Trigger: Emotions

[singa-traz]

After two years of paying more attention to my weight and overall health, I have noticed how vulnerable/sensitive I can be to my emotions/feelings and my re-actions to cope with them.

My over-eating tendency is often, if not always, linked to some form of stress (work, family, ...), and in those moments reaching to the fridge is really an instinct reaction, to neutralise thoses emotions/feelings. Sometime, I can rush for a sugar drink like a drug addict.

In those instant, feeling full is, in some way, like "sedating" those emotions.

Making sure the fridge is filled up with the right stuff at that time, is then really important.

Another thing I have noticed is when my weight come down below 85-86kg (which still qualifies me in the over-weight category), I then start to feel lighter and a little bit uncomfortable.

As the fat slowly melt away, it's like a protective layer is being removed from me, which then trigger my over-eating habits.

I have probably never been more fit in my life than today and my mind has some kind of difficulty to adjust to the new me.

Hope to break again the 85kg barrier soon, and slowly approach the 80kg line.

[h90]

Well, yes if there is nothing sweet in the fridge, or the biggest sin you find there is an 100% orange juice or a zero fat fruit yoghurt (sugar) than it is easier.

When I hit the 64, 63, sub 63 kg area, with usually not eating anything during the day, I felt a lot lighter (mentally) and....don't know how to describe it, faster, snappy...more alert, fast mood changes (I don't mean that negative). Kind of the protective layer is removed and I expire things (good or bad) more direct. I kind of liked it, but it needs a time to get used to it.

I remember after loosing 20 kg, I rushed up the stairs to the skytrain because I was late. I fly up like a hummingbird and on top of it, I wasn't soaked in sweat......Great experience not carrying that layer....

[singa-traz]

I can relate to what you say about feeling "lighter (mentally)", with more focus and clarity in your thoughts.

It's as if "this protective layer" had been dragging me down for so many years.

I strongly believe that not matter what diet change people make or how much physical exercices they do, if there is no action to address the root cause of what trigger them to use food as confort, to calm or difuse emotions, weight will remain for them a long term problem.

They might be able to win a battle or two, but sooner or later, they will lose the war.

Focusing on the food intake or the calories burned is only a short term solution, which may explain the low success rate of all those diets plan, in the long term.

After initiallly losing weight, somehow people unconsciously sabotage their own effort, to come back to a more confortable, but heavier, situation.

[h90]

I see what you mean....

like eating to dampen the feelings about unsolved problems, frustrations. Similar to drink to forget your problems.

Like you have problems but with full stomach you don't feel the problems anymore.

The lite version of drugs.

Without that fixed every diet is doomed from the beginning.

Easy solution: I have none.....

[gerryBScot]

As a significant addict, and I'm now working on weight having addressed drugs, gambling and alcohol, I understand these things are all fixes for what some call the hole in the soul, that rather entrenched and burdensome feeling of self-loathing and destructiveness. I think acknowledging the unease in the first place is a huge step forward and with this you can practice recognising it and devising strategies to cope with the immediate situation. I find having something to do really helps, in particular getting out of the house and being with other people. I really need little encouragement to isolate and develop my negatives, it is in fact my default mode, the 'illness' wants us isolated living inside our heads feeling negative and neurotic so that we have to reach for fixes, be it chocolate or crack or whatever. Remember whatever you feel, that in time, this too shall pass; it ain't a permanent state. So learn to sit with the difficult times and be sure they will pass. As with most things it gets easier with practice. Good luck and keep strong!

[singa-traz]

Thanks Gerry for your input.

[mommysboy]

A very good posting. Anything we do that has an addictive edge will in part be a defence against feeling emotions we would rather not feel. With food, those emotions are very likely emptiness, vulnerability, and to assuage loneliness and pain in general; enough to unsettle even the most stoic then. I listened to BBC Medical Matters this week, and they reported on some NHS initiatives in UK that involve forming self help groups for the badly overweight and obese. As well as talk therapy, cognitive training appeared to help.

My own strategy in dealing with pain, which after all afflicts us all in some way or another, is to just try to ride out the worse then as soon as I can start to make connections along the lines that OP does. For me change, real change, must be done slowly. Otherwise I may suffer a backlash effect. And I need to understand the problem and start to be able to hold the feelings before I can feel confident of action.

Generally, negative injunctions don't work imho.

I must say I am speaking about dealing with my own travails over the years, and these are not related to weight issues at all, but I feel there will be similarities.

[singa-traz]

Food for thought ...