i are oposite to them.

It is also part of what makes them and how the grew up in the world.

That's also part of what makes us all individuals

[Gecko123]

OP:

One important question I would be asking myself if I were you is:

"Who would manage my affairs and manage my living trust in the event I became mentally or physically incapacited or impaired?"

Does your Thai girlfriend have the trustworthy character, not to mention the legal and managerial sophistication to handle the responsibilities of being a trustee or executor? If she doesn't, who would handle this for you? Until you have a clear plan in place on how your affairs will be managed, I wouldn't burn any bridges with my children.

If you were to become mentally or physically impaired, your relationship with your Thai girlfriend/wife could change drastically, especially if access to your funds was interrupted or stopped. With the age difference between you, it would be foolish to not recognize that your girlfriend likely has a financial incentive to remain in the relationship, especially if you have hinted or promised such an incentive is in place for her already. If that financial incentive suddenly was no longer assured, she might disappear as well.

Finally, I would keep in mind that the Thai devotion to parental care which you have observed, (and which, personally, I think you might be slightly over-romanticizing), may not necessarily be extended to you just because you are old enough to be her father or grandfather.

I am not passing judgment, just trying to give you some pragmatic issues to consider.

Edited October 24, 2014 by Gecko123

[laislica]

I too am lucky that my children want nothing from me and tell me to go out and enjoy what's left of my life.

Bless them, but I guess that I would be disappointed if they said anything else.

My pension goes with me, so rather than wait until I pass, I am making arrangements so that my wife will have property to rent out so she will have an income after I am gone and she can continue to take care of her family.

That is what I recommend to you, get it spent, then there is nothing to fight over!

I will give something to the grand children to help them get educated/started,

my kids are taking care of themselves so they don't need anything from me.

I have a friend of about 63 married to a Thai under 30 and they are very happy with their part of the relationship and they are living in his home country, so why not!

This is not a dress rehearsal!

BTW, age is just a number!

It's what you believe and how you behave and trust that gives you age.

Good for you, take care of your wife.

[facthailand]

I've been married to a wonderful, loving, devoted, caring woman, just 16 years my junior, for 23 years. She owns our house here.

I've also owned a share in a small private island in Clayoquot Sound. Water comes from a spring, sometimes with a tiny shrimp in it, we have a few solar panels, and cellphone service we never use. We get five runs of different salmon species each year and my wife is an expert fisherman off our six acres of beach at sunset; she catches at least a dinner salmon every day.

My grown kids and families also use our island home for holidays every summer. They grew up there, mostly homeschooled. When they wanted school, they went to the village across a mile of water in their own boat. Those are some powerful attachments.

The island is a cooperative with only one name per share. My kids help out some with repairs but I pay all the bills. I worried that, when I wasn't around, they'd cut my wife out of the picture. I'd rather rule from beyond the grave and this way they'll need to depend on each other.

So I willed our island to her. She claims she would keep it perfect, in my memory. But travel is expensive, life there not so easy, upkeep costs. So I added a caveat that, were she to sell, she'd offer my kids right of first refusal.

I don't think my kids are greedy. I think they want to keep the place as a family legacy, and they are hurt by my decision. Nonetheless, I think I'm doing the right thing.

[georgemandm]

Good on you with the young thai lady I wish it could happen to me but and I mean but make sure you lever some thing to your kids back home because they are your children and the thai is good for you now but sorry to say this and it would be the same for me if I were in your shoes and had a very young thai lady like you she is very , very good at playing the waiting game because she know like me and like you we are going to die sooner then her and she hops to get it all not saying you should not take care of her when you are gone but take care of your kids back home I have 1 boy from my first wife and 2 girls from my wife number 2 and the boy is a lot older then my girls and we have not talk for some years and he dose not care about me but he is my son so I have to lever him some thing like I will with my girls and all will get a house each witch when I die will be a lot of money for each of them and my thai I will take care of her to if she takes care of me so in the end all I hop will be happy so if I were you I would try and make ever one happy cheers .

[Mudcrab]

Hopefully I won't kick the bucket in the near future, i was married for many years but same old story it failed after 23 years.

I then met an American lady and thought about making a will.

Saw the lawyer and said I wanted to leave half to her and half to my daughter and bugger all to my estranged son.

His advice was to leave 20% to my son so it would be difficult to challenge the will my post mortem. Go figure.!!

That pissed me off no end...I couldn't in effect will whatever I had to whom I wanted.

To complicate things I have since married a lovely Thai lady (settle down boys - she's 49 and I'm 59 both been there done that) and now find myself in the situation that she will legally inherit 100% of everything. We both wish to ensure my daughter gets a share of my worldly goodies.

I now have to write another will with my daughter receiving 40%, the missus 40% and the waste of space son 20% to ensure it cannot be challenged when I finally go belly up.

Whoever said you can leave whatever to whoever was wrong ...at least under Ozzie law (and I'm buggered if I am going to leave up to the Thai law).

5

[Greg Nixon]

It is your money . You earned it and you have every right to spend it as you see fit. You already spent a considerable sum on your children as they grew up or did You ? If they are comfortable financially you need not experience any guilt. If they are angry after you die you will not be around to experience that anger. You could suggest to them that they buy insurance on your life with a savings component. This is a sound financial strategy recommended by experts. Tell them they will be remembered in your will. ( leave them a few thousand dollars each ) .

I would never tell a Thai lady of much younger years than you that you will leave them money. That is asking for trouble. Just recently a Thai woman murdered her older Japanese husband for his money. This has been repeated many many times in Thailand. On the contrary tell your wife or girlfriend that they will receive no money upon your death ( even if they secretly will) and that their long term welfare is dependent upon you staying healthy and alive. Tell them how much they will receive in benefits be that mortgage payments, allowance, utility payments, automobile payments etc while you are alive. Tell them that will all cease should you die. That is what I call life insurance - someone else trying their very best to keep you healthy.

I have done this with my Thai wife. My children are both comfortable and well educated so I have at this time no intention of leaving them money. I have given so much during my lifetime.

[georgemandm]

Hopefully I won't kick the bucket in the near future, i was married for many years but same old story it failed after 23 years.

I then met an American lady and thought about making a will.

Saw the lawyer and said I wanted to leave half to her and half to my daughter and bugger all to my estranged son.

His advice was to leave 20% to my son so it would be difficult to challenge the will my post mortem. Go figure.!!

That pissed me off no end...I couldn't in effect will whatever I had to whom I wanted.

To complicate things I have since married a lovely Thai lady (settle down boys - she's 49 and I'm 59 both been there done that) and now find myself in the situation that she will legally inherit 100% of everything. We both wish to ensure my daughter gets a share of my worldly goodies.

I now have to write another will with my daughter receiving 40%, the missus 40% and the waste of space son 20% to ensure it cannot be challenged when I finally go belly up.

Whoever said you can leave whatever to whoever was wrong ...at least under Ozzie law (and I'm buggered if I am going to leave up to the Thai law).

Before I come here 3 months ago I had to do a new will and have my son like you and get this if he likes can contest it and your are dead and not know about it but you lever 40 % to wife 40% to daughter and 20% to son if son not happy he can still contest your will that is the law back home in Australia and mind you it is a <deleted>?king English law .

5

[Greg Nixon]

Give most of your money away as gifts while you are alive. 20 % of $10,000.00 is bugger and all and more or less an insult.

Depending on the tax laws in your country this could be done gradually to so as not to attract tax notice.

Hopefully I won't kick the bucket in the near future, i was married for many years but same old story it failed after 23 years.

I then met an American lady and thought about making a will.

Saw the lawyer and said I wanted to leave half to her and half to my daughter and bugger all to my estranged son.

His advice was to leave 20% to my son so it would be difficult to challenge the will my post mortem. Go figure.!!

That pissed me off no end...I couldn't in effect will whatever I had to whom I wanted.

To complicate things I have since married a lovely Thai lady (settle down boys - she's 49 and I'm 59 both been there done that) and now find myself in the situation that she will legally inherit 100% of everything. We both wish to ensure my daughter gets a share of my worldly goodies.

I now have to write another will with my daughter receiving 40%, the missus 40% and the waste of space son 20% to ensure it cannot be challenged when I finally go belly up.

Whoever said you can leave whatever to whoever was wrong ...at least under Ozzie law (and I'm buggered if I am going to leave up to the Thai law).

5

[sdanielmcev]

Let's start at the top. What the hell do you talk about with a 25y/o?

As far as these greedy relatives, sounds more like you are narcissistic. Easy to be Hard, eh?

If you want to shut out your kids from your will, do it. You want give it to a 25 y/0 girl you just met, do it. Butch up cupcake.

[snowgard]

I mean if you are not rich why you must ask about this? You give you Kids a good start. They are old enough for earn their own Money.

But who clean your ass? who pampers you? Who take care of you in the hardest time before you die and do almost everything for you???

Your sons or your girlfriend/wife?

If I am not rich I want give everything to my caretaker!!!

[Mudcrab]

Give most of your money away as gifts while you are alive. 20 % of $10,000.00 is bugger and all and more or less an insult.

Depending on the tax laws in your country this could be done gradually to so as not to attract tax notice.

Hopefully I won't kick the bucket in the near future, i was married for many years but same old story it failed after 23 years.

I then met an American lady and thought about making a will.

Saw the lawyer and said I wanted to leave half to her and half to my daughter and bugger all to my estranged son.

His advice was to leave 20% to my son so it would be difficult to challenge the will my post mortem. Go figure.!!

That pissed me off no end...I couldn't in effect will whatever I had to whom I wanted.

To complicate things I have since married a lovely Thai lady (settle down boys - she's 49 and I'm 59 both been there done that) and now find myself in the situation that she will legally inherit 100% of everything. We both wish to ensure my daughter gets a share of my worldly goodies.

I now have to write another will with my daughter receiving 40%, the missus 40% and the waste of space son 20% to ensure it cannot be challenged when I finally go belly up.

Whoever said you can leave whatever to whoever was wrong ...at least under Ozzie law (and I'm buggered if I am going to leave up to the Thai law).

5

Good idea Greg, but the principle of not having my true wishes adhered to because of lawyers/law/legal and possible challenges crap post mortem really pisses me off no end - not that I'll be around to worry about it personally.

But I went through a similar thing when Mum passed away.

Dad died 13 years earlier and left everything to Mum as you would expect .Mum left everything to her four kids.

One scheming sister took advantage of Mums ill health prior to her passing for her personal benefit and did very well.

Karmas a bitch so they say.

The money wasn't a great amount but the principle is in my mind.

[In Search of Space]

Give most of your money away as gifts while you are alive. 20 % of $10,000.00 is bugger and all and more or less an insult.

Depending on the tax laws in your country this could be done gradually to so as not to attract tax notice.

Hopefully I won't kick the bucket in the near future, i was married for many years but same old story it failed after 23 years.

I then met an American lady and thought about making a will.

Saw the lawyer and said I wanted to leave half to her and half to my daughter and bugger all to my estranged son.

His advice was to leave 20% to my son so it would be difficult to challenge the will my post mortem. Go figure.!!

That pissed me off no end...I couldn't in effect will whatever I had to whom I wanted.

To complicate things I have since married a lovely Thai lady (settle down boys - she's 49 and I'm 59 both been there done that) and now find myself in the situation that she will legally inherit 100% of everything. We both wish to ensure my daughter gets a share of my worldly goodies.

I now have to write another will with my daughter receiving 40%, the missus 40% and the waste of space son 20% to ensure it cannot be challenged when I finally go belly up.

Whoever said you can leave whatever to whoever was wrong ...at least under Ozzie law (and I'm buggered if I am going to leave up to the Thai law).

5

Good idea Greg, but the principle of not having my true wishes adhered to because of lawyers/law/legal and possible challenges crap post mortem really pisses me off no end - not that I'll be around to worry about it personally.

But I went through a similar thing when Mum passed away.

Dad died 13 years earlier and left everything to Mum as you would expect .Mum left everything to her four kids.

One scheming sister took advantage of Mums ill health prior to her passing for her personal benefit and did very well.

Karmas a bitch so they say.

The money wasn't a great amount but the principle is in my mind.

My father dies several years ago, after my sister had tried to steal his business from him (in UK), forged documents etc. He had to go to court to establish himself as the business owner and then vowed that my sister would get nothing. After he died my sister sucked up to my mother and when she died, sister got everything.

I don't believe that there is a law in UK that states that all children are entitled to a share, I beleive that unless something is "fishy" then it is difficult to contest a will.

[robin33]

25, she really loves you. But.. She deserves every penny ... I,m 40 and a when a 25 year old put up with me for a a while she gets Evert hing.. .

[David48]

"So lets open up the discussion what do you think are you in a similar position:"

What part of your OP do you wish to discuss?

The ...

• I am 76 and she is 25
• I have had 3 wives
• I am planning to give her a head start financially after I am gone
• I am not rich
• I have 2 children in Canada and when you die you should leave them something
• The Thai informal pension plan (as you perceive it)
• Sacrificing sacrifice
• Being disappointed in my children
• That your children have their me me me attitude

Just trying to clarify your OP.

BTW ... a recent photo of you both would add levity to the discussion..

Could have had the chance of become an interesting thread. Good start with David´s strange post, but we have to live with that typ of characters I guess.

Personally I am 63 years old, and I have a child (39 years old), and I intend to do exactly like you think. I feel really for leaving something behind to secure a bit at least, for my wife.

Good on you thinking like that!!!

Glegolo

Dear Glegolo ... how's life in your neck of the woods?

It seems once again that you don't like a post of mine ... fair enough, it's an open Forum.

What I tried to do was to get elgerdo38 to clarify what specifically he wanted to discuss with his OP ... I opened up the opportunity to do this by replying to my post.

As you can see, he's yet to do that and the members have picked what they wanted to from his OP, to reply to.

A popular point being the age difference between the OP and his partner. I'd humbly suggest that the OP didn't wish to specifically discuss this. Heck ... your child is 14 years older then his Thai Partner.

So, while you have seen a particular interesting thing from the OP to discuss ... other members have discovered different discussion points. Not everyone thinks like you.

So, in the light of the thrust of the above ... does my initial post now seem 'so strange' ... or just strange to you ...

.

Edited October 24, 2014 by David48

[blazes]

In Canada, the surviving spouse will get 50% of the deceased's Canada Pension. At the moment, the maximum for one person is roughly $1000 per month, so he (more likely she) would be getting $500 per month for her lifetime, providing she was 35 or older.

So, if a (say) 40 year old Thai lady (or a lady of any nationality, including of course Ms Canada) suddenly becomes the widow of a Canuck, and she dies at (say) 80, she will pick up $240,000 from Canada or (for the Thai lady) about 7.2million baht.

In the case of the OP, the 25 year-old will be excluded from this largesse. However, if the OP lasts another 10 years, she can cash in....

[theoldgit]

Highly offensive remark, and quoted response, removed.

[glegolo]

"So lets open up the discussion what do you think are you in a similar position:"

What part of your OP do you wish to discuss?

The ...

• I am 76 and she is 25
• I have had 3 wives
• I am planning to give her a head start financially after I am gone
• I am not rich
• I have 2 children in Canada and when you die you should leave them something
• The Thai informal pension plan (as you perceive it)
• Sacrificing sacrifice
• Being disappointed in my children
• That your children have their me me me attitude

Just trying to clarify your OP.

BTW ... a recent photo of you both would add levity to the discussion..

Could have had the chance of become an interesting thread. Good start with David´s strange post, but we have to live with that typ of characters I guess.

Personally I am 63 years old, and I have a child (39 years old), and I intend to do exactly like you think. I feel really for leaving something behind to secure a bit at least, for my wife.

Good on you thinking like that!!!

Glegolo

Dear Glegolo ... how's life in your neck of the woods?

It seems once again that you don't like a post of mine ... fair enough, it's an open Forum.

What I tried to do was to get elgerdo38 to clarify what specifically he wanted to discuss with his OP ... I opened up the opportunity to do this by replying to my post.

As you can see, he's yet to do that and the members have picked what they wanted to from his OP, to reply to.

A popular point being the age difference between the OP and his partner. I'd humbly suggest that the OP didn't wish to specifically discuss this. Heck ... your child is 14 years older then his Thai Partner.

So, while you have seen a particular interesting thing from the OP to discuss ... other members have discovered different discussion points. Not everyone thinks like you.

So, in the light of the thrust of the above ... does my initial post now seem 'so strange' ... or just strange to you ...

.

Your post was just adding nothing to the thread at all. Sorry it is nothing personal I promise you.. But to blow your horn now AFTER all the other guys unpacked theirs, seems very brave.....

Glegolo

[David48]

^^ Lets finish there here because we are detracting from the OP.

But, as to 'blow your horn now AFTER' ... I was the 2nd post ... I was BEFORE.

Glegolo ... genuinely ... haveagoodweekend ...

[Ulic]

76 and 25. The unspoken arrangement in Asia is, I look after you for the rest of your life, to the best of my ability while I am young and you

are old and you look after me financially for the rest of my life when you die. A win-win. Don't renege on the deal.

[Gecko123]

Could have had the chance of become an interesting thread. Good start with David´s strange post, but we have to live with that typ of characters I guess.

Personally I am 63 years old, and I have a child (39 years old), and I intend to do exactly like you think. I feel really for leaving something behind to secure a bit at least, for my wife.

Good on you thinking like that!!!

Glegolo

Dear Glegolo ... how's life in your neck of the woods?

It seems once again that you don't like a post of mine ... fair enough, it's an open Forum.

What I tried to do was to get elgerdo38 to clarify what specifically he wanted to discuss with his OP ... I opened up the opportunity to do this by replying to my post.

As you can see, he's yet to do that and the members have picked what they wanted to from his OP, to reply to.

A popular point being the age difference between the OP and his partner. I'd humbly suggest that the OP didn't wish to specifically discuss this. Heck ... your child is 14 years older then his Thai Partner.

So, while you have seen a particular interesting thing from the OP to discuss ... other members have discovered different discussion points. Not everyone thinks like you.

So, in the light of the thrust of the above ... does my initial post now seem 'so strange' ... or just strange to you ...

.

Your post was just adding nothing to the thread at all. Sorry it is nothing personal I promise you.. But to blow your horn now AFTER all the other guys unpacked theirs, seems very brave.....

Glegolo

In the interest of fairness, I think David48 did the OP a big favor by helping sort out what was a very unfocused all-over-the-map post.

I struggled to figure out how to respond to it and note that almost a full hour transpired between the OP's post and David48's initial comment.

I suspect that without his effort to bullet point the issues raised in the OP's post, this thread would have quickly slipped into oblivion.