The poisonous Brother in Law

thaibeachlovers · August 22, 2017

On ‎8‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 5:35 PM, luk AJ said:

I have no idea how many silent readers are following this particular thread, I just want to come briefly out of the shadow to express my warm feelings to all these contributors of real life stories combined with beautiful writing skills and a wealth of experience and knowledge. I feel that many of you could write books which stories would probably surpass many movie blockbusters. A thread with warm feelings without anger and venom in a way it even repells the well known keyboard warriors is unfortunately a very rare case. I really wish that some of you would share their life stories, so much better reading than all the pulp and fake news of these days.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

Had to chuckle at your plea for us to share our life stories. Perhaps they should have a sub forum for that.

However, while I have had a very interesting life, lived in many countries, been places few others have been, done amazing things, out of all the people I know, not one single person has ever asked me to tell my stories, or look at my photos.

I've been coming to Thailand for over 20 years, a place where millions of people pay loads of money to visit, and nobody I worked with, or knew back home, has asked me a single question about it.

Perhaps the saddest thing about dying is that no one else really knows us, and all that we are vanishes when we are not around to remember it.

I know when I die, they will just throw my personal stuff away, including my thousands of photos from all over the world. Pity, but like they say, life is s*** and then you die.

Rc2702 · August 22, 2017

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't think he means this thread. Plenty of threads on other subforums that deal with rubbish but get dozens of pages of replies.

The "forum" applies to all of TVF, not just this sub forum.

Incorrect he had made a fair few remarks targeting the posters within this thread.

The Dark Lord · August 22, 2017

On 18/08/2017 at 4:26 AM, Odysseus123 said:

Hello everyone,

My apologies for not being in contact but it has been a quite hectic time for me and I do not know how I made it without Captain Anginine egging me on.

But I did..amazing really..but with doctors,tests,hospitalisations etc..etc..it's been kinda busy but I AM HOME!

I have had a very quick look at the topic and have noted that a few of you have been ill.I hope that you are all fully recovered and that all is well..

Many thanks to all for your support for what was,after all,a truly desperate time for me.

Many thanks for being human....

Ody.

Hi Ody old mate,

you bugger, you had us all pissing our pants with worry about you.

Hugely delighted to hear that you made it back, got some proper medical treatment and are possibly sitting back watching the sun dip into the ocean with your loyal and trusted best friend VB right next to you.

Joking apart, great to hear you made it, that's cheered my day up no end.

Rc2702 · August 22, 2017

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

Had to chuckle at your plea for us to share our life stories. Perhaps they should have a sub forum for that.

However, while I have had a very interesting life, lived in many countries, been places few others have been, done amazing things, out of all the people I know, not one single person has ever asked me to tell my stories, or look at my photos.

I've been coming to Thailand for over 20 years, a place where millions of people pay loads of money to visit, and nobody I worked with, or knew back home, has asked me a single question about it.

Perhaps the saddest thing about dying is that no one else really knows us, and all that we are vanishes when we are not around to remember it.

I know when I die, they will just throw my personal stuff away, including my thousands of photos from all over the world. Pity, but like they say, life is s*** and then you die.

Cmon as you say you have had amazing experiences so why end on a life is Sh#t note?

Sometimes I think we all forget this journey of being an expat/adventurer is a dream which many never reach or are too scared to even attempt and yes people fail in all sorts of ways but in the end at least you tried at least you went for what you wanted and you saw a chance and you took it. Not many people do those things.

Stories are better to be shared on places like TVF. They can be reread and reread no need to listen once and be forgotten.

If not for the likes of odysseus, TDL, OSA and my personal favourite, old hippy this thread would have died a long time ago and got sucked into a a firefight between the negathais who have been there done that and the "you farang crowd not family crowd"

Some of these posters have been in thailand 30+ years so these are not negative feelings aimed at there lives as a whole but more the predicaments they have found themselves in of late.

I doubt the bad outweighed the good for the most part and the now may be hard to take, but when the good times were good I'd bet they had no regrets and would not swap those memories.

HooHaa · August 22, 2017

this thread is simply a catalogue of men who made poor choices in a mate or are unable or unwilling to stand up to family.

you made your beds.

The Dark Lord · August 22, 2017

On 18/08/2017 at 10:16 PM, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

Buying your way in is a problem here, agreed. But you need need money to pay for it, as I said above.

Knowing the right person and being in the right place at the right time is not the same, if you know enough to do the job.

Talking of standards, have you had the misfortune to go to a NHS hospital lately?

Anyway, I do understand the point.

Hi oh wise one,

been away Way from the forum for a while mostly to get my head on straight( more of that later) but just to give myself a break from all things Thai.

First thing i realised bavk here here was that I was living in a bubble of self delusion over in LoS, second thing that hit home was the cost of things over here.

after signing up with a cracking doctor ( both professionally and visually) she gave me the once over. As our chum Trans would say a complete MOT but sadly stopped short of an" oil change"

anyway she kicked up a stink stink that I had to pay £70 to see her ( worth every penny, really she is) and got me NHS'd very quickly. The MOT turned up a series of very worrying things including that I had recently had a heart attack ( not surprised when she felt my leg for the DVT) but I was seriously unaware of it. She found all sorts of minor and a few worrying things which she is taking on as a sort of project. In a moment of self pity I suggested I should save the NHS money and take up my Brother in laws offer of borrowing his rope and using the hanging tree at the bottom of the garden. Her response was to put on the stern secraterial look, peer over her glasses and tell me " you will die when I tell you to die and not before!"

oh God I think I am in love...............

Apparently the medical care in Khorat is not up to scratch but, and in answer to your point about the NHS, here ut is free, good and there are some awesome nurses and doctors sashaying around. I have no reason to fault the NHS especially if it means multiple trips to see my doctor.

Oh oh and there was another thing, she has recommended that I consider psyciatric help (I dont think it is because I become a weak kneed jibbering wreck of a schoolboy in a strip joint when I see her) because I inadvertently blurted out the real reason for my return to the UK in one sentence. She was shocked, and after a few superbly worded questions ( oh she us not only massively attractive but clever with it too) she pulled the truth out of me.

Long way way to go but I am now riding in style!

luk AJ · August 22, 2017

Had to chuckle at your plea for us to share our life stories. Perhaps they should have a sub forum for that.
However, while I have had a very interesting life, lived in many countries, been places few others have been, done amazing things, out of all the people I know, not one single person has ever asked me to tell my stories, or look at my photos.
I've been coming to Thailand for over 20 years, a place where millions of people pay loads of money to visit, and nobody I worked with, or knew back home, has asked me a single question about it.
Perhaps the saddest thing about dying is that no one else really knows us, and all that we are vanishes when we are not around to remember it.
I know when I die, they will just throw my personal stuff away, including my thousands of photos from all over the world. Pity, but like they say, life is s*** and then you die.

Live is a challenge and a wonderful experience and then we die..
If I would be able to listen to the real life stories of some members on this forum I wouldn't need true tv that's for sure. Why in this golden age of communication there is this ridiculous facebook but no "book of life"? Even this forum is very limited, what I would like to see is some kind of video recording where members get the floor and talk about anything they want. This should be stored in a database so we can listen to whom we want and when we want. This could add an extra dimension to our lives.

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The Dark Lord · August 22, 2017

On 19/08/2017 at 0:17 AM, Odysseus123 said:

Thank you Andrew,Rhodie,Old Hippy and so many others-I am deeply touched.

The contributors to this topic have managed to create a safe place-a "men's shed" in Aussie parlance-and this is quite a remarkable achievement on what is,after all,a public forum.

Well done to all.

Oddy.

PS..I hope that The Dark Lord is okay...

Hi Ody and once more I have to shout my joy at your return. You have been sorely missed by many on this thread, some just making themselves known to us having previously been thread wraiths (watching but not posting).

you do realise that it is going to cost you a shed load of Aus dollars when we all turn up "chez Ody" in need of a cool tube or two? I am going to have to pop out for a chilled one now just at the thought of it.

Thanks for expressing concern for the dark one. Whilst greatly appreciated your concern for me now I am out of my bubble of unreality in which I had resided for the past four years) is no longer needed as my dark powers are returning ( ask my estate agent who has another "thai minister or butthole" which I chewed out for him).

Challenges getting used to civilised driving driving and customer service but, hey what price freedom?

ok I have a list of previously unrecorded medical problems along with my head that needs attention but the weight off the shoulders the feeling of not having to walk on eggshells that the rozzers are actually there to help you ( mostly) and that there are acres and acres of different beer options. I meN my big sis took me to a place called the gin trap for a weekend. Little sis birthday took from 1600 on day one to 0930 day two non stop. Ooh my head!

The Dark Lord · August 22, 2017

On 20/08/2017 at 11:35 AM, luk AJ said:

I have no idea how many silent readers are following this particular thread, I just want to come briefly out of the shadow to express my warm feelings to all these contributors of real life stories combined with beautiful writing skills and a wealth of experience and knowledge. I feel that many of you could write books which stories would probably surpass many movie blockbusters. A thread with warm feelings without anger and venom in a way it even repells the well known keyboard warriors is unfortunately a very rare case. I really wish that some of you would share their life stories, so much better reading than all the pulp and fake news of these days.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

Wow LAJ my friend, you see this as I do, a healing place, a place for contemplation, a place to receive unsolicited support from an eclectic group of fellow sufferers most of whom we will never know in real life more is the pity.

This group, this band of brothers have some superb raconteurs, so much so that even at my darkest hour,they gave me not only a smile but a reason to live, a reason to get out of bed and most of all the moral strength to do what was right.

I can never ever thank them for what they did for me however I hope that they know how much what they did for me, means.

There are, as always, the odd triller or captain negative endlessly hovering on the far reaches of the thread trying to apoear clever but ending up being just nasty but most of us shrug that off like an annoying turdfly.

thanks for "coming out" and making us aware of your interest and your thoughts, you are welcome by me and I am pretty confident the other thread brothers welcome you too.

Enjoy the ride!

Been there done that · August 22, 2017

1 hour ago, HooHaa said:

this thread is simply a catalogue of men who made poor choices in a mate or are unable or unwilling to stand up to family.

you made your beds.

Who is for real and who is not for real.

Easy to spot.

Been there done that · August 22, 2017

1 hour ago, Rc2702 said:

Incorrect he had made a fair few remarks targeting the posters within this thread.

Ifso, only at you.

Stop smoking pot. Better for you.

Rc2702 · August 22, 2017

5 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Ifso, only at you.

Stop smoking pot. Better for you.

Get to an AA meeting quick you dim wit. Your the one with the most problems here I suspect. I continue to furnish your bitter remarks where most put you on ignore. It's those few remarks you say that make me certain your that nut job from the family forum. What's his name? Yh you know who you are as do I Ben. Lol absolute fruitcake.

Rc2702 · August 22, 2017

3 hours ago, HooHaa said:

this thread is simply a catalogue of men who made poor choices in a mate or are unable or unwilling to stand up to family.

you made your beds.

This is a dim outlook, standing tall but even the mighty fall and the brave can man up and be honest the rest just pretend and which group do you fall in? Time will tell.

Kadilo · August 22, 2017

this thread is simply a catalogue of men who made poor choices in a mate or are unable or unwilling to stand up to family.

you made your beds.

Whether that's wholly true or not I cannot say as I'm still working my way through. (Good read).

Irrespective of that there is no shame is sharing when things go wrong. One will always find it hard to recover if at first you cannot recognise the mistakes and issues which got you there.

Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

George FmplesdaCosteedback · August 22, 2017

6 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

Hi oh wise one,

been away Way from the forum for a while mostly to get my head on straight( more of that later) but just to give myself a break from all things Thai.

First thing i realised bavk here here was that I was living in a bubble of self delusion over in LoS, second thing that hit home was the cost of things over here.

after signing up with a cracking doctor ( both professionally and visually) she gave me the once over. As our chum Trans would say a complete MOT but sadly stopped short of an" oil change"

anyway she kicked up a stink stink that I had to pay £70 to see her ( worth every penny, really she is) and got me NHS'd very quickly. The MOT turned up a series of very worrying things including that I had recently had a heart attack ( not surprised when she felt my leg for the DVT) but I was seriously unaware of it. She found all sorts of minor and a few worrying things which she is taking on as a sort of project. In a moment of self pity I suggested I should save the NHS money and take up my Brother in laws offer of borrowing his rope and using the hanging tree at the bottom of the garden. Her response was to put on the stern secraterial look, peer over her glasses and tell me " you will die when I tell you to die and not before!"

oh God I think I am in love...............

Apparently the medical care in Khorat is not up to scratch but, and in answer to your point about the NHS, here ut is free, good and there are some awesome nurses and doctors sashaying around. I have no reason to fault the NHS especially if it means multiple trips to see my doctor.

Oh oh and there was another thing, she has recommended that I consider psyciatric help (I dont think it is because I become a weak kneed jibbering wreck of a schoolboy in a strip joint when I see her) because I inadvertently blurted out the real reason for my return to the UK in one sentence. She was shocked, and after a few superbly worded questions ( oh she us not only massively attractive but clever with it too) she pulled the truth out of me.

Long way way to go but I am now riding in style!

Hi TDL,

Glad to hear you are getting "seen to" by the lady doctor.

No surprise you had to pay first time, but beware, anyone away over 2 to 5 years now can be charged for treatment as far as I understand, and that was just a check-up/consultation.

You will also find waiting lists for surgery (should that be necessary) are long again. I also had to laugh (sorry) that they suggest you have had a (probably said mini) heart attack. I bet she has you on Warfarin? Anyone in NHS care over 50 is likely to be prescribed it (rat poison derivative that thins the blood). You will bleed like a stuck pig from a shaving cut, and likely have severe headaches if you drink (worse than a hangover). I was misdiagnosed a few years back with retina damage due to a mini stroke, when in fact I have a cataract, and prescribed Warfarin.

Where you are living in the UK things might be better though, but I can tell you it isn't all luscious doctors and nurses and good medicine in the north. At 92 years old my mother spent 10 hours in an A&E cubicle after a fall, and died two weeks later in a ward, while some of the nurses down the hall were having a party.

Anyway, take care,

I wish you all the best.

George.

George FmplesdaCosteedback · August 22, 2017

On 21/08/2017 at 4:25 AM, Odysseus123 said:

George,

This new medication that they have me on is knocking me about and making me feel quite tired but it is far superior to the first lot they tried which sent me straight into a coronary care unit.In any case it will be about a fortnight before I am re-admitted to hospital for further procedures so I am just trying to take it easy at the moment.

I do understand that one's own experiences are often ignored on the rather dubious grounds of "That will never happen to me-I am wealthier,stronger,more hansum,more intelligent...." but I just felt like describing the process-which I have witnessed many times in that area-in as accurate a way as possible and I would also like to note that it happened to some Thai people that I knew as well..with the same disastrous results.

I had a most curious conversation with an Aussie male (approx 60 years of age) the other day.It started off with a question about my (Thai) walking stick and the chap went on to describe that he had a Thai "girlfriend"-complete with two daughters-who lives "near Phuket" to whom he sends money tho' he has never visited in person.

After a significant pause I quietly replied.."Well..I lived there for six years, would you like to know anything about the politics,society or culture?"

"Ummm..no...maybe some other time.."

"Okay-best of luck!"

Hi Ody,

I had intended to say: please don't try to reply at length as you need to use you strength to recover from not only the ordeal, but your medical problems.

Anyway, thanks and I am relieved you are, despite a mistake, now on a road to recovery.

Yes indeed, people like to do things for themselves and make their own mistakes. Advice, as well meaning as we might be, is not often taken or wanted as you point out.

I gave up giving tourists advice years ago. Some would come back 5 years later to thank me expecting I would remember who they are??? Others had just not listened, and then wanted to know why it wasn't what they were looking for, or had got ripped off on the third flood in Patpong, when that was the first thing I said to avoid.

I just replied to TDL and warned him the UK NHS is not all good news, but I hope his experience is far better than my own. Life in the "Stock Broker Belt" might be a little easier than "up north".

You both seem relieved to be out of the LoS, and that cannot be anything other than a good reason for making the move, no matter how difficult it has been.

Take care,

Best wishes,

G

Edited August 22, 2017 by George FmplesdaCosteedback

Rc2702 · August 22, 2017

Just now, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

Hi TDL,

Glad to hear you are getting "seen to" by the lady doctor.

No surprise you had to pay first time, but beware, anyone away over 2 to 5 years now can be charged for treatment as far as I understand, and that was just a check-up/consultation.

You will also find waiting lists for surgery (should that be necessary) are long again. I also had to laugh (sorry) that they suggest you have had a (probably said mini) heart attack. I bet she has you on Warfarin? Anyone in NHS care over 50 is likely to be prescribed it (rat poison derivative that thins the blood). You will bleed like a stuck pig from a shaving cut, and likely have severe headaches if you drink (worse than a hangover). I was misdiagnosed a few years back with retina damage due to a mini stroke, when in fact I have a cataract, and prescribed Warfarin.

Where you are living in the UK things might be better though, but I can tell you it isn't all luscious doctors and nurses and good medicine in the north. At 92 years old my mother spent 10 hours in an A&E cubicle after a fall, and died two weeks later in a ward, while some of the nurses down the hall were having a party.

Anyway, take care,

I wish you all the best.

George.

92 and an absolutely great innings. She was in A&E and they were partiyng away?

You sure she was not in a ward for pallative care?

I know aproximately 15 nurses and umpteen doctors in and around London. St John's, Gosh etc and none of them work there for a wage they are hard core there up for it and regardless of the state of NHS funds they bloody well work for you and me TO THE END and I'm kind of sick to be repeating my ex's words but I never saw her walk through the door before 9.30pm after starting at 8am and we lived 1 mile from her hospital and it annoyed me but nurses need a break too and if more could be done I do not doubt it would have been, not for a second.

My ex lost her father a giant of a man who had leukemia for 30 years and still built a family and successful biz around his illness, 3 hour dialysis sessions in hospital abroad etc for 30 years and at 67 he passed fighting and still yearning a spicy meal.

In between his wife was suffering from dementia and the last two years of her life were spent trying to stop her getting naked whilst eating dinner. 3 months after john passed she passed. The biggest mistake made was the private care. The NHS is the absolute pride of the British. I'm not talking about the politics or the strategies of the funding cuts I'm talking about the people who enter into it and the all them folks could have gone onto be anything but what they are.

They do not do it for the money or the pension or overtime (unless they do BANK) those people are in it to preserve life to save lives and to feel good about what they do and TDL's example is up there but I'm sorry sir i don't think you portray the truth of the matters as they should be.

I lost my father at 40 and you talk of your loss like it was anything but expected. Your points concern me and I detect a certain negative when you could be celebrating those points. I'm sorry to say but it seems ungrateful.

Edited August 22, 2017 by Rc2702

Rc2702 · August 22, 2017

On 04/07/2017 at 4:29 AM, owl sees all said:

The US Ambassador to Thailand spent 17 years in Thailand back in the 1960s and 1970s. In his telex (remember those) reports he constantly referred to Thailand as the "Land of secrets and half-truths". (Source Wikileaks). That was at the higher levels of Thai society.

It's little wonder some are struggling with the problems in the villages. Understanding what is really going on and trying to decipher the truth within families is very difficult, and stressful, at times.

A similar way of thinking from top to bottom. Just look at the nonsense put out by governments and the smoke screens on the news.

Sorry to say but I normally call Bull shiiit on whatever I am told and then get the truth out the Mrs. Like the absolute gem. My new BIL married my Sil and save 60k baht for there sin sod. They present the cash + some gold and the geezer had to ask for 3k back yo cover his travel. The half truth I hear is "he asked for money" I investigate further and withing 15 minutes all sistets agree he should get at least 10 back without question. The half truths indeed. I just call bull shiit until it makes sense

George FmplesdaCosteedback · August 22, 2017

56 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

92 and an absolutely great innings. She was in A&E and they were partiyng away?

You sure she was not in a ward for pallative care?

I know aproximately 15 nurses and umpteen doctors in and around London. St John's, Gosh etc and none of them work there for a wage they are hard core there up for it and regardless of the state of NHS funds they bloody well work for you and me TO THE END and I'm kind of sick to be repeating my ex's words but I never saw her walk through the door before 9.30pm after starting at 8am and we lived 1 mile from her hospital and it annoyed me but nurses need a break too and if more could be done I do not doubt it would have been, not for a second.

My ex lost her father a giant of a man who had leukemia for 30 years and still built a family and successful biz around his illness, 3 hour dialysis sessions in hospital abroad etc for 30 years and at 67 he passed fighting and still yearning a spicy meal.

In between his wife was suffering from dementia and the last two years of her life were spent trying to stop her getting naked whilst eating dinner. 3 months after john passed she passed. The biggest mistake made was the private care. The NHS is the absolute pride of the British. I'm not talking about the politics or the strategies of the funding cuts I'm talking about the people who enter into it and the all them folks could have gone onto be anything but what they are.

They do not do it for the money or the pension or overtime (unless they do BANK) those people are in it to preserve life to save lives and to feel good about what they do and TDL's example is up there but I'm sorry sir i don't think you portray the truth of the matters as they should be.

I lost my father at 40 and you talk of your loss like it was anything but expected. Your points concern me and I detect a certain negative when you could be celebrating those points. I'm sorry to say but it seems ungrateful.

I understand your comments, and apologise if it came across as a criticism of the staff at the NHS. My mother had a private room down the hall as I said and I doubt it caused her any problem in her last hours. There was nothing they could have done anyway.

I have known and had relationships with several doctors and nurses that worked very long and difficult hours at NHS hospitals. I also know others that work in theater computer systems and psychiatric and dementia wards.

One staff nurse caring for my mother was very concerned. That unfortunately, as you might have experienced, meant I was phoned quite often when she was on duty to come to the hospital 20 miles away, sometimes in the middle of the night, only to find she was stable again. She was very caring, thoughtful and concerned. She was one of the staff the family thanked unreservedly, me included. I have nothing but respect for her like.

My personal misdiagnoses etc is a different kettle of fish however.

The management and funding is where the problem lies, but then we get into politics as you say.

So, I hope you understand what I am talking about.

G

PS. I lost my 2nd wife at 24 when I was 35 and was left with my son to bring up alone. Please don't try to compare loss of a loved one.

Edited August 22, 2017 by George FmplesdaCosteedback

The Dark Lord · August 22, 2017

24 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

92 and an absolutely great innings. She was in A&E and they were partiyng away?

You sure she was not in a ward for pallative care?

I know aproximately 15 nurses and umpteen doctors in and around London. St John's, Gosh etc and none of them work there for a wage they are hard core there up for it and regardless of the state of NHS funds they bloody well work for you and me TO THE END and I'm kind of sick to be repeating my ex's words but I never saw her walk through the door before 9.30pm after starting at 8am and we lived 1 mile from her hospital and it annoyed me but nurses need a break too and if more could be done I do not doubt it would have been, not for a second.

My ex lost her father a giant of a man who had leukemia for 30 years and still built a family and successful biz around his illness, 3 hour dialysis sessions in hospital abroad etc for 30 years and at 67 he passed fighting and still yearning a spicy meal.

In between his wife was suffering from dementia and the last two years of her life were spent trying to stop her getting naked whilst eating dinner. 3 months after john passed she passed. The biggest mistake made was the private care. The NHS is the absolute pride of the British. I'm not talking about the politics or the strategies of the funding cuts I'm talking about the people who enter into it and the all them folks could have gone onto be anything but what they are.

They do not do it for the money or the pension or overtime (unless they do BANK) those people are in it to preserve life to save lives and to feel good about what they do and TDL's example is up there but I'm sorry sir i don't think you portray the truth of the matters as they should be.

I lost my father at 40 and you talk of your loss like it was anything but expected. Your points concern me and I detect a certain negative when you could be celebrating those points. I'm sorry to say but it seems ungrateful.

Hi guys,

I think we all have varied experiences of the NHS. My Father died on the operating table at 75 during a routine operation, my elder sister is a Ohysio who started in the NHS then moved to private then quickly went back to the NHS so that she could ( and I quote) care for real people with real problems. She has worked some god awful hours and has been remunerated appallingly however she refuses to move into private ( she is now a manager of several NHS funded and operated old peoples care homes ) even though to do so would effectively triple her salary so your point about dedication rings very true. Likewise my BiL's brother is a doctor in the NHS and his wife ( nurse at the same clinic) gives him a bollocking daily for working so long hours caring for patients for which his remuneration is no different.

I think the problem does dies stem from us not funding these angels, and they are angels, well enough and as such less European nurses are signing up leaving the places open for Sri Lankan, Indian Phillipine nurses all of whom are great but have different ideas on care to those that we have come to accept.

Yes there are the occasional cock ups and sadly, like an aeroplane crash, hit the headlines and are very sensitive to the relatives but in my very humble opinion they do in general do a cracking job under the circumstances.

Just a quick story about my doc, she was running late by about 30 minutes and when I got in to see her she immediately apologised for being so. My response was that I would rather wait for a doctor whose dedication to the health of her patients took priority over the allotted ten minutes per visit, than one who throws you out irrespective.

Georgio my friend, yes I am able now to kill virtually all the rats in the (choose from the following) a) Government where you reside, London Underground with the amount of warfarin coursing through my veins. That is due to the DVT I had before flying back to Blighty which did not improve by flying.

Sasly this mornings blood tests were to check for over 9 potential ailments. That is outside having to get my knee bone broken and reset sometime in the future and the extensive physio that accompanies it and the cardio all lined up in anticipation. I certainly feel more comfortable here with the medical than that which I experienced back in LoS .

the heart thingy came about due to some very odd readings on my T line ( any ideas chaps?)

my health though is not so much so much physical as psychological and much to my surprise I am lined up to see a shrink to see if he ( or she) can undo that which has been done.

None if this however ever is a patch on what our good friend Ody is going through and though I don't know him, if I could in any way take some of his suffering away, I would gladly do so.

Gotta dash but still we have a great dialogue going on here. Thanks guys,

very best to you all

TDL

Odysseus123 · August 22, 2017

52 minutes ago, The Dark Lord said:

Hi guys,

I think we all have varied experiences of the NHS. My Father died on the operating table at 75 during a routine operation, my elder sister is a Ohysio who started in the NHS then moved to private then quickly went back to the NHS so that she could ( and I quote) care for real people with real problems. She has worked some god awful hours and has been remunerated appallingly however she refuses to move into private ( she is now a manager of several NHS funded and operated old peoples care homes ) even though to do so would effectively triple her salary so your point about dedication rings very true. Likewise my BiL's brother is a doctor in the NHS and his wife ( nurse at the same clinic) gives him a bollocking daily for working so long hours caring for patients for which his remuneration is no different.

I think the problem does dies stem from us not funding these angels, and they are angels, well enough and as such less European nurses are signing up leaving the places open for Sri Lankan, Indian Phillipine nurses all of whom are great but have different ideas on care to those that we have come to accept.

Yes there are the occasional cock ups and sadly, like an aeroplane crash, hit the headlines and are very sensitive to the relatives but in my very humble opinion they do in general do a cracking job under the circumstances.

Just a quick story about my doc, she was running late by about 30 minutes and when I got in to see her she immediately apologised for being so. My response was that I would rather wait for a doctor whose dedication to the health of her patients took priority over the allotted ten minutes per visit, than one who throws you out irrespective.

Georgio my friend, yes I am able now to kill virtually all the rats in the (choose from the following) a) Government where you reside, London Underground with the amount of warfarin coursing through my veins. That is due to the DVT I had before flying back to Blighty which did not improve by flying.

Sasly this mornings blood tests were to check for over 9 potential ailments. That is outside having to get my knee bone broken and reset sometime in the future and the extensive physio that accompanies it and the cardio all lined up in anticipation. I certainly feel more comfortable here with the medical than that which I experienced back in LoS .

the heart thingy came about due to some very odd readings on my T line ( any ideas chaps?)

my health though is not so much so much physical as psychological and much to my surprise I am lined up to see a shrink to see if he ( or she) can undo that which has been done.

None if this however ever is a patch on what our good friend Ody is going through and though I don't know him, if I could in any way take some of his suffering away, I would gladly do so.

Gotta dash but still we have a great dialogue going on here. Thanks guys,

very best to you all

TDL

Count d'Arco.

Good to see you posting again.Oh..no..the dreaded Warfarin.Take care and I will try to write back tomorrow as I am just not up to much today..

Thanks to George too for being so understanding.

Odysseus123 · August 22, 2017

10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Had to chuckle at your plea for us to share our life stories. Perhaps they should have a sub forum for that.

However, while I have had a very interesting life, lived in many countries, been places few others have been, done amazing things, out of all the people I know, not one single person has ever asked me to tell my stories, or look at my photos.

I've been coming to Thailand for over 20 years, a place where millions of people pay loads of money to visit, and nobody I worked with, or knew back home, has asked me a single question about it.

Perhaps the saddest thing about dying is that no one else really knows us, and all that we are vanishes when we are not around to remember it.

I know when I die, they will just throw my personal stuff away, including my thousands of photos from all over the world. Pity, but like they say, life is s*** and then you die.

Your's is a very intriguing post and,to a certain extent,mirrors my own experiences in life.I am going to think more about it and get back to you..

"rage,rage against the dying of the light.."

thaibeachlovers · August 23, 2017

6 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

Hi guys,

I think we all have varied experiences of the NHS.

. She has worked some god awful hours and has been remunerated appallingly however she refuses to move into private ( she is now a manager of several NHS funded and operated old peoples care homes ) even though to do so would effectively triple her salary so your point about dedication rings very true. Likewise my BiL's brother is a doctor in the NHS and his wife ( nurse at the same clinic) gives him a bollocking daily for working so long hours caring for patients for which his remuneration is no different.

I think the problem does dies stem from us not funding these angels, and they are angels, well enough and as such less European nurses are signing up leaving the places open for Sri Lankan, Indian Phillipine nurses all of whom are great but have different ideas on care to those that we have come to accept.

My response was that I would rather wait for a doctor whose dedication to the health of her patients took priority over the allotted ten minutes per visit, than one who throws you out irrespective.

my health though is not so much so much physical as psychological and much to my surprise I am lined up to see a shrink to see if he ( or she) can undo that which has been done.

I think I can contribute to this discussion with some actual experience having been a staff nurse for over 20 years, and having worked in the NHS for 10 years.

No nurse that actually cares about their patients only works the paid hours, or only does what is in the job description. Sadly, while the great mass of people don't give as much as a thought to health workers till they need them, the patients themselves are sometimes the most ungrateful, demanding, and sometimes really horrible people put on the earth, not forgetting the occasional relatives/ friends that treat staff like c***.

I loved the job, but sometimes the people made it a horrid job, and that included the bullies among the senior staff. In the end, I survived by taking a theatre job that required minimal contact with patients, zero contact with relatives/ friends. Unfortunately, it didn't solve the bullying problem.

Not to say that there weren't some really nice patients, that were a pleasure to look after, but many had zero gratitude for the sacrifices we all made. I don't think any ward nurse does it for the money, as it's pitiful, for what nurses do. Likewise, the vast majority of nurses I worked with were wonderful and among the nicest people I know, but the rotten ones made life far more difficult than it needed to be.

It wasn't till I left the service that I realised just how toxic a job it is. I would certainly never recommend it as a career choice to any young person.

When I first started in the NHS many agency nurses were Aussies on OE, and did a great job, but the politicians decided to stop that because it cost too much paying agencies, and made hospitals mainly employ permanent staff, even if they were not as well trained as the Aussies. They also made many stupid economic decisions like contracting out ward cleaning, which led to filthy wards.

The big problems for the NHS as I see it are:

consultants have far too much power

management is incompetent, and too many managers

more interested in fancy buildings than patient care

too many people getting free treatment that were not British ( that may have changed ).

too much political interference

One problem that few of you will know is that the method of training nurses has changed from in hospital to university, which has been, IMO, a disaster, and a reduction in the number of dedicated nurses, requiring the importation of many overseas nurses, like the Phillipinos. The Phillipines trains far too many nurses to work in the Phillipines, with the intention that they will work overseas and send money home. I worked with many of them, and they are qualified, hard working nurses, but their culture is very different in the ward.

I could write enough for an entire thread on this subject, but I'll leave it there.

If any want some expansion on any aspect, only have to ask.

owl sees all · August 23, 2017

26 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I worked with many of them, and they are qualified, hard working nurses, but their culture is very different in the ward.

Please explain about the culture differences TBL. Very interesting!

thaibeachlovers · August 23, 2017

4 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

Please explain about the culture differences TBL. Very interesting!

Only talking about the Phillipinos- they are all university trained and will carry out Dr's orders to the letter. Never in my experience question authority, even if that is not in the patients best interest. Over the years, I had many disputes with Drs over patient care.

Not to disparage them at all. Wonderful, friendly people that work hard, but work to rule, and some of nursing is off the rule book.

Having said that, I'd rather have them than some of the other nationalities that were brought in to make up the numbers, but don't ask about them. That's a swamp too far to get into in public.

owl sees all · August 23, 2017

Thanks for that TBL.

At my daughter's school the English, Maths and part of the Science programme is taught by Phillipinos. When ever I discuss things with them they listen intentively and I get positive feedback.

The daughter's first school (she stayed for two years) getting anyone; teacher, admin, or nun to debate a point with was virtually impossible.

sandrabbit · August 23, 2017

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I think I can contribute to this discussion with some actual experience having been a staff nurse for over 20 years, and having worked in the NHS for 10 years.

No nurse that actually cares about their patients only works the paid hours, or only does what is in the job description. Sadly, while the great mass of people don't give as much as a thought to health workers till they need them, the patients themselves are sometimes the most ungrateful, demanding, and sometimes really horrible people put on the earth, not forgetting the occasional relatives/ friends that treat staff like c***.

I loved the job, but sometimes the people made it a horrid job, and that included the bullies among the senior staff. In the end, I survived by taking a theatre job that required minimal contact with patients, zero contact with relatives/ friends. Unfortunately, it didn't solve the bullying problem.

Not to say that there weren't some really nice patients, that were a pleasure to look after, but many had zero gratitude for the sacrifices we all made. I don't think any ward nurse does it for the money, as it's pitiful, for what nurses do. Likewise, the vast majority of nurses I worked with were wonderful and among the nicest people I know, but the rotten ones made life far more difficult than it needed to be.

It wasn't till I left the service that I realised just how toxic a job it is. I would certainly never recommend it as a career choice to any young person.

When I first started in the NHS many agency nurses were Aussies on OE, and did a great job, but the politicians decided to stop that because it cost too much paying agencies, and made hospitals mainly employ permanent staff, even if they were not as well trained as the Aussies. They also made many stupid economic decisions like contracting out ward cleaning, which led to filthy wards.

The big problems for the NHS as I see it are:

consultants have far too much power

management is incompetent, and too many managers

more interested in fancy buildings than patient care

too many people getting free treatment that were not British ( that may have changed ).

too much political interference

One problem that few of you will know is that the method of training nurses has changed from in hospital to university, which has been, IMO, a disaster, and a reduction in the number of dedicated nurses, requiring the importation of many overseas nurses, like the Phillipinos. The Phillipines trains far too many nurses to work in the Phillipines, with the intention that they will work overseas and send money home. I worked with many of them, and they are qualified, hard working nurses, but their culture is very different in the ward.

I could write enough for an entire thread on this subject, but I'll leave it there.

If any want some expansion on any aspect, only have to ask.

I can remember when I still lived in the UK flying back and my leg swole up and I suspected dvt so went to A&E late at night on a weekday, I was horrified to see the way the staff were treated by drunks and idiots with one guy refusing to stop listening to music on his phone while he was being treated. Some young drunk woman came in after stepping on a broken glass and there was blood everywhere in reception but no one to clean it up and security seemed non existent. I was talking to one of the doctors and he explained it was much worse on the weekends, I don't know how they put with being treated the way were by ungrateful casualties.

I will give another side to the nhs, my father was admitted to hospital on a Friday afternoon with a stroke and as consultants etc weren't available he was treated like shit and without dignity till Monday, British nursing staff left him like a piece of meat in a bed and he complained to us about waiting ages for help with his toilet. He was never the same after that, I think he gave up.

rhodie · August 23, 2017

9 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

Hi guys,

..........

my health though is not so much so much physical as psychological and much to my surprise I am lined up to see a shrink to see if he ( or she) can undo that which has been done.

None if this however ever is a patch on what our good friend Ody is going through and though I don't know him, if I could in any way take some of his suffering away, I would gladly do so.

Gotta dash but still we have a great dialogue going on here. Thanks guys,

very best to you all

TDL

I thought that was our job.

Good luck TDL. I hope it helps getting you further away from the anguish. Sometimes we don't know what it is until it is drawn out and explained away.

thaibeachlovers · August 23, 2017

1 hour ago, sandrabbit said:

I can remember when I still lived in the UK flying back and my leg swole up and I suspected dvt so went to A&E late at night on a weekday, I was horrified to see the way the staff were treated by drunks and idiots with one guy refusing to stop listening to music on his phone while he was being treated. Some young drunk woman came in after stepping on a broken glass and there was blood everywhere in reception but no one to clean it up and security seemed non existent. I was talking to one of the doctors and he explained it was much worse on the weekends, I don't know how they put with being treated the way were by ungrateful casualties.

I will give another side to the nhs, my father was admitted to hospital on a Friday afternoon with a stroke and as consultants etc weren't available he was treated like shit and without dignity till Monday, British nursing staff left him like a piece of meat in a bed and he complained to us about waiting ages for help with his toilet. He was never the same after that, I think he gave up.

Hiring security would require the management to give a monkey's about the staff. In my experience they don't. Never had any support from management. I think they work on the basis that when staff are burnt out and resign they can just hire more from some third world country.

While it's no excuse, I can understand why it happened from my own experience.

I was in an agency at the time and sent to a large London NHS hospital on a weekend. There was ONE permanent staff nurse for a full ward, a few agency nurses and a couple of aides. So most of us knew nothing about the patients, and nowhere near enough to cope with the number of patients.

If the permanent nurse wasn't burnt out by the end of shift I don't know why she wasn't.

In your father's case, I expect there just weren't enough nurses to cope.

In contrast, the time I was sent to a private hospital for the rich and upper class ( Lord and Lady etc ) I spent the entire day with another nurse looking after ONE patient- very boring, but way less stressful than a full NHS ward.

BTW, in a Thai hospital YOU would have been expected to help him and give him the urine bottle etc. Thai nurses don't do personal care, as I found out when admitted one time. That's for the family to do.

When my wife's mother was in hospital, she had to sleep under the bed to help her mother in the night. I saw families actually camped outside, as there was no room inside for them all.

Odysseus123 · August 23, 2017

20 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Reading some of the stories on this thread has convinced me that while I had it bad, I got off lightly.

While things were not the best for the last 2 years of our relationship, I never had the actual verbal abuse till the last month.

BTW, I didn't have "the no benzene" trick played on me because I never paid for diesel unless it was me driving on a trip to the village and I only put in as much as I knew was needed for the trip, so like I said not as bad as it might have been.

Anyway, till the end it was never my wife doing the dirty, but I know her sister was doing everything she could to make her.

If not for the sister, I sincerely believe I'd still be with the wife. It might not have been the best marriage in history, but far from the worst.

The "no benzene" and related tricks with the ensuing verbal abuse was a scenario played out along family lines and generally associated with the doings of the BiL,the stepson and stepdaughter tho' it could extend to other vagrant members of the family as well.

Their laziness and self entitlement was not to be questioned under any circumstances and nor were sundry other very dubious financial dealings the nature of which remained very deliberately hidden under Byzantine levels of secrecy and exotic obfuscation.

In the end I was simply too tired and ill to care.

Edited August 23, 2017 by Odysseus123

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