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Posted

I have my first experience with a younger Thai b/f. I am a 56 year old British male and he is 35. We have been together for 5 months now however I am finding the sexual side of our relatìonship very frustrating and would be interested to know if any of what I am experiencing is the 'norm'

My Thai boyfriend does not like open mouth kissing, so will only kiss me with his mouth closed. Neither is he passive sexually nor does he like to give oral sex.

Can anyone out there tell me if any of this is normal?

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Posted
:D Not at all unusual for thai young men not to to be interested in kissing, it is not part of their culture, their form of kissing involves 'sniffing ones cheek or face'..I think they see the western concept of kissing 'unclean'...certainly not shoving of tongues down ones throat, some do and some dont, but I reckon more 'dont' than do...I am sure someone could start a poll...displays of affection vary from culture to culture, look how middle eastern men greet one another, a kiss on either cheek, and these men are not gay...it is their culture, the Frogs love greeting with the air kiss, and then we have the aussies who shake the hel_l outta ya hand to let ya know that they are 'real men', not sissy boys, personally I prefer the 'wai' as a greeting, what evolves with a boyfriend, well, I guess the two of you work that out in time...of course now with so many Yankee movies being seen by thais, they get the message that kissing is the norm, different strokes for different folks, maybe :o Dukkah
Posted

Some like it, some don't. Some guys I know both older and younger than I refuse to kiss, and some others love it more than me.

Some guys have health issues re. kissing and other oral activities- I certainly know enough Thais and farang who've had the Dreaded Kissing Tonsillitis.

Just as with folks back home, Thais have different sexual tastes- if your guy is not into being a bottom, he's not a bottom. This isn't a Thai thing, it's a gay thing.

"Steven"

Posted
I have my first experience with a younger Thai b/f. I am a 56 year old British male and he is 35. We have been together for 5 months now however I am finding the sexual side of our relatìonship very frustrating and would be interested to know if any of what I am experiencing is the 'norm'

My Thai boyfriend does not like open mouth kissing, so will only kiss me with his mouth closed. Neither is he passive sexually nor does he like to give oral sex.

Can anyone out there tell me if any of this is normal?

The answer is very straight forward, he's not gay or at the very least not comfortable with it.

I would suspect other motives for his actions. :o

Posted

That is what I am worried about, maybe he is not gay because he even when he plays an active role he always uses a sexual stimulant

Posted

A check of your guy's room would be instructive... is it full of posters of male stars or singers (not including football stars), or buxom young ladies? Ask him to show you his, um, naughty pics- what kind of person features in them?

Posted

I'll politely suggest that you look elsewhere. If you're frustrated, and he needs aids or stimulants to get excited enough, and doesn't want to do various things you want, and...and...you're just not well matched, apparently.

Posted

Trouble is that there are emotions involved and it's difficult to cut them. You keep on hoping that things will get better!! Thanks for your comments

Posted

Perhaps you're overlooking the obvious: you breath is stanky and he's too shy to tell you. Try brushing your teeth (and tongue, then floss, then rinse with mouthwash).

Posted
Thai women seem to love it.

Thai women are not much into kissing the western way.

But sure, when properly taught, they love it.

I guess it is the same for Thai boys... :o

Posted

It's almost like labelling somebody as "not a top" or "not a bottom" and one night you're pleasantly surprised. I've had them kiss and french kiss on the first date, or not until the tenth date, or finally start lip kissing after....

It's unpredictable.

Posted
Trouble is that there are emotions involved and it's difficult to cut them. You keep on hoping that things will get better!! Thanks for your comments

Have you talked to your lover about your complaints? An open dialog about your mutual likes and dislikes would certainly clear the air and perhaps make both of you more aware of what is important to each of you. I find that many couples have a lot of difficulty in communicating what they really like when they are involved in intimate activity.

Posted

Trouble is that there are emotions involved and it's difficult to cut them. You keep on hoping that things will get better!! Thanks for your comments

Have you talked to your lover about your complaints? An open dialog about your mutual likes and dislikes would certainly clear the air and perhaps make both of you more aware of what is important to each of you. I find that many couples have a lot of difficulty in communicating what they really like when they are involved in intimate activity.

Yes I have and on more than one occasion but it just doesn't seem to make any difference.......it's almost as though I haven't even told him how I feel. Thanks for your comment.

Posted
ask him why he don't like to be kiss. he may have something in his mind. well, wild guess, he may not a good kisser :o

Please don't be offended but a visit to your dentist might be in order?

Posted

well, then it may come to the point that, what kind of kiss do you give to him. you kiss him only when you want to have sex? do you kiss him just to show you how much you love him? or do you kiss him because you think it gonna make him get hot?

after my first kiss...i learned that it is not so bad :o

Posted
well, then it may come to the point that, what kind of kiss do you give to him. you kiss him only when you want to have sex? do you kiss him just to show you how much you love him? or do you kiss him because you think it gonna make him get hot?

after my first kiss...i learned that it is not so bad :o

No, most of the time when I kiss him it is to show how much I love him

Posted
Trouble is that there are emotions involved and it's difficult to cut them. You keep on hoping that things will get better!! Thanks for your comments

I have to agree that you just may not be a good match. I think the kissing thing is a personal thing not really a Thai thing.

Gay/Str8/Hygene --- they all bring you to the same place ---- frustrated.

The strong emotion part makes it worth having a very candid conversation with him. This may be a challanging conversation but is worth it

"hoping" things will get better won't cut it.

Good luck with it!

Posted

If after several conversations, when it is apparent that your partner understands you and knows what you want, he still refuses to try something he knows you want or discuss it further, then signs are he's not going to do it, for one of two reasons:

1. He's not ready, or

2. He's never going to do it.

How much time you gamble that it's the first option rather than the second is pretty much up to your patience, kindness, and strength. I've learned that it's not very satisfying to put off my needs hoping that a reluctant partner will someday be able to satisfy them. It's better to deal with the pain and look for a new person.

"Steven"

Posted
after you live together for many month and he resist to doing that. it gonna be a real messy someday. be prepare!

Thanks for your comment Espada but what do you mean exactly 'messy'?

Posted (edited)

drama! "my boyfriend dosnt like to kiss, blablabla" like have you TALKED to him about it, or perhaps u can teach him a thing or two.

now, from experience, good kissers are very good in bed (and im a great kisser!!!! tee hee!). if the other guy's kissing is bad, then chances are, he's bad in bed. then u can teach him no?

like teach him how to move his lips and tongue. some guys are very stingy with the amount of tongue they give. i like to go the whole shebang!!! a nice wet mouth###### with the tongue!!!! and when u pull away, theres like a string of spit then u will roughly wipe away from his mouth before u suck face again! wooooffff!!!

a really good kiss is a major turnon, and bad kissers give horrible bjs. good kissers usually can deepthroat. from experience, i can vouch for this. a good kiss is usually a prelude to a great ######....

Edited by boybrat
Posted
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Thai women seem to love it.

Thai women have to be 'trained' to love it.

Not in the culture I'm afraid...

Nothing to do with culture.

I'm feeling a little bit self conscious about posting in this sub forum, I know why, you don't need to tell me.

Do any of you guys know the origin of the 'kiss' i.e. what purpose it served..... it's about as far removed from Asia as it could be, not surprising that the 'culture' is catching up.

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