Disrespect me or not ?

wildewillie89 · December 23, 2016

8 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I think forming real, genuine friendships that last years and not one hour gives me a better insight into how Thai women are (all being different).

That sentence proves you are not answering the OP and are off topic. This thread isn't about "short time". It is about someone having a long term relationship with a girl that might or probably goes with men for money.

The going with men for money is irrelevant to the discussion, as it is possible to have a real relationship with someone whatever they do for a living.

By focusing on the money aspect, you are talking about something completely different from what the OP was asking about

BTW, of course it's a Thai related subject. There is no equivalent of the Thai bargirl phenomenon anywhere else in the world.

Wasnt the sentence in a quote that was a reply to another persons comment? Not the OP? So the quote is actually on topic to what the guy was saying. If I wanted to reply specifically to the OP when i wouldnt have quoted another persons response.

As for the 'prostitution' aspect...again it was a quote on a topic that he brought up. There is absolutely no use being relevant to the OP as it is such a useless conversation. Better to have it loosely form the basis of a new topic lol.

wildewillie89 · December 23, 2016

18 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

I am not trying to talk about all Thai Women. I and talking about every person in this world.

Just because the guy down the street hauls garbage for a ,living it doesn't mean he wants to be treated by you like the rubbish he is hauling, based only on that you got a higher education than him. I can speak for every sex, skin color, age, and religion that all people like to be treated with respect. Personality has nothing to do with that. That is a fact son!

Yes I said Bar Girl several times when talking about them to you. But I don't call them that to there face. Or Prostitute! Or even Working Girl! I call them by there first name and like all other people liked to be called by. Doesn't "Hey Tom" sound better then "Hey You...Garbage Man"?

I am sure your Thai Friends like to be treated with respect also. I have no doubt about that. If it is you who is not treating them this way then it is you who needs to do a self examination, and not them.

So wait...you just assumed I go up to women and say 'bar girl' to their faces? How could you even come up with that assumption? What evidence do you have to suggest I do that from what I have written? And if you dont have evidence then why did you even bring the point of terminology up?

Ah so it's not that you know all 'Thai' girls now, it is that you you think every person deserves respect? That is a little more understandable. However, if someone puts themselves in positions where people disrespect them and continuously do this (OP said he has known her for a while), then doenst it reach a point where it is his own stupidity if he gets hurt?

wildewillie89 · December 23, 2016

8 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Westerners that denigrate Thai bargirls have no clue. They equate Thai bargirls as being the same as western prostitutes that will have a shag or a BJ in a car or behind a dumpster because they are druggies or suchlike.

Thai bargirls are more like ordinary girls that want to party and go out with men to have sex because, surprise, surprise, surprise, they enjoy sex. Of course, the money is why they are working in a bar in a tourist area, as if they didn't need money they would be having it off with Thai men.

Many farangs have long term Thai bargirl friends that stay with them every time they visitThailand. It's only if the farang is stupid enough to believe that she wouldn't go with other men when he isn't in Thailand that the situation can get tense.

Past research from Thai Ministry of Public Health and other related studies have found that up to 75% of Thai men have engaged in sex with prostitutes. How can you make the claim that if 'sex workers' didnt need the money they would be having it off with Thai men? They are already having it off with Thai men on a more regular basis than with Western men, for guess what, money! A tiny percentage of women would be enjoying the actual sex (as some go into the profession due to their love of sex). However, you cant sit here and seriously say that a 20 year old girl is loving being in bed with a a guy 3 times her age and 4 times her weight. As for the substance abuse, isnt it just at a different time of the spectrum? Western illegal sex workers I think are already abusers before going into the work...and Thai are either similar or become abusers (probably due to their actual lack of enjoyment in the bedroom so need something to get through it. Whatever the substance is i dont think is relevant. Substance abuse is abuse regardless.

The ordinary girls who want to go out and party with men are exactly that. They will go out, party, have sex...but not have any financial element attached to it. They are called 'party girls' not 'bar girls'. You have believed a little too much BS i think lol

In terms of the broader discussion, which isnt relevant to the OP, so I dont know why you stopped to tell me that when youre not in any direction towards relevance yourself lol. Yes, economic reasons are factors as to why girls go into the profession. However, didnt the interview with the EMPOWER organisation in Thai show the girls cant even save their money due to using it for shopping? So it is incredibly complex. Earning better money but spending it...or earning less money and not spending it. What is the real motivation? Not enough research has be done I dont think to answer the question.

GOLDBUGGY · December 23, 2016

10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't see it like that. I see it as when he is not there she goes with other men, and that is understood by him. I assume she is a bar girl.

That's not an unusual situation. It's only when the farang is stupid enough to be giving over the readies so that his BG GF doesn't have to "go with man" when he is not around, that it gets to be a fraught situation.

Assuming she is a Bar Girl, this would be a very unusual situation! Why would you say this? Bases only on your lack of knowledge?

GOLDBUGGY · December 23, 2016

10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I disagree. Sure, there are some that do it because they are desperate, but they don't do well on the game. The ones I have met over the many years I have visited LOS like the lifestyle. Many rural girls want to live in the city with the bright lights etc, and for a girl with no education to speak of working in a bar provides them with friends, the party lifestyle and more money than they could ever earn planting rice.

Of course, for the average westerner, indoctrinated with PC propaganda from birth, it is difficult to comprehend that many bargirls like the lifestyle, or that when they get bored or over that phase of their life, they move on to other things. I never met one that considered it as a "career" choice.

In my experience, it's only westerners that consider sex to be sinful or degrading.

Good Points!

But I never claimed that the Farm Girls don't like the Life Style and earning Bigger Money. In fact I tried to say the opposite by explaining Factory Work compared to Bar Girls Work.

But it is not easy money or because they are lazy. Unless of course you can convince the rest of us that a 23 Year Old Bar Girl prefers to sleep with and have sex with a 60 year old man. Good Luck on that one!

GOLDBUGGY · December 23, 2016

10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

But they sacrifice their reputation and social standing when they do so. To them, for whatever reason it's a price worth paying. They usually have very little respect for themselves

I fundamentally disagree with that. The ones I have known have as much respect for themselves as any people I know back home that have never been near a barbeer in their life. They also have no problem going home to their families or the village.

and even less for their punters.

I agree that they have little respect for men that feel obliged to act like free ATMs. Can't buy love.

They change there clothes and go home on the bus like everyone else. They don't act or behave different in front of there Parents or in the Village. They don't talk about how she earns her living. So I guess this is a form of hiding, although most parents probably know.

Disrespectful towards Men? How so? I doubt they would last long in this business in Thailand if they were. Many get married to customers. But they do look at this as a job and not sex for love. Who would? I mean if you only had sex with the customers you fell into love with, how many would you have?

GOLDBUGGY · December 23, 2016

2 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

So wait...you just assumed I go up to women and say 'bar girl' to their faces? How could you even come up with that assumption? What evidence do you have to suggest I do that from what I have written? And if you dont have evidence then why did you even bring the point of terminology up?

Ah so it's not that you know all 'Thai' girls now, it is that you you think every person deserves respect? That is a little more understandable. However, if someone puts themselves in positions where people disrespect them and continuously do this (OP said he has known her for a while), then doenst it reach a point where it is his own stupidity if he gets hurt?

No! Actually I didn't make any assumptions about you. I certainly didn't think you would go up to a Working Girl and call her a Bar Girl, as I feel you never actually even met one in you life to say that to. So why would I think this now?

If someone puts themselves in a position to be disrespected, then it is them who has to live with that. You are not some High Judge Above High that can put such a tag on a Human Being! The Good Book says: "Judge and be Judged!' In another example" "Who can cast the first stone?".

So it is not for you to decide who can say what here. Or the Op shouldn't post here. This is up to the Moderators! For the other things you said this has to go to a much higher level. But I do know that it is certainly not up to you to judge other people. I know you will say you never said that or did that, so I will save you the trouble.

Yes You Did!

wildewillie89 · December 23, 2016

2 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

No! Actually I didn't make any assumptions about you. I certainly didn't think you would go up to a Working Girl and call her a Bar Girl, as I feel you never actually even met one in you life to say that to. So why would I think this now?

If someone puts themselves in a position to be disrespected, then it is them who has to live with that. You are not some High Judge Above High that can put such a tag on a Human Being! The Good Book says: "Judge and be Judged!' In another example" "Who can cast the first stone?".

So it is not for you to decide who can say what here. Or the Op shouldn't post here. This is up to the Moderators! For the other things you said this has to go to a much higher level. But I do know that it is certainly not up to you to judge other people. I know you will say you never said that or did that, so I will save you the trouble.

Yes You Did!

If you didnt make any assumptions then why did you bring up the whole calling a 'bar girl' to her face thing, it had no relevance to the conversation. Wait, didnt you judge me on using the language 'bar girl', even though you used it yourself...and now youre giving me a lecture on not judging people lol. I am 100% judging the OP. Why would i refuse to accept that? It is a stupid situation that he gets himself into...so instead of complaining about it either talk to the person or post it on a relationship forum as it has no relevance in a Thai forum. As for the moderators, apparently youre not allowed to comment on them so i will not haha

kevozman1 · December 23, 2016

What do you want from this woman? If you just want to bang her sometimes on holiday then do not worry. If you are starting to fall for her then I would worry. Move on.

thaibeachlovers · December 24, 2016

On 12/23/2016 at 8:26 PM, wildewillie89 said:

Past research from Thai Ministry of Public Health and other related studies have found that up to 75% of Thai men have engaged in sex with prostitutes. How can you make the claim that if 'sex workers' didnt need the money they would be having it off with Thai men? They are already having it off with Thai men on a more regular basis than with Western men, for guess what, money! A tiny percentage of women would be enjoying the actual sex (as some go into the profession due to their love of sex). However, you cant sit here and seriously say that a 20 year old girl is loving being in bed with a a guy 3 times her age and 4 times her weight. As for the substance abuse, isnt it just at a different time of the spectrum? Western illegal sex workers I think are already abusers before going into the work...and Thai are either similar or become abusers (probably due to their actual lack of enjoyment in the bedroom so need something to get through it. Whatever the substance is i dont think is relevant. Substance abuse is abuse regardless.

The ordinary girls who want to go out and party with men are exactly that. They will go out, party, have sex...but not have any financial element attached to it. They are called 'party girls' not 'bar girls'. You have believed a little too much BS i think lol

In terms of the broader discussion, which isnt relevant to the OP, so I dont know why you stopped to tell me that when youre not in any direction towards relevance yourself lol. Yes, economic reasons are factors as to why girls go into the profession. However, didnt the interview with the EMPOWER organisation in Thai show the girls cant even save their money due to using it for shopping? So it is incredibly complex. Earning better money but spending it...or earning less money and not spending it. What is the real motivation? Not enough research has be done I dont think to answer the question.

I said if Thai girls didn't need the money they would be having it off with Thai men for free. The number of prostitutes in Thailand is not great in comparison to those that are not.

However, you cant sit here and seriously say that a 20 year old girl is loving being in bed with a a guy 3 times her age and 4 times her weight.

Depends on the guy, as always. I'm sure there are hundreds of youngish girls willing to jump into bed with Mick Jagger. I know he isn't fat, but you get my point.

Thai are either similar or become abusers (probably due to their actual lack of enjoyment in the bedroom so need something to get through it.

If you can't come up with a stat on that, you are wrong. I don't believe for a second that drug abuse is rampant in those precincts. Also, they don't drink more alcohol than anyone else.

You come across as one that gets his info from Empower, and I don't give that organisation any credit at all when it comes to the propaganda they put out to get donations.

If the girls don't save, that is down to them. Most BGs would sent money home to their family, and to pay for their children being looked after by their mother.

A tiny percentage of women would be enjoying the actual sex

Based on what? I doubt you know any real BGs. Unlike many posters on here I have actually met Thai BGs to talk to.

jbeans · December 24, 2016

I have been in a similar situation before. I have a casual partner who I adore but I will not commit to an exclusive relationship with her because she's too much of a butterfly.

We were having lunch the next morning and I see her giggling quietly as she is texting. It was obvious she was texting a guy. I said to her "are you texting a guy?" she smiled and nodded. And I told her "look, I know we are not boyfriend and girlfriend but when we are with each other we should still respect each other" she put the phone away. I recommend doing the same, telling her that you are not boyfriend and girlfriend but should still respect each other

wildewillie89 · December 24, 2016

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I said if Thai girls didn't need the money they would be having it off with Thai men for free. The number of prostitutes in Thailand is not great in comparison to those that are not.

However, you cant sit here and seriously say that a 20 year old girl is loving being in bed with a a guy 3 times her age and 4 times her weight.

Depends on the guy, as always. I'm sure there are hundreds of youngish girls willing to jump into bed with Mick Jagger. I know he isn't fat, but you get my point.

Thai are either similar or become abusers (probably due to their actual lack of enjoyment in the bedroom so need something to get through it.

If you can't come up with a stat on that, you are wrong. I don't believe for a second that drug abuse is rampant in those precincts. Also, they don't drink more alcohol than anyone else.

You come across as one that gets his info from Empower, and I don't give that organisation any credit at all when it comes to the propaganda they put out to get donations.

If the girls don't save, that is down to them. Most BGs would sent money home to their family, and to pay for their children being looked after by their mother.

A tiny percentage of women would be enjoying the actual sex

Based on what? I doubt you know any real BGs. Unlike many posters on here I have actually met Thai BGs to talk to.

But would they? You keep asking me for research which i generally give you. I gave you the research from the Thai Ministry of Public Health regarding Thai men, so please kindly return the favour and give the research to support your moronic claim.

Mick Jagger is a celebrity...are you seriously suggesting the celebrity element isnt a factor. That a 20 year old pretty Thai girl will so happily sleep with a 60 year old who she has no idea who he is. I dont even know any 20 year olds that would sleep with Jagger for that matter. I am sure you have the research on it.

As mentioned earlier not a whole lot of research in Thai other than from NGOs on the matter (which amazingly you refute) . Other, more developed countries, generally it is a 55% substance abuse problem before going into the profession with another 30% increase once in the profession (NIH, 2012). 8 out of 10 girls in a developed country....so in an undeveloped country that does have problem with drugs, well im sure you can do the math and get back to me...as for the alcohol, the country is a Buddhist country. Most women i know will drink once or twice a year and in that sitting will have one drink or not drink at all. So drinking 5 or 6 every night is substance abuse by definition (thats before we even hit the hard hitting drugs).

So you dispute the only organisation that actually does any research as it doesnt fit in with what you believe. Well done. So the interviews done with bar girls in an actual study doesnt count as evidence, but you talking to bar girls does. You dont think they would have just said anything to you to get a few baht? And you believed every word they said by the sounds of it lol.

Do you just try and fool yourself that these girls actually enjoy being with you because they tell you they do? That they aren't substance abusers? If you believe that does it make it better than you sleeping with the 'street prostitute' back home? That is what it is seeming like right now. Yes, I am sure many dont want to do the job, I have met through friends some girls who found husbands to escape it. But look at the work, it is based around a substance abuse environment most of the time. That is why they are wrongly looked down on by fellow country people the same way similar girls are wrongfully looked down on by society in other countries.

Edited December 24, 2016 by wildewillie89

pumpjack · December 24, 2016

its getting boring now

Rc2702 · December 24, 2016

5 minutes ago, pumpjack said:

its getting boring now

So what are your thoughts PJ? Celebrating Christmas with her or moving on?

jeab1980 · December 24, 2016

47 minutes ago, pumpjack said:

Getting boring now

5possible it got boring and oh so verly conscience able after First post. Lets ask Why there are girls working in sexy trade. Easy beacuse farang come and want sex and pay well. No sex tourusts no WorKing girls well very few compare to now. So is it farang disrespecting girls. Wonder if they pay at home?

Come here pay for sex then call girls all sorts of names beacuse they suddenly get a concsieNce.

Or girl has been intelIgent enough to make sure she get as much out of man as possiBle

Edited December 24, 2016 by jeab1980

thaibeachlovers · December 24, 2016

8 hours ago, jbeans said:

I have been in a similar situation before. I have a casual partner who I adore but I will not commit to an exclusive relationship with her because she's too much of a butterfly.

We were having lunch the next morning and I see her giggling quietly as she is texting. It was obvious she was texting a guy. I said to her "are you texting a guy?" she smiled and nodded. And I told her "look, I know we are not boyfriend and girlfriend but when we are with each other we should still respect each other" she put the phone away. I recommend doing the same, telling her that you are not boyfriend and girlfriend but should still respect each other

LOL. I was once at the beach with one that wanted me to explain the letter her "farang boyfriend" had sent her. I did so, but told her not to ask again as it was rude seeing as she was with me at the time.

thaibeachlovers · December 24, 2016

7 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

But would they? You keep asking me for research which i generally give you. I gave you the research from the Thai Ministry of Public Health regarding Thai men, so please kindly return the favour and give the research to support your moronic claim.

Mick Jagger is a celebrity...are you seriously suggesting the celebrity element isnt a factor. That a 20 year old pretty Thai girl will so happily sleep with a 60 year old who she has no idea who he is. I dont even know any 20 year olds that would sleep with Jagger for that matter. I am sure you have the research on it.

As mentioned earlier not a whole lot of research in Thai other than from NGOs on the matter (which amazingly you refute) . Other, more developed countries, generally it is a 55% substance abuse problem before going into the profession with another 30% increase once in the profession (NIH, 2012). 8 out of 10 girls in a developed country....so in an undeveloped country that does have problem with drugs, well im sure you can do the math and get back to me...as for the alcohol, the country is a Buddhist country. Most women i know will drink once or twice a year and in that sitting will have one drink or not drink at all. So drinking 5 or 6 every night is substance abuse by definition (thats before we even hit the hard hitting drugs).

So you dispute the only organisation that actually does any research as it doesnt fit in with what you believe. Well done. So the interviews done with bar girls in an actual study doesnt count as evidence, but you talking to bar girls does. You dont think they would have just said anything to you to get a few baht? And you believed every word they said by the sounds of it lol.

Do you just try and fool yourself that these girls actually enjoy being with you because they tell you they do? That they aren't substance abusers? If you believe that does it make it better than you sleeping with the 'street prostitute' back home? That is what it is seeming like right now. Yes, I am sure many dont want to do the job, I have met through friends some girls who found husbands to escape it. But look at the work, it is based around a substance abuse environment most of the time. That is why they are wrongly looked down on by fellow country people the same way similar girls are wrongfully looked down on by society in other countries.

Research from Min. Health only gives you stats, but it doesn't say anything about Thai girls giving it away for free with their Thai "boyfriends".

Re women and old unattractive men. Check out U Tube for VDOs of beautiful women and their very ugly and fat "boyfriends". definitely not "love" and not one a celebrity.

BTW, any farang with a full wallet is a "celebrity" to a poor girl from the sticks.

Of course a 20 year old pretty Thai girl will so happily sleep with a 60 year old who she has no idea who he is if he has the readies. 60 isn't even old these days. My wife's cousin married a 70 year old, and I'm sure she wasn't covering her eyes when they did it.

Certainly I don't believe they are all substance abusers. You write as one that knows nothing about bargirls except what you read. Try meeting some of them and getting to know them well enough for them to tell you their story. None of the ones I knew drank excessively, or took illegal drugs.

Of course some do, just like in any strata of society. Some are really messed up, but no study has found that just being a bar girl CAUSES them to get messed up. Most would be messed up before working in the bars or would have got messed up anyway.

That is why they are wrongly looked down on by fellow country people

Of all the BS stories out there, that, IMO, is the greatest of BS stories. I never met one that wasn't welcome to go home and live their life.

Do you just try and fool yourself that these girls actually enjoy being with you because they tell you they do? That they aren't substance abusers?

Apart from the fact you know nothing about me and are not in a position to judge me, no I didn't fool myself about anything, and yes, some did, but they didn't tell me that for the years we were going out together- it was obvious. If they didn't enjoy themselves, they wouldn't have been around longer than a day.

No, they were not substance abusers. i'd have picked that up after a week if they were.

Always take anything from an NGO with a very large pinch and preferably a whole container of salt. They depend on the propaganda they put out to keep themselves in the lifestyle to which they aspire, as they rely on donations for their income. No one is going to give Empower money if they were saying all the girls are really happy, but give us money anyway. Of course they will claim all the girls hate their life and are messed up druggies. That's how they get ~~suckers~~ people to donate money.

Which is why one should go and meet some real bargirls. It's OK, it's not compulsory to have sex with them.

Saastrajaa · December 24, 2016

30 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Always take anything from an NGO with a very large pinch and preferably a whole container of salt. They depend on the propaganda they put out to keep themselves in the lifestyle to which they aspire, as they rely on donations for their income. No one is going to give Empower money if they were saying all the girls are really happy, but give us money anyway. Of course they will claim all the girls hate their life and are messed up druggies. That's how they get ~~suckers~~ people to donate money.

Which is why one should go and meet some real bargirls. It's OK, it's not compulsory to have sex with them.

What is this thing you seem to have against Empower?

Do you even have any idea what the organization Empower is, what they do, and what their collective take on sex workers is? They are an organization that helps give sex workers the tools (better command of English and Japanese, knowledge about dangers of disease, etc.) to do their jobs more safely and more efficiently, and to effectively plan for the future. I was a volunteer tutor with them for a year, and I know the founder/director quite well. I think you're confusing Empower with one of those many born-again Christian "rescue" organizations that tries to get sex workers to quit doing what they're doing (and gets rich off their donations from moralizing white women). Nothing could be further from the truth.

Edited December 24, 2016 by Saastrajaa

wildewillie89 · December 25, 2016

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Research from Min. Health only gives you stats, but it doesn't say anything about Thai girls giving it away for free with their Thai "boyfriends".

Re women and old unattractive men. Check out U Tube for VDOs of beautiful women and their very ugly and fat "boyfriends". definitely not "love" and not one a celebrity.

BTW, any farang with a full wallet is a "celebrity" to a poor girl from the sticks.

Of course a 20 year old pretty Thai girl will so happily sleep with a 60 year old who she has no idea who he is if he has the readies. 60 isn't even old these days. My wife's cousin married a 70 year old, and I'm sure she wasn't covering her eyes when they did it.

Certainly I don't believe they are all substance abusers. You write as one that knows nothing about bargirls except what you read. Try meeting some of them and getting to know them well enough for them to tell you their story. None of the ones I knew drank excessively, or took illegal drugs.

Of course some do, just like in any strata of society. Some are really messed up, but no study has found that just being a bar girl CAUSES them to get messed up. Most would be messed up before working in the bars or would have got messed up anyway.

That is why they are wrongly looked down on by fellow country people

Of all the BS stories out there, that, IMO, is the greatest of BS stories. I never met one that wasn't welcome to go home and live their life.

Do you just try and fool yourself that these girls actually enjoy being with you because they tell you they do? That they aren't substance abusers?

Apart from the fact you know nothing about me and are not in a position to judge me, no I didn't fool myself about anything, and yes, some did, but they didn't tell me that for the years we were going out together- it was obvious. If they didn't enjoy themselves, they wouldn't have been around longer than a day.

No, they were not substance abusers. i'd have picked that up after a week if they were.

Always take anything from an NGO with a very large pinch and preferably a whole container of salt. They depend on the propaganda they put out to keep themselves in the lifestyle to which they aspire, as they rely on donations for their income. No one is going to give Empower money if they were saying all the girls are really happy, but give us money anyway. Of course they will claim all the girls hate their life and are messed up druggies. That's how they get ~~suckers~~ people to donate money.

Which is why one should go and meet some real bargirls. It's OK, it's not compulsory to have sex with them.

I think the study I showed you where 30% of girls in the job identified the job as making them take drugs. You know the old so common story of the innocent girl moving to the city, living an incredibly physically demanding job of having to stay up, work, drink, no rest...she wonders how people do it. That's where drugs come into it. Like i said, if 8 out of 10 girls in the most developed countries in the world do it that have the services to help, then clearly you would just believe anything the handful of bar girls you have met would tell you.

Isn't that my point, and you just proved my point. That they do it for one reason and one reason only, for money. Not that they all 'enjoy' sex so much that they will do an old guy like you originally claimed. And please dont suggest that 'YouTube' videos are any sort of credible research. Or by 'readies' do you seriously mean motivation to have sex, not money. If that's is your true belief you have spent too many years in the bar scene. You do know they say the same things to the fattest, rudest and ugliest of men as they say to you dont you. It is the definition of their job. They dont actually enjoy or believe it.

So what you are saying is that girls happily go back to their village and are happy to talk about their work? That is just not true. Everyone in the village knows they are a prostitute, however, the girl and her family are deeply embarrassed by it so spin a story they sell jewelry in Patayya. And then people wonder how they could fix their house so much on the 300 baht a day from a normal sales job lol. A family down the road from me is exactly like that. The whole village knew she was a prostitute, but when the Australian payer visits he spins the story she sold watches. She spun a different story to the rest of the village. Please, be realistic.

Why do they stay around? Because clearly from your language you spend your life paying for them. As soon as that stops, do you think they will stay around? I guess it goes to that good vs bad. Moral vs immoral. And you believe the spin that they were 'enjoying' themselves lol. I can judge you all i like if what youre saying goes against studies that you refuse to acknowledge, but believe a YouTube video someone made or a story a substance abuser told you.

Edited December 25, 2016 by wildewillie89

jeab1980 · December 25, 2016

This supposed to be topic about did lady disrespected boyfriend now it'sabout how you all know how all bar girls minds work and what they thinking. Sure man who posts this said she Not a bar girl.

people in glass house should not throw stones so tthat's90%of you posters

jeab1980 · December 25, 2016

14 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

rrassedhink the study I showed you where 30 % of girls in the job identified the job as making them take drugs. You know the old so common story of the innocent girl moving to the city, living an incredibly physically demanding job of having to stay up, work, drink, no rest...she wonders how people do it. That's where drugs come into it. Like i said, if 8 out of 10 girls in the most developed countries in the world do it that have the services to help, then clearly you would just believe anything the handful of bar girls you have met would tell you.

Isn't that my point, and you just proved my point. That they do it for one reason and one reason only, for money. Not that they all 'enjoy' sex so much that they will do an old guy like you originally claimed. And please dont suggest that 'YouTube' videos are any sort of credible research. Or by 'readies' do you seriously mean motivation to have sex, not money. If that's is your true belief you have spent too many years in the bar scene. You do know they say the same things to the fattest, rudest and ugliest of men as they say to you dont you. It is the definition of their job. They dont actually enjoy or believe it.

So what you are saying is that girls happily go back to their village and are happy to talk about their work? That is just not true. Everyone in the village knows they are a prostitute, however, the girl and her family are deeply embarrassed by it so spin a story they sell jewelry in Patayya. And then people wonder how they could fix their house so much on the 300 baht a day from a normal sales job lol. A family down the road from me is exactly like that. The whole village knew she was a prostitute, but when the Australian payer visits he spins the story she sold watches. She spun a different story to the rest of the village. Please, be realistic.

Why do they stay around? Because clearly from your language you spend your life paying for them. As soon as that stops, do you think they will stay around? I guess it goes to that good vs bad. Moral vs immoral. And you believe the spin that they were 'enjoying' themselves lol. I can judge you all i like if what youre saying goes against studies that you refuse to acknowledge, but believe a YouTube video someone made or a story a substance abuser told you.

You are very wrong families are not embaRast at all. Where you hear that??

Mook23 · December 25, 2016

On 14-12-2016 at 9:52 PM, Berkshire said:

5555555555...this is classic. Farangs on TV are always criticizing the Thais about "face." Well here we have a farang who starts a thread about losing face. So it does matter afterall.

another classic is "she's free to do what she wants except if i don't like it" lol.

kudos also @i'm not a jealous guy. lol.

wildewillie89 · December 25, 2016

1 hour ago, jeab1980 said:

You are very wrong families are not embaRast at all. Where you hear that??

So what you are saying is that a 'prostitute' is happy to go back home and happily talk about her job to the rest of the family/village she grew up in? Or her family is happy to strike up a conversation with the neighbours about her daughters work? I wish I could agree, the day that happens the day the world is a better and more accepting place, but it just isn't the case. It isn't even the case in more open Western countries, it is definitely not the case in a closed off traditional country. Most people in villages still look down on many girls for having tattoos or short skirts even (as said earlier, I wish it wasn't the case, but the reality of it is the case).

Just because girls will openly admit they're prostitutes to paying customers or to the girls they hang around with at work (also prostitutes), doesn't mean that honesty translates to going back to the communities they grew up in. It is usually 'i sell watches' or 'i work as a cashier' etc etc. Admitting their real job to one close person, which naturally goes around the village within an hour.

theguyfromanotherforum · December 25, 2016

11 hours ago, pumpjack said:

its getting boring now

You know what's boring? Your post.

It seems like you need to lessons in English and read up on what respect means.

I am not going to bash a girl here or assume she is a freelancer, bargirl or a career woman.

The point is YOU didn't earn any respect by being in an open relationship.

She is obviously not showing you any respect because guess what.....you didn't earn any.

Now, her behaving like a trash in front of you comes up like a surprise?

I don't think you are either right or wrong here.... it is just what it is. A stupid relationship (which you admitted in the opening post) and now you are whining and crying about being respected.

ROFL

thaibeachlovers · December 25, 2016

4 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

I think the study I showed you where 30% of girls in the job identified the job as making them take drugs. You know the old so common story of the innocent girl moving to the city, living an incredibly physically demanding job of having to stay up, work, drink, no rest...she wonders how people do it. That's where drugs come into it. Like i said, if 8 out of 10 girls in the most developed countries in the world do it that have the services to help, then clearly you would just believe anything the handful of bar girls you have met would tell you.

Isn't that my point, and you just proved my point. That they do it for one reason and one reason only, for money. Not that they all 'enjoy' sex so much that they will do an old guy like you originally claimed. And please dont suggest that 'YouTube' videos are any sort of credible research. Or by 'readies' do you seriously mean motivation to have sex, not money. If that's is your true belief you have spent too many years in the bar scene. You do know they say the same things to the fattest, rudest and ugliest of men as they say to you dont you. It is the definition of their job. They dont actually enjoy or believe it.

So what you are saying is that girls happily go back to their village and are happy to talk about their work? That is just not true. Everyone in the village knows they are a prostitute, however, the girl and her family are deeply embarrassed by it so spin a story they sell jewelry in Patayya. And then people wonder how they could fix their house so much on the 300 baht a day from a normal sales job lol. A family down the road from me is exactly like that. The whole village knew she was a prostitute, but when the Australian payer visits he spins the story she sold watches. She spun a different story to the rest of the village. Please, be realistic.

Why do they stay around? Because clearly from your language you spend your life paying for them. As soon as that stops, do you think they will stay around? I guess it goes to that good vs bad. Moral vs immoral. And you believe the spin that they were 'enjoying' themselves lol. I can judge you all i like if what youre saying goes against studies that you refuse to acknowledge, but believe a YouTube video someone made or a story a substance abuser told you.

I don't agree about the drugs at all. Some do, just like those not working bars, but it's not universal.

living an incredibly physically demanding job of having to stay up, work, drink, no rest...she wonders how people do it.

Sorry, but you obviously have no idea as to a bargirl's lifestyle.

Readies= money

they dont actually enjoy or believe it.

You know that how? You obviously don't know any bargirls

Yes, they do it for money, but that doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable while doing it. You seem to equate older age with being unattractive- that is ageist.

Everyone knows older guys make better lovers that young guys, because young guys think only of themselves.

Because clearly from your language you spend your life paying for them.

Single or married, I pay and pay and pay.

Seriously, marriage cost me more than when I was single and I had less "fun" to go with it.

Edited December 25, 2016 by thaibeachlovers

jeab1980 · December 25, 2016

2 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

Stalk about sex with niegbourstat yededre saying is that a 'prostitute' is happy to go back home and happily talk about her job tobet rest of the family/village she grew up in? Or her family is happy to strike alk about fat farang who paid them to have boom boom (not sext conversation with the neighbours about her daughters work? I wish I could agree, the day that happens the day the world is a better and more accepting place, but it just isn't the case. It isn't even the case in more open Western countries, it is definitely not the case in a closed off traditional country. Most people in villages still look down on many girls for having tattoos or short skirts even (as said earlier, I wish it wasn't the case, but the reality of it is the case).

Just because girls will openly admit they're prostitutes to paying customers or to the girls they hang around with at work (also prostitutes), doesn't mean that honesty translates to going back to the communities they grew up in. It is usually 'i sell watches' or 'i work as a cashier' etc etc. Admitting their real job to one close person, which naturally goes around the village within an hour.

Now you being silly do you go back to your home and tell everyone you paid for sex? Or tell your next neibour you had big poo yesterday. Dont be silly girls who work in bar are not shunned or thought any less of at home. We know at least 6 in village no one call she names or not talk to she. When they come home they are welcomed by friends and family. They dont Come home and tell people about fat farang thry Slept with or how much same as you dont . Your genralizations that most people in village look down on girls is very very wrong and if that happens in your village shame on them must be a very his village (not).

thaibeachlovers · December 25, 2016

4 hours ago, Saastrajaa said:

What is this thing you seem to have against Empower?

Do you even have any idea what the organization Empower is, what they do, and what their collective take on sex workers is? They are an organization that helps give sex workers the tools (better command of English and Japanese, knowledge about dangers of disease, etc.) to do their jobs more safely and more efficiently, and to effectively plan for the future. I was a volunteer tutor with them for a year, and I know the founder/director quite well. I think you're confusing Empower with one of those many born-again Christian "rescue" organizations that tries to get sex workers to quit doing what they're doing (and gets rich off their donations from moralizing white women). Nothing could be further from the truth.

I have nothing against Empower per se, and of course I know what they do. Have done so for many, many years.

The ladies I have known had nothing to do with them though, as they were quite happy doing what they were doing, and had no desire to get involved with any NGO. They all seemed quite intelligent, switched on women, and didn't need "advice".

wildewillie89 · December 25, 2016

1 minute ago, jeab1980 said:

Now you being silly do you go back to your home and tell everyone you paid for sex? Or tell your next neibour you had big poo yesterday. Dont be silly girls who work in bar are not shunned or thought any less of at home. We know at least 6 in village no one call she names or not talk to she. When they come home they are welcomed by friends and family. They dont Come home and tell people about fat farang thry Slept with or how much same as you dont . Your genralizations that most people in village look down on girls is very very wrong and if that happens in your village shame on them must be a very his village (not).

Just look at social media in Thailand...what stories go around on Thai facebook pages? Usually stories about bar girls being 'second class citizens'. Like i said, the day that changes I will be happy as the world has taken a step in the right direction. But dont give me this crap that when they come back to the village they are welcomed like when another girl comes back when university is on holidays. It is just not the case. The girl is gossiped about non- stop by the village.

paulsingle · December 25, 2016

This thread has predictably turned into a critique of "bar girls". I have a feeling that some of the critics have very little experience with "bar girls".

For 2 years now I have not availed myself of the services of these girls but over 14 years of annual fortnight holidays I have spent varying amounts of time (and money) with quite a number of them. Every year I would find a companion for the larger part of my stay in Phuket. There were also the nights in Bangkok on the way in and on the way out of Thailand.

With only 2 exceptions out of dozens of girls they were all respectful. I found them all to be good company and the affection from some of them was undeniable.

All chose of their own free will to do what they were doing but some had more financial pressure to do it than others. I think very few of them would have taken this path without the financial incentive it offered.

The 2 exceptions were a freelance girl who robbed me and a bar girl who got a better offer after I had paid her bar fine.

I respect the girls and they have reciprocated that respect.

jeab1980 · December 25, 2016

39 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

Just look at social media in Thailand...what stories go around on Thai facebook pages? Usually stories about bar girls being 'second class citizens'. Like i said, the day that changes I will be happy as the world has taken a step in the right direction. But dont give me this crap that when they come back to the village they are welcomed like when another girl comes back when university is on holidays. It is just not the case. The girl is gossiped about non- stop by the village.

Not going to argue with you you are wrong but if you want to belive what you say up to you.

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