Worst Date

[donna]

after reading a post on another forum about worst (or funniest) dates youve been on, i though i might ask you ladies what is the worst date youve been on.

im not a serial dater, not been on millions of dates, but one does come to mind.

it was new years eve goodness knows how many years ago. myself and a bunch of girlfriends thought we would hit a small country town for a few days and have a fun NYE. and that we did. popping berocca before, during and after the nights activities, i dont know if we woke up drunk or sober, but we had a great time.

i do remember midnight, where i jumped on this big burly country man, smacked him on the lips, god his phone number, and that was that.

a week or so later, i got the phone call. he sounded ok, so we decided we would go out for dinner. he came to pick me up, and we went to a local chinese restaurant. in the middle of the dinner, this bloke pulls out a pocket knife and says 'why dont they give you knives in these places - my mouth isnt big enough to fit this in'. yes, he cut up his little pieces of chinese food with his pocket knife and continued to eat as if it was something he did every day!

i nearly died of embarrasment.

when it came to pay the bill, it came to, lets say, $33. he said that i should pay the $18 and he pay the $15 because i had more drinks than he did!

never did see him again. i wonder what hes doing now....................

[BambinA]

Oh P' Donna .. your experience is really..........speechless..

I don't have the worst date yet...

But i have a story for sharing ..It's not exactly a date.

I went to USA with my ex BF and his friend (They are Swiss) last Oct. We went to the concert at Hollywood Bowl (Roger Waters)

The weather was really cold (the concert started at ~ 6.30-7 pm). Everything was nice at first .. i was really tired and suffered from jetlag ..I started napping on my ex bf's shoulder ( he got a bit upset with 150-200 USD$ that he paid for my ticket ..ei ei )

The story started when it was the last 30 mins of the show.. the yank girl who sat in front of us danced as if she would die in next day .. and her silly dancing made people who sat behide her were not able to see the show ..

my ex bf and his friend were really mad and they tried to tell her and her gangster for behaving

Being a yank .. they did not care somebody on my row pushed her shoulder...I woke up again before things were getting worst .. I told my ex and his friend to calm down ...

It was so -called my worst date... they could fight !!

Edited December 14, 2006 by BambinA

[leisurely]

Mine was while in the pictures (on the first date) my partner gave me a box and ureged me to open it. Contained within was somo gorgeous red nylon underwear needless to say he didn't make it into my heart

[girlx]

my worst date ever was my fault. i was in high school, and i was so ridiculously shy... somehow i ended up going out with this really popular senior guy- i was so intimidated by him i didn't utter a single peep all night. he dropped me off with a look of disgust and never talked to me again after that.

[LaReina]

Worst was a blind date.

My date spent the better part of the evening talking about his ex-wife and how the two of us were from the same town. Wow, what a coincidence and all I could think was, point taken, move on which we did.

Moved on to how smart is Akita dog was. How he came home from work one day and found his dog on the couch watching TV with a bag of chips torn open and a beer in between his paws. I swear that is what the man said.

He then went on to tell me how he had once spent the night in jail after being arrested for being drunk, stripping and getting into a fountain in a hotel.

Needless to say, he never got my number.

[donna]

what a bore.

come on ladies, there simply MUST be more stories.

[LaReina]

you want more dirt?? how about the weirdest guy you ever dated? Or better yet 2 of the weirdest guys you ever dated?

[sbk]

I am afraid my worst date ever was not only my fault but a cliche

Went out drinking with friends, met a cute guy and during the course of the evening threw up right in front of him.

What made him the weirdest guy I ever went out with as well as worst date was he asked me out again, even after making a spectacle of myself.

[Boo]

sbk that is hysterical. OK, you shouldn't have got wasted & puke but you have to question what kind of man finds that attractive

[Boo]

worst date, met a guy throgh my sisters old work place. We got chatting at a work party & he seemed nice, arranged a date & during the course of it, he informed me of his 7 (yes you read right) 7 kids with 4 different women!! Worse was he proceeded to give me a run down of the relationships he had with the different mothere & how he decided to pay support depending on how bad or good the relationship deteriorated

Needless to say he wasn't my Mr Right but he did call me for days after to ask why we weren't going out again!!

[Douggie Style]

Is this ladies only?

If not, just suspend my cyber genitalia for a second:

There are two equally as bad;

The first, a nice friendly lady about 19 ( I was 24), used to visit the tenant who rented the front of the shop. One day she asked me to drive her to her apprenticeship awards ceremony (she had no car), being flattered I agreed.

At the ceremony she was met by another female friend, they hastily got drunk and made very vulgar sexual comments about all the fellow male apprentices, while I was sandwiched in between them. It was pretty gross, worse than guys. This didn’t really upset me but certainly lowered my opinion of them.

A few days later she rang and said she would cook me a dinner for taking her and friend home. Didn’t think that much of it, just a friendly dinner for the ride. Arriving late, in work clothes, dropped into the closest wine cellar, picked up a bottle of the cheapest $4.99 sparkling spumante and in a flash of inspiration asked the checkout guy to relabel it with $15.99, to which he agreed with a laugh.

Arriving at the front door, I was met by both parents and the ‘date’ all dolled up, who were introduced as an accountant and lawyer. Being taken aback I said a big hi and handed the wine to the date, we walked inside to where a round table (she was an apprentice chef) had been set, full service, all hose knifes and forks, with some romantic candles.

At this point she said proudly ‘look Douggie’s bought a bottle’, opened the wine and gave a glass each to her parents saying, ‘my Dad is quite a wine buff’. He swilled it around, looked a bit constipated then said ‘mmmmm, interesting’..

They left, making a point of saying we are going out late, and we sat down to the meal. It began with heaped plates of fresh oysters then whole blue swimmer crabs, whole crayfish, salads, vegetables deserts, it was magnificently arranged with little carrot and vegetable sculptures, each dish surpassing the previous. She told me how long each dish had taken to prepare and that the ingredients alone had cost $70.

By this time I felt like a right mug but did my best to appreciate the effort and compliment each dish.

Anyway, the hints started with it’s ok to crash here, my parents are cool, their naturists!

She then broke out Dad’s good wine, with the huge meal, after dinner port etc made us both unsteady. She started to tell me about her karate lessons and how she could disable a man with one blow, I laughed. She snapped of a demo punch which fair square landed on the sugar plums. She apologised profusely, maintaining it didn’t hurt took some effort.

I decided to kip on the floor, after some hours of listening to her speaking about her love of naturism and other increasingly broad hints, I passed out only to be woken by her rumbling unholy snoring. About 5am I just couldn’t bear it any more and sneaked out, for some reason feeling quite guilty.

[Soph]

I met a guy who worked in a club in Stoke, I was pretty out of it at the time and thought this guy was cool (rubbing shoulders with some big UK dj's that I was into at the time) I got his number and we arranged to meet up in a town half way between his home and mine, so I had to drive there to meet him.

Arrived in the pub and saw the guy looking a little bit different from how he looked in the club. Dressed in full Goth getup and make up not really my style (platform boots, long leather jacket and black eye liner dont really do it for me)

Sat down for a drink (couldnt even drink because I was driving) and he proceeded to tell me about his self harming, suicidal tendancies and previous heavy drug addiction and depression.

Needless to say I soon made my excuses and left. Drove out of the town and my god ###### car broke down in the middle of no-where. Couldnt get through to any friends or family to come and help, so then was left with the only choice to ring freak boy to come and give me a hand, aaaggghhhh!!

Best thing was, he turned up to the rescue in one of those little Cinquetento cars, it was <deleted> hilarious.

Luckily he got my car sorted (it was something really simple apparently) and I burnt rubber to get out of there and home.

Was bombarded with calls and texts for a few weeks after, and luckily I then grew out of that club scene so never had to go back there again.

Oh the fun of being single

[Patsycat]

I made the little "bat my eyelids" mistake of giving a guy the wrong number (this is before the invent of mobiles) and felt great cos' i thought i would never see him again,

Lo and behold, i went to the "in disco" at the time with a friend and there he was - and he called me all the names under the sun and said he was going to get me barred etc. Unfortunately for him I knew not only the barman, the bouncer but the owner of said nightclub, so he was escorted off the premises pronto.

Sorry, that was a sort of "second" date story.

[farangsay]

OK first I ain't no lady but a previous poster has broken the ice on that one.

Second the date was not "worst" or even "bad" it just involved the scariest

moment in my life (then or since).

The girl in question was living on campus in a girls' college run by nuns.

For background they had a very strict "no guys in the dorms nightime"

rule. A girl had been caught and expelled the previuos week.

Saturday night they had a "bop" , band and bar and a great time had

by all.

To cut a long story short I wake up at some time in the small hours ,

in the girl's room and busting for a pee. Now if I had two functioning

brain cells at this time I might have stayed below the radar by peeing

in the sink. But no , I shuffle out the door , down the corridor and into

the toilet. I was just about to flush when I heard the click of heels outside.

PENGUIN PATROL !!!!

I froze (figuratively at first and afterwards literally - it was wintertime

and toilets are not heated).

I must have waited in there for two hours before I dared venture out.

Actually one of the gods must have been watching over me that night

because if I had woken up two seconds earlier I would have flushed

the toilet and walked straight out into the nun's path.

The fact that I was stark naked would not have helped the situation.

[bkkmadness]

The fact that I was stark naked would not have helped the situation.

You never know, Nuns have needs as well.

[Casanundra]

About 5 years ago I met what I thought was going to be a sexy type latino dancer on one of those internet come blind dates in London.

As she rounded the corner I could not help but notice that she had two very hairy and bushy caterpillar eyebrows, a left eye that would have made mad eye moody proud and much to her credit continually revolved around in her head without causing her too much discomfort. She was also wearing in a pair of dentures for some race horse as well and had I been Harry Potter or had some sugar lumps and an apple in my pocket then it probably wouldn't have been too bad.

Anyway, as I didn't have any paper bags with me to put over her head, I had no option but to dart into the toilets near Horse guards parade on some feined 'i am about to be sick' excuse, and to then climbing out of the window at the back and to doing a furlong or two across Saint James Park and back around to Westminster before she realised that I had indeed done a runner...

The question of course is, was it a bad date for me, or was it a bad date for her

I am not proud of what I did that day but I most certainly learnt a very important lesson about Internet dating I can tell you.

[davidjtayler]

Many years ago on the sleepy island of Koh Tao I proceeded to take a young Swiss girl on a first date and ended up sleeping at her bungalow.

The problems occured when I awoke early the next morning with bad stomach cramps ... unfortunately I was in a quandry as she had informed me the previous evening that her toilet (which was a squat) had problems and was temporarily without water.

I went out onto her balcony while she was still sleeping and waddled like a penguin forlornly and quietly, trying to hold back my natural motion, however the convulsions in my nether regions were too strong and I soiled myself.

In panic, as events were unfolding I ran to the defunct squat and let the rest of my motion complete its natural action ... the result was the foulest smelling and foulest looking mess that even had me gagging (and I used to work in a lab so was used to smells).

I now had soiled underwear and a hazardous washroom to be ammended.

I woke her up and quietly told her not to go into the washroom and then went to my bungalow ( which was a 5 minute drive away) and cleaned myself as well as disposing of my ruined underwear ... I then located the biggest plunger I could find, a big bottle of bleach and returned to clean the unfortunate incident.

No words were spoken and needless to say that was our first and last date ....

[sbk]

No words were spoken and needless to say that was our first and last date ....

Well, at least you cleaned up after yourself

[toptuan]

Yeah, mine was one of those throw-uppers too.

She looked so cute in a white dress and pink corsage. We went to a well-known dating place for high-schoolers in Seattle, "The Spaghetti Factory". Cheap and plentiful. After enjoying the plentiful, I then made the mistake of suggesting we go up to Seattle Center. She complicated the mistake by daring me to go on one of those amusement rides which manages to accomplish about 5 different motions at once.

After about 15 cycles of up-down-sideways-spin-etc., I only got half-way through an attempted "I think I'm gonna..." before I let loose my spaghetti-and-red-wine-&-sausage sauce which managed to hit her and every other rider on the contraption. Her little white dress looked like a work of modern art (heavy on the red hues). And corsages really don't look so hot either after a bombardment of sausage chunks.

I thought they'd never stop the thing, until a mangled noodle hit the operator squarely across the forehead. As I staggered away, my last memory was seeing them hose down the equipment out of the corner of my also-watering eyes.

Need I say, her first AND last date with me?

Edited December 19, 2006 by toptuan

[pumpuiman]

Had a date in high school with a girl I had been courting for months. I was so excited to finally be going out with her.

The plan was to go to the beach with some friends. All was going well and we were nearly there when we stopped for a rest room break.

As she walked back to my car....smiling and giving me come hither looks, a seagull flew over head and released a bomb that rivaled Hiroshima.

It looked as though someone had dumped a bucket of paint on top of her head. All of the group saw it happen, and as high school boys will do, some laughed hysterically.

She was mortified, screaming and crying her eyes out. No amount of assistance from me in the ensuing cleanup could calm her down. She insisted on being taken home immediately.

After the 2 hour ride back, I asked if I could take her out for dinner, to make up for the catastrophic episode. She agreed to see me the following night.

I took her to a trendy new place called the "Jail House". It was an old lock up converted to a restaurant, complete with cells and bars.

We walked in and were being shown to our "cell" by the hostess.

As we passed the crowded bar, a man carrying several drinks was making his way past us.

He hoisted the drinks above his head in an attempt to give us more room to pass.

As he did, the drinks caught on some bars over head........and the resulting deluge ended up on.......you guessed it, my date's head.

Drove her home in tears (again).

Never dated again.

[Bellatrix]

On my first date with this one particular boy, we went to a nice restaurant, and over dinner he proceeded to ask me whether I'd have an abortion if I got pregnant

[fruittbatt]

I was a particularly naive 18 year old, so when a truly ugly turkey farmer friend-of-a-friend kept asking for a date I eventually agreed to see a movie with him. My motive was probably the worst one anyone could dream up: I felt sorry for the guy because he was awkward. He also had a kind of transparent feral cunning, a big gnarly red nose and eyes of different colours.

When he picked me up, I kept detecting this strange odour from under the tonneau cover of his ute (ozzie for pick-up truck). Took me a while to realize that the smell came from turkey shit and fertilizer, and that he had not cleaned the vehicle before coming to the city for the date. I felt physically ill.

The movie was all about sex and revolution USA-style, this being the 1970's. I kept thinking how my date was probably blown away by radical events he could not possibly have envisioned back on the turkey farm. I kept wishing I was with someone who looked more like Che Guevara than the dork in black polished shoes and a tie who kept trying to slide his arm around me.

I refused invitations of late night drinks and coffees after the film, and psyched myself for the drive home in the evil-smelling farm vehicle. Blessed with a strong stomach, I managed not to throw up until after he had presented me with a gift of a dead turkey and attempted to kiss me goodnight...which I resisted with as much good grace as I could muster. I could not control the physical reaction as the stinky ute's tail-lights faded down the street. In a fit of bloody-mindedness I hurled the trussed turkey over the fence of the neighbour who had threatened to eat my rabbit if it munched on his lettuces again.

[MiG16]

no worse dates at this point...but can I report on my best date??

hmm actually perhaps this one counts as worst date? it wasnt worst in the sense that things went wrong during the date..infact was one of the best night i had......

guy cooks a meal that took 3 hours to prepare (not including the shopping time!) we sit down to another 3 hours talking over dinner...really talking....

then at the end of the evening its also the end of us...and no we didnt even argue....strange still havent figured that one out..dont think I ever will

not quite sure where to place this one....good or bad...hmmmm

the date itself was wonderful and lovely

[slackula]

Since dudes are posting, here's mine:

I managed to convince a girl I had had a crush on for months to go out with me on Valentine's. Things started out GREAT, empathy, laughing at my crappy jokes etc right up until I offered her a cigarette. She accepted it but when she leant forward to light it part of her beautiful hair fell forward and caught fire, she had put a lot of hairspray on so it went up like the towering inferno. I grabbed a napkin off the table and wrapped her in it to put the fire out but the mood was kinda spoiled.

I drove her home and we never spoke again

[Little Black Duck]

Since dudes are posting, here's mine:

I managed to convince a girl I had had a crush on for months to go out with me on Valentine's. Things started out GREAT, empathy, laughing at my crappy jokes etc right up until I offered her a cigarette. She accepted it but when she leant forward to light it part of her beautiful hair fell forward and caught fire, she had put a lot of hairspray on so it went up like the towering inferno. I grabbed a napkin off the table and wrapped her in it to put the fire out but the mood was kinda spoiled.

I drove her home and we never spoke again

Hey Slackie Old Son that could be called a Real Hairy Date !!!!

[davidjtayler]

Since dudes are posting, here's mine:

I managed to convince a girl I had had a crush on for months to go out with me on Valentine's. Things started out GREAT, empathy, laughing at my crappy jokes etc right up until I offered her a cigarette. She accepted it but when she leant forward to light it part of her beautiful hair fell forward and caught fire, she had put a lot of hairspray on so it went up like the towering inferno. I grabbed a napkin off the table and wrapped her in it to put the fire out but the mood was kinda spoiled.

I drove her home and we never spoke again

Hey Slackie Old Son that could be called a Real Hairy Date !!!!

or a real hot date ........

[julie_f]

Had some bad dates,

When I was only about 14 ish I went out to the cinema with a boy(same age) for our first date, He picked me up and i was mortified when he turned up in a suit and tie. I was wearing faded t shirt and baggy jeans. Not a good start. Don't think we went out again!

More recently met a soldier in a club and decided to go on a date. He was drop dead gorgeous 6 foot plus and muscles everywhere. Met him in a pub and realised he was with half of his squad. tried to make the best of it but couldn't get more than 2 or 3 words at a time out of him. Spoke to his friends more! We never went out again but he kept texting me for a while.

[November Rain]

julie f,

You talking of soldiers reminded me of my worst date. I grew up in a town with an army training base nearby & when I was 17 & 18, I used to frequent the one pub in town they could go to en masse without fights starting with the local lads. I used to date a few of these guys (not seriously) & one night I made a date with one of the NCO's that did the training. So, being stupid (or possibly drunk) I arranged the date in the very same pub that they all went to. So, I'm there with him, go to the bar for a drink (the bar was on another level) and bump into another guy I was sort of dating...

I spent the entire night flitting between the 2 levels. Both guys thought I was either crazy or had a drink problem or bladder problem... Never saw either of them (in a date way) again...

[bellestar]

hmm...there was this guy who was introduced to me by a common friend...i thought he had an impressive background, working for an international organization and is well-traveled and has also got an international masters' degree...and so i gave it a shot.

everything was going pretty smoothly until he brought up all these topics about politics and religion, two things that i think should not be brought up on a first date! and he kept checking out the waitresses and everybody who passed by, making remarks like, "whoa, she's hot!" and that made me feel all too uncomfortable.

to top it off, he shared with me his gripes about his ex-girlfriend-- which was the biggest NO-NO in my opinion, although i managed to play the sympathetic friend part. and after coffee, i was supposed to pay for the bill when he intevened and took out his wallet and reprimanded me by saying, "you're too slow!" like i did that on purpose. oh please!

needless to say i never wanted to see him again, although he asked me out again-- no effin' way! hahaha