"Son, there's two kinds of men in this world: Ones who go to jail, and ones who don't. And you're gonna be one of those who don't." That's what my daddy told me back when I was 15 and starting to hang out with older guys who had cars. We lived in L.A., where the police LOVE to stop young people (of any race back then, in the early 60s, not sure about now) out in the streets. Dad was basically telling me: don't mess with the heat, be polite, do what they say, don't be a dummy.

So, fast forward to now, where I just witnessed a scene in Chiang Mai. Bunch of motorcycles and scooters parked in the street, cop comes along, tells people to move their bikes. Word spreads quickly amongst the Thais, and within five minutes, they're all gone except one. Five minutes later a farang with a bunch of tattoos on his legs comes up carrying a bag of take-out food. Cop is still around, so he tells farang to move the motorcycle. Farang starts waving his arms, talking heatedly to the cop. Cop tells him again, faring waves his hands more, starts yelling, maybe something like "I park here every day!" Cop stares at him, farang keeps talking, cop pulls out his ticket notebook, farang REALLY goes full-on ape at this, so cop straps a chain on farang's front wheel and writes him a ticket. Farang tones it down a little bit now, but cop still gives farang the ticket. Farang grabs tuk-tuk and leaves.

Thai onlookers (and I, too) had a right chuckle at this. Guy didn't go to jail, of course, but he really should have kept his mouth shut out there in public with a Thai cop in Thailand. What's more, cop took farang's pic, had him pose for it in front of his motorcycle, and very soon I think a LOT of other beat cops are gonna know what he looks like. Poor farang, this so easily could have been avoided for you, son.

(Oh yeah, I've never been to jail...)

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