Enjoying Nightlife When Sober

[JemJem]

Folks,

As a quite heavy-drinking person who would like to quit drinking and also as someone who has enjoyed his fair share of nightlife (involving booze almost every time), I have this question : What would you suggest the best way is to deal with the situation ? I would like to quit drinking but also continue enjoing at least some aspects of nightlife.

How do you (those of you in a similar situation as me) deal with it ? Going to bars/pubs/clubs with folks who don't drink at all ? Going to such venues and sitting far away from the bar and concentrating on an activity such as playing pool ? Reducing the number of hours spent at such places ? Can you enjoy the atmosphere at all without any drinks ? Oh, by the way, I don't smoke...never have and most probably never will...so I doubt very much I would like to go for that as a 'substitute'

Or....do you just say 'I just cannot enjoy being sober at a bar/pub/club in any way so I will just have to do without this aspect of my social life'.

As for me...there have been periods I went on a sober run and there have been times in these periods that I went to a bar/pub/club (some of those times with friends who drank and other times with friends who did not drink). I must say that I got bored big time all those times'. But I must admit that the number of times I was sober at such places is not that high (maybe 6-7 times)...so I guess I shouldn't lose hope yet....also I know that regarding this aspect, for me, there are differences between venues....for instance, I can never see myself enjoying myself when sober at a dance club but I am still hopeful about enjoying myself sober at , say, a pub with live music.

I have never really been the type who drinks at home much (and most of the times that I drink at home, they are the times I start drinking and then leave home to go to a pub, etc and continue drinking there). I mainly drink socially (but, unfortunately I drink a lot). I mean, I drink a lot mainly in order to let go of all the inhibitions, to socialise and to have a cheerful time with friends or people I meet at the venues...and also to dance comfortably....you get the picture, I am sure. Also, I enjoy playing snooker a lot and I just cannot seem to enjoy that when sober.

What do you guys have to say on this subject ?

Later,

Jem

[DrFisher]

The first thing to take into consideration is your age; if you are 40 years old (or close to it) and drinking like a frat boy you may have a problem. My personal experience is, when I was young I couldn't get enough of nightlife and drinking as I got older it wasn't much fun anymore and the urge faded away. A great example, I went out with some of my young American friends (25 year old range, I’m 39 now) on Saturday night and they got smashed I on the other hand couldn't manage to get a good buzz going and left by midnight.

From a professional stand point if you are drinking just as a social lubricant that is not good and I would advise you consult a doctor as there are many medications available that would do the same thing as alcohol but with out the effects. In conclusion I would suggest that bars and pubs are designed to encourage one to drink and spend money that in fact is the point, to get your money. You can find many things to do especially in Thailand that don’t require drinking. I know the temptation is there and if you are not at the bar you feel like you are missing something but believe me your not. If your young and here as a tourist it can be hard to stay away but if you live here and work here set some goals for yourself like saving to buy a car or a condo don’t waste you money at a bar. Good luck!

[robitusson]

Depending on how ingrained your drinking habit is but if I was you I would seriously question what purpose you have going to bars and drinking establishments if you intend to be teetotal. Would you go to a restaurant if you didn't want to eat? Personally I go to bars ocassionally and stay for the length of time it takes to drink a coke. When you give up drinking you are also giving up a part of your social life and a part of your way of relaxing and having fun. Giving up alcohol is a sacrifice.

[dare]

what i would suggest is get a good foundation before you go to pub and clubs what i did was get treatment for my deseas of alcoholism . i went to AA meeting and had to learn a new way of living made new friends worked on my issues and its still on going today am in my 10yh year of soberity and i go out to bar and club and have a great time and when am feeling uncomfortable i remove myself . i suggest AA working the 12steps get some new friend and am not saying this will be easy but it ill be worth the effort good luck

[ThaiPauly]

My time in AA toughtme that it IS possible to go out an enjoy youself without drinking..but normally if you take a freind who also does not drink so you have some back up.

I have had some GREAT nights out in groups of 10-12 Alcoholics just drinking coke and dancing the night away....and is far easier chatting up chick too, as they seem to be impressed by the fact that you are sober, and as far as you are concerned they look exactly the same in the morning (not "with a beer-without a beer") syndrome that was posted on the Jokes foum some months ago..the more drunk you are -the better the girls look!!!

At least if you can stay out of these "Wet Places" till you have got your act together you will have a better chance of enjoying yourself if you feel AA is not for you

BTW I am a firm beleiver that AA works, even though I am not active within it at present

[SoCal]

I was thinking about this very question the other day.

Then I thought of some of the famous rock stars that enjoy sobreity.

Take a guy like Steven Tyler, or an even more outrageous guy like Tommy Lee.

You think they sit around and contemplate such questions, or that their lives are somehow less fulfilled?

Enjoying your life, or even a bar, has less to do with a bottle in your hand, than the state of your mind.

If it is a problem with your personality, that you think is made better with alcohol, then you are wrong, and probably better to work on your personality than pick up the bottle.

[Ijustwannateach]

Glad to see you again, Jem...

Having non-drinking friends does help- I find I drink less when I go out with teetotalling friends.

Assuming you're single, you may also find that focussing less on drinking lets you focus more on good sex- it's a lot better for you!

[robitusson]

Assuming you're single, you may also find that focussing less on drinking lets you focus more on good sex- it's a lot better for you!

???

[Luna]

I agree, non-alcoholic drinking friends would be good support for you when you go to a pub/club. A friend of mine was an extremely heavy drinker and smoker. They were desperate to give up as it was affecting their relationship. They went to a hypnotist (who was also a registered nurse working in the local hospital). The hypnotist told them that they could only help if they really wanted to give up (the 'want' had to be there) and if they were easily hypnotised. My friend went through with it and it worked, since that day they have never touched a drop or smoked. They said that they had the odd craving at first, but nothing to make them give in.

On the social side, they said that they enjoy it just as much and also get to remember the good time they had.

Hypnotism isn't for everyone, but in this case it worked. If you really want to cut down your drinking it can maybe be an option?

[kc_phil]

When you give up drinking you are also giving up a part of your social life and a part of your way of relaxing and having fun. Giving up alcohol is a sacrifice.

Good point. Its worth noting that succesfully 'giving up' a significant part of ones social life involves finding an adaquate substitute. Other posted have already adressed some of these options.

I have spent plenty of time in bars, clubs, parties etc. I hang out until my business is done, then go home. Its quite possible and enjoyable. People watching is fun. With a clear head, I can even beat the girls at Connect-Four occasionally.

Giving up alcohol may indeed be a sacrifice but there are significant gains to be had by making the effort. I think the focus ought to be on the gains rather than the losses.

[kiakaha]

Folks,

As a quite heavy-drinking person who would like to quit drinking and also as someone who has enjoyed his fair share of nightlife (involving booze almost every time), I have this question : What would you suggest the best way is to deal with the situation ? I would like to quit drinking but also continue enjoing at least some aspects of nightlife.

How do you (those of you in a similar situation as me) deal with it ? Going to bars/pubs/clubs with folks who don't drink at all ? Going to such venues and sitting far away from the bar and concentrating on an activity such as playing pool ? Reducing the number of hours spent at such places ? Can you enjoy the atmosphere at all without any drinks ? Oh, by the way, I don't smoke...never have and most probably never will...so I doubt very much I would like to go for that as a 'substitute'

Or....do you just say 'I just cannot enjoy being sober at a bar/pub/club in any way so I will just have to do without this aspect of my social life'.

As for me...there have been periods I went on a sober run and there have been times in these periods that I went to a bar/pub/club (some of those times with friends who drank and other times with friends who did not drink). I must say that I got bored big time all those times'. But I must admit that the number of times I was sober at such places is not that high (maybe 6-7 times)...so I guess I shouldn't lose hope yet....also I know that regarding this aspect, for me, there are differences between venues....for instance, I can never see myself enjoying myself when sober at a dance club but I am still hopeful about enjoying myself sober at , say, a pub with live music.

I have never really been the type who drinks at home much (and most of the times that I drink at home, they are the times I start drinking and then leave home to go to a pub, etc and continue drinking there). I mainly drink socially (but, unfortunately I drink a lot). I mean, I drink a lot mainly in order to let go of all the inhibitions, to socialise and to have a cheerful time with friends or people I meet at the venues...and also to dance comfortably....you get the picture, I am sure. Also, I enjoy playing snooker a lot and I just cannot seem to enjoy that when sober.

What do you guys have to say on this subject ?

Later,

Jem

drink lite beer, alternated with glasses of water.should last an evening if paced right.

you wont get drunk and you'll be able to wake up for that 8am training session at the gym

[JimsKnight]

Depending on how ingrained your drinking habit is but if I was you I would seriously question what purpose you have going to bars and drinking establishments if you intend to be teetotal. Would you go to a restaurant if you didn't want to eat? Personally I go to bars ocassionally and stay for the length of time it takes to drink a coke. When you give up drinking you are also giving up a part of your social life and a part of your way of relaxing and having fun. Giving up alcohol is a sacrifice.

Hmm, On Koh Tao back in my party days I would blast away on the booze. One day I sat down and worked out that just one bottle of cheap singha (small) per day would amount to around 3500 baht per month. Its amazing how many folk say thailand is cheap for booze but if you drink enough of its not!

An Israeli buddy of mine had the right idea, he'd just come into the bar area buy one drink and hang out all night no problem. I did this in Hua Hin for some time, only problem is doing the sober thing or drinking lightly gets some bar owners pissed off and you get them whining or in extreme cases barred!

[iquittoday]

Hi,

I survived my big "test" last night (Saturday) when I went into town (CNX) to meet a few friends for the first time since I stopped drinking. They were drinking their Leos, Heinekens and Sam Songs (I am/was an "elephant man"), and I sat there for a few hours on soda, spiced up with a few slices of lemon.

What works for me sofar (in daily life and on that occasion) is the feeling of pride in myself that I have actually made it this far (17 days without a drop!). Never thought I could! And what keeps me going is looking at my almost 3 yo daughter, knowing that I want to enjoy her for as long as I possibly can (in my early 40's, heavy smoker and heavy drinker for 25+ years, no exercise whatsoever, plenty of financial treoubles to deal with daily, hypertension, I realised if I would continue life as I did, I would be happy to make 50).

We had a good time, didn't do the serious nightlife, just sat at a bar, had a chat and a laugh and a game of pool, then I went home around midnight.

And I just didn't order a drink, if I would, I am almost certain that my friends would have intervened, which also shows me what real friends are.

I am lucky to have friends that understand, know about my "ordeal", are willing to listen to me talking about it (every now and then), the process, the pain, whilst they're drinking their beers or samsong. Their remarks such as "you definitely should be proud of yourself!" makes me feel better as well.

Another plus, I didn't have to worry about crashing the motorbike on the way home, which happened more than once before.

And (important in my current financial situation!) the "Kheb Tang" came to a whopping 60 THB!

Regards,

IQ

[rishi]

Assuming you're single, you may also find that focussing less on drinking lets you focus more on good sex- it's a lot better for you!

???

Assuming the ??? refers to the "Assuming you're single"-part, I don't understand the statement neither ... Why wouldn't a married man (not to mention his wife) enjoy the better sex, that usually comes around after the husband has quit his extensive drinking ?

[kgncc]

Folks,

As a quite heavy-drinking person who would like to quit drinking and also as someone who has enjoyed his fair share of nightlife (involving booze almost every time), I have this question : What would you suggest the best way is to deal with the situation ? I would like to quit drinking but also continue enjoing at least some aspects of nightlife.

How do you (those of you in a similar situation as me) deal with it ? Going to bars/pubs/clubs with folks who don't drink at all ? Going to such venues and sitting far away from the bar and concentrating on an activity such as playing pool ? Reducing the number of hours spent at such places ? Can you enjoy the atmosphere at all without any drinks ? Oh, by the way, I don't smoke...never have and most probably never will...so I doubt very much I would like to go for that as a 'substitute'

Or....do you just say 'I just cannot enjoy being sober at a bar/pub/club in any way so I will just have to do without this aspect of my social life'.

As for me...there have been periods I went on a sober run and there have been times in these periods that I went to a bar/pub/club (some of those times with friends who drank and other times with friends who did not drink). I must say that I got bored big time all those times'. But I must admit that the number of times I was sober at such places is not that high (maybe 6-7 times)...so I guess I shouldn't lose hope yet....also I know that regarding this aspect, for me, there are differences between venues....for instance, I can never see myself enjoying myself when sober at a dance club but I am still hopeful about enjoying myself sober at , say, a pub with live music.

I have never really been the type who drinks at home much (and most of the times that I drink at home, they are the times I start drinking and then leave home to go to a pub, etc and continue drinking there). I mainly drink socially (but, unfortunately I drink a lot). I mean, I drink a lot mainly in order to let go of all the inhibitions, to socialise and to have a cheerful time with friends or people I meet at the venues...and also to dance comfortably....you get the picture, I am sure. Also, I enjoy playing snooker a lot and I just cannot seem to enjoy that when sober.

What do you guys have to say on this subject ?

Later,

Jem

you need to find an activity (excercise or hobby or other outside the bar) that you enjoy so much that the mention of doing it or have plans to do, completely outweight the thoughts of excessive binge drinking, enjoying drinking or can't do with a hangover. This activity you may need to find that you never knew you was for you or could enjoy or something that motivates you for a reward. The opportunities are endless. You don't need to stop drinking altogether, but if you find something more enjoyable this will envitably keep your mind off the drink or out the bar for this very reason.

[Limbo]

Assuming you're single, you may also find that focussing less on drinking lets you focus more on good sex- it's a lot better for you!

???

Assuming the ??? refers to the "Assuming you're single"-part, I don't understand the statement neither ... Why wouldn't a married man (not to mention his wife) enjoy the better sex, that usually comes around after the husband has quit his extensive drinking ?

In a way you are right, but you must admit that there are some big differences.

Monogamy, polygamy, how do they relate to the intake of alcoholic refreshments?

Or should the question be asked the other way around?

There are marriages where drinking supports monogamy (especially 12 glasses or more).

There are also marriages where drinking promotes polygamy (mostly 6 to 12 glasses).

So it might depend on the marriage as well the amount consumed.

Limbo

[Scaramanga]

Assuming you're single, you may also find that focussing less on drinking lets you focus more on good sex- it's a lot better for you!

???

Assuming the ??? refers to the "Assuming you're single"-part, I don't understand the statement neither ... Why wouldn't a married man (not to mention his wife) enjoy the better sex, that usually comes around after the husband has quit his extensive drinking ?

Because after a while the boredom of boning the same woman night after night, year after year, kicks in, and the married man needs a few stiff drinks to increase his desire to do the job.

[dgoz]

Folks,

As a quite heavy-drinking person who would like to quit drinking and also as someone who has enjoyed his fair share of nightlife (involving booze almost every time), I have this question : What would you suggest the best way is to deal with the situation ? I would like to quit drinking but also continue enjoing at least some aspects of nightlife.

How do you (those of you in a similar situation as me) deal with it ? Going to bars/pubs/clubs with folks who don't drink at all ? Going to such venues and sitting far away from the bar and concentrating on an activity such as playing pool ? Reducing the number of hours spent at such places ? Can you enjoy the atmosphere at all without any drinks ? Oh, by the way, I don't smoke...never have and most probably never will...so I doubt very much I would like to go for that as a 'substitute'

Or....do you just say 'I just cannot enjoy being sober at a bar/pub/club in any way so I will just have to do without this aspect of my social life'.

As for me...there have been periods I went on a sober run and there have been times in these periods that I went to a bar/pub/club (some of those times with friends who drank and other times with friends who did not drink). I must say that I got bored big time all those times'. But I must admit that the number of times I was sober at such places is not that high (maybe 6-7 times)...so I guess I shouldn't lose hope yet....also I know that regarding this aspect, for me, there are differences between venues....for instance, I can never see myself enjoying myself when sober at a dance club but I am still hopeful about enjoying myself sober at , say, a pub with live music.

I have never really been the type who drinks at home much (and most of the times that I drink at home, they are the times I start drinking and then leave home to go to a pub, etc and continue drinking there). I mainly drink socially (but, unfortunately I drink a lot). I mean, I drink a lot mainly in order to let go of all the inhibitions, to socialise and to have a cheerful time with friends or people I meet at the venues...and also to dance comfortably....you get the picture, I am sure. Also, I enjoy playing snooker a lot and I just cannot seem to enjoy that when sober.

What do you guys have to say on this subject ?

Later,

Jem

I was you about a year ago. No, you can't enjoy a night out at the bar sober. Sorry it's true. It's boring and repetitive without piss.

Luckily I found an old-fashioned non-drinking Thai girl who I really enjoy just hanging out with. We go dining, movies, bowling or just stay home and get naked for a few hours (which I couldn't do quite as well pissed).

I also go to the gym now since I'm not hungover everyday.

Unfortunately you may have to see less of some of your friends if you want it to work.

Although I don't miss it, I still love a nice drink sometimes. Just not that often.

[tornado40]

Having realised that too many beers adds on the weight - where otherwise in LOS I should lose some - now go for mixed fruit shake with a measure of vodka

That way its sort of healthy and you are in company with your drinking friends

[unforgiven]

Depending on how ingrained your drinking habit is but if I was you I would seriously question what purpose you have going to bars and drinking establishments if you intend to be teetotal. Would you go to a restaurant if you didn't want to eat? Personally I go to bars ocassionally and stay for the length of time it takes to drink a coke. When you give up drinking you are also giving up a part of your social life and a part of your way of relaxing and having fun. Giving up alcohol is a sacrifice.

Ya don't go to loud bars, go bowling, shoot pool, movies or go out to dinner and just have a few drinks with your meal