Age Gaps In Relationships

[LaReina]

A more interesting scenario:

Mr. A is fat and ugly and super rich (so nobody tells him he is ugly). He can buy whatever you like for you and you know you will never lack any material things if you stay with him. But he is fat and ugly, and he will want to have sex with you.

Mr. B is young and handsome, but not rich. You know you will have to help out with making money if you choose him, because he can not offer you a future of secure finances.

Neither of them has a serious alcohol or drug problem, and neither is the violent type. Both are nice to you.

Who do you choose?

Meadish S. I would have to choose Mr. B. Besides being health conscious and thus wanting Mr. A to change, I think deep down I would be worried about what our offspring would look like. Mr. A will lack energy and stamina to do the things that I enjoy doing, and might squash me in bed!

Easy - the one you love.

Brit that is not so easy. You still have to fall in love with one of them. The question then becomes, which of the two can you stay in their presence long enough so as to be able to fall in love with them. Surely there has to be some physical attraction first..

Past that point?? Well perhaps not - prob best time raise a child, financially secure and have time on your hands if you are retired that is.

Is that really the BEST time to have a child? As an adult you might think what is more convenient for you, but what of the child? IS it really in their best interest NOT to have a parent that can play outdoor games with? Take them hiking, camping, play tennis with them, attend all school functions, and most importantly, be there in their lives when they are turning into adults and might really want the advice of their father? For some, the memories we have growing up and doing things with our parents are some of our most cherished memories. Who really wants to say “My dad was too old to do things with me”.

[svenivan]

Nobody has pointed out the obvious, If a man who lets say 45 years old goes his whole life in another country without finding love, or failing at past relationships, then, how is it possible to find "true love" after spending a month in Thailand?

This story comes up time and time again from members convinced that something amazing resides in this country that allows them to find the most perfect girls in amazing amounts of time, it's simply wishful thinking IMO. The amazing part comes in the form of folding dollar bills.

Then we have tropo's way of thinking... Try to convince members that he has found true love on one hand, then go on to say that women over about 40 go downhill like a pile of bricks. This explains true motivations, which from my point of view are pure physical attraction/lust.

Do I agree with that? well, I think it's sick to be quite frank, as other posters have pointed out. The maturity of Thai women at an age far less than their farang counterparts. IMO a 19 year old Thai girl acts like a 14 year old farang girl... hel_l even the Thais know that, anyone under the age of 20 is considered a child.

Another one that knows everything! How long have you been her and how old are you? Maybe you are not even in Thailand!

And every Thaiwoman are the same! Everyone is a child and behave like a child when they are under 21.

Where are you from? US ?

Well then every yankee is fat and stupid and smells sh!t! How I know? Yes, I met one yankee one time and he was fat stupid and smelled sh!t! So then every yankee must be the same!

:D

[tropo]

Asian girls are no where near as concerned about their partner's looks as Western girls. They're not even close.

It amazes me that people keep on believing this. Go into any Thai teenagers bedroom and look at the posters on the wall. Do you think you might see attractive local or Western music/movie stars or a poster of a fat, 60-year old farang?

Colonel, I was stating degrees, not absolutes.

Read it again. I said "no where near as" and I believe that is a very true statement...It doesn't imply that they are not concerned, just not as...

Another point you missed was the use of the word "Asian", and not the word "Thai". There are differences amongst different Asians regarding attitude toward relationships.

There are many religions amongst the Asian poplulation, each bringing with it a different attitude in a partnership.

Just some obvious ones in terms of the majority of the populations:

Filipinos = Christian

Thai = Buddhism

Malaysian/Indonesia = Muslim

Chinese = Taoism

and many Atheists in China and Japan.

Edited December 16, 2006 by tropo

[Chuck_Norris]

Don't anger Chuck.

Do I really need to bring up your post where you mention your young gf being shunned by her freinds, peers, and work mates then you going on to say that its great in Asia becasue you are so accepted?

Good work buddy, gold star for you

[Jared]

Mate im 24 and Ive had girlfriends for as long as I can remember. I was with the same girl from 14 to 18, being young had several other women during that time. Had a few more year or so long relationships up until 21, also living with a few of these women, Some younger most older. Id say im a good looking young lad Ive never had a problem picking up beautiful white women. My first trip to thailand consisted of picking up hot scandinavian or Australian women, didnt go near one Thai girl. It wasnt until I came here with a group of older lads all over 40 that I discovered Thai women and I say it was a treat for the Thai women to have a younger man.

Anyway I certainly didnt come to Thailand to marry as ive spent the last 3 years being single at university and enjoying every minute of it. Also spending every long summer holiday in Thailand enjoying myself. No one in my family or friends can believe im married or have a kid coz Ive never been interested in having children or a serious relationship. I was normally getting stick of everyone for being such a scum bag to women. But i meet my wife and everything changed, you cant help the way you feel about someone and you could be dead tommorrow. Lifes to short. Plus whilst all my mates are back home in the uk in the shitty weather working trade jobs going out at the weekend and trying to pull over weight dogs with serious attitude problems, im living in a beautiful hot country working only a few hours aday and raising my son. On top of that saving a nice lump of money which i would never be able to save in the UK.

As long as you can remember eh? You seem a bit young for Alzheimers but hel_l what do I know about these things?

Scum bag you were? So you came to Thailand where people don't see you as you are. There's a saying regarding leopards and spots, the exact details escape me at the moment but it is early morning.

Nope no Alzheimers but I have a had girlfriends from a very young age all the way through school. Even had girlfriends during infant school and when I was in junior school my gf was 3 years older. When I was in secondary school 11 or 12 I was knobing the 16 year old baby sitter. I was regarding to being called a scum bag during my 3 years of univeristy and coming to thailand where I wouldnt give any commitment to females. Oviously the Thai ones I didnt have to but the ones at university thought that if I slept with them they would automatically be my girlfriend. One girl I was sleeping with had a 21st birthday party and introduced me to her dad as her boyfriend, that was the end of that one. Either way Im happily married and in love and Its not a matter of changing my spots I never loved any of these women so why should I commit to them and once again I dont believe 24 is to young for a family. How old were your parents when they married?

Edited December 16, 2006 by Jared

[Chuck_Norris]

What the hel_l.. I can't resist.

BUT, then we had to confront the outside world. Her friends couldn't belive she lived with this very old guy, 36 years old, and with two children!!!

And my friends, especially the wifes of my friends, they never accepted her. They did not even want to talk to her. They did not want to learn to know her.

Fortunately here in Asia people don't care about these "agegaps" that much. They are accepted, as are the ladyboys, as are gay people.

Lets make that 2 gold stars... now what were you muttering about again?

[tropo]

Then we have tropo's way of thinking... Try to convince members that he has found true love on one hand, then go on to say that women over about 40 go downhill like a pile of bricks. This explains true motivations, which from my point of view are pure physical attraction/lust.

Chuckie, you are jumping to conclusions here. I don't post to convince you or anyone else of anything, I merely use my own relationship as an example of how large age-gaps can work...and that is what everyone does on here.

The dumping bit you totally misunderstood as you've missed the context of those replies. They were tongue in cheek comments directed at people who are convinced that all large age-gap relationships are business propositions undertaken by mentally ill people (ie. pedophiles).

If that is the case, the exchange for a new model is totally acceptable as it's all business...right?

[Colonel_Mustard]

Asian girls are no where near as concerned about their partner's looks as Western girls. They're not even close.

It amazes me that people keep on believing this. Go into any Thai teenagers bedroom and look at the posters on the wall. Do you think you might see attractive local or Western music/movie stars or a poster of a fat, 60-year old farang?

Colonel, I was stating degrees, not absolutes.

Read it again. I said "no where near as" and I believe that is a very true statement...It doesn't imply that they are not concerned, just not as...

Another point you missed was the use of the word "Asian", and not the word "Thai". There are differences amongst different Asians regarding attitude toward relationships.

There are many religions amongst the Asian poplulation, each bringing with it a different attitude in a partnership.

Just some obvious ones in terms of the majority of the populations:

Filipinos = Christian

Thai = Buddhism

Malaysian = Muslim

Chinese = Taoism

including a lot of Atheism in China and Japan.

OK, I think you'll find that women in Asia still would generally prefer a younger, physically more attractive partner regardless of nationality or religion. However, it does seem that Asian women from poorer backgrounds are more prepared to overlook the physical aspect in favour of practical gains.

Mixed Western/Asian relationships in wealthier Asian countries don't seem to have such marked age differences.

[Don Quixote]

My girl was supporting her whole family at age 14....no shit! A family of 8...a very poor family. She built them a house (nothing flash) before she turned 15.

This is the reason that she is willing to sacrafice her childhood to live with you. She is from a very poor background and you are seen as a way out of it.

If she was from a comfortable background and the family had no money issues then my guess is that you would not have got a second look.

Keep on telling us how handsom and in shape you are and you might start to believe it yourself though i doubt the girl your with does.

[Chuck_Norris]

Then we have tropo's way of thinking... Try to convince members that he has found true love on one hand, then go on to say that women over about 40 go downhill like a pile of bricks. This explains true motivations, which from my point of view are pure physical attraction/lust.

Chuckie, you are jumping to conclusions here. I don't post to convince you or anyone else of anything, I merely use my own relationship as an example of how large age-gaps can work...and that is what everyone does on here.

Your relationship is not what I would consider success, your gf is a kid, you're old enough to be her grandfather.

You are the reason why Thailand has the reputation it does... shame.

[Donz]

Everyone knows the real answer to this.

But people will always go for much younger because money has alot of power.

[Grover]

If she was from a comfortable background and the family had no money issues then my guess is that you would not have got a second look.

Thats my guess too. I doubt it is because of his charming personality.

Keep on telling us how handsom and in shape you are and you might start to believe it yourself though i doubt the girl your with does.

agreed.

sounds insecure.

[Chuck_Norris]

Everyone knows the real answer to this.

But people will always go for much younger because money has alot of power.

Exactly, there are a handful of members defending their position in this, they know it's wrong... will they ever admit that? no way, becasue people don't like to be wrong, especially if it involves something that gives them pleasure at night.

The words I would use to describe these people would get me banned, Ill hold my tounge, as I have a feeling that many members know exactly what I'm talking about.

[GracelessFawn]

Everyone knows the real answer to this.

But people will always go for much younger because money has alot of power.

Jesus, Donz! Are you even reading my posts?

[buriramboy]

one thing that is continually making me laugh in this thread, is when people keep going on about the maturity of Thai girls in the 18-21 age range, now i have lived in Thailand for about 7 years and can only compare to the uk, but lets consider an average 19 year old uk girl on a saturday night (how i remember them anyway). Will go out get blind drunk , to the point of making total tits of themselves, probably throwing up (how ladylike and mature) and on top of that end up going home with some bloke and not even remembering in the morning if she has had sex or not. Now i may be wrong, but in my time here, i have not seen 18-21 year old Thai girls showing this level of "maturity".

BB

[Don Quixote]

A filipino tradition? Really?

Asian traditions and customs are not the same as the West, and the sooner people

start respecting that, the better for all concerned.

The fact that GracelessFawn is Filipino would give her a distinct advantage over yourself in understanding filipino culture.

[Donz]

Everyone knows the real answer to this.

But people will always go for much younger because money has alot of power.

Jesus, Donz! Are you even reading my posts?

Nope, did you read mine??

[LaReina]

if the age gap is not so important and im not arguing that it is or isnt.

im only offering this observation and maybe someone can provide me with a sensible answer.

why is it that in our own country we dont see older men with younger women.?

when i say younger i mean much younger like we see in thailand.

you will see that sometimes but it is not the general rule of thumb and is very unusual.

any body care to give it a crack.?

Terry, quite possibly because women tend to look a heck of a lot older than they really are. While here a 40 yr old can still look like a 20 yr old.

I think the age gap exists more than people realize and not just among celebrities. Then again, younger women may enjoy dating older guys, but then when it comes time to marriage, they think long term as in who will be around when I am old and grey.

I think the age gap is not the issue, that most people have. The age at when the gap occurs, is where people find fault. In instances where the either the female or the male is still considered by most to be a “child”, then eyebrows are raised.

Most girls find older man attractive. But in the west, depending on how young the female is, the older man is expected to draw the line.

At this point how does society/ neighbors (mainly women due to the maternal instinct) view the older man? Will they see him and think… possible pedophile/predator? I do not want my teenage daughter over at their house? Will they see only the physical attraction and assume there can be no mental attraction?

Besides I think women and men define a “child” differently. For a man a child is anything below the age of consent.

That's not true. Asian girls are no where near as concerned about their partner's looks as Western girls. They're not even close. If you fail in the West, hit the East because you're almost assured of success.

You forget that a lot of us guys are in the East expressly because we have passed our use-by-date in the West. A lot have been through marriages and come out at that other end too old to start again in the West.

Nothing personal, but if that was the case, why would they have a word for handsome and pretty? You kid yourself.

Asia as a whole in some instances, appears to be obsessed with beauty (but then again, what culture is not?) as viewed by how westerners look. They have nose jobs, they change their eyelids, they have boob jobs, have you seen the women undergarments that have butt padding?? In the malls!!!!

Lets not forget having ones legs broken and adding pins to stretch the limbs to make a person taller.

You forget, in the west you can be ugly and poor still be considered to have potential and be able to find a partner.

Why would you even consider yourself too-old to start again in the West? Unless your body is falling apart, age is a mental thing, and if you consider yourself to old for the west, then surely you are too old for anywhere. Unless of course what you really mean to say is that you can no longer snag a 20 something year old AND marry her without her friends and family sabotaging the relationship.

[Little Black Duck]

I find it amazing that the ones complaining loudest and longest are the younger members

who seem to be of the opinion that the only way an Older Man can get a Younger Woman is by paying for her..

That's not only incorrect its down right insulting..Pity I wont be around when you are over 55..

[svenivan]

What the hel_l.. I can't resist.

BUT, then we had to confront the outside world. Her friends couldn't belive she lived with this very old guy, 36 years old, and with two children!!!

And my friends, especially the wifes of my friends, they never accepted her. They did not even want to talk to her. They did not want to learn to know her.

Fortunately here in Asia people don't care about these "agegaps" that much. They are accepted, as are the ladyboys, as are gay people.

Lets make that 2 gold stars... now what were you muttering about again?

?????? 2 gold stars .... for what?

You must be one of these americans with a big fokking mouth and small ears! Never listen, just shouting.

Can not understand other peoples input, spoken or written!

And your idol is Chuck Norris! :D

How old are you? 16 ?

[Donz]

You also do some a few old western guys with young western girls too.

But the guy is usually loaded and ofcourse the lady 'usually' is in it for the money at first.

Its the same as Thailand. When you have money you have power.

I believe its just taking advantage.

But that just my opinion.

[Donz]

I find it amazing that the ones complaining loudest and longest are the younger members

who seem to be of the opinion that the only way an Older Man can get a Younger Woman is by paying for her..

That's not only incorrect its down right insulting..Pity I wont be around when you are over 55..

Its true in "most" cases. Ofcourse there are some real love around. But we are talking generally like everyone does on this forum.

[Don Quixote]

Old guys have things that young guys do not and can not have. Experience, wisdom, maturity, and more patience.

So therfore the young girls can not have these things either and if this is the case then how can a young girl make an informed, rational and mature decision to get involved with a guy old enough to be her grandfather?

[Simbo]

Some women are in it for financial reasons, and some actually love who they are with. Not a hard concept to the Cynics.

Yeah!

Some women prefer mature men because they are more understanding, patient and very sensitive towards our feelings (or mood changes).

I think most women would prefer their partner to be older,but not by much..ahem 30..40..50 years

[JacknDanny]

What the hel_l.. I can't resist.

BUT, then we had to confront the outside world. Her friends couldn't belive she lived with this very old guy, 36 years old, and with two children!!!

And my friends, especially the wifes of my friends, they never accepted her. They did not even want to talk to her. They did not want to learn to know her.

Fortunately here in Asia people don't care about these "agegaps" that much. They are accepted, as are the ladyboys, as are gay people.

Lets make that 2 gold stars... now what were you muttering about again?

?????? 2 gold stars .... for what?

You must be one of these americans with a big fokking mouth and small ears! Never listen, just shouting.

Can not understand other peoples input, spoken or written!

And your idol is Chuck Norris! :D

How old are you? 16 ?

I love this forum.....Passes away my Saturday afternoon

[Little Black Duck]

I find it amazing that the ones complaining loudest and longest are the younger members

who seem to be of the opinion that the only way an Older Man can get a Younger Woman is by paying for her..

That's not only incorrect its down right insulting..Pity I wont be around when you are over 55..

Its true in "most" cases. Ofcourse there are some real love around. But we are talking generally like everyone does on this forum.

Lord Donz..Thank you for satisfactorily clearing that up for me..

You just restored my faith in you..

[AlexLah]

I do not think there is a problem when there is a big age gap.

It all depends how well you "connect" with eachother, family and friends.

When I was 19 I fell in love with a lovely girl and the age diference was only 6 years (which I found out later). Yep she was 13 but looked and thinked very mature (western girl).

We discussed this issue with her and my family and my family told as long as you and she feel happy, it is OK.

Her family had a bit more problems with it but then her grandma intervened by telling she could see that my GF was feeling verry happy and they should not worrie too much.

OK blessings from family and friends and the relation lasted about 4 years.

4 years of happiness untill we both found it was time to move on. She was getting lots of attention of other guys and I was not getting the mental satisfaction as i was thinking on a whole different level aboutf life.

So we decided to split up, we are still good friends everytime we meet.

So I think that whenever you have a relation (with big age diff) you should be prepared that one day can be the last of your relation because of age or mental level difference.

So if you are near 50 and she is around 20 there is a big risk that someday you will split up and that risk is bigger when the age gap is bigger.

Just enjoy the time you have and be prepared to let go...

Alex

[buriramboy]

sleeping with a 13 year old girl when you were 19, now to me that is sick.

[terry57]

[Chuck on]

Nobody has pointed out the obvious, If a man who lets say 45 years old goes his whole life in another country without finding love, or failing at past relationships, then, how is it possible to find "true love" after spending a month in Thailand?

This story comes up time and time again from members convinced that something amazing resides in this country that allows them to find the most perfect girls in amazing amounts of time, it's simply wishful thinking IMO. The amazing part comes in the form of folding dollar bills.

Then we have tropo's way of thinking... Try to convince members that he has found true love on one hand, then go on to say that women over about 40 go downhill like a pile of bricks. This explains true motivations, which from my point of view are pure physical attraction/lust.

Do I agree with that? well, I think it's sick to be quite frank, as other posters have pointed out. The maturity of Thai women at an age far less than their farang counterparts. IMO a 19 year old Thai girl acts like a 14 year old farang girl... hel_l even the Thais know that, anyone under the age of 20 is considered a child.

The impression people get of Thailand sex trade and child sex trade are becasue of people like this, I don't know why many people defend that.. its hardly a good thing.

[/Chuck off]

thats a cracking post chuck and well done.

cheers

[Chuck_Norris]

What the hel_l.. I can't resist.

BUT, then we had to confront the outside world. Her friends couldn't belive she lived with this very old guy, 36 years old, and with two children!!!

And my friends, especially the wifes of my friends, they never accepted her. They did not even want to talk to her. They did not want to learn to know her.

Fortunately here in Asia people don't care about these "agegaps" that much. They are accepted, as are the ladyboys, as are gay people.

Lets make that 2 gold stars... now what were you muttering about again?

?????? 2 gold stars .... for what?

You must be one of these americans with a big fokking mouth and small ears! Never listen, just shouting.

Can not understand other peoples input, spoken or written!

And your idol is Chuck Norris! :D

How old are you? 16 ?

You still can't see that you managed to totally contradict yourself in a single post?

Three gold stars, for not being able to understand your own posts "spoken or written".

EDIT.. Chuck norris is not an idol.. he's a GOD.

Edited December 16, 2006 by Chuck_Norris