How Did You Learn About

[Ijustwannateach]

Ok, we need to have a little restraint here. I'm not exactly looking for coming-out stories, and I'm not exactly looking for "exciting tales of first sex." I'm just looking for the general way that you figured out how to have gay sex, or what to do during gay sex.

For the straights reading this, you probably remember there was at least some vague attempt to educate you about sex in school- or your parents mumbled something at one point or another- or your classmates told you some distorted version of the truth- and then you got to have all that teenage experimentation.

But a lot of us gay folks don't have a lot of the same resources when we're younger. Most institutions and parents don't want to admit we exist, and if they have to it's certainly someone *else*'s kids, not theirs. And a lot of the times the ignorance is so profound that even those of us who are gay don't know we are or understand what it means until we get to a more developed part of our countries. Nevertheless, we still figure out how to have sex one way or another. I'd like to know (especially with the Thais involved) how that goes on for different people.

For me, I was clueless until I got to college. I had a lot of very exciting and frustrating experiences in high school, but none of us (me and any guys I fooled around with) had any idea what to do, really. It took the first guy I dated (when I realised I was dating him) in college both to help me come out and to give me my first experience of the gay version of making love.

"Steven"

[ProThaiExpat]

Tough question. My I reply in two parts. Societal pressure directed we to straight sex for many years so when it came time for men, I just made love to them the same way I made love to women.

Mechanically, fooling around as an adolescent taught me what to put in where.

Hope this answers the question. I voted other.

Edited September 6, 2006 by ProThaiExpat

[farang prince]

Tough question. My I reply in two parts. Societal pressure directed we to straight sex for many years so when it came time for men, I just made love to them the same way I made love to women.

Mechanically, fooling around as an adolescent taught me what to put in where.

Hope this answers the question. I voted other.

My first sexual experience was with a guy my age (13). Funny thing is, it was the last time I was with a guy until I was 45. I had a lot of catching up to do!!!!

[Guest endure]

I did it in a storm drain with Norman. When we'd finished we were both amazed that it had happened at all

[farang prince]

I did it in a storm drain with Norman. When we'd finished we were both amazed that it had happened at all

Do you call your friend "Stormin' Norman"?

[boybrat]

how i learnt about gay sex?

hmmm.

vanilla sex: with trial and error and lots of practice.

not so vanilla: i was well trained.

[Espada]

i'm about 20 years old and have ... with my soul-mate. i'm not gay( but i do like men ...hehehe)

[TopChinese]

Hmm.. nice poll. Not quite sure how it all worked out really. Could be:

- at 11yo, found some nice stuff in my daddy's drawers. Kept focusing on the hairy white males that are putting their strange (but exciting) dongers into some dubious looking black female holes. Hmmm.

- at 12yo, paid my classmate (same age), US$0.75 to see his donger. Very disappointing. Definitely not Mr 7 Inch.

- at 13yo, got picked up by a 38yo German hunk at the bookstore. He pinched my butt in the bookstore; I poked his butt in his bedroom. He also imparted to me the pleasures of Mozart, lederhosen and waking up to a cooked breakfast with sausage in the morning.

[Papa_Lazarou]

Round the lunch table at prep school.

All the ten yr olds talking about 'rubber johnnies' and 'bumming'

Sincerely doubt that any of these upper-middle class brats put their money where their mouth was.

I always feigned diffidence.

[boybrat]

list of firsts:

had my first sexual ecounter at 15. it was just oral. nothing to scream about. met him at the public pool. CLASSY.

first had it up the butt at 16. he was my first partner. he's asian and was 10 years older than i. cant believe it used to hurt. till now, he never did know that he popped my cherry.

had my first farang at 18. he was, yes. somebody else's boyfriend. surprise! was quite disappointed that his wingwang wasnt bigger than i expected. hes now UNhappily married to a thai guy in amsterdam.

had my first farang partner at 20 but he dumped me for a slutty discobunny gym boy. the breakup prompted me to go for a huge overhaul. tossed my rugby jerseys into the bin!

had my first black guy at 21. he was hot and true to common notion. he was huge. mmpphhh!

NEARLY got married to an english bloke in 2004. i was 27. got the matching rings and everything (cartier, white gold..sighhhhh. we still have the rings!) but it crashed and burnt. my first VERY serious relationship. we are still friends tho and im the only bloke his mum ever approved of. heh!

ahhhhh....

Edited September 7, 2006 by boybrat

[popshirt]

I voted "other".

First time was with my best two friends. We were 13 yrs. old.

One had experience with an older lad.

We then met almost every afternoon after school for sex together until we graduated high school!

[Espada]

list of firsts:

had my first sexual ecounter at 15. it was just oral. nothing to scream about. met him at the public pool. CLASSY.

first had it up the butt at 16. he was my first partner. he's asian and was 10 years older than i. cant believe it used to hurt. till now, he never did know that he popped my cherry.

had my first farang at 18. he was, yes. somebody else's boyfriend. surprise! was quite disappointed that his wingwang wasnt bigger than i expected. hes now UNhappily married to a thai guy in amsterdam.

had my first farang partner at 20 but he dumped me for a slutty discobunny gym boy. the breakup prompted me to go for a huge overhaul. tossed my rugby jerseys into the bin!

had my first black guy at 21. he was hot and true to common notion. he was huge. mmpphhh!

NEARLY got married to an english bloke in 2004. i was 27. got the matching rings and everything (cartier, white gold..sighhhhh. we still have the rings!) but it crashed and burnt. my first VERY serious relationship. we are still friends tho and im the only bloke his mum ever approved of. heh!

ahhhhh....

Ouhhh Chok Chone na ja boybrat

[PeaceBlondie]

Not counting school-aged gropings in bedrooms without...uhhh, any penetration:

I was 19, he was twice that. I knew it felt much better than it was supposed to.

Next, a friend who wanted me as a lover explained the lifestyle, but I chose a woman instead. Twenty years later, she came up missing in the equipment department, so the next two were non-White giants who made up for what she had lacked. Wow!

There was absolutely no information about homosexuality before age 19. None.

[-jr-]

My mistake. I clicked on view result before I voted and now I can't vote anymore.

How come I'm the only bookworm? I've known that I'm attracted to men since I was in highschool. But about sex, I learned it from a magazine. There was a weekly magazine my maid bought back then, it was kinda magazine about unusual things such as believe-it-or-not or world records on weird stuffs. In that magazine, there were two columns that printed reader's sex stories, one is for str8 stories and another is for gay/lesbian. That's how I learned about gay sex.

However, the first time I had a gay sex was when I was 20! Very late start but somehow I think I did catch up ok in the last 6 years. Before that, I almost had gay sex a couple of times but I freaked out. First time was in a book store when I was about 13-14 (I was not in adult section if you wonder. what's wrong with those people?). I freaked out and walked away to security guard. The other times were mostly in pub/bar with my friends, was mostly approached when I was in the toilet (away from the horde) but I was too shy back then. So nothing's happened until I was 20.

He was my first boyfriend afterward. We broke up about 8 months later because we both wanted to see other people. ...[parts deleted]One thing leads to another... . Not so easy but quite memorable.

Am I having a nostalgia? No!

(greatly edited by PB, to keep it educational more than explicit)

Edited September 8, 2006 by PeaceBlondie

[Guest endure]

My mistake. I clicked on view result before I voted and now I can't vote anymore.

How come I'm the only bookworm? I've known that I'm attracted to men since I was in highschool. But about sex, I learned it from a magazine. There was a weekly magazine my maid bought back then, it was kinda magazine about unusual things such as believe-it-or-not or world records on weird stuffs. In that magazine, there were two columns that printed reader's sex stories, one is for str8 stories and another is for gay/lesbian. That's how I learned about gay sex.

Are you talking about 'Uncle Go'?

[Papa_Lazarou]

Is it okay if I start a separate topic about my Mum's bowel theory? Or discuss it in my glory hole topic.

Edited September 8, 2006 by Papa_Lazarou

[PeaceBlondie]

Thanks for asking, Papa L. The answer is no, we don't want to hear about your mum's theory about bowel movements. See, this is a public forum, which even children can read, and 95% of the readers are probably straight. Even some gay men don't talk about BM's and anal sex AMONG OURSELVES.

As the opening post said, let's use some restraint here, and let's try to keep it to how we received our sex education, not "my first time at sex." I've modified my own prior post, and more of another post as well.

[-jr-]

My mistake. I clicked on view result before I voted and now I can't vote anymore.

How come I'm the only bookworm? I've known that I'm attracted to men since I was in highschool. But about sex, I learned it from a magazine. There was a weekly magazine my maid bought back then, it was kinda magazine about unusual things such as believe-it-or-not or world records on weird stuffs. In that magazine, there were two columns that printed reader's sex stories, one is for str8 stories and another is for gay/lesbian. That's how I learned about gay sex.

Are you talking about 'Uncle Go'?

Yes, it's that column! I think it's in a magazine called 'Plak'. Does it still exist?

[endure]

My mistake. I clicked on view result before I voted and now I can't vote anymore.

How come I'm the only bookworm? I've known that I'm attracted to men since I was in highschool. But about sex, I learned it from a magazine. There was a weekly magazine my maid bought back then, it was kinda magazine about unusual things such as believe-it-or-not or world records on weird stuffs. In that magazine, there were two columns that printed reader's sex stories, one is for str8 stories and another is for gay/lesbian. That's how I learned about gay sex.

Are you talking about 'Uncle Go'?

Yes, it's that column! I think it's in a magazine called 'Plak'. Does it still exist?

I don't think so. An Australian guy, Peter Jackson, wrote a book based around some of the letters:

"Dear Uncle Go: Male Homosexuality in Thailand" by Peter Jackson.

[popshirt]

Too bad it is out of print. I finally found a used copy here in the US and paid $49 for it. Was it worth it? Yes!

[PeaceBlondie]

I've got an old copy of "Uncle Go" here, and the material in it seems dated, maybe even outdated. It describes gay conditions in Thailand when - in the 1970's or 1980's? It reminds me of the movie, "Last Song" - tragic, closeted, or confined to the absurd caricature of flamboyant katoeys, ready to end it all. I found the episodes in "The Dove Coos 2" to be far more realistic and varied.

Uncle Go was a godsend or a blessing to that generation of Thai gay men trying to come out of the closet; he was their sex educator, indeed.

[dukkha]

I was seduced by two brothers who lived a few houses away from myself...they took me home, undressed me and had their way with me, I was around eleven years of age, both of these men are now grandfathers...obviously they couldnt resist the pretty boy down the road, and I did not resist for one moment, however the struggle with being gay went on for many more decades but I can still remember their smell, their bodies and their lust...the gay gene was there, I just did not know how to deal with it...so the ten years of confusion and guilt are times I prefer not to dwell on..I think for many of us, sex games are our earliest memories....they did not hurt me but left me with some scars which have healed..there was more hurt in later years when I grappled with being gay and desirable..what a relief to it was to become older and desirable...Australia in those years was indeed homophobic and little has changed in my opinion, one only had to read of the homosexual murders both in Australia, the USA and other countries to know that we will never be accepted, no matter how many Mardi Gras there may be each year... Dukkha

[endure]

Australia in those years was indeed homophobic

Not if you were in the Caulfield Sauna

[endure]

Reading dukkha's post, I was really lucky in that I realised I was gay when I was about 12 and never, ever felt a moment's guilt or stuggle accepting the fact. The only struggle I ever had was getting enough...

[dukkha]

Caulfield Sauna, my oh my...did it a few times...and what a lucky man in that you did not have a struggle with your sexuality. dont think all of us can say that. Dukkha

[dukkha]

btw Endure, hardly imagine a gay sauna to be a homophobic arena at any point in time....think you missed the point....dukkha

[Buki]

I think I was 13 or 14, when a straight boy "experimented" on me. Nothing serious though, it was all gropping, that lead to french kissing. The following year in High School, more straight boys experimented which lead to one thing to another.

The first ever gay sex thatI had was when I was 19, which was very late, in asian perspective.

Edited September 17, 2006 by Buki

[-jr-]

Are you talking about 'Uncle Go'?

Yes, it's that column! I think it's in a magazine called 'Plak'. Does it still exist?

I don't think so. An Australian guy, Peter Jackson, wrote a book based around some of the letters:

"Dear Uncle Go: Male Homosexuality in Thailand" by Peter Jackson.

I've never read that book from Peter Jackson. I forgot the name of the column but the column owner is call "Go Paknam" (โก๋ ปากน้ำ) and he called himself "Uncle Go". The magazine is either "Plak" (แปลก) or "Mahadsajan" (มหัศจรรย์). And I think it's one of the first column in public magazines that published gay stories. Most of them are letters explaining their experience with questions at the end and "Uncle Go" answered it. Most of the questions was asking for advice on what they should do next, sometimes asking about possibilities of STD infections and etc. It's erotic (in experience part) and educational (in Q&A part) in some way.

I think I was 13 or 14, when a straight boy "experimented" on me. Nothing serious though, it was all gropping, that lead to french kissing. The following year in High School, more straight boys experimented which lead to one thing to another.

The first ever gay sex thatI had was when I was 19, which was very late, in asian perspective.

You're not alone, I had it when I was 20 and 'after' graduated. While most people considered college time the prime time for sex-periment, mine? mostly spent on trips with friends, playing network games, help parents in shop and some part-time jobs.

[kunjet]

No one taught me anything, and, unfortunately, that led me to bad, bad sex.

Porn is not a good guide, especially in terms of expectations.

[toptuan]

No one taught me anything, and, unfortunately, that led me to bad, bad sex.

Porn is not a good guide, especially in terms of expectations.

These are the best words of wisdom from experience on this whole thread. Well said, Kunjet.

I was always attracted to my friends' dads since I was seven or eight years old. Didn't know why. When I was 12, a much-more-developed 13 year old friend came over to sleep at my house. In a playful wrestling move, while in bed, he put me in a neck lock with his strong hairy arms. At that point, I knew something was profoundly different about me because I sensed a new "sensation" down below. Also, at that point, I started asking questions and reading everything I could get my hands on.

Edited November 22, 2006 by toptuan