The Rites Of Manhood

[Neddy]

An American Indian was going through the rites of becoming an Indian Brave.

The Chief told him that he must have sex with a woman before he could become a man. You should go to the white's man village and become a man in the house that caters to the horny paleface.

So the young Indian went into the village and knocked on the door of the local "House of Pleasure".

The Madam answered the door and eyed him very suspiciously. "What do you want"?, she said. He replied, "I want woman".

The Madam asked, "Have you ever had a woman before?" "No, he replied.

The Madam smiled and said,"Well, we don't take novices here. So I suggest that you go out into the forest and find yourself a nice tree that has a knothole at the proper height and practice on that. When you have the technique down, you can come back."

Two weeks later, there was a knock on the Madam's door once more. She opened it and the young Indian was standing there. "Well, what do you want, Chief?, she asked. "I want woman", he replied. The Madam's face lit up and she said, "I remember you. I told you to go out and practice on a knothole. Did you do that?" "Yes", the Indian answered. "Come on in then and I will fix you up with my very best girl", the Madam said.

She led him into the bedroom and soon a very beautiful girl came in as well. "What would you like me to do?", sha asked. "Take off clothes", he replied. She did as he asked and then she said, "Now What"? "Bend over", was his answer.

The young lady thoght this was becoming a bit kinky, but she did as he asked. While she was standing there nud_e and bent over, the Indian picked up a heavy book that was on the table, and swatted her as hard as he could across the buttocks. The girl let out a scream and yelled, "Why did you do that"?

"Checking for bees", the Indian answered

[John_Betong]

Reminds me of the one about the:

First timer

The young, virgin boy from Alabama drives to the big city in search of a prostitute. He finds one and explains he has never had sex before.

The hooker says, "No problem, honey," and undresses the boy, then herself, and lies down on the bed. He crawls on top of her.

"Okay, stick it in, honey...all the way in...now pull it out...now put it back in...now pull it out..."

"Tarnation, woman!" says the boy. "Will you make up your <deleted> mind?"

[rods]

Reminds me of the one about the:

First timer

The young, virgin boy from Alabama drives to the big city in search of a prostitute. He finds one and explains he has never had sex before.

The hooker says, "No problem, honey," and undresses the boy, then herself, and lies down on the bed. He crawls on top of her.

"Okay, stick it in, honey...all the way in...now pull it out...now put it back in...now pull it out..."

"Tarnation, woman!" says the boy. "Will you make up your <deleted> mind?"

There was once an unemployed, married couple. The bills kept coming in and they decided it was time for desperate measures. The wife would have to go on the game, with the hubbie as pimp.

So they take off for the red light district and find a likely spot. Hubbie waits 'round the corner out of sight while she shows a bit of leg.

Soon enough a car crawls by. It stops up the street, then reverses back towards her. The window winds down and she gets the ball rolling. "Evening, love. Can I help you?" "Er....yeah...er...how much for a w*nk?" says the man, in a state of nervous excitement. "Only I haven't got much money, see." "Just a minute," she says and scuttles round to ask her husband: "Here, how much should I charge for a w*nk?" "I don't know," he says. "A fiver, I guess."

Back she goes and tells the young man: "Five pounds for a good w*nk, love." He says "OK, and ...er...how much for a blowj*b then?" "Just a minute....." Round she goes again and asks her husband for the price. "A blowj*b? Well, gotta be a tenner." Back she goes to the car and duly reports "Ten pounds'll get you the best bj you've ever had, darlin'." Says the man: "Oh, right. And for a shag, how much would that be?" "Just a minute....." etc. etc.

Soon she's back at the car, feeling a little tired. "Well it's twenty quid for a full shag." The young man looks disappointed and says "Oh dear, I've only got fifteen pounds on me. I'll have a blowj*b then." So the woman gets in the car and he whips out his manhood. The colour drains from the woman's face. It's like a baby's arm holding an apple! "Just a minute" she says, and scuttling back to her husband says "Quick, love, lend us a fiver!"