Waiter, Waiter......

[Nongwahyay]

Man in a Restaurant: 'Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!'

Waiter: 'Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.'

'Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!'

'Don't worry, sir, the spider in the salad will get it.'

WAITER: 'How did you find your steak, sir?'

DINER:'Quite by accident. I moved a few peas and there it was.'

'Waiter, what soup is this?'

'It's bean soup sir.'

'I don't care what it was, I want to know what it is now.'

'Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.'

'Who said that?'

'Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed a sheep.'

'How do you feel?'

'Very ba-a-a-ad.'

MAN:'Ouch! A crab just bit my toe.'

DR.:'Which one?'

MAN:' I don't know, all crabs look alike to me.'

DOCTOR:'Did you drink your orange juice after your bath?'

PATIENT:'After drinking the bath I didn't have too much room for the orange juice.'

Doctor, doctor, I lost my memory.'

'When did this happen?'

'When did what happen?'

COLIN:'You remind me of the sea.'

ANN:'Because I'm so wild, reckless and romantic?'

COLIN:'No, you make me sick.'

'I've lost my dog.'

'Why don't you put an advertisement in the paper?'

'Don't be silly - he can't read.'

TEACHER:'If I had forty apples in one hand and fifty in the other, what would I have?'

PUPIL:'Big hands.'

TEACHER:'How can you prove the world is round?'

PUPIL:'I never said it was, miss.'

TEACHER:'You should have been here at nine o'clock.'

PUPIL:'Why, what happened?'

'Would you like to buy a pocket calculator, sir?'

'No, thanks, I know how many pockets I've got.'

CUSTOMER:'I would like to try on that suit in the window, please'

ASSISTANT:'I'm sorry, sir, you have to try it on in the changing-rooms, like everybody else.'

'The police are looking for a man with one eye called Murphy.'

'What is the other eye called?'

MAN:'A return ticket please.'

RAILWAY CLERK:'Where to?'

MAN:'Why back here of course.'

[suegha]

The quality of posts in this forum is improving!

[libya 115]

WAITER: 'How did you find your steak, sir?'

DINER:'Quite by accident. I moved a few peas and there it was.'

I like that one, very much indeed.

Merry Christmas!

[Grover]

The quality of posts in this forum is improving!

libya having shamelessly set the bar so low, the only way left is up.

Edited December 26, 2006 by Grover

[suegha]

The quality of posts in this forum is improving!

libya having shamelessly set the bar so low, the only way left is up.

That's a good and valid point, well spotted!

[rods]

The quality of posts in this forum is improving!

libya having shamelessly set the bar so low, the only way left is up.

That's a good and valid point, well spotted!

Perhaps it's a limbo dancing competition Libya's starting up. If so.....

"Doctor, doctor. I feel like everyone just ignores me."

"Next!"

"Doctor, doctor. I think I'm a dog."

"Just lie on the couch."

"I'm not allowed on the couch."

There's more, but I expect you know them too...

[libya 115]

The quality of posts in this forum is improving!

libya having shamelessly set the bar so low, the only way left is up.

That's a good and valid point, well spotted!

My jokes are superb be man-enough to admit it!

My overflowing PM's are testament to my jocular popularity. I am just working on some real rib-ticklers for the New Year!

[Pink Mist]

The quality of posts in this forum is improving!

libya having shamelessly set the bar so low, the only way left is up.

That's a good and valid point, well spotted!

My jokes are superb be man-enough to admit it!

My overflowing PM's are testament to my jocular popularity. I am just working on some real rib-ticklers for the New Year!

might need a bag fulla feathers libby

[lampard10]

True one this..............................On Xmas day one of our customers said " There is a spider in the toilet"

I replied. " Yes, we keep him there so he doesn't walk around the restaurant."

[macb]

True one this..............................On Xmas day one of our customers said " There is a spider in the toilet"

I replied. " Yes, we keep him there so he doesn't walk around the restaurant."

Was it the Norwegian hahaha