Top 4 Voicemail Messages

[prighas]

I got this recently--enjoy!

(1). Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone

right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes

doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly.

So leave a message, and when we're done.... brushing our teeth we'll get

back to you.

(2). Hi, this is John. If you are the phone company, I've already sent

the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my

financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are

my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have

plenty of money.

(3). Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.

Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

(4). Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain

silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

[gpt]

"Hello, this is the fridge, the answer phone is busy right now. If you give me the message, I'll write it down and stick it to my door under one of those dinky, little magnet thingies"

My ex-wife hated that one.