Trouble in paradise: Thailand and the expatriate experience

[billd766]

It's not surprising if you don't have the tenacity for the culture nuances here

Thailand on the surface is perfect for vacations

To stay Long term and with a Thai family depends very much on the person ability to adapt

I really gave that my damnedest, trying to blend in with my gf's family. I just couldn't get them to use my name, I was always "the farang."

Now I rent. Owning isn't worth the headache.

My wife's family uses my name and have done so for years. Even my MIL (18 months younger than me) called me Pee Bill for a long while but sadly she died last year. My FIL calls me the same thing though we don't see him that much as we live in rural Khampaeng Phet and he lives in urban Bang Na.

I don't own either but neither do I rent. The house and land belong to my wife and will go to our son when she dies. I am 71 and I am content to use the house and land and and sure can't take it with me when I die.

[Denim]

What i like about Pattaya is the foreign restaurants (even Indian, Lebanese or whatever) and that they speak better english than Bangkokians.

Yup, we have some in Bangkok. In Sunrise Tacos, staff speaks perfect English, even wwsome Mexican I believe.

They are from the Philippinnes.W

What I like about Pattaya is that its five hour drive from where I live.

[JAG]

It's not surprising if you don't have the tenacity for the culture nuances here

Thailand on the surface is perfect for vacations

To stay Long term and with a Thai family depends very much on the person ability to adapt

I really gave that my damnedest, trying to blend in with my gf's family. I just couldn't get them to use my name, I was always "the farang."

Now I rent. Owning isn't worth the headache.

My wife's family uses my name and have done so for years. Even my MIL (18 months younger than me) called me Pee Bill for a long while but sadly she died last year. My FIL calls me the same thing though we don't see him that much as we live in rural Khampaeng Phet and he lives in urban Bang Na.

I don't own either but neither do I rent. The house and land belong to my wife and will go to our son when she dies. I am 71 and I am content to use the house and land and and sure can't take it with me when I die.

" I am content...". As am I.

Contentment is a state which it seems evades many here.

A shame.

As for names, family and just about everyone in the village calls me John. At school I am Mr John, apart from P4, who refer to me amongst themselves as" Johnzilla".

I suppose as an EFL teacher having pupils giving you a nickname which is an English pun is some sort of result!

There's lots I would like to see different here, but on balance yes, I am content.

Edited March 21, 2016 by JAG

[Gary A]

I also came here to work. I was in my mid forties. I worked until the Thai economy crashed then went back to the US. I have a trade that makes it pretty easy to get good paying jobs. My job was in Kalifornia and I absolutely hated Kalifornia. I suppose that a lot of my problem was that I sorely missed Thailand. I worked five years there until I was able to retire. I think that the happiest day of my life was when that big bird left LAX heading for Thailand.

I had learned quite a bit in the six years that I worked in Thailand. I knew that there was no way that I was going to start a second family like so many retirees do. I had a vasectomy to make sure of that. Although I made fairly good money, there was no way I could afford to put kids in top International schools and I didn't feel they would get a good enough education in public schools. If I were a young man I would not have tried to raise a family here.

To sum it up, Thailand is a great place to retire as long as you planned your retirement carefully. No place is good if you don't have enough income to relax and live as you want to live. It took me a long time to find a good woman with no children who was willing to put up with a crotchety old fart like me. I guess I got lucky because my wife has kept me for over ten years. She has many nieces and nephews to satisfy her maternal cravings. She wanted to adopt a baby but the adoption agency told her that I was too old.

We live in her house upcountry. I go out once or twice a week to drink beer and help to solve the world's problems with the few other farangs who also live up here. I still have my condo in Jomtien and if I need a change of scenery, I head down there to see my old friends. My wife is usually too busy to come down with me. She still actively farms and works part time for the electric company. Sometimes she will come down with me for a few days then she takes the bus back home. Life is good. My wife worries about me driving down and back alone. At seventy one years old, I don't know how much longer I will be able to do it. The plan then is to start flying. Hopefully the airport at U-Tapao will have flights from Loei.

[willyumiii]

It would be nice if Thailand had a Western neighbourhood somewhere, something like Chinatown.

They do..

they are called Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket and Krabi.

Westernized Thailand.

[willyumiii]

Trouble?

I see no trouble.

Thailand is exactly what I expected it to be.

That is why I am here.

And I am fine thank you!

[peteregion]

Thailand is a basket case, anyone who finds this place their dream destination and plan to spend the rest of their lives here needs serious help..I bitterly regret spending so much of my life here and like many I am constantly calculating my options but at my age life itself is against me.

Luckily I never burnt my bridges and all my assets are still in Europe, assets I had here I have liquidated over the past 18 months and transferred all back to Europe.

Unlike many I came here with work, I never got into the bar and prostitute scene and never married a bar girl… I am not clouded by the rose tints a great many seam to experience and totally know what this place and its people are all about; its 3^rd world and will never change

If you like it enjoy; but if you could experience what I have over almost 5 decades you would be crying in you Sigha

Everyone always have a choice. Whether for work or family or for whatever reason. You choose to be here. Nobody forces you to be here. So are the Thai. They have a choice. They choose their own way of life. Western Foreigners coming here thinks that the Thai must follow what the Western foreigner's think is the right way of life. Many Thai (in fact many Asians) thinks that the Western Foreigners are no longer the Colonial Master and Superior race many Foreigner thinks they are.

Whatever your thoughts and choices are, the country is not yours. You can always pack and go. Many locals will said good riddance. New ones will come and fill up.

[laolover88]

I also came here to work. I was in my mid forties. I worked until the Thai economy crashed then went back to the US. I have a trade that makes it pretty easy to get good paying jobs. My job was in Kalifornia and I absolutely hated Kalifornia. I suppose that a lot of my problem was that I sorely missed Thailand. I worked five years there until I was able to retire. I think that the happiest day of my life was when that big bird left LAX heading for Thailand.

I had learned quite a bit in the six years that I worked in Thailand. I knew that there was no way that I was going to start a second family like so many retirees do. I had a vasectomy to make sure of that. Although I made fairly good money, there was no way I could afford to put kids in top International schools and I didn't feel they would get a good enough education in public schools. If I were a young man I would not have tried to raise a family here.

To sum it up, Thailand is a great place to retire as long as you planned your retirement carefully. No place is good if you don't have enough income to relax and live as you want to live. It took me a long time to find a good woman with no children who was willing to put up with a crotchety old fart like me. I guess I got lucky because my wife has kept me for over ten years. She has many nieces and nephews to satisfy her maternal cravings. She wanted to adopt a baby but the adoption agency told her that I was too old.

We live in her house upcountry. I go out once or twice a week to drink beer and help to solve the world's problems with the few other farangs who also live up here. I still have my condo in Jomtien and if I need a change of scenery, I head down there to see my old friends. My wife is usually too busy to come down with me. She still actively farms and works part time for the electric company. Sometimes she will come down with me for a few days then she takes the bus back home. Life is good. My wife worries about me driving down and back alone. At seventy one years old, I don't know how much longer I will be able to do it. The plan then is to start flying. Hopefully the airport at U-Tapao will have flights from Loei.

I like the truth!

[anto]

>>. I still have my condo in Jomtien and if I need a change of scenery,<<......Good for you ,you seem to have things sorted and were lucky to meet a good Thai lady .I live in Chiang Mai with a good Thai Wife who has her own business .I miss the Condo i owned in Jomtien Beach Condominium .Thats one of my regrets .

[cyberfarang]

There is a lot of truth in that report. Many Farlangs are ill equipped to stay long times in Thailand. Lack of money, lack of legal employment prospects, hiding behind Thais to run businesses, lonely and depressed, relationship problems, can`t adapt to the Thai way of life and not in good health when they come over. They are like people walking high up in the air on tightropes without safety nets.

Seems like they are trying to weed these people out, a sort of Farlang cull and this time I think they mean business. Looks like the economy door to paradise is closing and it`s going to be first class seats only from now on.

[Shaunduhpostman]

This article presents nothing other than dismissive, whiny, nastiness using acceptably polite language. I wonder how the publishers or the author would like it if we all just disappeared? Just you guys and the junta and only your nice Chinese tourists for company. Something tells me you would not like that either.

Foreigners are human beings not Hollywood celluloid come to life. Just because they don't conform to stock cartoon-like naive preconceptions doesn't mean they are all worthless and should be written off. Like the locals we all have our flaws but we are not all alcoholics, homeless people, and criminals. If Thais don't want us here because we are just bad apples, then they need to take responsibility and bar us from all but 2 week holidays. If we are nothing more than a problem as the article suggests, then the publication needs to suggest solutions instead of backing down and slinking off. Otherwise what is the point of this rather banal caterwaul anyway?

[Oscar2]

What i like about Pattaya is the foreign restaurants (even Indian, Lebanese or whatever) and that they speak better english than Bangkokians.

Yup, we have some in Bangkok. In Sunrise Tacos, staff speaks perfect English, even some Mexican I believe.

They are from the Philippinnes.

LOL since when is there a "Mexican" language?

[nemrut]

Like a properly functioning police force, fair and impartial Judiciary, and an effective democratically elected government - who aren't in their positions for the sole purpose of amassing grotesque levels of personal wealth? Yep, guilty as charged...

Do you think you could afford to live here if Thailand had that level of infrastructure?

You do know youre in a developing country right?

Didn't notice any reference to infrastructure there.

Because youre not looking at the big picture.

Municipal services, government, etc all part of a country's 'infrastructure.'

The same infrastructure thousands of farang enjoy for free courtesy of Thai tax payer.

The same infrastructure that deals with the numerous farang altercations, violence and criminal activity.

The same infrastructure that allows farang to get hospital care regardless of whether theyre able to pay.

The same infrastructure that is barely capable of serving it's own citizens let alone the hordes of farang who strain the healthcare, law enforcement and emergency personnel that deal with all the farang suicides, deaths and other self-induced mishaps.

All this 'infrastructure' courtesy of Thai tax payers...

Edited March 21, 2016 by nemrut

[lkv]

LOL since when is there a "Mexican" language?

Sorry I meant Mexican Spanish

Edited March 21, 2016 by lkv

[nemrut]

This article presents nothing other than dismissive, whiny, nastiness using acceptably polite language. I wonder how the publishers or the author would like it if we all just disappeared? Just you guys and the junta and only your nice Chinese tourists for company. Something tells me you would not like that either.

Foreigners are human beings not Hollywood celluloid come to life. Just because they don't conform to stock cartoon-like naive preconceptions doesn't mean they are all worthless and should be written off. Like the locals we all have our flaws but we are not all alcoholics, homeless people, and criminals. If Thais don't want us here because we are just bad apples, then they need to take responsibility and bar us from all but 2 week holidays. If we are nothing more than a problem as the article suggests, then the publication needs to suggest solutions instead of backing down and slinking off. Otherwise what is the point of this rather banal caterwaul anyway?

No worse than the 'dismissive, whiny, nastiness, using acceptably impolite language' by many on this forum to bash Thais.

The article speaks a lot of truth you and others are simply in denial about. You did notice that the author is farang right?

[Psychic]

Like a properly functioning police force, fair and impartial Judiciary, and an effective democratically elected government - who aren't in their positions for the sole purpose of amassing grotesque levels of personal wealth? Yep, guilty as charged...

Do you think you could afford to live here if Thailand had that level of infrastructure?

You do know youre in a developing country right?

Didn't notice any reference to infrastructure there.

Because youre not looking at the big picture.

Municipal services, government, etc all part of a country's 'infrastructure.'

The same infrastructure thousands of farang enjoy for free courtesy of Thai tax payer.

The same infrastructure that deals with the numerous farang altercations, violence and criminal activity.

The same infrastructure that allows farang to get hospital care regardless of whether theyre able to pay.

The same infrastructure that is barely capable of serving it's own citizens let alone the hordes of farang who strain the healthcare, law enforcement and emergency personnel that deal with all the farang suicides, deaths and other self-induced mishaps.

All this 'infrastructure' courtesy of Thai tax payers...

Very well ducked.

But if you want to talk about infrastructure are you talking about the airports that bring tourists here, the roads they use to sightsee, the water and electricity that goes to their hotels?

Every time someone buys something in Thailand they pay tax and support the economy.

You obviously believe that having foreigners in Thailand costs the economy more than not having them here.

I believe you are completely incorrect.

Of course there are exceptions but the vast majority of ex-pats pour far larger sums of money into the economy than they take out.

[bentfarang]

It's not surprising if you don't have the tenacity for the culture nuances here

Thailand on the surface is perfect for vacations

To stay Long term and with a Thai family depends very much on the person ability to adapt

I really gave that my damnedest, trying to blend in with my gf's family. I just couldn't get them to use my name, I was always "the farang."

Now I rent. Owning isn't worth the headache.

My wife's family uses my name and have done so for years. Even my MIL (18 months younger than me) called me Pee Bill for a long while but sadly she died last year. My FIL calls me the same thing though we don't see him that much as we live in rural Khampaeng Phet and he lives in urban Bang Na.

I don't own either but neither do I rent. The house and land belong to my wife and will go to our son when she dies. I am 71 and I am content to use the house and land and and sure can't take it with me when I die.

I don't think the rentals he referred to wore immovable properties. Edited March 21, 2016 by bentfarang

[Lannig]

The same infrastructure that allows farang to get hospital care regardless of whether theyre able to pay.

Huh? where? AFAIK even in government hospitals we have to pay for the care.

And I find this generalization a bit offensive for all of us who have actually worked legally and paid taxes in Thailand, like I've done for several years.

My employer provided a health insurance so I wasn't costing a baht to the government when I was receiving healthcare. And I did pay taxes, quite some. Probably much more than many Thais earning at least as much money as I did, like e.g. shop owners.

To get back to the general idea of the topic and the article: expatriate experience, to me there were two completely different experiences, almost like living in two different countries:

- before I worked in Thailand and now that I don't anymore, coming only on vacation

- when I worked in Thailand

On many aspects, I had a bad quality of life during my working years in Thailand. Hence my returning to my home country.

Low salary, fragile status, lack of any safety net in case of job loss, I could end up on the streets very quickly, difficulty to get proper healthcare at a reasonable price. Plus the fact that living and commuting in Bangkok and surroundings is not the nicest place on Earth, if not for anything else but the pollution (air, noise etc.)

Now that I come back to Thailand for vacation in places I like, with enough funds to live comfortably and the safety of my comprehensive health and travel insurances and a solid job waiting for me, well, I do recognize Thailand as a bit of paradise indeed.

Well, until things turn really sour politically-wise and the country falls apart, but that's another debate,

[whiterussian]

Spouse visas to the UK requiring £18,600 or £62,500 dampens desire to continue here... that's a proper job, no nipping back to top up funds on a whim with the wifey. 'Mud Island' is calling me...

[northernjohn]

He said that many farangs expect the same cultural standards here in Thailand as they have within their home countries.

Like a properly functioning police force, fair and impartial Judiciary, and an effective democratically elected government - who aren't in their positions for the sole purpose of amassing grotesque levels of personal wealth? Yep, guilty as charged...

I had to laugh when I read this

He said that many farangs expect the same cultural standards here in Thailand as they have within their home countries.

Any one that expected that would have to be brain dead.

[Bender]

I told you! All these thai apologists are totally bonkers.

And now they are allowed, to pose as journalists, and wrote complete nonsense for online newspaper.

I bet you , this looney Murray Hunter, is certainly a thaivisa member

Edited March 21, 2016 by Bender

[jamesbrock]

He said that many farangs expect the same cultural standards here in Thailand as they have within their home countries.

Like a properly functioning police force, fair and impartial Judiciary, and an effective democratically elected government - who aren't in their positions for the sole purpose of amassing grotesque levels of personal wealth? Yep, guilty as charged...

I had to laugh when I read this

That's good, because it was meant to be funny! For as much as one would like to see that, for the reasons stated above and many more, it will likely never happen.

[CqK]

I have been to 90 countries and 303 cities since I was 15, but Thai still think I know nothing!! That's the frustration living here.

hehe. classic. 90 other countries mean nothing to someone who hasn't been further than some border market...

brazil, brussels, same same. austria, australia, same same.

You are not the only one who gets that. I find it amusing when I have told people who come to do a job at the house and then ignore what I told them only later to have to re-do it the way I said. The wife is just as bad she thinks the guys know what to do and wont accept that I have a lot more experience than they do and know their plan is wrong.

One has to find it amusing or go absolutely insane! My husband is Thai and he tells me, "They know what they're doing" when it is so obvious they do not know what they are doing. I've literally drawn detailed pictures, witnessed the smile accompanying the 'now I get it look', the affirmative head nod, the spoken, "OK, OK, OK", and the results clearly prove even the drawing wasn't enough.

[EyesWideOpen]

Like a properly functioning police force, fair and impartial Judiciary, and an effective democratically elected government - who aren't in their positions for the sole purpose of amassing grotesque levels of personal wealth? Yep, guilty as charged...

Do you think you could afford to live here if Thailand had that level of infrastructure?

You do know youre in a developing country right?

Didn't notice any reference to infrastructure there.

Because youre not looking at the big picture.

Municipal services, government, etc all part of a country's 'infrastructure.'

The same infrastructure thousands of farang enjoy for free courtesy of Thai tax payer.

The same infrastructure that deals with the numerous farang altercations, violence and criminal activity.

The same infrastructure that allows farang to get hospital care regardless of whether theyre able to pay.

The same infrastructure that is barely capable of serving it's own citizens let alone the hordes of farang who strain the healthcare, law enforcement and emergency personnel that deal with all the farang suicides, deaths and other self-induced mishaps.

All this 'infrastructure' courtesy of Thai tax payers...

Hospital care without payment ?? You must be fresh off the boat

and wasted no time in putting on the rose colored glasses...

If you cut your finger, the hospital may take a chance of fixing

you and hope you pay. Any major operation or procedure you

will be paying in advance, or you will receive NO treatment....

So on the day of your operation, the first thing you will do

is visit the patient services desk where you pay upfront

for their estimated total cost.

[billd766]

What i like about Pattaya is the foreign restaurants (even Indian, Lebanese or whatever) and that they speak better english than Bangkokians.

Yup, we have some in Bangkok. In Sunrise Tacos, staff speaks perfect English, even some Mexican I believe.

They are from the Philippinnes.

LOL since when is there a "Mexican" language?

AFAIR it is Spanish. It does however differ from the original Spanish as the Spanish language is different in Chile, Venezuela, Peru and all the other Spanish speaking countries in South America.

[EyesWideOpen]

Being in Thailand as a single expat is sort of like

a game. Learn the rules, play it well, and you can

have a fantastic time. If you actually believe

the stories woven by bar girls and start buying them

cars and houses, you have in essence lost the game

and are nothing more than a buffalo being milked.

My first week in Thailand, an old seasoned expat

told me to never believe a single word a Thai

girl tells you, and you will have the time of your

life. He was exactly right, and I indeed had the time

of my life for 14 years.. :-)

Edited March 21, 2016 by EyesWideOpen

[billd766]

This article presents nothing other than dismissive, whiny, nastiness using acceptably polite language. I wonder how the publishers or the author would like it if we all just disappeared? Just you guys and the junta and only your nice Chinese tourists for company. Something tells me you would not like that either.

Foreigners are human beings not Hollywood celluloid come to life. Just because they don't conform to stock cartoon-like naive preconceptions doesn't mean they are all worthless and should be written off. Like the locals we all have our flaws but we are not all alcoholics, homeless people, and criminals. If Thais don't want us here because we are just bad apples, then they need to take responsibility and bar us from all but 2 week holidays. If we are nothing more than a problem as the article suggests, then the publication needs to suggest solutions instead of backing down and slinking off. Otherwise what is the point of this rather banal caterwaul anyway?

No worse than the 'dismissive, whiny, nastiness, using acceptably impolite language' by many on this forum to bash Thais.

The article speaks a lot of truth you and others are simply in denial about. You did notice that the author is farang right?

That doesn't always make him right though.

There are very many of us farangs who are nothing like the author describes and as Shaunduhpostman says above. We don't all live or even want to live in farang ghettos. We didn't all marry HiSo Thai ladies, nor wear wife beater T-shirts, get drunk, every night in places like Pattaya etc, cause accidents, overstay or any of the other myriad things that farangs are sometimes accused of.

Many of us are normal quiet peaceful people who ended up here in Thailand for one reason or other and have put down roots, who DO obey the laws as silly as they seem sometimes, who rarely visit hospitals, who DO pay our way. Many of us have married Thai ladies and have families and extended families and are quite happy to be here.

Sure I can think on quite a few ways that Thailand could do differently which would make life easier for me and my family and everybody else and their families but I don't have a say in it and rightly so as it isn't my country.

In my country I still pay tax and I do have a vote but I still can't change things if the person/party I voted for doesn't get into power.

[JLCrab]

Being in Thailand as a single expat is sort of like

a game. Learn the rules, play it well, and you can

have a fantastic time. If you actually believe

the stories woven by bar girls and start buying them

cars and houses, you have in essence lost the game

and are nothing more than a buffalo being milked.

My first week in Thailand, an old seasoned expat

told me to never believe a single word a Thai

girl tells you, and you will have the time of your

life. He was exactly right, and I indeed had the time

of my life for 14 years.. :-)

Maybe the phrase "Trust, but verify" could've provided you with even a better time.

Edited March 21, 2016 by JLCrab

[LannaGuy]

Being in Thailand as a single expat is sort of like

a game. Learn the rules, play it well, and you can

have a fantastic time. If you actually believe

the stories woven by bar girls and start buying them

cars and houses, you have in essence lost the game

and are nothing more than a buffalo being milked.

My first week in Thailand, an old seasoned expat

told me to never believe a single word a Thai

girl tells you, and you will have the time of your

life. He was exactly right, and I indeed had the time

of my life for 14 years.. :-)

Maybe the phrase "Trust, but verify" could've provided you with even a better time.

naaa... he got it right first time

[JLCrab]

Being in Thailand as a single expat is sort of like

a game. Learn the rules, play it well, and you can

have a fantastic time. If you actually believe

the stories woven by bar girls and start buying them

cars and houses, you have in essence lost the game

and are nothing more than a buffalo being milked.

My first week in Thailand, an old seasoned expat

told me to never believe a single word a Thai

girl tells you, and you will have the time of your

life. He was exactly right, and I indeed had the time

of my life for 14 years.. :-)

Maybe the phrase "Trust, but verify" could've provided you with even a better time.

naaa... he got it right first time

Some things on first hearing seem totally incredulous but then turn out to be true.