I don't have a choice, I'm going with my mother to move over there.

Put on a tissue filled bra, some lipstick and a frilly dress and you should be ok.

I think I need actual breast surgery, should I try and flirt with the sergeants? Watch their faces turn to disgust in seconds and their decision to change to exempt in microseconds.

If you are moving to Thailand permanently, serving in the army for two years might not be a bad idea. I would think it would be an excellent way to learn Thai.