Dowries and "presents"

[fivevenoms]

This question is fairly similar to some others I have read, but the circumstances are (of course) different.  I am heading in July to meet my fiance's surviving parent-her mother, and to go forth (a little timidly) with the surrounding ceremony of marrying a Thai in Thailand, parties and family awaiting me, no doubt-Interestingly though, my fiance informed me that it is normal for me to offer her mother a "present" when marrying her daughter, but her mother has said she doesn't want anything from me.  Which is nice, and a stark contradiction to some of the posts I have read, but I still think something to offer her Mom would be a good gesture.  They are a middle-class family in Bangkok, with family and in-laws all knit together as usual, and we are a fairly young couple in our late 20s of modest means-in fact, my fiance makes more money than I do.  We don't intend to live in Thailand, and will be returning to the US afterwards.  But since I have decided to meet her family and formalize things as best I was able, I was wondering if anyone had some idea regarding the dowry I am evidently not required to give?  What would be nice in lieu of it?  Should I bring one anyways?

Hoping some of you more knowledgeable residents can give me some insight.....thanks.

[pnustedt]

I would suggest a nice piece of jewellery for mum-in-law - a good gold bracelet perhaps. She will be proud of her daughter and will want something to demonstrate to her contemporaries and a talking point of how well she has done!

Another thing which will make her proud is a donation to her local buddhist temple - perhaps pay for an extension or something that is required - I'm sure your fiance could find out. This would lead to a procession to the temple and a great celebration which will make mum-in-law very happy.

Good luck and enjoy the celebrations!

[LordHawHaw]

A strong second to all of Pnustedt's suggestions, if I may.

The more you know about mom, the easier will be your choice of gift, so tell daughter you want to do something that mom will like.  That should lead to a win-win solution.