How To Understand Farang Nature...

[Espada]

i think most members here are farang. i would like to learn about farang nature. especially gay farang. i'm thai... never been to europ or america or australia. what's character of gay farang? let's open mind talk.

i would like to know that

a. gay farang romantic, sweet, good behaviors etc.?

b. someone told me that when farang give love or commitment to lover. they will stick that that. is that true? or just same as another straight people.

c. if i want to date with farang, what should i learn about? i can speak English and little bit Espanol

d. if farang in my dream decided to be my soulmate, what should i do? will it have a problem?

e. how did i know that farang i date with serious about relationship? do you have any idea?

thank you forward for all comment.

[PeaceBlondie]

Thanks, Espada (neat name for a swordsman),

You know what a generalization is, of course. Well, farang come in different sizes, flavors, preferences, nationalities, etc. Each human being is a little different. Sometimes all two gay farang men have in common is being gay, being farang, and being men.

But we've spent/wasted enough time trying to figure out what Thai gay men are like, we may as well do the same for farang gay men.

Here's one that might not be too debatable: most of us don't speak Thai well. And I'm one of the few gay farang here who speak Spanish. Some gay farang don't speak English very well.

[dukkha]

Hola........ole.....

[Espada]

Hola........ole.....

thx for greeting. Dukkha...i saw your profile on dragoncastle.

[Espada]

Thanks, Espada (neat name for a swordsman),

You know what a generalization is, of course. Well, farang come in different sizes, flavors, preferences, nationalities, etc. Each human being is a little different. Sometimes all two gay farang men have in common is being gay, being farang, and being men.

But we've spent/wasted enough time trying to figure out what Thai gay men are like, we may as well do the same for farang gay men.

Here's one that might not be too debatable: most of us don't speak Thai well. And I'm one of the few gay farang here who speak Spanish. Some gay farang don't speak English very well.

I got 3 people comments about my "Espada" thank you. It's not dull sword, sharp and neat!!!

i understand about thai gay men. it's easy for me to know who's gay and who's not gay. my gaydar work perfect! i understand about western's culture. it's not open like thailand. may be because of this that why it hard to tell which farang is gay. if they don't go to babylon or Soi2 and Soi4 or anther gay places.

i wish i can find farang who love thailand, like thai people and wanna have thai man for soulmate

am i dreaming?

[HB2010]

i think most members here are farang. i would like to learn about farang nature. especially gay farang. i'm thai... never been to europ or america or australia. what's character of gay farang? let's open mind talk.

i would like to know that

a. gay farang romantic, sweet, good behaviors etc.?

b. someone told me that when farang give love or commitment to lover. they will stick that that. is that true? or just same as another straight people.

c. if i want to date with farang, what should i learn about? i can speak English and little bit Espanol

d. if farang in my dream decided to be my soulmate, what should i do? will it have a problem?

e. how did i know that farang i date with serious about relationship? do you have any idea?

thank you forward for all comment.

hi espada!

i'll try to answer one or more of your questions. you were kind enough to comment on my posting, so let me try to give you my opinions. mind you, their mine. take it for what its worth.

i'm a farang. i'm really not that comfortable with that word, but i guess i have no choice since i'll be moving to bangkok next year. i'm from columbus, ohio usa. very midwestern state, very conservative and happens to be a very gay city. i have lots of gay friends. some are happy being single, some are in happy and healthy relationships and a couple are just content with sucking **** and nothing more. they have no desire to be in a relationship. all my friends are different in their lifestyles, but their my friends and i'm blessed to have them. i have to be honest, i think alot of gay "westerners" are not monogamous in their relationships. they don't take gay relationships serious. i know several that keep waiting for that "perfect" guy to come into their life. one has waited 20 years. they want that "perfect" body, "perfect" ****, "perfect" personality. that "perfect" person doesn't exist! so sad to spend your life looking for that "perfect" guy.

columbus, ohio doesn't have many asians. i happen to be attracted to asians. i find them very sexy physically, but more important, i love the cultural and spiritual aspect of asians. i feel you have a strong commitment to a relationship and a strong desire to be with your lover through good times and bad. your not "hung up" on outward appearances. thats cool.

back to your first question. are farang's sweet, romantic. of course. especially the first few months of dating, but who isn't. don't we all want to show our bf the good things about us at the beginning? i told my bf, if we can make it the first year together, we'll be together forever. well, at least from my viewpoint. heck, my last relationship lasted 15 years...in "straight years", that's 50 years! every week for 15 years i gave him flowers. every week. but, i'm a romantic and thats MY personality.

i hope you can date a farang. try it, but just be yourself. don't ever change whats inside of you. afterall, its ALL about the heart and soul.

i hope i made some sense. i wish you all my best! :-)

[DUMPSTER]

i understand about western's culture. it's not open like thailand.

bless

may be because of this that why it hard to tell which farang is gay.

I'm not really sure what you mean by, not open like Thailand. I am a farang and I think I can spot about 90% of gay farang but sometimes it is quite difficult to spot a gay Thai because the nature of Thai guys is softer than guys in the west, even straight guys are soft / gentle. I would also say more straights are willing to have sex with gay guys here. Though I think this is changing as more girls are becoming more willing to having sex outside of marriage whereas in the past they kept their legs shut, so to speak, which has led to many frustrated guys. So you not being able to spot gay farang has more to do with culture and not being around enough westerners.

i wish i can find farang who love thailand, like thai people and wanna have thai man for soulmate

am i dreaming?

Not dreaming but it will be difficult to find as there are not as many farang looking for Thais as their are Thai guys looking for farang. If you lived in the west you would have a much higher chance of finding a guy.

It is also interesting you say, your soulmate has to love Thailand and Thai People. You obviously have an impression that many farang don't. Personally, I don't like many Thais, they corrupt and are bad but the same could be said of many farang. I like nice PEOPLE . I don't like many parts of Thailand but the same could be said of London.

Better you look first for a nice guy then the rest will fall into place. Oh and don't carry a list , just be open minded while looking.

[boybrat]

from an asian guy who's been around and yes. well travelled too!. me penny's worth:

firstly it will be unfair to dump all men with caucasiod features into one category: farang.

there are americans, brits, northern euros, eastern euros, spanish guys, latino guys, etc etc.

its just like to say that all asian guys are the same cos we are not!

there are thais, malays, indonesians, pinoys, japanese, chinese, indians, etc.

therefore, its true that not all farang men speak english.

i think most members here are farang. i would like to learn about farang nature. especially gay farang. i'm thai... never been to europ or america or australia. what's character of gay farang? let's open mind talk.

i would like to know that

a. gay farang romantic, sweet, good behaviors etc.?

b. someone told me that when farang give love or commitment to lover. they will stick that that. is that true? or just same as another straight people.

c. if i want to date with farang, what should i learn about? i can speak English and little bit Espanol

d. if farang in my dream decided to be my soulmate, what should i do? will it have a problem?

e. how did i know that farang i date with serious about relationship? do you have any idea?

thank you forward for all comment.

my answers to yr questions:

a.some guys are and some guys are not!

b some will and some wont

c.theres nothing to learn. be yourself. if he doesnt like you for what you are, drop him and move on. tho its always good to learn a new language. but do note that not all farang men speak english or habla espanyol.

d: give it a try. if it dosnt work out, move on. wil not be a problem. will only be a problem if u want it to be a problem.

e. you can always ASK him, a question like" so what now?" but dont say "i love you" after just one month!!!!!!! ive dated thai guys and they said that after 2 dates. scary. and give the guy space to breathe. do not ever call the guy like 20 times a day and send him lovey dovey sms messages like 10000 times in a week. its not attractive and youll only look desperate.

the bottomline: farang men are just human beings. they are just men. and like all men, they have primal instincts. they are no different from guys of other cultures. there are nice white men and there are nasty ones. just like they are nice asian guys and there are nasty asian guys.

look beyond the skin colour. never ever restrict yrself to just farang men. cos there wil be a lot of chances you might lose by not dating men of other races.

and never ever look for a relationship. it will never happen. chill. when it happens. it happens. enjoy single life while u can.

u have a stereotypical view of white guys as a whole. but you need to them as individuals, not just a cluster. just like some white guys think all asian guys are sweet, soft, demure and, soft-spoken . and u know that many asian guys are not!

at the end of the day, farang men are no different from you and i. theres nothing special cos we are all just men.

-exeunt-

Edited August 22, 2006 by boybrat

[TopChinese]

I agree with Boybrat.. being another asian who have travelled a bit and met ... *ahem*.. a few farangs in my life so far.

Take each farang that you mean to be unique and special in his own rights. Yes, after a while, you will see that similar attributes for some farangs from the same country ... eg sexy Italians, well hung Germans, arrogant Americans etc etc. Just remember that for every arrogant American that treat you bad, there will be probably 10 other sexy, well hung Americans out there who are humble and not arrogant..

Most of all, please respect yourself. One common mistake I see in Thailand is that a lot of Thai people don't treasure their culture and value in deference to westerners. They are not better than you because they are more popular or have some money. If they treat you like s**t, then they are usually no better than s**t.

[MarkBKK]

the bottomline: farang men (people) are just human beings. they are just men (people). and like all men (people), they have primal instincts. they are no different from guys (people) of other cultures. there are nice white men (people) and there are nasty ones. just like they are nice asian guys (people) and there are nasty asian guys (people).

look beyond the skin colour. never ever restrict yrself to just farang men (people). cos there wil be a lot of chances you might lose by not dating men (people) of other races.

and never ever look for a relationship. it will never happen. chill. when it happens. it happens. enjoy single life while u can.

u have a stereotypical view of white guys (people) as a whole. but you need to them as individuals, not just a cluster. just like some white guys (people) think all asian guys (people) are sweet, soft, demure and, soft-spoken . and u know that many asian guys (people) are not!

at the end of the day, farang men (people) are no different from you and i. theres nothing special cos we are all just men (people).

-exeunt-

A perfect worldview.

[farang prince]

i think most members here are farang. i would like to learn about farang nature. especially gay farang. i'm thai... never been to europ or america or australia. what's character of gay farang? let's open mind talk.

i would like to know that

a. gay farang romantic, sweet, good behaviors etc.?

b. someone told me that when farang give love or commitment to lover. they will stick that that. is that true? or just same as another straight people.

c. if i want to date with farang, what should i learn about? i can speak English and little bit Espanol

d. if farang in my dream decided to be my soulmate, what should i do? will it have a problem?

e. how did i know that farang i date with serious about relationship? do you have any idea?

thank you forward for all comment.

Espada, you pose an interesting set of questions. PB is right about the risk of generalizing to the extreme about gay farangs. As with people in any social group, gay farangs represent the good, the bad and the ugly. But let's say that you and I were sitting somewhere drinking a beer and you asked me these questions. Here is how I would respond:

a) "Are gay farang romantic, sweet, good behaviors, etc.?" The answer is that it depends on the farang. Some are very romantic and sweet and very generous. Others are manipulative and shallow. You will only learn the truth by being with a farang and observing his behavior over a sufficient period of time so you can draw your own conclusion. Don't forget, most people, regardless of race, will succumb to the Peacock syndrome so they will all be romantic and sweet and on their best behavior at first. See how this evolves over a period of time and try to keep your emotions in check until you see the true nature of your farang lover.

"Someone told me that when farang give love or commitment to lover they will stick to that. Is that true?" Again the answer is it depends on the farang. But a general rule of thumb that I have observed is that younger farangs seem to enjoy playing the field a little more than older farangs, who often come to Thailand looking for a younger partner for a more permanent relationship. For most of my gay friends in the USA, the average length of their "long-term relationships" was a little over two years. Yet I have known some couples that are still together after 30 years.

c) "If I want to date with farang, what should I learn about? I can speak English and a little bit of Espanol." The fact that you can speak English is important and will greatly enhance your ability to find a gay farang. A lot of farangs, even those who have been here for a long time, speak very little Thai. Having a Thai who speaks English and some Spanish is a major plus for you. Since you might be taking the lead in creating a relationship with a farang, you might want to read up on current events from Europe, the USA and Australia. This will give you discussion points that you can use to initiate conversations with farangs to whom you are attracted.

d) "If farang in my dream decided to be my soulmate, what should I do? Will it have a problem?"

As in any relationship, it is best to take your time and make sure that the two of you are really compatible (in other words, give the relationship enough time so that the lust wears off) to warrant an investment of time and emotions. But most farangs that I know would be delighted to meet a sincere, thoughtful, responsible Thai who is seeking a long term relationship. Cross-cultural relationships are never easy. It takes a lot of work from both partners to overcome cultural and language differences. As you can see from the postings on this Thai Visa board, farangs are often perplexed by the thoughts and deeds of their Thai boyfriends. And I'm sure that the Thai boyfriends are just as perplexed sometimes by the thoughts and deeds of their farang boyfriends. It is just part of the cultural differences. In my case, my partner is a ladyboy. So the differences were even more extreme when we were first together. We have successfully overcome them. And I'm sure you could too.

e) "How do I know if the farang I date is serious about the relationship? Do you have any ideas?"

The only way that you will know if your farang is serious about the relationship is to get to know your farang bf very well. Again, I am suggesting patience. There are lots of danger signals that you should watch for along the way...such as the farang not wanting to include you in some of his nocturnal activities. Or being secretive about his past or present. Great relationships should be transparent. In other words, no little secrets and no little lies. And that goes both ways.

I wish you well in your search for a farang boyfriend. I think someone will be very lucky to have you in their life.

[boybrat]

I agree with Boybrat.. being another asian who have travelled a bit and met ... *ahem*.. a few farangs in my life so far.

Take each farang that you mean to be unique and special in his own rights. Yes, after a while, you will see that similar attributes for some farangs from the same country ... eg sexy Italians, well hung Germans, arrogant Americans etc etc. Just remember that for every arrogant American that treat you bad, there will be probably 10 other sexy, well hung Americans out there who are humble and not arrogant..

Most of all, please respect yourself. One common mistake I see in Thailand is that a lot of Thai people don't treasure their culture and value in deference to westerners. They are not better than you because they are more popular or have some money. If they treat you like s**t, then they are usually no better than s**t.

i totally agree with topchinese. many asian guys think that white guys are brahmins of society and worship the ground they walk on. just see them as peers, ie EQUALS. remember even though they are white, the blood they bleed is still red . and no just cos they are white, doesnt mean they are richer...this a common misconception.

ive known and have done charity work for por white people before.distributed food to the homeless at a shelter in nyc one xmas a few years ago...quite a touching experience. will never forget that.

we all all part of the human race, regardless of colour.why restrict yrself to the amount of melanin you have???

white men are just HUMAN BEINGS. and they should be treated with the same amount of respect as you treat another human being, regardless of his race or culture.

be colour blind. farang men are just......MEN. trust me. there nothing very special about them.

*hugs*

Edited August 22, 2006 by boybrat

[Espada]

thank you everyone for comments. hmm...i will be patient. thank again for helping me understand "Farang's Nature"

[noy9000]

i think most members here are farang. i would like to learn about farang nature. especially gay farang. i'm thai... never been to europ or america or australia. what's character of gay farang? let's open mind talk.

i would like to know that

a. gay farang romantic, sweet, good behaviors etc.?

Urban legend, Thai lovers are better (good manners etc). I never believe that farangs will behave better than a Thai. There may be some humble Farangs - Humble is still different from their nature. Farangs & Thais are ultimately different - Thais are simpler to understand. Personally I feel most of the Thais I met - have predictable patterns.

b. someone told me that when farang give love or commitment to lover. they will stick that that. is that true? or just same as another straight people.

Face it. Most man think with their Androgen... Most of the farangs in Thailand because they are old & inattractive in their home country. It's no secret that most farangs are in Thailand for cheap sex.

c. if i want to date with farang, what should i learn about? i can speak English and little bit Espanol

If you want to date a farang. You must learn how to appreciate some other things, from what I know - Thai love to have fun. Farangs love to have occasional silence (something that Thai find it difficult to understand)

d. if farang in my dream decided to be my soulmate, what should i do? will it have a problem? It's common knowledge that any farangs who are in Thailand will expect not to make any friends. I really doubt the soulmate you have in mind, is the soulmate those farangs understand.

e. how did i know that farang i date with serious about relationship? do you have any idea?You'll never know. Almost all the farangs are in Thailand for the wrong reasons... go figure.

thank you forward for all comment.

If you don't want to end up getting hurt. Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!)

Edited August 28, 2006 by noy9000

[farang prince]

If you don't want to end up getting hurt. Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!)

Well, this thread quickly turned into a chance for people to bash farangs. We criticize some of our posters for using stereotypes when describing Thais. Well, on this thread, I have read every stereotype about farangs. Shame on all of you for regurgitating the same old swill about both farangs and Thais. Noy, I'm an American. You don't even know me. And yet you say "Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!). Why? Because you were dumped by an American? Get over it. We had a guy who used to post here who was always warning about how deceptive and untrustworthy Thais were. Most of us rejected his arguments also.

Edited August 28, 2006 by farang prince

[boybrat]

i think most members here are farang. i would like to learn about farang nature. especially gay farang. i'm thai... never been to europ or america or australia. what's character of gay farang? let's open mind talk.

i would like to know that

a. gay farang romantic, sweet, good behaviors etc.?

Urban legend, Thai lovers are better (good manners etc). I never believe that farangs will behave better than a Thai. There may be some humble Farangs - Humble is still different from their nature. Farangs & Thais are ultimately different - Thais are simpler to understand. Personally I feel most of the Thais I met - have predictable patterns.

b. someone told me that when farang give love or commitment to lover. they will stick that that. is that true? or just same as another straight people.

Face it. Most man think with their Androgen... Most of the farangs in Thailand because they are old & inattractive in their home country. It's no secret that most farangs are in Thailand for cheap sex.

c. if i want to date with farang, what should i learn about? i can speak English and little bit Espanol

If you want to date a farang. You must learn how to appreciate some other things, from what I know - Thai love to have fun. Farangs love to have occasional silence (something that Thai find it difficult to understand)

d. if farang in my dream decided to be my soulmate, what should i do? will it have a problem? It's common knowledge that any farangs who are in Thailand will expect not to make any friends. I really doubt the soulmate you have in mind, is the soulmate those farangs understand.

e. how did i know that farang i date with serious about relationship? do you have any idea?You'll never know. Almost all the farangs are in Thailand for the wrong reasons... go figure.

thank you forward for all comment.

If you don't want to end up getting hurt. Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!)

I was shaking my head in despair after reading these posts. ive dated/seen/slept with a fair bit of men (safe sex all the time tho) and i find that a whole bunch off bullcrap.

of course, stereotypes DO exist. we have a fair bit of farang men in bkk who only have a grade 2 education "teaching" english. we DO have older farang men in pattaya looking for love. we do have americans who are <deleted>, we do have thai boys who leech on their richer farang boyfriends of money and as a form of meal ticket.but.......there's quite a fair bit who do not.

i dated a thai guy once and he was a total prick from hel_l. dated an american and HE was a prick too. but ive dated some thais and americans who are not. taadaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

tip: to avoid getting hurt, i would suggest not falling in love so easily. never ever let yr defences down ALL the way. practice discretion.

-exeunt-

Edited August 28, 2006 by boybrat

[jdinasia]

If you don't want to end up getting hurt. Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!)

Well, this thread quickly turned into a chance for people to bash farangs. We criticize some of our posters for using stereotypes when describing Thais. Well, on this thread, I have read every stereotype about farangs. Shame on all of you for regurgitating the same old swill about both farangs and Thais. Noy, I'm an American. You don't even know me. And yet you say "Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!). Why? Because you were dumped by an American? Get over it. We had a guy who used to post here who was always warning about how deceptive and untrustworthy Thais were. Most of us rejected his arguments also.

Kinda makes you wonder who noy is doesn't it? Farang? Indian?... Not Thai ....

[Espada]

i'm back

Oh no... what's wrong with my post? easy guys...let's compromise ok!

we have a very few gay population in this world...so let's be friend.

/hugs everybody.

[noy9000]

If you don't want to end up getting hurt. Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!)

Well, this thread quickly turned into a chance for people to bash farangs. We criticize some of our posters for using stereotypes when describing Thais. Well, on this thread, I have read every stereotype about farangs. Shame on all of you for regurgitating the same old swill about both farangs and Thais. Noy, I'm an American. You don't even know me. And yet you say "Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!). Why? Because you were dumped by an American? Get over it. We had a guy who used to post here who was always warning about how deceptive and untrustworthy Thais were. Most of us rejected his arguments also.

Understanding the farang nature (Of course) - remember that this is Thailand we're talking about, is it us? It is. In general American's 're all too flaky, or erratic, or something. They're going to be too complicated for the usual Thailanders, no that I mind though. I'd never dated an American - I'll never date any americans that I know of (I know plenty of Americans) - but I will consider if you're from London, or, Europe (Except Germany). I know a handful of foreigners in my job area & the less trust-worthy folks are Americans. I was writing as a general message to the original poster, IMHO, dating Americans normally mean a higher chance of getting hurt.

For general understanding of my personal observations, note the highlighted reds in the above quote.. A typical farang (male) will seek to dominate *which kinda elucidate the original poster's friend's experience* and argue (I don't mean that farang prince is arguing, but, the temporary feelings that 1 will have - pulling the hairs out). A typical thai guy will seek to compromise (I don't think many will dis-agree), very, few Thais will argue that.

How many farangs have been taking advantage of Thai's nice manners? Hands up, anybody? I think Thailanders should just date Thailanders or Japanese man (If you will, are normally more sentimental than Farangs). I know there're nice folks here, let's just say that the group of farangs who - don't - visit the internet - are a better representative of the whole 'market'.

Better yet - date me. I'm a 23 year old Doctor from Singapore. (LOL)

Singaporeans aren't good folks to date too. Singaporeans are more like Americans - unreliable in the relationships department. I do believe that age can be a good indication, or, someone who has reside in Thailand for a reasonable amount of time (like 3 years) - who got tired from boy's chase. They'll hope to settle down.

Edited August 28, 2006 by noy9000

[boybrat]

If you don't want to end up getting hurt. Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!)

Well, this thread quickly turned into a chance for people to bash farangs. We criticize some of our posters for using stereotypes when describing Thais. Well, on this thread, I have read every stereotype about farangs. Shame on all of you for regurgitating the same old swill about both farangs and Thais. Noy, I'm an American. You don't even know me. And yet you say "Don't ever date an American (don't think of it too!). Why? Because you were dumped by an American? Get over it. We had a guy who used to post here who was always warning about how deceptive and untrustworthy Thais were. Most of us rejected his arguments also.

Understanding the farang nature (Of course) - remember that this is Thailand we're talking about, is it us? It is. In general American's 're all too flaky, or erratic, or something. They're going to be too complicated for the usual Thailanders, no that I mind though. I'd never dated an American - I'll never date any americans that I know of (I know plenty of Americans) - but I will consider if you're from London, or, Europe (Except Germany). I know a handful of foreigners in my job area & the less trust-worthy folks are Americans. I was writing as a general message to the original poster, IMHO, dating Americans normally mean a higher chance of getting hurt.

For general understanding of my personal observations, note the highlighted reds in the above quote.. A typical farang (male) will seek to dominate *which kinda elucidate the original poster's friend's experience* and argue (I don't mean that farang prince is arguing, but, the temporary feelings that 1 will have - pulling the hairs out). A typical thai guy will seek to compromise (I don't think many will dis-agree), very, few Thais will argue that.

How many farangs have been taking advantage of Thai's nice manners? Hands up, anybody? I think Thailanders should just date Thailanders or Japanese man (If you will, are normally more sentimental than Farangs). I know there're nice folks here, let's just say that the group of farangs who - don't - visit the internet - are a better representative of the whole 'market'.

Better yet - date me. I'm a 23 year old Doctor from Singapore. (LOL)

Singaporeans aren't good folks to date too. Singaporeans are more like Americans - unreliable in the relationships department. I do believe that age can be a good indication, or, someone who has reside in Thailand for a reasonable amount of time (like 3 years) - who got tired from boy's chase. They'll hope to settle down.

and yes, honey, you are young. we'll forgive u for that.

btw: people from thailand are called thais, and ive met nice thais and nice americans....

and nice sgboys too.

tho ive met some who are pricks and i will give em hel_l for that.

Edited August 28, 2006 by boybrat

[PeaceBlondie]

C'mon, how many Americans do you have to know before you can accurately say "All gay American men"? There may be 6 million of them; surely you haven't dated even one percent, or 60,000 of them?

We come in all shapes, sizes, ages, religions, accents, colors. You've got American gay men who just want the first real hug of their life. You've got some that were beaten up often for being sissies. Some who come to Thailand don't have a fifth as much money that others have. Some couldn't sing a Broadway musical, but are good at heavy metal, country music, Gaelic jigs, rugby. The only things we have in common is citizenship, gender, and preference for men.

We have a saying about how you can't tell it's summertime yet, just because you see one swallow (a certain bird): "One swallow doesn't make a summer." Pun intended. Even 222 gay American men don't make 1% of 1%. And many of us are indistinquishable from the straights, outside the bedroom or the sauna.

[jdinasia]

I don't have a problem with people not wanting to date Americans ... or farang ... or whatever! The stereotypes are stupid ! but whatever your reason for making a PERSONAL choice are quite OK with me!

I've met 100's of gay Singaporeans and out of ALL of them there was only one that I thought was reasonable dating material. (more than one was shaggable though!).

So personally I'd pass on dating Sg'ers as a rule ... No big deal! <note I am in no way gonna list the reasons >

[Guest endure]

If you're interested in the differences between the way that Thais and farang look at the world I'd recommend you get hold of a copy of "Thailand Fever" by Chris Pirazzi and Vitida Vasant. It's written around a farang man/Thai woman relationship but applies equally to gay folks. It's useful even if you're not in a relationship. It's written in English and Thai on facing pages so after you've finished it you can give it to the BF to read. You'll both understand each other quite a lot better.

[noy9000]

Who wants to date Singaporeans - when you're in Thailand? The general guideline is to keep 5 steps away from Americans when it comes to relationship. I don't know - it's an honest oriental's point of view. Thailanders (is a common used word, mind you) fell into relationship much easier than farangs, and, most Americans are into games.

I've a much easier time than any farangs to find dates - I can't complain that much as any farangs here. Of course if a Thai knows foreigners that much as Singaporeans or Hong Kongers, they will skip Americans too. I don't hate Americans, I really don't. They simply end up breaking more hearts.

[jdinasia]

Noy .... you are probably right in general about people of Asian <E Asian or SE Asian> descent do prefer to date other asians from the same racial group. Probably by a factor of 4-5 ! But then again you are competing with VAST numbers of people The asian guys that prefer farang (a much smaller percentage) are competing with each other for a MUCH smaller group of available men!

As for your anti-American prejudice; frankly it is bullcrap! But you are welcome to keep it!!

You never did say what racial sub-group you came from .. why is that?

Oh, and for your dating pool statistics in Thailand .... unless you speak Thai fairly well, I would assume that you actually have fewer REAL prospects than some of the farang in here!

Edited August 28, 2006 by jdinasia

[farang prince]

Who wants to date Singaporeans - when you're in Thailand? The general guideline is to keep 5 steps away from Americans when it comes to relationship. I don't know - it's an honest oriental's point of view. Thailanders (is a common used word, mind you) fell into relationship much easier than farangs, and, most Americans are into games.

I've a much easier time than any farangs to find dates - I can't complain that much as any farangs here. Of course if a Thai knows foreigners that much as Singaporeans or Hong Kongers, they will skip Americans too. I don't hate Americans, I really don't. They simply end up breaking more hearts.

Thank you Noy. You have proved that bigotry comes in all shapes, colors and sizes and from all countries.

[noy9000]

Thank you Noy. You have proved that bigotry comes in all shapes, colors and sizes and from all countries.

I'm not positive, but, pretty sure. Bigotry is worst in America. Want examples?

The man on top ask which racial sub-group I'm from, than farang prince says I'm a racist (somehow). Irony.

Really - don't compare me with the rest. Being at 23, earning usd8,000 per month in Bangkok, cruising without much problems at at California WOW gym. It's going to be unfair to most of the farangs anyway. I'm chinese. I don't speak Thai that well, but, wanna bet on my prospect in relationship than the farangs? Okay, you used 'some of' - so - you probably meant I've more prospect than the majority. Unless you are counting money in your relationships, I really don't think so why I'm losing out in the relationship department.

But than again, I'm doing well in the financial department.

Edited August 28, 2006 by noy9000

[Espada]

Who wants to date Singaporeans - when you're in Thailand? The general guideline is to keep 5 steps away from Americans when it comes to relationship. I don't know - it's an honest oriental's point of view. Thailanders (is a common used word, mind you) fell into relationship much easier than farangs, and, most Americans are into games.

I've a much easier time than any farangs to find dates - I can't complain that much as any farangs here. Of course if a Thai knows foreigners that much as Singaporeans or Hong Kongers, they will skip Americans too. I don't hate Americans, I really don't. They simply end up breaking more hearts.

Thank you Noy. You have proved that bigotry comes in all shapes, colors and sizes and from all countries.

All rigth everyone... Peace! i do like farang both american or not american (i have a background about american ...so i do like them in many ways. )

let's talk creative...

[jdinasia]

Thank you Noy. You have proved that bigotry comes in all shapes, colors and sizes and from all countries.

I'm not positive, but, pretty sure. Bigotry is worst in America. Want examples?

The man on top ask which racial sub-group I'm from, than farang prince says I'm a racist (somehow). Irony.

I'm chinese. I don't speak Thai that well, but, wanna bet on my prospect in relationship than the farangs? Okay, you used 'some of' - so - it's far I can say I've more prospect than the majority. Unless you are counting money in your relationships, I really don't think so.

But than again, I'm doing well in the financial department.

Hmmm Noy .... So you are pretty much limited to Thais that speak Chinese. <I am limited to Thais that speak Thai. or English I guess>

No there was NO IRONY in my question at all since this whole thread is about race. Farang being a term to describe white westerners. There is CERTAINLY no irony involved when you decide to not only bring race but nationality in it Farang Prince did NOT call you a racist ... he called you a bigot They are different things! But ... would I bet on your prospects for a relationship? No! If I did it would be without knowing you as more than a bigot that claims to be a 23 y/o doctor! Not enough info! Also not enough info based upon not knowing who you are attracted to! That being said you are likely at some severe disadvantages being ethnically Chinese from Singapore. Lots of family expectations and race/gender issues there in family issues! <That is solely a generalization since I don't know your family > As for your prospects versus mine .... well if you are single now ... I'll take that bet! and would have been able to beat you for the ast few years

Anyways ... you really can drop the anti-American rant ... it is tired !

[Trouble]

Espada, You asked some very valid questions which we might all ask when we enter into cross cultural dating. We do come from different backgrounds. That could be said of an American and a German. So probably best not to just be put in terms of just Thai/Farang. While some of the responses to your questions contained valid points it seems like a good number of the posters decided to start the bashing of various nationalities and ethnicities. That is unfortunate in that it does not help you to understand the "farang" mentality. It is probably not possible to come to any kind of consensus among the members here to your questions. I think what I have found in visiting Thailand for the last 30 years (and many other countries) is that as much as we may have differences, I really tend to believe we are more similar than different. We all have human needs. After the physiological and safety needs that we must have for survival we humans generally have a need for love. Meeting that need is indeed difficult. It is common to all of us in one way or another. For the farang, as for the Thai, Chinese or any other ethnicity we can get confused. It is often difficult to distinguish between sexual intimacy and love. Men of all ethnicities are often able to define these things differently to suit their needs at the moment. This is were the problem often arises in "relationships". If both partners are not in tune with each other on this issue it often leads to problems. For what it is worth I have as often seen a Thai "cheating" on a Farang as a Farang "cheating" on a Thai. It happens both ways. So is the Thai any more likely to have difficulty with a farang in this regard as another Thai. I think not. Is a Farang any more likely to have difficulty with a Thai as another Farang. Also probably not. I have heard endless stories of Thais cheating on Thai boyfriends or girl friends. What are all the songs of heart break about? The thing that is most important in any relationship is communication. Surely this is more difficult when the language at times can be a barrier to good communication, but I think that most often a Thai and Farang who have managed to come together can communicate their espectations.

Now as to the comments made about and the bashing done to the different Farang nationalities or ethnicities, I think it is completely erroneous. I have seen any number of Farangs acting in a completely arrogant manner to Thais and to each other. I happen to be American. Does that automatically make me arrogant? I think not. I treat others the way I expect to be treated. The statements made regarding any nationality are generalizations and nothing more. I think further you will find that the Farang's have one notion of the different nationalities and the Thais another. They are not always in agreement in their generalizations.

As to Noy's particular generalizations that is just his personal experiences. I would advise that at 23 he probably should get just a few more years under his belt before he starts making such generalizations. As to whether he would or would not date Americans, I think he is cutting him self off (if he likes Farangs) as that person he passes up someday might be the best thing that ever happened to him. A case in point is that I have often heard remarks that the Singapore guys are somewhat aloof. Well, that is not my experience. If I had listened to that I would not have ever met some of the great guys in Singapore over the years. To pass up someone based on generalizations and without giving that person a chance to show themselves is shortsighted at best.

Finally, each individual is just that, an individual. We all come in different sizes and shapes, nationalities, and ethnicities. It is just plain foolish to rule out anyone because of anyone of these things. You need to judge the individual by YOUR interaction with that person. There are no general rules about farangs as there are no general rules about Thais, Chinese, Malay's or anyone else. There are good and bad in each group and believe me no man is perfect. You will have to take the good and bad in each of us. So if you find your dream man just go with it, do some dating, get to know the guy. Let your instinct lead you. There are no guarantees about relationships or life. Good luck.