A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

~ Milton Berle

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than

electronic banking. It's called marriage."

~ James Holt McGavran

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must

be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

~ David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let

him keep her.

~ Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just

can't face each other, but still they stay together.

~ Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you

get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

~ Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

~ Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,

"What does a woman want?

~ Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

~ Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go

to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft

music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

~ Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

~ Sam Kinison

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the

second one didn't."

~ Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong,

admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

~ Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget

it once... - Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

~ Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

~ Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he

received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can

have mine." - Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky,

mine's still alive." - Anonymous

good post

My fav - "My wife's an angel!"

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you

get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

~ Socrates

Who was Socrates married to, again? I think I met her.

"Yeah, my ex was a philosopher. Lazy sod."