What Makes the Expat Lifestyle So Addictive?

[Jonathan Fairfield]

What Makes the Expat Lifestyle So Addictive?

By RASHMI J. DALAI

Long before glitz and glamour came to accompany corporate packages, Ernest Hemingway likened expats to addicts: “You’ve lost touch with the soil. You get precious. Fake European standards have ruined you.

You drink yourself to death. You become obsessed with sex. You spend all your time talking, not working. You are an expatriate, see? You hang around cafes.”

The accusations have stuck, with a few updates through the ages. According to critics, today’s expats are adventure-junkies who live like royalty outside their home countries.

They’re hooked on domestic helpers and padded salaries. A heady cocktail of money, status and adrenaline is their drug.

But is this really the nature of the expat “addiction”? Are expats a shallow group roaming the globe with fat wallets in search of the next challenge high? Or does the lifestyle offer people something more attractive: a quality of life that satisfies the desire to feel like a self-determined individual?

It is impossible to make a sweeping statement about the thousands of expats around the world. Some go abroad to escape poor economies, while others want international experience on their resumes. Some are backpacker-like explorers of culture, and there are the opportunists after the corporate package and domestic staff.

However, across all walks of expat life, many foreigners are united in their hesitation to “go back,” a description that often means more than just going home and implies returning to a previous state.

It isn’t about the money, says Natalia Timmerman Blotskaya, a Belarussian expat of more than 20 years who has lived in the Middle East, Europe and Asia on both local and corporate packages. She says the moment people become expats, they enter a whole new state of mind.

“It’s like becoming a Switzerland, neutral – politically and emotionally – and experiencing a culture without having to be involved with the internal affairs.”

Read more: http://blogs.wsj.com/expat/2015/06/21/what-makes-the-expat-lifestyle-so-addictive/

[Bernard Flint]

ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, Where do i start, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh forget it, too busy drinking and fornicating

[sipi]

I have a distant friend. Born in New Zealand to Hungarian parents. Now living in Australia. His aging mother addressed him as a man without a home. Neither Hungarian, Kiwi nor Aussie. She is right. Frankly he just doesn't fit in.

I want my wife to adhere to her Thai heritage no matter where she lives.

I can only guess that expats should keep some identity with their homeland. Otherwise they might become 'homeless'.

[NoshowJones]

The biggest majority of men probably from most countries are addicted to alcohol. they meet other expats and cannot go a day without alcohol.

They have all day to themselves most times with good pensions, and a wife who only married them for their money. There are exceptions to this.

The expats I have known over here for years who are still alive like a drink, there is nothing wrong with that, and I have never seen any of them drunk, and

I'm proud to have them as mates, but I keep hearing from this one and that one about someone being drunk.

Without alcohol the expat lifestyle would not be addictive, and as I said, most of them need to be near beer all the time.

[PattayaPhom]

You only have to look at the news and see what is happening, there are over 50 Million Expats living in most European countries that don't bother trying to fit in at all and predominately don't work either....neyer a truer word said than by Hemingway

[FracturedRabbit]

The biggest majority of men probably from most countries are addicted to alcohol. they meet other expats and cannot go a day without alcohol.

They have all day to themselves most times with good pensions, and a wife who only married them for their money. There are exceptions to this.

The expats I have known over here for years who are still alive like a drink, there is nothing wrong with that, and I have never seen any of them drunk, and

I'm proud to have them as mates, but I keep hearing from this one and that one about someone being drunk.

Without alcohol the expat lifestyle would not be addictive, and as I said, most of them need to be near beer all the time.

What a sad point of view. Enjoying being an expat has absolutely nothing to do with alcohol.

The quote at the start of the thread is a good start" “It’s like becoming a Switzerland, neutral – politically and emotionally – and experiencing a culture without having to be involved with the internal affairs.”"

I have lived outside my home country since 1978 and would hate to go back and live where "I belong". Living inside another culture is endlessly fascinating. You can never fully understand what is going on, and there are daily opportunities for amusement and bemusement. You gain a more balanced and rounded world view; and hopefully a great deal more tolerance.

[lovelomsak]

The best part about being an expat is you donot need a single thing other than money. You can live out of a suitcase,eat in restaurants,never cook,clean or launder, have women as whim and be mobile go where you want when you want. Thailand today,Phillipines tommorrow. Do what ever you want just keep the wallet full. A gypsy with no home. It is total freedom.

[gandalf12]

The description couldnt be further from the truth. In many respects the easy life would be to stay in your home country as the expat life is far from easy. It may be for the sudo-expats that companies send to othr countries but the expats who work contract have a hard time of it despite what people think. Yes there is a big uplift in salary but most of the places are less than desirable and I am sure you wouldnt take the family to them for a holiday.

We enjoy the money of course and we enjoy the travel. That is my opinion but I am sure there are others on here that will totally disagree with me

[NoshowJones]

The biggest majority of men probably from most countries are addicted to alcohol. they meet other expats and cannot go a day without alcohol.

They have all day to themselves most times with good pensions, and a wife who only married them for their money. There are exceptions to this.

The expats I have known over here for years who are still alive like a drink, there is nothing wrong with that, and I have never seen any of them drunk, and

I'm proud to have them as mates, but I keep hearing from this one and that one about someone being drunk.

Without alcohol the expat lifestyle would not be addictive, and as I said, most of them need to be near beer all the time.

What a sad point of view. Enjoying being an expat has absolutely nothing to do with alcohol.

The quote at the start of the thread is a good start" “It’s like becoming a Switzerland, neutral – politically and emotionally – and experiencing a culture without having to be involved with the internal affairs.”"

I have lived outside my home country since 1978 and would hate to go back and live where "I belong". Living inside another culture is endlessly fascinating. You can never fully understand what is going on, and there are daily opportunities for amusement and bemusement. You gain a more balanced and rounded world view; and hopefully a great deal more tolerance.

I am referring to the expats who have retired here, they rely on alcohol to get through their day. I emphasis again, not them all, but most of them.

It is not a sad point of view. Just imagine what would happen if somehow alcohol gets banned in Thailand, and you can't get it. What percentage of

expats would be making arrangements to return to their home country? IMO, I would say about 80% of them.

I am not against responsible drinkers, I am with them regularly. I just hate drunks, and can find no excuse for it. As an ex professional musician, I have been amongst

alcohol all my life, and all my family were/are drinkers. Drink responsibly and I have no problem with it.

[MockingJay]

24 years ago I came here, because Thailand rocked! It was Wild West, Hades, Eden, and Avalon, all in one! It was like drug back then and - yes - addictive.

14 years ago I was still here, because - even though Thailand had lost a lot of its previous luster - it still was much better and gave me more freedom than other countries. Wild West was gone, Hades remained, Eden became a kind of "nice garden", Avalon was gone, no mysteries anymore, just hard cash business.

4 years ago I was still here, because it was still more convenient and cheaper to live here than in my home country. The realization that I am a second class citizen here forever fully settled in, but could not shock me anymore as I would be a second class citizen in my own home country, where immigrants get everything including university degrees stuck up their butts free of charge while the hard working country people have to eat S__t... Hades (in form of a "parental guidance strictly advised" label kinda hell) was still there, Eden turned into a home for the elderly, and hard cash ruled. Idiots in red and/or yellow shirts ruined what was left.

Today, I still am here, just because of better weather and a few remaining liberties I can enjoy here, which my home country would not grant me, and because I believe that there will be war in Europe soon. So I am still here because I think Thailand is safer in the future years of turmoil to come, but I am certainly not here anymore because I am addicted to it or because I believe it is the coolest place to live in. Addictive it might still be for single guys, but for a family man it definitely is not...

Edited June 27, 2015 by MockingJay

[nithisa78]

People retire they move to warmer climate or this or that.

I don't read a whole lot into it. People retire move to another country, etc etc.

You can drink and screw almost anywhere. If we're called to Thailand, so be it.

Give peace a chance.

"If you would guide others into the kingdom, you must yourselves walk in the clear light of living truth."

[NoshowJones]

The biggest majority of men probably from most countries are addicted to alcohol. they meet other expats and cannot go a day without alcohol.

They have all day to themselves most times with good pensions, and a wife who only married them for their money. There are exceptions to this.

The expats I have known over here for years who are still alive like a drink, there is nothing wrong with that, and I have never seen any of them drunk, and

I'm proud to have them as mates, but I keep hearing from this one and that one about someone being drunk.

Without alcohol the expat lifestyle would not be addictive, and as I said, most of them need to be near beer all the time.

Thats me matey..............

Not that I have seen it's not.

[sanuk711]

“It’s like becoming a Switzerland, neutral – politically and emotionally----OP

Yup, that just about sums up the average Thai Visa expats posts ....neutral – both politically and emotionally..........................

[phuketrichard]

The more challenges many expats overcome, the more they enjoy the adrenaline of feeling themselves grow. After awhile, this becomes the new normal and makes life “back home” seem boring in comparison.

Which is why so many expats – regardless of financial or social standing – resist giving up the lifestyle. Abroad, they feel free, independent, adventurous, curious, valued for their skills and self-aware. “As an expat, I have the ability to live in a foreign country and just be left alone to do,” says Mr. Middagh.

this fits me 100%

been out of the states except for 1 year since 1978.

I can be who i want to be hence one reason why i seldom refer to myself as American but say i am from Greenland,

nobody knows anything about Greenland LOL

[bazza40]

I can live in Australia in modest circumstances, and slowly stagnate. It's bloody cold in Melbourne in winter, and emotionally not much warmer.

OR I can live in Thailand as a rich man, with a constant sense of adventure.

I do tend to avoid the negative, grumpy expats whose only pleasure in life seems to be bagging Thailand, or criticising other expats who look as if they might be enjoying themselves too much. Losers.

[Just1Voice]

I'm an expat (I think), and I doubt if I fit in any "profile". I'm 66 and have been here for 7 years, married to a woman only 10 years younger than myself. I have a 32 year old adopted Thai son that I love as if he were my own, and who has told me, more than once, I'm the best father he could ever have. I'm not rich, by any means, living on 100% VA disability, and 50% SS disability, but I manage our money well, and we live quite nicely. What the average drinker (not the alcoholics) consume on a Friday night out would probably be more than I drink in 6 months. My biggest joy in Thailand was climbing on my CBR 250 and hitting the roads for 3-4-5 days at a time here in the north and north east. Yeah, it got stopped by a stroke 20 months back, but I figure that by December I'll be straddling a new CB300f and doing it again. I pretty much keep to myself, but what friends I do have a real friends, and I count myself lucky to have them. I avoid the VFW and things of that nature like the plague, as I have no desire to sit around and rehash a distorted history where I barely escaped danger 100 times, and was the hero 100 more. If people like me, great. If they don't, so be it. Do I fit a "profile"? Yeah....MINE. And that's the only one that counts in my book.

[micmichd]

I'm a homeless orphan, a passionate globetrotter and a musician.

I need the sun, fresh air and friendly people. Nice women, and families. That's what I'm addicted to.

I've worked very much in my life, maybe I'm still a workaholic.

People in Asia gave me so much, regardless whether I was poor or rich. And now I get enough money to give something back.

People in my ex-home town don't't understand me very well. They just feel I'm different, some say I'm crazy. I don't care. In a way, I've always been a stranger in Western societies. And now I feel like I came home. A good feeling.

[blazes]

The more challenges many expats overcome, the more they enjoy the adrenaline of feeling themselves grow. After awhile, this becomes the new normal and makes life “back home” seem boring in comparison.

Which is why so many expats – regardless of financial or social standing – resist giving up the lifestyle. Abroad, they feel free, independent, adventurous, curious, valued for their skills and self-aware. “As an expat, I have the ability to live in a foreign country and just be left alone to do,” says Mr. Middagh.

this fits me 100%

been out of the states except for 1 year since 1978.

I can be who i want to be hence one reason why i seldom refer to myself as American but say i am from Greenland,

nobody knows anything about Greenland LOL

The one thing I know about Greenland is: it ain't green. (Danish sense of humour perhaps?)

The one thing that makes Thailand addictive for me is guaranteed warm weather and millions of scantily-clad women of all ages. A country that invites you to STARE.

Alcohol is really not a problem, since all beer sold in Thailand at 'reasonable" prices is basically re-cycled urine. Wine (red) is impossible with spicy food. Leaving spirits, which you need to be a lottery winner to afford.

[optad]

Expat., (expatriate) n, A generally used term for British people who like to complain about where they have come from and where they are now with no particular blending.

[villagefarang]

To be happy back home you have to buy into what the system is selling. Independent thought is not encouraged and you are pressured to conform to the values of those around you. In the beginning people back home ask when you are coming back to the “real world” but eventually see that you have changed and aren’t coming back, reluctantly accepting that you have lost your way.

After learning that where you are is just as real as where you were, it becomes very hard to go back to the confines of a system you no longer believe in. Knowledge and experience are dangerous things for those trying to maintain control of a society.

[Laza 45]

The biggest majority of men probably from most countries are addicted to alcohol. they meet other expats and cannot go a day without alcohol.

They have all day to themselves most times with good pensions, and a wife who only married them for their money. There are exceptions to this.

The expats I have known over here for years who are still alive like a drink, there is nothing wrong with that, and I have never seen any of them drunk, and

I'm proud to have them as mates, but I keep hearing from this one and that one about someone being drunk.

Without alcohol the expat lifestyle would not be addictive, and as I said, most of them need to be near beer all the time.

What a sad point of view. Enjoying being an expat has absolutely nothing to do with alcohol.

The quote at the start of the thread is a good start" “It’s like becoming a Switzerland, neutral – politically and emotionally – and experiencing a culture without having to be involved with the internal affairs.”"

I have lived outside my home country since 1978 and would hate to go back and live where "I belong". Living inside another culture is endlessly fascinating. You can never fully understand what is going on, and there are daily opportunities for amusement and bemusement. You gain a more balanced and rounded world view; and hopefully a great deal more tolerance.

I totally agree.. I was born in Canada..lived in England, New Zealand and Australia (for many years).. and have now been living in Thailand for going on 8 years.. I have no desire to go back to live in a Western culture.. I have lived in some beautiful places and have been privileged to have had many wonderful experiences.. but there is no going back.. I enjoy living in a different culture and learning to see the world through new eyes.. for an insight into my life here have a look at my photos on Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/laza45/

[freebyrd]

Not booze or women, after 20 years in the army and 3 marriages, quite simply I wanted something that wasn't run of the mill. I wanted to get away from bad weather, 9 to 5, mortgage hanging around my neck, slogging my guts out until 65 in a country where PC is in your face at every turn, I'm English by the way. I've lived and/or worked in Hong Kong, Thailand, China, Vietnam, Philippines and now Cambodia.

In PI, one of my young staff asked me what my ambition was. I told her that I had always wanted my life to be different, I've achieved that and will see out my days in Cambodia.

All that said, one man's meat......

[pendingo]

Alcohol isn't the reason I became an expat.

In fact I don't drink much at all.

These are my main reasons for being an expat:

1. I can live here in Thailand comfortably and in comfort.

2. I cannot stand the cold clammy weather and lack of sunshine which in the UK is about 9 months of the year.

3. Not being ripped off by Council Tax, VAT and utility bills which vastly reduce my meagre pension (even if I may be entitled to benefits) together with the cost of food and clothing.

4. Thailand has its challenges admittedly but they are to be embraced and not shied away from as to me this is what being an expat is all about.

Here are 10 reasons not to be an expat http://www.german-way.com/ten-reasons-why-you-should-not-become-an-expat/

[DogNo1]

I really enjoyed living in southern California but I just couldn't find a full-time job working as an ESL teacher. I went to a TESOL job fair, got offers from around the world, and found that the best was from a Japanese university so I moved to Tokyo and taught EFL for the next 14 years. I retired two years ago with a pension that allows me to spend half of the year in Thailand during the cold weather in Tokyo. Another attractive offer came from King Fahd University. I'm gland that I passed that one up. So far as expat status - many people follow the money and become expats for the purposes of financial security.

[EnglishJohn]

I can buy alcohol much more cheaply in the UK than I can in Thailand.

The main reason I like it in Thailand is that I feel free from the constant rules of nanny-state UK. I rely on my own common sense to survive instead of having a million and one 'Health and Safety' rules which are quite absurd, but everyone adheres to them 100% because their insurance is not valid if they don't - and with the ridiculous suing culture we received from the USA, they dare not risk it.

And I would say the Thai public are much happier and laid back than those in the UK (well, outside of Bangkok anyway). And if you keep yourself to yourself, everybody pretty much leaves you alone. In the UK the government never leave you alone : they are constantly trying to get money out of you so they can spend it on single parent families who have just had a 3rd child to a 3rd father and now qualify for a free house and car.

[coulson]

Despite the alcohol/ sex reference, life as an expat is absolutely more exciting than a home existence where 2 weeks a year is the only opportunity to see or do things that an ex-pat does almost every other weekend. There is certainly an increased adrenaline associated with this being on the move, switching homes, getting set up for new work contracts and getting out there and starting over with new faces.

Going 'back' is not always easy, it's more of a chore, I usually bring my close family out to see as me its a more exciting experience when everyone is in holiday mode. I can never spend more than 2 weeks at 'home' as the pace is too slow and it's like going over old rope after the initial reunions.

Will never return 'home' for good, home is where you make it.

[weegee]

I never drank until I became an expat..and met expats

[Saan]

'Long before glitz and glamour came to accompany corporate packages, Ernest Hemingway likened expats to addicts: “You’ve lost touch with the soil. You get precious. Fake European standards have ruined you.'

Much as I admire many things about Hemingway I don't think he is the ideal man to quote when referring to the expat's life. Hemingway, who spent much of his life abroad, went home and committed suicide by shooting himself in the head. He lost touch alright but most expats don't.

And the idea that has been espoused here that most expats are just here for the drink is wrong. There are certainly some but the last majority live a fairly quiet and contented life.

I swung from the chandeliers back home in Australia many times but not here. I like a drink but I am fairly modest in my intake. So are most of my friends. I didn't come to Thailand to get drunk. I just enjoy the place and am happy to be here.

[Anthony5]

The biggest majority of men probably from most countries are addicted to alcohol. they meet other expats and cannot go a day without alcohol.

They have all day to themselves most times with good pensions, and a wife who only married them for their money. There are exceptions to this.

The expats I have known over here for years who are still alive like a drink, there is nothing wrong with that, and I have never seen any of them drunk, and

I'm proud to have them as mates, but I keep hearing from this one and that one about someone being drunk.

Without alcohol the expat lifestyle would not be addictive, and as I said, most of them need to be near beer all the time.

You mean like, you and your friends are superior to all that other expat scum?

I have no doubts that I will recognize you in the unlikely event that we would be at the same place.

[Anthony5]

24 years ago I came here, because Thailand rocked! It was Wild West, Hades, Eden, and Avalon, all in one! It was like drug back then and - yes - addictive.

14 years ago I was still here, because - even though Thailand had lost a lot of its previous luster - it still was much better and gave me more freedom than other countries. Wild West was gone, Hades remained, Eden became a kind of "nice garden", Avalon was gone, no mysteries anymore, just hard cash business.

4 years ago I was still here, because it was still more convenient and cheaper to live here than in my home country. The realization that I am a second class citizen here forever fully settled in, but could not shock me anymore as I would be a second class citizen in my own home country, where immigrants get everything including university degrees stuck up their butts free of charge while the hard working country people have to eat S__t... Hades (in form of a "parental guidance strictly advised" label kinda hell) was still there, Eden turned into a home for the elderly, and hard cash ruled. Idiots in red and/or yellow shirts ruined what was left.

Today, I still am here, just because of better weather and a few remaining liberties I can enjoy here, which my home country would not grant me, and because I believe that there will be war in Europe soon. So I am still here because I think Thailand is safer in the future years of turmoil to come, but I am certainly not here anymore because I am addicted to it or because I believe it is the coolest place to live in. Addictive it might still be for single guys, but for a family man it definitely is not...

You must be my unknown brother, because you spoke with my tongue and mind, only difference is that I came 2 years after you, everything else is exactly my feeling and experience as well.