Problem with Thai wife, maybe wanting a divorce, advice please!

[MauiSteveBKK]

1. Understand the "legal issues" by talking to a lawyer.

2. If you don't want to take the "legal" approach, sit her down and talk reasonably. Several times. Seek a settlement. For the children. For the sake of sanity.

3. If you've exhausted ALL avenues, and feel you have no other alternatives ... I'd take everything you can get your hands on. I don't mean to sound ugly, but there are OTHER reasons and people now in her life. She is getting advice from Mother or parents or has a new lover.

4. Get in both cars or whatever and take off with them. Make sure she gets as little as possible.

5. Go to Kuala Lumpur for 6 months after you've done whatever your idea is. International Retirement magazine just named it the #1 Country in Asia. I just went there and loved it. Go!

Good Luck with the future events. Keep your sanity.

Best Wishes.

[Ulic]

Lots of good advice from hiring a private detective to getting a good lawyer. After getting the goods then start your negotiations and exit.

Best of luck.

[nontabury]

Many people keep suggesting, get a Thai lawyer, this sounds sensible. Yet is it! I know of a thai wife who could not come to an agreement with her Farang husband regarding the splitting of the family assets, so she went to see her HUSBANDS Thai lawyer and offered him ( the lawyer) a financial bribe for him to persuade her husband to agree with her demands. Everything was then sorted out within a couple of days.

[pkspeaker]

Don't listen to all these jokers that are telling you "see a lawyer, you are entitled to 50%, I think tey are just trying to hook you up with an expensive lawyer, at the end of the day you will get nothing, its her cars and her house, Thai law makes it hard to put a 'lean' on something like that, the courts are not going to be friendly to a farang that wants to take a bunch on money off his poor Thai wife, and then leave the country with it, forget it..

The woman doesn't even have alot and you think a thai court is gonna freeze her out of a house and cars that she legally owns..What a joke

Remember this site is sponsored by lawyers

And what Maui just said! Take off with the cars! Oh sure ad she calls the police and your in jail for autotheft! What a joke ITS HER CARs

Edited January 25, 2015 by pkspeaker

[maidee]

a smell a troll ... 2 posts and this ... my soon to be ex rob me from everything and i was so good/foolish to buy her land/house/car/diamond/gold

[gemguy]

You must consult a lawyer and not listen to our advise. You must declare all details to the lawyer who can help you if you get half of everything, some or nothing. You have another solution too. Just tell your wife Oh my God I have inherited 2 million dollar and see what the reaction will be. Just say you have to wait for a year to get the money.

A lawyer is always a good recommendation and many people here are recommending just that ....but, here in Thailand....maybe more so than anywhere else you may have happened to live.....you really have to do your home work and choose or pick the right lawyer.

I can assure you there is more chance of settling on a bad lawyer than there is finding and settling on a good lawyer....the right lawyer.

I can assure you many of them will take your money and they will make like they are doing work on your behalf while it seems they are going to help you resolve your problems.

However , when they are really required to focus on your case and truly work hard at resolving your case and be there for you, most of them will fail you and or largely disappoint you while they now tell you there is nothing more they can do to help you .....and by the way..."Here is my Bill and service charges"......and it is not cheap considering they did nothing really to help you resolve your problem.

If a lawyer says they can help you ...but they are not willing to give the names and numbers of former clients , in good faith, to prove that he has previously satisfied and correctly served his client base....then I would be very cautious about using their services as their track record of performance is more important than their sales pitch.

In this case, you want a divorce related lawyer with a big bite and a track record rather than a lawyer with a loud bark and no experience in divorce case settlements.

Cheers

[KonaRain]

MOVE ..

You can visit me on Hawaii Island!!

I've been there..

?

[Godders]

Under Thai law, you are each entitled to half of the assets (other than gifts such as wedding, birthday presents etc) acquired since you married, irrespective of who paid for them.

If you have made up your mind to divorce, see a lawyer to confirm your entitlement and then try to persuade your wife to opt for a mutually agreed divorce, which will cost you 20 baht at the local registry office.

Failing that you will be at the mercy of a contested court case, rapacious lawyers, a vengeful wife and an unsympathetic panel of Thai adjudicators.

Good luck!

[Straight8]

I know an Aussie guy who was married for several years ran a succesful restaurant bought a house condo and land all in her name

he went to the hospital for some tests and came home and told his wife he had throat cancer

she split with him the next day..devastaed he went back to aus and took two years to get sorted then returned to Thailand

went to see the wife to sort out the divorce and split of the assets and was threatened with murder if he tried to take the matter to court

nice people...wouldnt trust anyone here especially when the girl is old enough to be your daughter/grandaughter

My Mate in Torquay (and he was only in his 40's) was in a hospice dieing of cancer. His Thai Tilac (Lek) had already moved a taxi driver into their home and he wasn't even dead. Nobody could bring themselves to tell him.

That's just one story and I could tell u dozens.

Don't be surprised on how they deal with their divorce settlement there.

And the runs keep piling up on the board.

Thais 1,000,000 - Farangs 0

Foreigners just refuse to use 0.01% of their brain power when it comes to marrying Thai women. That's all it takes.

Oh well, just an day in the life of a Farang married to Thai.

[brd]

4........this is blackmail asking for divorce and looking for new boobs to attract an other victim being a national sport.

Only men can ask for divorce under Thainess every one is talking about though you are in charge not her.

5........do not eat mushrooms cooked by her.

6........No is an asset use it more often.--------------brd

having been invited by my own wife to leave twice...

.

Wow.........I just can't imagine why your wife would asked you to leave brd...........

.

OP, get legal advice first---then decide if you want to try to save the marriage or not. At least you will know how to proceed, unless you have built the house on Papa's land, you should be entitled to 50% of everything purchased in the marriage.

Most of all--look after your health if it is to be a long & drawn out battle. Stress is a killer.

Under the usual Thainess the women love to have a whiter skin kid but they hate to share them with any father neither Thai nor Farang therefore the kids never benefit from a father education, the mothers can not feed them and make a living therefore entrust them to grandparents raising them not but rather like pets and or buffalos.

I can advise anyone facing a love story with a Thai woman.

My first of all advice is :

if you are the genuine father implement a NO policy to your wife, put your foot down to impose your standards to get rid of the sub standards ones, be present and have a budget.

Mine ( budget ) has not changed in ten years after having started high to show her commitment with permanence now raising three boys of course the free money she had initially is reduced to none..... ( resulting in not seeing any in laws or outlaws the real undoers !}.

Though English is the language to communicate not Thai / Lao charabia learnt from kids years.

[godden]

What ever happens please don't join the Pattaya flying club

[connda]

What ever happens please don't join the Pattaya flying club

Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing, but the Pattaya Flying Club don't have a very good record of walking away after landings.

[BlueSkyCowboy]

Why? Why? Why?.............Would you put yourself in a position like this? She has gotten everything from you, I doubt talking to divide 50-50 will happen.

if you paid for everything, why is your name not on there? I'm bewildered.

Next.........

I am not bewildered, he was in love and she played with his dingaling and he bought her a car and she played a little more with his dingaling and he built a house for her and then comes the refrain.

ONLY buy in Thailand for the wife what u are willing and able to leave behind, just like at home LOLOLOLOL

Edited January 26, 2015 by BlueSkyCowboy

[BlueSkyCowboy]

See a lawyer - you may be entitled to up to 50%

Can she prove she earned the funds for the purchases?

Did she pay tax on those earnings?

Etc etc.

First I want to thank the man for bringing up this very entertaining issue. I think it was started ca 1901 and never ended hahahaha

[BlueSkyCowboy]

What ever happens please don't join the Pattaya flying club

Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing, but the Pattaya Flying Club don't have a very good record of walking away after landings.

Are there propeller strikes?

[BlueSkyCowboy]

Under Thai law, you are each entitled to half of the assets (other than gifts such as wedding, birthday presents etc) acquired since you married, irrespective of who paid for them.

If you have made up your mind to divorce, see a lawyer to confirm your entitlement and then try to persuade your wife to opt for a mutually agreed divorce, which will cost you 20 baht at the local registry office.

Failing that you will be at the mercy of a contested court case, rapacious lawyers, a vengeful wife and an unsympathetic panel of Thai adjudicators.

Good luck!

I am married to a good Thai woman, but the old 3 F philosophy is still applies for most guys. If it flies, f...ks or floats, rent don't buy.

I did not give the mother a dowry I bought 30 Rai of land and planted rubber. Now we have a great business in Pattaya and I am retired. The trees grow without me, but labor and fertilizer cost money and the family is not very helpfull.

Edited January 26, 2015 by BlueSkyCowboy

[gigman]

my lawyer said to me;

"when you have a divorce problem then there is only one best thing to do;

grab your "toys" and run as fast as you can. Faster you run less you loose and nothing else will work for you in the end better then this"

Edited January 26, 2015 by gigman

[richusa]

The 1st Falang to work his entire life, build some capital to retire, and then hand everything over to a Buffalo milking machine....gets the (sur)prize....NOTHING.....No get out of jail free card, Nothing.

Why give everything to a girl who did not even finnish school, had never had 20k Baht in her posession. And then hand over hundreds of thousand Baht....and not even put your name on anything.

Money grabbing in-laws, bf on the side, cash stashing.......

One poster was right when his lawyer said, if there is one inkling of a breath of divorce...GRAB EVERYTHING AND HEAD FOR THE HILLS.

[IMA_FARANG]

There is an option for an "amicable divorce" in Thai law, but only if BOTH parties agree to it, and if both parties agree a mutual uncontested split of financial assets.

That can be done, but it requires a signed statement of the assets involved and a signed agreement by both parties to their consent to the division of those assets.

After 10 years together, such an agreement most likely will not be easy to get.

However, if you COULD get such an agreement, both of you could simply go to he local Ampur, and apply for an uncontested divorce with agreed division of joint assets.

The truth is however, such a divorce is rare because agreement is not usually possible.

But at least, in theory, it is possible.

[Capt Rob]

You must consult a lawyer and not listen to our advise. You must declare all details to the lawyer who can help you if you get half of everything, some or nothing. You have another solution too. Just tell your wife Oh my God I have inherited 2 million dollar and see what the reaction will be. Just say you have to wait for a year to get the money.

A lawyer is always a good recommendation and many people here are recommending just that ....but, here in Thailand....maybe more so than anywhere else you may have happened to live.....you really have to do your home work and choose or pick the right lawyer.

I can assure you there is more chance of settling on a bad lawyer than there is finding and settling on a good lawyer....the right lawyer.

I can assure you many of them will take your money and they will make like they are doing work on your behalf while it seems they are going to help you resolve your problems.

However , when they are really required to focus on your case and truly work hard at resolving your case and be there for you, most of them will fail you and or largely disappoint you while they now tell you there is nothing more they can do to help you .....and by the way..."Here is my Bill and service charges"......and it is not cheap considering they did nothing really to help you resolve your problem.

If a lawyer says they can help you ...but they are not willing to give the names and numbers of former clients , in good faith, to prove that he has previously satisfied and correctly served his client base....then I would be very cautious about using their services as their track record of performance is more important than their sales pitch.

In this case, you want a divorce related lawyer with a big bite and a track record rather than a lawyer with a loud bark and no experience in divorce case settlements.

Cheers

Lots of practical and sometimes helpful advice here ( with a light dusting of welcome to misery ) I liked 'Connda and Gemguy" philosophical approach.

Think the overwhelming take away here is you need take action to follow through on your doubts - a page with the pros/cons of various options might help, using the advice of posters and a 'recommended brief' to assist. If you do not take flanking action you will perhaps wonder why later. Good luck.

[timendres]

Your making me think twice.....as I'm about to get married to my Thai lady soon.

I think I'll just buy a foreign freehold condo the size of a house in MY name BEFORE getting married. Would she have any right to 50% of this should we get divorced?

Invest in a simple Pre-nuptial agreement. If she objects, RED FLAG!

Rent, never buy. The concept of "investing" in real estate here is naive at best. If you feel it is not possible/practical to rent, and believe you need to build something, then spend only what you can comfortably walk away from.

Keep your bank accounts in your name ONLY with no joint access of any kind. It is easy to transfer money into her account when needed.

If you love her, and you wish to bestow large gifts upon her, then do so with an open heart as a GIFT that you can afford to give and never expect returned.

And I wish that happiness follows for the rest of your days.

While there are endless stories of bitter endings and gutted Farang, there are also many stories of lifelong bliss. We can never know for sure which is our fate. So protect yourself. When there is doubt in a relationship, the specter of financial loss can make the waters impossible to navigate, and in some cases doom a relationship that otherwise had a chance of surviving.

[CapeThai]

Your making me think twice.....as I'm about to get married to my Thai lady soon.

I think I'll just buy a foreign freehold condo the size of a house in MY name BEFORE getting married. Would she have any right to 50% of this should we get divorced?

Invest in a simple Pre-nuptial agreement. If she objects, RED FLAG!

Rent, never buy. The concept of "investing" in real estate here is naive at best. If you feel it is not possible/practical to rent, and believe you need to build something, then spend only what you can comfortably walk away from.

Keep your bank accounts in your name ONLY with no joint access of any kind. It is easy to transfer money into her account when needed.

If you love her, and you wish to bestow large gifts upon her, then do so with an open heart as a GIFT that you can afford to give and never expect returned.

And I wish that happiness follows for the rest of your days.

While there are endless stories of bitter endings and gutted Farang, there are also many stories of lifelong bliss. We can never know for sure which is our fate. So protect yourself. When there is doubt in a relationship, the specter of financial loss can make the waters impossible to navigate, and in some cases doom a relationship that otherwise had a chance of surviving.

Thanks mate, good and valuable advise for a change without any Thai bashing

[nontabury]

Your making me think twice.....as I'm about to get married to my Thai lady soon.

I think I'll just buy a foreign freehold condo the size of a house in MY name BEFORE getting married. Would she have any right to 50% of this should we get divorced?

Invest in a simple Pre-nuptial agreement. If she objects, RED FLAG!

Rent, never buy. The concept of "investing" in real estate here is naive at best. If you feel it is not possible/practical to rent, and believe you need to build something, then spend only what you can comfortably walk away from.

Keep your bank accounts in your name ONLY with no joint access of any kind. It is easy to transfer money into her account when needed.

If you love her, and you wish to bestow large gifts upon her, then do so with an open heart as a GIFT that you can afford to give and never expect returned.

And I wish that happiness follows for the rest of your days.

While there are endless stories of bitter endings and gutted Farang, there are also many stories of lifelong bliss. We can never know for sure which is our fate. So protect yourself. When there is doubt in a relationship, the specter of financial loss can make the waters impossible to navigate, and in some cases doom a relationship that otherwise had a chance of surviving.

Thanks mate, good and valuable advise for a change without any Thai bashing[/quot

Regarding the purchase of a condo, if you buy it in your name before you marry, she then has no claim to your asset in the event that the marriage collapses, however if you buy the condo after you are legally married, and then the marriage fails, she will be entitled to 50%, Of the then value.

The same applies if you buy a house, the main difference is that you can purchase the condo in YOUR name, whereas if it's a house you will need to buy the land in a Thai persons name and then lease from them.

Both purchases can be straightforward IF you use a good lawyer and even then double and treble check all documentation, which must include an English translation, by a competent person.

[Exsexyman]

Just find a Thai lady you don't like and buy her a house and pick up. Saves a lot of time and stress in the long run.

[aboctok]

1........do not go for a divorce if that does not suit you at all.

2........build up a case to protect your back against her in case a divorce is final prior to have agreed all the terms by both parties.

3........legally you have 50% but technically how can you get them though ....?

4........this is blackmail asking for divorce and looking for new boobs to attract an other victim being a national sport.

Only men can ask for divorce under Thainess every one is talking about though you are in charge not her.

5........do not eat mushrooms cooked by her.

6........No is an asset use it more often.

Good luck !

P.S.

I am a father of 3 boys ( 14,6,3 ), married legally 10 years ago under Thai and French family laws having been invited by my own wife to leave twice after the birth of the latest two, plus afterwards invited to separate twice, witnessed wife and her mother fighting in our house since I refused to see them undong my education but I am a responsible Adult man/father not playing games neither gambling with feelings, i told her to forget about being an other selfish woman, I have not married her family neither her village and instead of nagging she should help to raise the kids with me properly they are the ones in charge neither her neither me and I do not need three pets.

I am paying for monthly mortgage to the House she owns myself I do own nothing in it as I am a paying guest in Thailand and I pay for school fees, plus monthly allowance plus holidays.......

I am happy and better she behaves well fulfilling her life intelligently otherwise no money if only a Thainess minimum and a lot of pains for her and for the kids unnecessarily she will not have the custody for if only half.

Too much stupidity in derelict Thainess now looking forward to the modern Thailand educated future under the smart new PM self appointed so much better than democratically rottenly like in the past totally non existent representative of a democracy with too many ignorant easy to corrupt their votes with THB 400 each.....

I got a headache trying to read this. Could you re-write this and use periods, at the end of sentences.

You really think some dots will help I sincerely doubt it youre optimistic................

[AnotherOneAmerican]

While there are endless stories of bitter endings and gutted Farang, there are also many stories of lifelong bliss. We can never know for sure which is our fate. So protect yourself. When there is doubt in a relationship, the specter of financial loss can make the waters impossible to navigate, and in some cases doom a relationship that otherwise had a chance of surviving.

Lifelong bliss can only be declared after death, or on deathbed.

I'm thinking no real stories of lifelong bliss, but a few fantasy posts along those lines.

It's not a question of 'if' but 'when'.

As for not spending money on them, why do you think they are with you?

I don't see many people 20+ years older than me as bed mates.

So I can't see it working the other way round.

Most of you wrinkly olds are living in la la land!

Edited January 29, 2015 by AnotherOneAmerican

[nontabury]

While there are endless stories of bitter endings and gutted Farang, there are also many stories of lifelong bliss. We can never know for sure which is our fate. So protect yourself. When there is doubt in a relationship, the specter of financial loss can make the waters impossible to navigate, and in some cases doom a relationship that otherwise had a chance of surviving.

Lifelong bliss can only be declared after death, or on deathbed.

I'm thinking no real stories of lifelong bliss, but a few fantasy posts along those lines.

It's not a question of 'if' but 'when'.

As for not spending money on them, why do you think they are with you?

I don't see many people 20+ years older than me as bed mates.

So I can't see it working the other way round.

Most of you wrinkly olds are living in la la land!

Have you always felt inadequate?

[Muzarella]

If everything is in her name, may be is all refinanced already.

Edited February 11, 2018 by Muzarella

[user343434]

On 1/23/2015 at 8:26 AM, k butler said:

I have bought her a house and car and pick up truck and am not sure what will happen next. I am going to see her this week and see what the position is but I am not hopeful.

somehow the story always continues... is she much younger? Was she a "cashier" in a Bar? Then it is the common old story.. 

 

Did you buy for her or did you at least secure your interests by having a Lawyer signing a loan contract, a proof that you paid the house or anything to pull her into bits and make her losing all if she wants it the hard way.

 

I got a Thai lawyer in Bangkok if the crap hits the fan, he is a bit costly but he knows how to get the wife back to reality,

leaving her empty handed.

 

my wife and I won just a case of land rip off, 3 rai worth 3.6 mil. The owners were just losing their house plus all they have and all of a sudden there is a chanote and its official ours, now for sale for 2.2 mil/rai because it had no chanote before.

Their lawyer went pale as we met first time at the court so that confirms the reputation of him..

 

His 'hit rate' is about 99% and he fully works pro Farang, if he sees no hope he will not take the case, most worried about his top reputation. 

But you need a translator, the office is in Pattaya and she can help seriously as she (German) works only with this lawyer. 

 

https://www.ctapattaya.de/home/our-services/

 

Edited April 18, 2019 by See Will

[user343434]

OOPS, the post is from 2015.. bit too late I reckon..

 

But the Info might be helpful for anyone else, this Lawyer is smashing..