stevehaigh Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. It can, however, be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of the element Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes an instant reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mandl Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 This would explain that old adage: "Government workers tend to rise to the level of their incompetence." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. It can, however, be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of the element Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes an instant reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". You could market the concept to our bestest friend Tun Thaksin ... he'd snap it up like a shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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