A major research institution has recently announced

the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet

known to science. The new element has been named

"Governmentium".

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,

75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy

neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These

312 particles are held together by forces called

morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of

lepton-like particles called peons. Since

Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. It

can, however, be detected as it impedes every

reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of the element Governmentium causes

one reaction to take over four days to complete when

it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six

years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes an

instant reorganization in which a portion of the

assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange

places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually

increase over time, since each reorganization causes

some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some

scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed

whenever morons reach a certain quantity in

concentration. This hypothetical quantity is

referred to as "Critical Morass".

This would explain that old adage:

"Government workers tend to rise to the level of their incompetence."

A major research institution has recently announced

the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet

known to science. The new element has been named

"Governmentium".

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,

75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy

neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These

312 particles are held together by forces called

morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of

lepton-like particles called peons. Since

Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. It

can, however, be detected as it impedes every

reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of the element Governmentium causes

one reaction to take over four days to complete when

it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six

years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes an

instant reorganization in which a portion of the

assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange

places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually

increase over time, since each reorganization causes

some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some

scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed

whenever morons reach a certain quantity in

concentration. This hypothetical quantity is

referred to as "Critical Morass".

You could market the concept to our bestest friend Tun Thaksin ... he'd snap it up like a shot.