Beach Boys And Things

[LoveDaBlues]

sbk - that poster wasn't me. I have a fair number of posts but rarely start one; usually just throw in my 2 baht lol. Thanks for the apology; I understand you thought I was someone else; no problem. If you think I was attacking you then please accept my apology.

I don't know much about girlx (or most people on this forum for that matter) but I do know about opinions. The truth usually lies somewhere between the different opinions of those that are SO SURE they are 'spot-on' with the way things REALLY ARE.

So, to make it clear, I am 40 years old and have lived in Thailand for 17 years. I am well aware of the shortcomings of some Thai men, just as I am aware of the shortcomings of some Thai women. But, as an adult, I understand that one person's generalizations are a result of their experiences, and that another's experiences can be completely different and thus that person would have different generalizations.

I think that some people have difficulty realizing this fact.

Also, I would hope you realize the fact that some (IMO a small %) people are capable of understanding that their perception of things is indeed biased/shaped by their own experiences and they are open to other's opinions and realize their 'reality' may indeed be incorrect/incomplete.

As for me, I've been in Thailand for one year now. I am the stereotype.....older farang younger TW. It doesn't bother me at all as I am very happy with my life I find the people who criticize such a union the loudest and most often usually have something lacking in their own lives....pity.

[llewynx]

I had a discussion with my (Thai) boyfriend about beach boys and unfaithfulness recently after reading the threads here and lo and behold - he fully agreed on most Thai men being cheaters and the beach boys normally being after a short one-week fling with a farang girl, no strings attached.

On the cheating thing, when I asked him about if his friends cheated on their wives and girlfriends (and they are guys from all parts of society - from poor to rich, "beach boys" and land and resort owners), he thought for a while and then said "All of them cheat". I was amazed. I asked if he thought it was OK and he said no, but that's the way it is, that's the way men are and it's accepted in Thai culture. His point was that it has been like that for so many generations that it is hard to change it, but he agreed on the change coming now, with the younger generation becoming more and more "westernised" - or shall we say enlightened? We also discussed the differences between how the western world and the Thai world looks at cheating - where I come from cheating is frowned upon by everyone, including the cheater's friends, but here they are being hailed as studs (yes, I'm generalizing, and we're talking men here, not women). He agreed with me on this as well.

On the beach boy thing he said that he himself could probably be considered a beach boy, since he owns a couple of bars on the beach and work in them from time to time, and so he agreed on the "free sex" issue as well. With all the good-looking, young farang girls throwing themselves at them, and offering them money and sex, it's not strange they take them up on their offers. However, he made the point that noone wants to get their heart broken again and again by tourist girls who are only after a holiday fling and so they "lock up" and won't give their hearts away so easily. I've been together with him for quite a while and it's only recently he's started to open up to me and believe that I'm not gonna leave him - I have my own business here and had been living in Thailand for several years before we met and will continue doing that whatever happens between us. He's been hurt too many times by tourist girls who leave and say they will come back within a few months, he waited but they never did. So finally he stopped waiting and got a new girl...

Just some thoughts on why "beach boys" are the way they are, they are humans with hearts and emotions too, and if you get your heart broken enough times it tends to make you a bit hard.

[jdinasia]

so llewynx ...does this mean that you cannot trust your guy? if ALL MEN CHEAT?

[LoveDaBlues]

so llewynx ...does this mean that you cannot trust your guy? if ALL MEN CHEAT?

Why not re-read what she posted? She didn't say 'all men cheat', you did.

The boyfriend said most Thai men cheat, not all.

Edited August 23, 2006 by LoveDaBlues

[Boo]

It's interesting, out of hubbies mates in issan, only one is (currently) cheating with a mia noi, it's somewhat a joke to his friends & he is teased all the time about it. None of the guys thinks he is a stud & in fact several have said how stupid he is & how he must be mad to have 2 women as one is hard enough work This guy falls asleep in the bar when out drinking so she must be doing her job well but he will probably have a heart attack or die of exhaustion as he can hardly keep up

I'm sure that others have cheated at times but it is something that a lot of men (& women) do at one time or another so I don't view that as specifically thai.

Hubbies mates are all 30's, regular guys, high school ed, government workers or business owners & apart from hubby, none of them had actually been exposed to tourist "culture". I find it interesting that they don't have the stereotypical "traditional" traits that many say are inherent in thai men. so maybe the close proximmity to their families & people who have known them all their life means they behave better? Or maybe the stereotyopes are outdated?

But as was always the point, different people have different views & experiences.

Of my beach based friends, I agree with llewynx last paragraph. I also know a few guys who have a LOT of farang women, they tend to be faithful to the one their are with at the time but due to the transient nature of the women, have no issue with picking another one up practically as soon as the other one has gone.

Several of them have got tired of the game & would like to meet one to settle down with but once the reputation is there it is very hard for them to shake it off & for a women to be able to take them seriously. Many a time a girl has asked me what a guy was like & it is hard explaining the truth to someone who doesn't know the lifestyle & I don't beleive it is my place to slag him off for living life of a single man.

[jdinasia]

so llewynx ...does this mean that you cannot trust your guy? if ALL MEN CHEAT?

Why not re-read what she posted? She didn't say 'all men cheat', you did.

The boyfriend said most Thai men cheat, not all.

On the cheating thing, when I asked him about if his friends cheated on their wives and girlfriends (and they are guys from all parts of society - from poor to rich, "beach boys" and land and resort owners), he thought for a while and then said "All of them cheat".

I must have misread that

[sbk]

so llewynx ...does this mean that you cannot trust your guy? if ALL MEN CHEAT?

Why not re-read what she posted? She didn't say 'all men cheat', you did.

The boyfriend said most Thai men cheat, not all.

On the cheating thing, when I asked him about if his friends cheated on their wives and girlfriends (and they are guys from all parts of society - from poor to rich, "beach boys" and land and resort owners), he thought for a while and then said "All of them cheat".

I must have misread that

He said, all of his friends cheat. Not all Thai men cheat. My husband has a few good friends, and of those, none cheat. So, I guess it depends who he is hanging out with

And yeah, I can see the broken hearted thing happening with beach boys. I knew aaguy who got very serious with one of the first farang girls he dated, she went home, blew him off and that was that. Now, he's a serial dater. (If dating is really the appropriate word for this).

And Lovedablues, I just have to say that I find that the longer one lives in Thailand the more realistic one gets about the different types of people there are here. It's not all black and white but shades of gray.

[somchai jones]

A very interesting thread.

Beach boys aside, another angle.

Whilst on a contract for several months some years ago at a leading Thai insurance company in Bangkok, I would occassionally go out in the evening with several of the employees, mostly heads of departments, so, quite well off middle class Thai men. They ranged in age from late twenties to mid fifties.

Invariably after the meal, they would take me to their favuorite members club where we would drink away the evening.

Out of the eight or so regulars, only one was not married. Almost every time we went, the same three (all married) would leave to go to short time hotels with hostesses.

So from this experience, we might deduce that Thai men are certainly not all cheats but a percentage are.

A bigger percentage than farang man in their home countries? Probably, yes.

Having said that, we must remember that there is certainly more opportunity for them to cheat in Bangkok than say the average 'western' capital and if the stakes were the same, the percentages probably would be too.

One thing I have noticed however, is that a larger percentage of the Thai men I've known are much more likely to talk about cheating/having cheated/intention to cheat, particularly in front of women. A case in point being when my wife and I were having dinner with a Thai friend (he was a middle aged businessman, we were both in our early thirties at the time)/. Over dinner he proceeded to tell us (with some pride) how he was due for his monthly 'bath' very soon. The fact that my wife knew he was married and we had all eaten at his house the week before didn't seem to bother him.

The above points are not criticisms, just observations from my own experiences.

[sbk]

My husband and I were just discussing this, I mentioned llewynx's post regarding her husbands friends and he said "must be the company he keeps". His believes that of the men he knows that he thinks don't cheat, he doesn't see any reason why they would hide it from him. His point being that cheaters cheat openly (at least amongst the guys) so those who don't appear to be cheating (and don't seem to have that kind of personality) most likely aren't. No point in hiding it here, everyone here would know about it already anyway.

In fact, his best friend had a bad experience with his wife cheating on him. I asked my husband if he thought his friend would cheat on his wife and he thought not, the man is too straight (hence why he is my husband's best friend) and that he would be very surprised if he had. And besides, why would he lie about it?

[llewynx]

Several of them have got tired of the game & would like to meet one to settle down with but once the reputation is there it is very hard for them to shake it off & for a women to be able to take them seriously. Many a time a girl has asked me what a guy was like & it is hard explaining the truth to someone who doesn't know the lifestyle & I don't beleive it is my place to slag him off for living life of a single man.

Yeah, this is exactly what my guy's been saying as well. He's wanted a "real" girlfriend for a long time, but since he's not that into Thai girls (like I'm not that into farang men...) he's been having trouble finding someone he likes that is actually staying around for more than a couple of months. There are not many longterm farang girls where I live (are there anywhere in Thailand?) so he had kind of given up before we met through a common friend. Amazing that we've been living on the same small island for years and not knowing of each other. Or maybe it was just that the timing was right just then

My husband and I were just discussing this, I mentioned llewynx's post regarding her husbands friends and he said "must be the company he keeps". His believes that of the men he knows that he thinks don't cheat, he doesn't see any reason why they would hide it from him. His point being that cheaters cheat openly (at least amongst the guys) so those who don't appear to be cheating (and don't seem to have that kind of personality) most likely aren't. No point in hiding it here, everyone here would know about it already anyway.

The company he keeps is actually very varied and from different parts of the country, some local to the island and some have moved in from other parts. They are from different social backgrounds, and only one of them is what we would call a beach boy. The rest are just normal guys, some have money/property, some not. Since I too found it a bit strange that all of his friends/acquaintances had been unfaithful (at some point, not all the time) I asked what their wives /girlfriends did about it and the ones who knew what was going on accepted it after a day or two of shouting and the "silent treatment". My guy says he's never cheated on a girl he's been with, unless you count the times he's been in a "relationship" with a girl who's left and he got tired of waiting, which was the case when we met. However, before it got serious between us he phoned the girl, asked her if she was planning on coming back, and when she still didn't know hen or if he finished it. So yes, there are a few decent beach boys out there, mine seems to be one of them

[girlx]

So, to make it clear, I am 40 years old and have lived in Thailand for 17 years. I am well aware of the shortcomings of some Thai men, just as I am aware of the shortcomings of some Thai women. But, as an adult, I understand that one person's generalizations are a result of their experiences, and that another's experiences can be completely different and thus that person would have different generalizations.

I think that some people have difficulty realizing this fact.

yes, with all respect, like you! sorry but we are just on opposite sides of this agreement, it doesn't make either of us wrong.

my experience: i live in a small village on a medium sized island in the south. before that i lived in and worked for a new media company in bangkok, in an old neighborhood not far from a tourist area. before that i lived on another island, which was bigger and busier. before that i travelled all around thailand for a couple of years, including up in isaan, sometimes with a thai partner and sometimes with a farang male friend.

all of these places have "bar boys" or "beach boys" or just boys who work with a lot of tourists. these are the boys who are in a lot of cases by necessity (no money, can't find a thai girl, want free sex) AND also because they are fascinated by and attracted to farang women, are in some sort of relationship with a farang woman. these guys i trust the least, though i don't feel they are all untrustworthy. they have learned behavior- they have to quickly adjust to exchange with a vastly different culture (western), get sucked in and fall in love early on when they are naive, quickly give up and become jaded, and use foreigners for as long as they are there for money (if needed) and sex from then on or until it works out with someone again. (not to mention their vices, that's another whole thread). there are one or two in shorter relationships who have not given me any reason to think they sleep with anyone but their own girlfriend or wife. these guys often have their own thing going- art, film, whatever. they aren't as focused on sex and they are nice guys. they even support their girlfiends. so yes there are some.

for about 2 1/2 of those years like i mentioned (on an island, in bangkok, travelling) i was with a thai boyfriend (from isaan). he was one of these boys above, though he had only worked in a bar for a month or two before i met him. he was basically a good guy, he was just of an ignorant mindframe that thought every foreigner had lots of money that they should just give him. he didn't have much ambition otherwise. some of his friends were the same, some were not. he was a good musician, but didn't practice enough or try to find a way to improve his life with it. on the other hand, when i did make him up a resume, pay for some classes, and send him out on interviews for regular jobs, thais would tell him blatantly that he was too old, that they didn't want a man, that he looked like he was from lao(!), etc. so i learned that a lot of what he did (ie. latching onto me) was out of desperation. also i think he did love me and we did have a laugh or two- and i couldn't have spent so much time with him if there wasn't some connection. but the other big problem with him was that he was very stuck in his thai way of dealing with things and wasn't willing to help bridge the cultural gap in discussions. him i consider my "bad" experience, though it was only bad because we could not resolve our differences by communicating. i am totally analytical and he is totally not. he wasn't smart enough or was too disadvantaged to improve his life. ce la vie. byebye. oh, he also was of the opinion that the more women a thai man has the better, though he only slept with one other woman (and maybe made a few bar girl runs) that i know of in the time that i met him. when i was with him, he was with me. and i was the same, we had a nice agreement to be safe if not honest.

before him and after him i have met several other thai men whom i would consider friends- some through the tourist industry, some through working in bangkok, some through my ex, some working locals. one is a filmmaker in chiang mai, one is a movie star in thailand now (that happened after i met him!), some are musicians or artists, taxi drivers, some manage bars or bungalows, some have little stalls. a few were police men!!! some are boyfriends of my foreign friends here..... the biggest generalization i have made on here is to say most (not all) thai men are of the opinion that non-monogamy is a-ok! absolutely every one of them i can think of that i have some interaction with has cheated on their woman (or tried to take me home) whether their woman was thai or farang, whether they were married or not. but that's not what they tell their women. or in cases when the women like me prefers the honesty and safety of having it out in the open if it is going to happen, they just go see a bar girl and the girl goes off to her own venue of choice for the night.

i am not saying this is wrong. a lot of thais don't think it is wrong. just like a lot of arabs probably don't think it is wrong. but does it offend me and you because of our western upbringing, yes! (and it does seem to make thai women jealous despite their eastern upbringing and despite the fact in a lot of cases they are doing it too which is definitely unacceptable!)

and what about farang men with girlfriends here? there aren't sex tourists here or many foreigners with thai wives where i've lived so i cannot comment on that class. i meet a lot of "nice" foreign tourist guys where i live. if they are single they sleep around. if they are not they don't. this is not always the case in farangland, of course. but in my past experience in the US, i would say a smaller percentage of men found it acceptable to them to sleep with more than one woman. many of them trip up, but they do try. i don't think a lot of thai men try.

but maybe if you find one who really wants to understand your perspective they will. there is a group of women here who have married thai men and taken them home to their countries. the thai man gets a shot at seeing where they come from and has made a commitment. the chances are if things are happy he will make an effort to be monogamous. he might even enjoy it. i find it hard to believe that moving back to thailand where sex with no ties is so readily available and with the general mindset, that these men don't stray. but that's my opinion. i know for sure a few do. only they can really answer that.

maybe, as the OP sort of suggested, polygamy is the way. but in thailand, i definitely feel monogamy is still a revolutionary idea.

[meemiathai]

Actually most of the thai guys I have seen do not cheat, they just can't be bothered too much on covering up what they've been doing. They do it openly so maybe we can't call it cheating, can we?

Whilst more HKers tend to cheat coz they know they can't get away with it if they let their wives know. I have no idea what farang men are like.

I am sure there is a significant no. of thai men who don't cheat but that does not naturally make them good husbands, MHO. On the other hand, I know a handful of men who do cheat but are very responsible to their families and make their women very happy with life.

BTW, I feel happy for you, llewynx. "mak mak".

[meemiathai]

whereas most foreign girls jump into bed with them in a matter of meetings with no strings attached.

Oh I want something like that to happen in my life! I am 5 foot tall. My measurements are 32 40 42. Can I be a beach boy?

I am going to lie down and fantazise for a little while.......

farang women throwing themselves at me...........

[sbk]

Actually, girlx, I don't recall ever seeing you post this before

the biggest generalization i have made on here is to say most (not all) thai men are of the opinion that non-monogamy is a-ok!

Something I think I have already pointed out in regards to my conversation with my husband. He would know if someone were cheating on his wife simply because no one sees a reason to hide it. As meemiathai has pointed out, if its all out in the open, can it really be cheating?

But anyway, as far as your bar boys/beach boys analysis goes, well, I tend to agree, I think it is possible for there to be decent ones, just that the lifestyle tends to attract a certain kind of man. And those aren't the ones who want to settle down, get a job and have a family. I think the idea that they can't get a Thai wife may have less to do with poverty (since that doesn't seem to be a problem for literally thousands of other men) but more to do with the kind of person that man may be.

As for llewynx, well good for her. Just goes to show that we should all learn to judge a person by their merits, not by their job or their social status.

[sbk]

whereas most foreign girls jump into bed with them in a matter of meetings with no strings attached.

Oh I want something like that to happen in my life! I am 5 foot tall. My measurements are 32 40 42. Can I be a beach boy?

I am going to lie down and fantazise for a little while.......

farang women throwing themselves at me...........

Actually, most of the beach boys aren't that small. Sorry

[gisele]

The concept "cheating" seems to be open for interpretation.

Is it cheating if it is not secret?

Is it still called cheating if it is secret but then discovered?

Many beach boys in Samui come from Nakhon si thammarat, where I live now. I will state the case of the son of a friend of mine.

He is married to a local girl ,they have 2 children, I met her she had just given birth to her last child and she lives with the mother in law, (my friend). The guy left while she was pregnant to work in Samui where he promptly took a girlfriend.

He comes around once in a while to check on the kids and his wife, sometimes he stays for a month or so then he is off again to Samui and whatever awaits him there.

His wife still lives with the mother in law, she is of course not happy with him having the girlfriend but what can she do.

I think he is cheating. I bet she didn't get married thinking he would leave her regularly and have a girlfriend somewhere else.

[somchai jones]

The concept "cheating" seems to be open for interpretation.

Is it cheating if it is not secret?

Is it still called cheating if it is secret but then discovered?

Many beach boys in Samui come from Nakhon si thammarat, where I live now. I will state the case of the son of a friend of mine.

He is married to a local girl ,they have 2 children, I met her she had just given birth to her last child and she lives with the mother in law, (my friend). The guy left while she was pregnant to work in Samui where he promptly took a girlfriend.

He comes around once in a while to check on the kids and his wife, sometimes he stays for a month or so then he is off again to Samui and whatever awaits him there.

His wife still lives with the mother in law, she is of course not happy with him having the girlfriend but what can she do.

I think he is cheating. I bet she didn't get married thinking he would leave her regularly and have a girlfriend somewhere else.

A case of this guy having his cake and eating it. It may suit him now (possibly forever) but ultimately he may find that this lifestyle doesn't lead to true or lasting happiness.

[seville]

Okay I'm going to jump in here just to put some perspective on things, which of course is my perspective. Now I live on Phangan and have lived where GirlX lives and know many of the locals that come from the area that SBK lives. Here is my observation.

Thong Nai Pan is the Wild Wild West of the Island. I'm sure with the new boxing stadium and the snooker hall that things are running a muck out there. I guess if I lived out there full time like GirlX does, I would start getting a little jaded too.

Now I know that GirlX has lived in many places etc. However, she has been on TNP for what 3 years now? Things have gotten worse out there in terms of all the boys gambling, fighting and drinking since I lived there and I'm sure that it is wearing her thin.

I have to wonder why she chooses to stay there. There are plenty of places, like where SBK lives, where the locals are absolutely wonderful. People talk about Had Rin being a place where you find the worst type of people.

Well, TNP has a large number of folks who all could use 6 months putting on the Monks Robes to get their values put back in order.

SBK lives in one of the most Traditional Parts of the island, in terms in how the local people lived before the tourism boom. As a matter of fact most of the Thai men that I know that live in Ban Thai/Ban Kai are absolutely wonderful. Hard working, good to their wives and children. The kind of guys that any women would be thrilled to marry. Most of them are and because they are traditional Thai men and hold the teachings of the Buddha as the path to follow have no interest in us crude farang women. I'm still hoping to get lucky enough to find a good one, so keep your eyes open for me SBK

Here's one more interesting fact

Many of the men that have gone over board on their drinking, been abusive to thier famlies or want to go on a gambling sprey get kicked out of there homes and head straight for Thong Nai Pan.

How do I know this. My ex lives on Thong Nai Pan and he comes from one of the most influent famlies in the area, not just Phangan, but Samui as well. He was born and raised in Ban Tai.

[khall64au]

So, what is the big deal about beach boys?

If we were to equate a similar strain of social equity within our own (home country) social groups - would we even entertain the thought of interacting in these clans?

Is this one big psychedelic anthropological study of Thai beach boys going on here?

Get a life ladies!

[retirednavyman]

Thanks so much for all the responses...though I can say I was a bit baffled by the conflicting advice. One thing I was sad about was all the beach boy stuff, yes this is a beach boy, but I don' t think he fits the negative stereotype. I spent extensive amounts of time with his friends, and girlfriend's of his friends (one of them a Canadian, who had lived there and been dating a Thai man for over a year) who all vouched for him never hanging around tourist girls and being a good man in general. Plus, there is my instinct which tells me he is a very good man. Many of you might think i am naive (hopefully not), or maybe I don't know enough about Thai culture--who knows?

I do have some background in this field of dating international men though. My first love, was essentially a version of a "beach boy" that I met in Mexico..and we ended up in a 3 year relationship. Luckily I lived close to the border and could see him often, and eventually we moved to Guadalajara together. It was difficult though, the communication, cultural differences, constantly contemplating visas and marriage and all that.

Needless to say, I was shocked that I found myself falling in love again in a foreign country (I dated guys in the states between the two)...luckily, I am a bit older and having gone through this once before eliminates any feelings of total desperation. I do teach English, and already know of several jobs in Krabi, but having lived in Guadalajara, I know that it is so hard to live in a foreign country with foreign pay, and have any kind of debt--which I do. Plus, I am very happy with my job right now. So, as of now I am trying to adjust to the idea of not seeing him until next June. We talk nearly every day, actually he just called me to say goodnight.

HOWEVER, there is one complication, which hopefully you'll try to be kind about, is that he is still semi-in another long distance relationship with a Thai girl. I have known about her since day one. She is studying in Bangkok, and basically her parents have refused to let them marry because she is buddhist and he is muslim. He hasn't seen her in at least a year, and the one time she visited she stayed only one day. He wants to break things off with her, and I think probably will, but he doesn't want to hurt her. At first this bothered me and I told him that as things got more serious. At one point, he agreed to end things with her, but when he then was asking for assurances that we would work out, I freaked out and thought who am I to tell him to do that when I am going to be gone for a year, and though we love eachother, there is no guarantee that we will suceed--I just didn't want to mess up his life in case I changed my mind when I got home.

So, even though I am sure I sound really naive now, all I can say is that we openly communicate about it on a regular basis and when I am upset about it or have questions he is very caring and honest. He is also very supportive about the long distance thing, constantly reassuring me it will be okay, and reminding me not to dwell on it and time will go by quickly.

So there it is...fully disclosed. I can' t wait to hear your comments now. Also, thanks for the book suggestions. Any other book suggestions on Thai culture and language would be much appreciated.

Also, FYI, my initial research on Islam has taught me a lot about the misconceptions people have about how they treat their women. I think the things people mostly think about are in regard to the middle east, in the Koran itself women are granted many rights not afforded for in the bible or even in the US until the early 1900s...I don't want to debate Islam, nor claim to be an expert, I just want to pass down this info, as I just recently started looking into it and was really surprised by it.

Again, I woud love any info on how Islam plays out in Thailand...though it seems to be scarce.

Love can be so complicated, but why make it so? That's my question.

If you stick to one person without second guessing yourself about trust and is definitely faithful, then you have nothing to worry about

As far as long distance relationships go, well, it's not something I would subscribe to, but to each his own

There's my 2 cents, like it or not, lol

[girlx]

Things have gotten worse out there in terms of all the boys gambling, fighting and drinking since I lived there and I'm sure that it is wearing her thin.

hi seville, thanks for your comments. actually i live in yai beach, which is not like noi beach. the locals here are lovely- even most of the beach boys. they have a reputation for being hardcore mafia, and i am sure there is a lot of that under the surface, but the ones here for the most part behave pretty well and even though they do have their vices are overall nice guys. occasionally we do get the drifters from other areas of thailand and i am sure there are lots of people hiding out here (heard that too), but they run in their own little circles. i am not overwhelmed, i love it here. noi beach attracts a different element, at least these days. i don't really like to go over there much at all. that's where the fighting and gambling and sexual attacks occur. yai beach is pretty harmonious. in the past couple of years i haven't seen anything particularly shocking or untowards happening here.

[seville]

Yes, it's funny how one little cove can make a difference. I lived on Yai as well and never once ever considered moving to Noi, although I stayed over there when I first broke things off with my ex.

All the [/b]Big bosses live on Yai and they like their peace and quiet. The bigger ones live in Ban Tai.

Regardless of that.

I brought up what I did because of my experience and the mind set that seems to be prevelent on TNP and Ban Tai. They are two totally different places that go by a different set of rules.

You have mentioned many times that most of the Thai Men you know cheat on thier partners and thier women except it. Well, on TNP that is more then likely true.

When I was with my ex. Sin and alot of the Thai people out there would tell me, Oh he loves you very much and his family has a lot of money and one day he will stop. Sin use to be awful!! He told me the stuff he used to do. It's hard to believe it now since he and Oy are so happy.

Now the Thai people that are from Ban Tai, a lot that are related to my ex. either by blood or marriage.

Never, said anything like that. As a matter of fact, one of his Aunts who I met after being with him for awhile. Was like, Oh you are the Farang Bah that has been with him for so long. She laughed and just thought I was a complete idiot for being with him. So did all the other people from Ban Tai, but she was the only one who was out spoken enough to tell me I was stupid.

To take that even futher. When we met he was living on Had Tien and he has a lot of family on that beach. He was under his families eye and was doing well. When we move to Yai, he went nuts and has turned into a horrible horrible mess.

I guess what I wanted to do is to share with the other members that I know where both you and SBK live and have Kraup Krua in both places.

Please don't get huffy GirlX, but your posts are often very flambatory concerning Thai Men and one can only assume it's because of where you live. You seem to have a hard time believing that SBK lives someplace that is totally diferent from where you live or have lived before.

I'm just pointing out that she does live someplace that is completely different then you and the people are different.

[girlx]

Please don't get huffy GirlX, but your posts are often very flambatory concerning Thai Men and one can only assume it's because of where you live.

no, it is not because of where i live. i know many people in ban tai as well and they are the same as in thong nai pan. i have also lived in other areas of thailand. (if you read my long post on the last page you would see that.)

the point is sbk and i have had different experiences. she is entitled to her resulting opinion and so am i. in this case, we are probably both correct.

Edited August 27, 2006 by girlx

[girlx]

p.s. i wonder who it is you were with? i can't think of anyone here whom it might be! maybe a guy named romeo?

Edited August 27, 2006 by girlx

[seville]

p.s. i wonder who it is you were with? i can't think of anyone here whom it might be! maybe a guy named romeo?

Nope not Romeo, but I know who he is. I know you've lived other places.

I'll be back in about 9 weeks!!!! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[girlx]

just in time for rainy season!!!