Sounds like a lot of grumpy farangs should just shut themselves up in their house and mumble in the dark and eat alone. Seriously, what were you thinking, coming to a culture where eating (among other things) is SO social? And yes, I know he's talking about eating with farang friends, but guess what--social eating is a great thing, to most normal humans, and it's infectious.

why not just go to a buffet with your thai friends...everyone then pays the same whatever they order and eat

I hate having to share. They order a bunch of weird crap and I order something I like. Then they proceed to eat all of mine.

Why not eat alone?

Do they accompany you by force?

Actually you are quite right, I stopped doing this when ever I can avoid it. If I am accompanied I will normally suggest something that doesn't involve this style of eating as well. If I eat at home it is pretty much understood if my guests are Thai (or in my case many times they are Lao) they will be eating there own food and I will be eating something else. If they want some of what I am having it can be ordered but they aren't getting what I order for myself. It is really not a big problem for me.

Normally when I offer food from my personal stash they aren't interested in it anyway. I rarely eat Asian food but it is annoying when I am in the rare position of finding myself in this position.

I am not sure why people are so strongly opinionated about what I choose to eat or how I do it. I have spent a lot of time in Asia in general and they have their customs and I have mine. Thais do all manner of things that don't fit in with my western customs and normally I don't stop them except when they are literally taking food out of my mouth.

Edited May 26, 201610 yr by anotheruser

How do they know they're not supposed to share your dish? Do you make a little speech about how you're ordering this and nobody else is allowed any?

How do they know they're not supposed to share your dish? Do you make a little speech about how you're ordering this and nobody else is allowed any?

Well for the people I live with they know what I eat and don't well enough that they make me my own little portions of what they know I eat or I have my own. I don't eat their snails and they don't eat my steak or pasta. Normally they will tell people that come over how it works and it is respected. I also live much of the time in a remote area so if they do eat my food it is hard to replace.

You don't see me in the fridge eating their Pa Dek this is called common courtesy.

How do they know they're not supposed to share your dish? Do you make a little speech about how you're ordering this and nobody else is allowed any?

Maybe he should leave an umbrella on the table to indicate its his, I believe in BKK this is an accepted protocol ?

and it's infectious.

Possibly if everyone is sticking dirty and contaminated utensils in each others food while sharing

How do they know they're not supposed to share your dish? Do you make a little speech about how you're ordering this and nobody else is allowed any?

Maybe he should leave an umbrella on the table to indicate its his, I believe in BKK this is an accepted protocol ?

I'm not sure that would help claim a specific dish. I guess maybe one of those little cocktail ones?

Incidentally, nice back reference to a thread at least a year before you supposedly joined. What was your old username?

Incidentally, nice back reference to a thread at least a year before you supposedly joined. What was your old username?

I don't have an old user name, Just because I haven't long joined TV, doesn't mean I haven't read posts on TV over many years as a guest, you do know you can read the posts and threads on TV without actually joining or participating don't you ?

I'm pescetarian and hate it too. Usually there's a self-appointed "leader" who starts ordering and I don't want most of their food but they'll eat from mine. Often they're also quite forceful in insisting there's enough, and that we can always order more later. No thanks, I want my food now, and not having to wait another half hour after predictably getting only half a dish.

Incidentally, nice back reference to a thread at least a year before you supposedly joined. What was your old username?

I don't have an old user name, Just because I haven't long joined TV, doesn't mean I haven't read posts on TV over many years as a guest, you do know you can read the posts and threads on TV without actually joining or participating don't you ?

Yeah, sure. We're all buying that.

Incidentally, nice back reference to a thread at least a year before you supposedly joined. What was your old username?

I don't have an old user name, Just because I haven't long joined TV, doesn't mean I haven't read posts on TV over many years as a guest, you do know you can read the posts and threads on TV without actually joining or participating don't you ?

Yeah, sure. We're all buying that.

Who is we ?....buy what ever you want, share it if you wish

Anyways...the answer is no.

It is not congenial nor respectful, to be paying the bill, but having others control the food.

With my wife, it is fine...as she knows what I can and will not eat.

Strangers act like they never ate Som Tom before. They order the same thing every single time.

When I go out, I am hungry like everyone else. Nobody cares if I cannot eat their food...they push the krap in front of me and then take what I ordered. Now I just sneeze on it. lol.

I wouldn't live somewhere where I didn't like the food. Food is too important to happiness, and sharing it is a basic social bonding experience that for some reason many westerners have forgotten.

Sounds like a lot of grumpy farangs should just shut themselves up in their house and mumble in the dark and eat alone. Seriously, what were you thinking, coming to a culture where eating (among other things) is SO social? And yes, I know he's talking about eating with farang friends, but guess what--social eating is a great thing, to most normal humans, and it's infectious.

Oh really seems many of us are abnormal then, thanks for letting us know we aint "run of the mill"

I wouldn't live somewhere where I didn't like the food. Food is too important to happiness, and sharing it is a basic social bonding experience that for some reason many westerners have forgotten.

Not everyone is obsessed with food though or bonding.

Food to me is really nothing at all.

The longer I live here and read threads like this th more I wonder how many foreigners really understand they are not in their home country or culture?

They come here. Tell the Thai's if you want to talk to me use the international language. I do not like Thai food or customs so learn mine so I am in charge and comfortable.

Sure is a lot of selfcentered men out there i am finding here on TV.

How can a person remain in a place where going out to eat with others is problematic. Seems a lot here do not get much pleasure in being in Thailand. So why do they stay?

Are people so lonely they go to eat with others just to not be alone,even if they donot enjoy the experience.

A lot of what I would consider odd situations. I would think people eat with friends or family. Not a very good relationship if a person cannot sit down and eat with friends and family and enjoy with out putting limitations on it by selfish behaviorial problems.

Hey look, we're human beings.

Personally I like some things about Thai culture and detest other parts.

I feel the same way about the culture of my home country!

The stories here of foreigners regularly paying large bills for meals and leaving hungry ... they sound to me to be very sad situations of foreigners being ABUSED by Thais and taken for fools whose only value is seen as their ATM card and who would be booted to the curb the moment the ATM said no. I won't say that's part of Thai culture. Maybe others would. Those specific Thai people sound like Thais to AVOID. Yes, I reckon that's happened to most of us. Live and learn but if you take it again and again I'd say the foreigner is a participant in his own abuse.

Edited May 27, 201610 yr by Jingthing

It's never happened to me.

Sure, if you deliberately hang out with people that are interested in you for your money, then they'll probably take you for what you can get. But don't expect any sympathy - you ought to have seen it coming.

I wouldn't live somewhere where I didn't like the food. Food is too important to happiness, and sharing it is a basic social bonding experience that for some reason many westerners have forgotten.

Not everyone is obsessed with food though or bonding.

Food to me is really nothing at all.

If you associate with Thais, you're a duck out of water. Just sayin'....

The longer I live here and read threads like this th more I wonder how many foreigners really understand they are not in their home country or culture?

They come here. Tell the Thai's if you want to talk to me use the international language. I do not like Thai food or customs so learn mine so I am in charge and comfortable.

Sure is a lot of selfcentered men out there i am finding here on TV.

How can a person remain in a place where going out to eat with others is problematic. Seems a lot here do not get much pleasure in being in Thailand. So why do they stay?

Are people so lonely they go to eat with others just to not be alone,even if they donot enjoy the experience.

A lot of what I would consider odd situations. I would think people eat with friends or family. Not a very good relationship if a person cannot sit down and eat with friends and family and enjoy with out putting limitations on it by selfish behaviorial problems.

Well youd have to understand some people dont follow the norm, dont drink, dont smoke, dont have any/many friends and dont have any family, also maybe they dont want friends maybe they came to Thailand to be alone?

It takes all sorts.

Jesus. What do you do all day?

The longer I live here and read threads like this th more I wonder how many foreigners really understand they are not in their home country or culture?

They come here. Tell the Thai's if you want to talk to me use the international language. I do not like Thai food or customs so learn mine so I am in charge and comfortable.

Sure is a lot of selfcentered men out there i am finding here on TV.

How can a person remain in a place where going out to eat with others is problematic. Seems a lot here do not get much pleasure in being in Thailand. So why do they stay?

Are people so lonely they go to eat with others just to not be alone,even if they donot enjoy the experience.

A lot of what I would consider odd situations. I would think people eat with friends or family. Not a very good relationship if a person cannot sit down and eat with friends and family and enjoy with out putting limitations on it by selfish behaviorial problems.

Well youd have to understand some people dont follow the norm, dont drink, dont smoke, dont have any/many friends and dont have any family, also maybe they dont want friends maybe they came to Thailand to be alone?

It takes all sorts.

I can relate to those people you mention quite well.I am one of those. But to people who do go out and then complain it is not like their great homeland seem to be out of touch as to where they are.

I can understand, that when people order things you not like, that then you want to order your own food and enjoy at least your own food.

But I ask myself what a kind of friend this are? I myself like to share, even when I not eat everything... I not like seafood too much... my friends know this and they always also order many non seafood dishes. So for me is more the question, why your friends not take little bit care of what you like to eat?

Or could it be, that they are not really friends? Only my thinking when I read this.... Anyway in many restaurants in the Malls it is normal, that everybody order their own food... the sharing mostly only works if you eat thai food...

I never had a problem nor any of my farang friends who come visit... I think it all depends on respect

It took me a while but I think I finally understand the problem here.

Thai's never take food from some ones plate they share common plates.What I understand here is a foreigner orders one dish he wants for himself and does not wish to share. Others do not know this so they share it. Foreigner insulted. If the food was on the foreigners own plate no one would touch it of course.

Simple solution.At the table everyone is served their own plate to eat from this is private no one else eats or takes food from it.When a foreigner wants to eat a specific dish only,upon having it brought to the table simply transfer all the contents of the common plate to the foreigners plate. It will look very selfish but the foreigner gets to eat the one item he wants with out worry.of others eating it. If he leaves the food on the common plate others will see it as common and eat from it.

Edited June 1, 201610 yr by lovelomsak

Should have said comments were made by expats.

Ah. Expats. That explains it.

Just ignore them. It's a cultural thing like having to find a table and chairs in order to eat and needing a sit-down toilet for a #2 with a roll of paper to smear remainders. Not our concern.

I'm so glad my biggest concern living here is crossing the street...

Jesus. What do you do all day?

Oh Ive got plenty to do, the days arent long enough............

I'm so glad my biggest concern living here is crossing the street...

You be careful there are far bigger streets in America