Thai Girlfriends Just Walk Out?

[meemiathai]

" But why don't they tell you, if they are finished with you? If they say "Sorry, man, it's over" that would do it. I can't stand the silence"

*****

welcome to Asia. get used to it!

I read so many times farangs complaining the difficulties of getting rid of thai gfs, complaining how they won't move out of their flats. Now I see someone say they disappear without a word and someone says get used to it, it's Asia.

WHICH EXACTLY IS IT?

By the way, I thought it was every man's dream of gfs disappearing. Not?

And why is the word BG even appearing in this thread?

[Rumourz]

Dr.Naam,

Welcome to Asia? I guess that's too broad Not every part of Asia adores farang

Why do farang likes Thai girl? come on, be honest here. (positive answer pls!)

[Naam]

Dr.Naam,

Welcome to Asia? I guess that's too broad Not every part of Asia adores farang

Why do farang likes Thai girl? come on, be honest here. (positive answer pls!)

no idea it's too long and i can't remember why i liked thai girls (very much) when i was a bachelor. after getting married 27 years ago i was told by my wife that my preference for ANY girls besides her would not be tolerated and i always wondered from which holy book she derived the right for her demand

[Rumourz]

Anyway, men walked out on women too...

[Maizefarmer]

Ì hope, you don't think, I am a ladykiller:

Girlfriend # 1:

We quarreled about money. I couldn't stand it anymore and left the room. After I came back to my apartment, she was gone. She took all her things, including toothbrush etc. so I knew, she'd never come back. End of relationship.

Girlfriend # 2:

We stayed in Lamai, Koh Samui. She looked for work, could get a job in Chaweng (about 3 km away from Lamai). She moved to Chaweng, we talked every day on the phone. She was very busy, hadn't time for me - she said. When I insisted on a meeting (just 3 km!) she hang up the phone. Didn't call, turned off the phone and finally got a new cell phone number. End of relationship.

Girlfriend # 3:

We agreed, that I pay the rent for her until I come back to BKK. It is not her apartment, it's ours we said. OK, everybody knows: For every money transfer, the bank keeps some money. What did I do? Two months ago I paid the rent for two months in advance.

Last time I talked to her on the phone, she asked me, whether I sent money to her account or not. No, I didn't, because I sent already a lot of money last month. Since then: silent modus, means: she doesn't call me, if I call her, she doesn't pick up. I called a friend of ours. The friend told me, my girlfriend is "angry" because I didn't send money this month. As far as I know Thai girls: Could be the end of relationship.

Now my question: Do Thai girls just walk out, because they don't have the balls to tell you, that they break up? Any experiences?

Have you ever gone out with a low paid girl in the West - were you made to feel you had an obligation to provide the roof over her head and send her a regular income. I suspect not.

Any Thai girl, hooker or not, who was serious about a relationship would want to discuss a relationship if it was falling part and they cared about it (just like any Western girl would want to - hooker or not). I suspect the key in 3 cases (although you only mention it in respect of 2 of the relationships - I suspect it applied to the 3rd as well) was that the subject of "money" was disspropotionly high on the agenda of important issues. Why - go back to paragraph 1.

Therein lies the problem...I suggest they didnt care much in the first place.

Tim

[poorfarang]

The problem lies in the girls you associate your self with. You need to choose better women.

Maybe this is something that I dont experience becuase I am much younger then most of you and pretty much get my pick of the litter anywhere I go. Tis nice being a young and hansum man! But enough about me

[COBBER]

Money may not be the main issue here. Thais generally are unwilling to discuss or resolve issues as you would try to do in a Western relationship, particularly if the relationship is fairly new. Instead they keep the issues to themselves untill it just becomes too much, which may explain the sudden and unexplained departures.

[kayo]

Ì hope, you don't think, I am a ladykiller:

Girlfriend # 1:

We quarreled about money. I couldn't stand it anymore and left the room. After I came back to my apartment, she was gone. She took all her things, including toothbrush etc. so I knew, she'd never come back. End of relationship.

Girlfriend # 2:

We stayed in Lamai, Koh Samui. She looked for work, could get a job in Chaweng (about 3 km away from Lamai). She moved to Chaweng, we talked every day on the phone. She was very busy, hadn't time for me - she said. When I insisted on a meeting (just 3 km!) she hang up the phone. Didn't call, turned off the phone and finally got a new cell phone number. End of relationship.

Girlfriend # 3:

We agreed, that I pay the rent for her until I come back to BKK. It is not her apartment, it's ours we said. OK, everybody knows: For every money transfer, the bank keeps some money. What did I do? Two months ago I paid the rent for two months in advance.

Last time I talked to her on the phone, she asked me, whether I sent money to her account or not. No, I didn't, because I sent already a lot of money last month. Since then: silent modus, means: she doesn't call me, if I call her, she doesn't pick up. I called a friend of ours. The friend told me, my girlfriend is "angry" because I didn't send money this month. As far as I know Thai girls: Could be the end of relationship.

Now my question: Do Thai girls just walk out, because they don't have the balls to tell you, that they break up? Any experiences?

Rajah, I have a story, but I really have no desire to go into it at the moment. I'm in a good mood today.

I will say this though.

+When we finished a few years back, it was a case of walk away and never look back. As far as I can understand, it was better for her this way. No need to talk or explain. Just move on.

Broke my heart, but there you go. What can you do.

And it is a valid point. Why bothertalking about something that's over? It's a logic I had never thought about before... what with mywestern upbringing, everything had to be explained and explained again and flipped over and analyzed... no wonder we are all mad.

No explanations.

[gburns57au]

Could it be that Rajah flashes the dosh around to get the girls in the first place then cuts back on the dosh later.....This would drive any girl away...

And so many guys do this....

[Beavis and Butthead]

" But why don't they tell you, if they are finished with you? If they say "Sorry, man, it's over" that would do it. I can't stand the silence"

*****

welcome to Asia. get used to it!

I read so many times farangs complaining the difficulties of getting rid of thai gfs, complaining how they won't move out of their flats. Now I see someone say they disappear without a word and someone says get used to it, it's Asia.

WHICH EXACTLY IS IT?

By the way, I thought it was every man's dream of gfs disappearing. Not?

And why is the word BG even appearing in this thread?

Bingo Maimeethai, I was going to post something to this effect but you have taken care of it for me

[whynot?]

Ì hope, you don't think, I am a ladykiller:

Girlfriend # 1:

We quarreled about money. I couldn't stand it anymore and left the room. After I came back to my apartment, she was gone. She took all her things, including toothbrush etc. so I knew, she'd never come back. End of relationship.

Girlfriend # 2:

We stayed in Lamai, Koh Samui. She looked for work, could get a job in Chaweng (about 3 km away from Lamai). She moved to Chaweng, we talked every day on the phone. She was very busy, hadn't time for me - she said. When I insisted on a meeting (just 3 km!) she hang up the phone. Didn't call, turned off the phone and finally got a new cell phone number. End of relationship.

Girlfriend # 3:

We agreed, that I pay the rent for her until I come back to BKK. It is not her apartment, it's ours we said. OK, everybody knows: For every money transfer, the bank keeps some money. What did I do? Two months ago I paid the rent for two months in advance.

Last time I talked to her on the phone, she asked me, whether I sent money to her account or not. No, I didn't, because I sent already a lot of money last month. Since then: silent modus, means: she doesn't call me, if I call her, she doesn't pick up. I called a friend of ours. The friend told me, my girlfriend is "angry" because I didn't send money this month. As far as I know Thai girls: Could be the end of relationship.

Now my question: Do Thai girls just walk out, because they don't have the balls to tell you, that they break up? Any experiences?

Consider yourself lucky it was so easy-usually takes a pry bar and police intervention to get 'em out-or maybe I just pick the crazies(and before anyone tees off on me no I did not meet them in a bar)

[britmaveric]

Look in the mirror 3 on the trot leaving you , must be you!

[Douggie Style]

sounds like they were never really in to you..try deodorant?

ok that was cheeky, sorry.

As my pop used to say, look right, speak right, smell right...you'll be right.

[Donz]

saying this is a thai thing and not a western thing is BS. a few white ex-gfs have left me without any contact, also has happend to alot of my mates too.

[GuestHouse]

If the basis of the relationship is cash and the cash stops flowing then don't be shocked that the relationship stops too.

If you pay to play, don't expect to play if you don't pay.

[gburns57au]

If the basis of the relationship is cash and the cash stops flowing then don't be shocked that the relationship stops too.

If you pay to play, don't expect to play if you don't pay.

So true...

Many guys go there and flash the cash, money they have saved for months to get there....they get involved with the girls and make promises they cant keep. Then when they cant keep up the rich farang pretence the girls go looking for better pastures. Who can blame them?? They werent the dishonest ones to start with.

The girls will tell you that they look for money or good heart....good heart doesnt mean no money...it means that they are looking for someone who will at least try as much as they can to look after them financially. However...it doesnt mean they will put up with deadbeats...

If you wanna play expect to pay...How much is upto you and her....just dont bullshit her

[jamman]

Rajah, are these bar girls? Everyone seems to be assuming this.

........................

Constantly hanging around bg's can drive you crazy. I like these girls, but most of them have some sort of psychological disorder that is going to effect the lives of people who are close to them.

Ive had the odd fight/argument with my gf but after a bit of silent treatment we alaways talk about it, work it out and move on stronger than before. I would say this young girl is more mature and reasonable than any farang gf I've had.

i think thats a bit of a broad brush isn't it??

might as well say that all farangs that are here are sex tourists as well

women can't drive

blah blah blah

perhaps the ones that you hang around with have problems but to say that most do is way over the top

Personality disorders are hard to pick at first. Those with them aren't raving lunatics. It can be subtle in the beginning, but eventually very destructive.

Of course it doesn't effect all bg's, but the chances are higher than in the general population. Sorry fellas, it's true.

Check out Borderline Personality Disorder

Newscientist.com did an article a few weeks ago that mentioned that early traumas often cause long lasting neurological deveolpmental damage. The wires stop lining up. It is irreversable.

There is a higher than average level of incest and abuse in Thailand.

There is a higher than average level of personality disordrers in Thailand.

Personality disorders are developmental delays - not all the household wiring was contracted.

Thailand has cultural issues that can be looked at in terms of developmental psychology.

And what we take for granted from a literate person is well beyond the capacity of an illiterate person. Each idea attaches to a neuron and becomes a new tool for our brain. We live in different cognitive worlds.

Of course the illeterate can have their own toolbox. Thankfully we have mutual ways to commune.

Edited October 9, 2006 by jamman

[Unknown]

If the basis of the relationship is cash and the cash stops flowing then don't be shocked that the relationship stops too.

If you pay to play, don't expect to play if you don't pay.

So true...

Many guys go there and flash the cash, money they have saved for months to get there....they get involved with the girls and make promises they cant keep. Then when they cant keep up the rich farang pretence the girls go looking for better pastures. Who can blame them?? They werent the dishonest ones to start with.

The girls will tell you that they look for money or good heart....good heart doesnt mean no money...it means that they are looking for someone who will at least try as much as they can to look after them financially. However...it doesnt mean they will put up with deadbeats...

If you wanna play expect to pay...How much is upto you and her....just dont bullshit her

That's right.

If you start a relationship based on money you do not have but said you had, do not expect it to last when she finds out.

But well, make it simpler, just tell the Thai girls you meet you have no money and will never have any, will save you the trouble of any relationship with them.

I can feel the angry comments coming already...

[jamman]

If the basis of the relationship is cash and the cash stops flowing then don't be shocked that the relationship stops too.

If you pay to play, don't expect to play if you don't pay.

So true...

Many guys go there and flash the cash, money they have saved for months to get there....they get involved with the girls and make promises they cant keep. Then when they cant keep up the rich farang pretence the girls go looking for better pastures. Who can blame them?? They werent the dishonest ones to start with.

The girls will tell you that they look for money or good heart....good heart doesnt mean no money...it means that they are looking for someone who will at least try as much as they can to look after them financially. However...it doesnt mean they will put up with deadbeats...

If you wanna play expect to pay...How much is upto you and her....just dont bullshit her

That's right.

If you start a relationship based on money you do not have but said you had, do not expect it to last when she finds out.

But well, make it simpler, just tell the Thai girls you meet you have no money and will never have any, will save you the trouble of any relationship with them.

I can feel the angry comments coming already...

I have been driven by bad looks and convenient ideology. And poverty. Yes, it can work. If you discover your niche and market it, you can try your skeleton key on 1000 locks and open some of them.

[Unknown]

If you discover your niche and market it, you can try your skeleton key on 1000 locks and open some of them.

Well, men are usually not that patient, especially in Thailand.

A mistake most of the time, I agree...

[a2396]

perhaps you should try "dating" a different type of girl??

There are plenty that are interested inyou rather than your wallet but that dpends where you meet them

"There are plenty that are interested inyou rather than your wallet but that dpends where you meet them" ??????

I have not met any exceptions to the "money factor" in my 2 years + of living in Thailand and I do not go looking for them in bars. If you are Farang and you want a relationship with one, you better provide steady money. I have had several do the same as the OP describes. Other factors, such as compatibility and having a good time together seem to be of small consequence to them.

[Donz]

perhaps you should try "dating" a different type of girl??

There are plenty that are interested inyou rather than your wallet but that dpends where you meet them

"There are plenty that are interested inyou rather than your wallet but that dpends where you meet them" ??????

I have not met any exceptions to the "money factor" in my 2 years + of living in Thailand and I do not go looking for them in bars. If you are Farang and you want a relationship with one, you better provide steady money. I have had several do the same as the OP describes. Other factors, such as compatibility and having a good time together seem to be of small consequence to them.

Where do you go looking for them? There is plenty out there, a few of my friends have met some in a few months. 2 plus years? You must be doing something wrong

[Rajah]

To tell the truth, I met the girls in Samui, no bar girls though. Question: What is an Isaan girl doing in Koh Samui?

Anyway, the issue is, why did they walk out without notice. And if I understand right, it seems, that it is a common way in Thailand.

Thanks for all replies.

[Ulysses]

To tell the truth, I met the girls in Samui, no bar girls though. Question: What is an Isaan girl doing in Koh Samui?

Answer: What is a Swede, or a German, or an American doing in Thailand?

At least the Isaan girl is Thai, and is still in her own country.

[gabe]

Ì hope, you don't think, I am a ladykiller:

Girlfriend # 1:

We quarreled about money. I couldn't stand it anymore and left the room. After I came back to my apartment, she was gone. She took all her things, including toothbrush etc. so I knew, she'd never come back. End of relationship.

That's the exact same thing that happened to me with my previous thai girlfriend.

[gabe]

To tell the truth, I met the girls in Samui, no bar girls though. Question: What is an Isaan girl doing in Koh Samui?

Anyway, the issue is, why did they walk out without notice. And if I understand right, it seems, that it is a common way in Thailand.

Thanks for all replies.

I don't understand why they(thai girlfriends) walk out without notice. I agree, it does seem to be a common way in Thailand.

[meadish_sweetball]

If the basis of the relationship is cash and the cash stops flowing then don't be shocked that the relationship stops too.

If you pay to play, don't expect to play if you don't pay.

So true...

Many guys go there and flash the cash, money they have saved for months to get there....they get involved with the girls and make promises they cant keep. Then when they cant keep up the rich farang pretence the girls go looking for better pastures. Who can blame them?? They werent the dishonest ones to start with.

The girls will tell you that they look for money or good heart....good heart doesnt mean no money...it means that they are looking for someone who will at least try as much as they can to look after them financially. However...it doesnt mean they will put up with deadbeats...

If you wanna play expect to pay...How much is upto you and her....just dont bullshit her

That's right.

If you start a relationship based on money you do not have but said you had, do not expect it to last when she finds out.

But well, make it simpler, just tell the Thai girls you meet you have no money and will never have any, will save you the trouble of any relationship with them.

I can feel the angry comments coming already...

I'm not rich and even made an effort to appear poorer than I was when dating my now wife, in order to test her a little. She didn't disappear then, and she's still around.

[terry57]

If the basis of the relationship is cash and the cash stops flowing then don't be shocked that the relationship stops too.

If you pay to play, don't expect to play if you don't pay.

So true...

Many guys go there and flash the cash, money they have saved for months to get there....they get involved with the girls and make promises they cant keep. Then when they cant keep up the rich farang pretence the girls go looking for better pastures. Who can blame them?? They werent the dishonest ones to start with.

The girls will tell you that they look for money or good heart....good heart doesnt mean no money...it means that they are looking for someone who will at least try as much as they can to look after them financially. However...it doesnt mean they will put up with deadbeats...

If you wanna play expect to pay...How much is upto you and her....just dont bullshit her

That's right.

If you start a relationship based on money you do not have but said you had, do not expect it to last when she finds out.

But well, make it simpler, just tell the Thai girls you meet you have no money and will never have any, will save you the trouble of any relationship with them.

I can feel the angry comments coming already...

I'm not rich and even made an effort to appear poorer than I was when dating my now wife, in order to test her a little. She didn't disappear then, and she's still around.

your wifes still around meadish because your a decent human being, you treat your wife with respect and have a good brain.

its not very hard is it meadish but some of these guys just cant grip the concept of respect for the thai women.

cheers meadish

[kmart]

I don't understand why they(thai girlfriends) walk out without notice. I agree, it does seem to be a common way in Thailand.

Um,.... And there is a problem?

[sting01]

If the basis of the relationship is cash and the cash stops flowing then don't be shocked that the relationship stops too.

If you pay to play, don't expect to play if you don't pay.

So true...

Many guys go there and flash the cash, money they have saved for months to get there....they get involved with the girls and make promises they cant keep. Then when they cant keep up the rich farang pretence the girls go looking for better pastures. Who can blame them?? They werent the dishonest ones to start with.

The girls will tell you that they look for money or good heart....good heart doesnt mean no money...it means that they are looking for someone who will at least try as much as they can to look after them financially. However...it doesnt mean they will put up with deadbeats...

If you wanna play expect to pay...How much is upto you and her....just dont bullshit her

That's right.

If you start a relationship based on money you do not have but said you had, do not expect it to last when she finds out.

But well, make it simpler, just tell the Thai girls you meet you have no money and will never have any, will save you the trouble of any relationship with them.

I can feel the angry comments coming already...

I'm not rich and even made an effort to appear poorer than I was when dating my now wife, in order to test her a little. She didn't disappear then, and she's still around.

Well, 5 years in Thailand, 2 gf, and ... mmmm ... noone of them was there for my money (at one point I simply do not have any money and the gf had to provide the living for 2 month).

Honesty is the key I think. In my case I decided to try a new professional approach (let say I went free lance, so I had to get clients and it took 2 month to get my first money by that way). Before to do that we had a conversation, and the nshe had to make a difficult choice ... She was young, half my age, and I believe the easiest (maybe the best too) would have been to choose to be sefish and say goodbye. She choosed to stay on my side, and she did so untill my business was running well. At that time she asked for her freedom, based on relationship problems not related to money.

So, all depend how you treat the girl, and what you are looking for. In that case money was a small player, what took us appart was simply to have me caught in act with a third person . On the other hand, if I did not told her what will be my financial future, she would have simply walk away og me and not help.... not because she was a money digger (even if young she is producer in media of media and earn nearly an expat salary), but simply because I wouldnot havetrust in her enought to share my problems or to share my future with her. In thai culture it mean she would have been simply a mia noi, a gf, a sex toy.

Be honest , speak to your lady, even bar girl. Opening your heart mean you have true feelings, and every thai will respect that, even bar girls.