People from the north West of England will probably be familiar with Radio Merseyside and one of its DJs - Billy Butler aka Mrs. Butler's eldest son. Billy has a slot on his Sunday show called 'Hold Your Plums', it's a phone in quiz based loosely on the fruit machine with wonderful, wonderful prizes - well cheap BBC crap. The person who phones in is given an easy question and if they can't answer it they are given an easy set of clues by Billy to help.

For example:

Billy "Who was Thailand's prime minister?"

Caller "I don't know - give us a clue"

Billy "What do you pay to the government -income mmmmmm?"

Caller "Tax"

Billy "If you are not out then you are?"

Caller "At home?"

Billy "No - out and mmm?"

My favourite one went something like this:-

Billy "Which famous movie actor was known as The Duke?"

Caller "I don't know"

Billy "Come on, missus, cowboy and war films"

Caller "I don't know, Give me a clue"

(Few more clues given out with blank responses from the caller)

Caller "Help me, Billy, Help me"

Billy (In a long, slow, John Wayne type drawl "The he11 I will"

Caller "Oh, Billy you're so mean and 'orrible, you helped everyone else!"

I was listening to some clips from this show a few days ago! They're available on the BBC website:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/liverpool/fun/2002/07...ums_index.shtml

The Walter Raleigh one is too much

Some of the radio station phone ins are way funnier that the best, current, British "comedy".

Some of the radio station phone ins are way funnier that the best, current, British "comedy".

For some real screamers of this ilk check out the 'Dumb Britain' selection in Private Eye mag. online.

My personal best of many callers is.?

BB what side of the road do we drive on in the UK?

Caller, I don’t know, give us a clue,

BB go to the front door and have a look,

Caller after a long wait, I still don’t know, BB tearing his hair out, didn’t you see any cars?

Caller, yes but they are driving on both sides of the road.

BB broke down crying

BB "What was Hitlers first name" ?

Caller " err was it heil Billy" !

Billy "Who was Thailand's prime minister?"

Caller "I don't know - give us a clue"

Billy "what's the term for any poison produced by an organism"