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Posted

Nice story OP including the responses….first of all, I wouldn't have met the family just because the girl asked me to.

Trick with these girls is don't listen to them or take them too seriously…learn to say No…nicely.

They will then be more mindful of <deleted>$#%ing with you.

Also, the time her old man said you buy gold, I would have got up and said, Hong Naam Thi Nai? And then walked off and never come back.

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Posted

Half of the original OP comment is what happened to me, and they are pretty standard for Thailand.

Dowry doesn't seem that bad and the family are not asking too much. And its possible she's a virgin, I know my wife only had sex with one BF before me and I believe her, she was 25 when we met.

Whats the worst that can happen, it's not that much money but you have to ask yourself - are you in love and want to marry this girl? Maybe say to the father that you need to set a date for next year as it feels too soon to get married straight away. Just make him understand you need time as it is not normal for a foreigner to marry so quickly. Thats what I did, the father in law wasnt happy but he accepted it.

Posted

i think it is realy sad that Thai parents think like this, 4 times now i have said to girls going back to isaan, i will go with you for the adventure,NOT GIRLFRIENDS ok, everyone said "oh no i cannot do as the family/village see me bring a farang back and that is a sign i have brought back a boyfriend to marry,, what a pathetic situation, as i would have made some contribution to the farm, as part of the adventure, still thats thia thinking for ya.

I don't think the OP is a troll. I will attest that I ran into something similar. The difference was that I'm older and not Under The EtherTM so easily.I stiff armed every attempt to manipulate me and ditched the situation.

And no, Thai women don't have a culture of wanting him to sleep around. I doubt her commitment very much. I'd run.

Cheers.

Posted

Number one. There is zero possibility she is a virgin and never had a boyfriend before, unless she is 13 years old. Number two, what is the hurry? Who is in control here? Sounds like she is. You come here and start making mistakes from day one. Take your time. Meet the family after 6 months, only if things are going great, and you want to. Find out who she is. Always have sex before marriage. What is she, a nun? Discussing sin sod after knowing her a few weeks? You broke the Cardinal rules. You disclosed your foreign assets. And you let the family take control of the proceedings. Man up. Admit your enormous errors, and move on. Start over. Do what Bond would do. Discretion is the better part of valor. Some things are better left unsaid, at least until you are together for a year or two, and you know who she and her family are. Take your time. Time is your ally. Most gals do not want to allow you that time. That is their issue, not yours. Always push back. Never allow them to dominate, control or take over. Never.

Posted

Number one. There is zero possibility she is a virgin and never had a boyfriend before, unless she is 13 years old. Number two, what is the hurry? Who is in control here? Sounds like she is. You come here and start making mistakes from day one. Take your time. Meet the family after 6 months, only if things are going great, and you want to. Find out who she is. Always have sex before marriage. What is she, a nun? Discussing sin sod after knowing her a few weeks? You broke the Cardinal rules. You disclosed your foreign assets. And you let the family take control of the proceedings. Man up. Admit your enormous errors, and move on. Start over. Do what Bond would do. Discretion is the better part of valor. Some things are better left unsaid, at least until you are together for a year or two, and you know who she and her family are. Take your time. Time is your ally. Most gals do not want to allow you that time. That is their issue, not yours. Always push back. Never allow them to dominate, control or take over. Never.

And the chance that she is a virgin and using a dating webpage is even less......

And the Sin Sod makes everything clear. You don't buy here on the market....500.000, no 100.000, OK 300.000. Lets meet at 200.000 OK deal....

What is that?

I don't know anyone who actually paid Sin Sod. There is some Sin Sod in symbolic ways. I pay 500.000 Sin Sod, Pa gives a new car/big land as gift.....etc.

Posted

Number one. There is zero possibility she is a virgin and never had a boyfriend before, unless she is 13 years old. Number two, what is the hurry? Who is in control here? Sounds like she is. You come here and start making mistakes from day one. Take your time. Meet the family after 6 months, only if things are going great, and you want to. Find out who she is. Always have sex before marriage. What is she, a nun? Discussing sin sod after knowing her a few weeks? You broke the Cardinal rules. You disclosed your foreign assets. And you let the family take control of the proceedings. Man up. Admit your enormous errors, and move on. Start over. Do what Bond would do. Discretion is the better part of valor. Some things are better left unsaid, at least until you are together for a year or two, and you know who she and her family are. Take your time. Time is your ally. Most gals do not want to allow you that time. That is their issue, not yours. Always push back. Never allow them to dominate, control or take over. Never.

And the chance that she is a virgin and using a dating webpage is even less......

And the Sin Sod makes everything clear. You don't buy here on the market....500.000, no 100.000, OK 300.000. Lets meet at 200.000 OK deal....

What is that?

I don't know anyone who actually paid Sin Sod. There is some Sin Sod in symbolic ways. I pay 500.000 Sin Sod, Pa gives a new car/big land as gift.....etc.

I paid 400,000 in sin sod, and her parents gave us the cash back the day after the wedding. Talk about appearances. And mind you, her parents are really good, decent, hard working, honest, kindhearted people. I adore them. But, Issan is Issan. Traditions are deep rooted. What strikes me the funniest, is that besides the Islamic world, the only two countries I know of, where the man pays a woman's family a dowry, are Thailand and China. In China it has alot to do with the shortage of available brides. So, what is Thailand's excuse for this practice? Talk about turning things on their head! In most countries where the dowry is practiced, the woman's family pays the dowry. Not on planet Thailandia.

Posted

Number one. There is zero possibility she is a virgin and never had a boyfriend before, unless she is 13 years old. Number two, what is the hurry? Who is in control here? Sounds like she is. You come here and start making mistakes from day one. Take your time. Meet the family after 6 months, only if things are going great, and you want to. Find out who she is. Always have sex before marriage. What is she, a nun? Discussing sin sod after knowing her a few weeks? You broke the Cardinal rules. You disclosed your foreign assets. And you let the family take control of the proceedings. Man up. Admit your enormous errors, and move on. Start over. Do what Bond would do. Discretion is the better part of valor. Some things are better left unsaid, at least until you are together for a year or two, and you know who she and her family are. Take your time. Time is your ally. Most gals do not want to allow you that time. That is their issue, not yours. Always push back. Never allow them to dominate, control or take over. Never.

And the chance that she is a virgin and using a dating webpage is even less......

And the Sin Sod makes everything clear. You don't buy here on the market....500.000, no 100.000, OK 300.000. Lets meet at 200.000 OK deal....

What is that?

I don't know anyone who actually paid Sin Sod. There is some Sin Sod in symbolic ways. I pay 500.000 Sin Sod, Pa gives a new car/big land as gift.....etc.

I paid 400,000 in sin sod, and her parents gave us the cash back the day after the wedding. Talk about appearances. And mind you, her parents are really good, decent, hard working, honest, kindhearted people. I adore them. But, Issan is Issan. Traditions are deep rooted. What strikes me the funniest, is that besides the Islamic world, the only two countries I know of, where the man pays a woman's family a dowry, are Thailand and China. In China it has alot to do with the shortage of available brides. So, what is Thailand's excuse for this practice? Talk about turning things on their head! In most countries where the dowry is practiced, the woman's family pays the dowry. Not on planet Thailandia.

Paid 400.000 and get it back on the next day is what I mean with "not actually paid Sin Sod", just symbolic.

  • 2 months later...
Posted

So here is yet another falang-baby in his 30,ish.. unexperienced and dont know anything outside the borders of his homecountry.

Missunderstandings and misreading of people in strange culture.. Nope, you playing on a turf that is way to complecated for you my friend.

Go home, work 10 years and gain experience in life, and than come back... i think you will have better luck than..

Glegolo

Posted

So here is yet another falang-baby in his 30,ish.. unexperienced and dont know anything outside the borders of his homecountry.

Missunderstandings and misreading of people in strange culture.. Nope, you playing on a turf that is way to complecated for you my friend.

Go home, work 10 years and gain experience in life, and than come back... i think you will have better luck than..

Glegolo

Stupid comment.

Thailand existed well before the older folk came here and set there sights on the poor village girl.

Guess what, it was full of adventurous younger people..who seem to navigate the waters much better than those just jumping off a plane today.They didn't come to marry or find a g/f. They travelled or worked in Asia and knew a lot more than a 65 year getting off a plane without any Asian experience at all.

Travel brings experience not working at home for 10 years and the younger you travel the better.

Posted

So here is yet another falang-baby in his 30,ish.. unexperienced and dont know anything outside the borders of his homecountry.

Missunderstandings and misreading of people in strange culture.. Nope, you playing on a turf that is way to complecated for you my friend.

Go home, work 10 years and gain experience in life, and than come back... i think you will have better luck than..

Glegolo

Stupid comment.

Thailand existed well before the older folk came here and set there sights on the poor village girl.

Guess what, it was full of adventurous younger people..who seem to navigate the waters much better than those just jumping off a plane today.They didn't come to marry or find a g/f. They travelled or worked in Asia and knew a lot more than a 65 year getting off a plane without any Asian experience at all.

Travel brings experience not working at home for 10 years and the younger you travel the better.

I suggest you read the OP;s post again!! Living with mama until you are 30, doesn´t give you the skill-set to understand people at all....

Glegolo

Posted

So here is yet another falang-baby in his 30,ish.. unexperienced and dont know anything outside the borders of his homecountry.

Missunderstandings and misreading of people in strange culture.. Nope, you playing on a turf that is way to complecated for you my friend.

Go home, work 10 years and gain experience in life, and than come back... i think you will have better luck than..

Glegolo

Stupid comment.

Thailand existed well before the older folk came here and set there sights on the poor village girl.

Guess what, it was full of adventurous younger people..who seem to navigate the waters much better than those just jumping off a plane today.They didn't come to marry or find a g/f. They travelled or worked in Asia and knew a lot more than a 65 year getting off a plane without any Asian experience at all.

Travel brings experience not working at home for 10 years and the younger you travel the better.

I suggest you read the OP;s post again!! Living with mama until you are 30, doesn´t give you the skill-set to understand people at all....

Glegolo

Fair enough.

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