Harry Palmer

I was also told to keep my plate looking "neat"...

Keep the Rice at one third of the plate.. keep what I'm about to eat with it on another 1/3, and what I don't want to eat on the last 1/3.

And try not to knock rice off the plate!

ChrisP

Oh, and if you're with a bf/gf who doesn't earn much, and you're obviously the most "well-off" person there... expect to pay anyway.

Harry, are you bored today or something?

one minute you're a top notch teacher (maybe a bit of a pervo also ) and the next minute you're asking advice on how to eat your dinner (whilst keeping an eye on your itemised bill).

you keep me amused though.

davet... after spending many years perfecting the gentle art of teaching i forgot how to eat... i can't be an expert in evertything

i did stop on my way home last night to watch a couple of fat farangs eating at one of those outside noodle bars... had hoped to pick up a few tips but it only reminded me of two pigs eating from a trough

here is a much better idea, try this Your Age in Dog Years... i'm pushing 250

yep.. so long winded that i fell asleep reading it... 'E' for effort...

do you feel that stricter immigration laws are necessary to help protect the thais from farangs who exploit the favorable exchange rates, and the normally good nature of the thai people, in order to pursue their indulgences...

what are the eating etiquettes in thailand? do thais have european manners or will i have to sit on the floor in a resturant? what do I need to remember while dining with respectable thai people?

also, if you've noticed that the bill seems to not add up, how would you say in thai, that you want the waitress to itemize the bill so you can see what all you ordered? i've heard that some waitresses will give you a total bill and add an extra few baht here and there.

i would like to know how many tv members or family/ friends of members have tried viagra?. i have to admit that i'm tempted but am not really sure what to expect... i don't want to arrive at work with a rather large stiffy which is out of control one day

over the last couple of months i've been noticing an above average amount of hair coming out in the shower or when I brush my hair, etc. my hair isn't looking any thinner I guess, even though i'm trying to convince myself that it is. i've tried to track down some info on hair loss, and so far i've found that it is common to lose 50-100 hairs a day (i guess i'm in that range) and that hair loss resulting from stress usually happens a couple of months after whatever event that may be, so maybe that's one more thing i can blame on my ex . i guess the next step would be to consult with a physician, if for no other reason than to ease my mind. any advice or personal stories out there? thanks you guys...

being a devout catholic i don't believe in all this mumbo-jumbo... no i didn't pray to the god of cars nor offer up any of my mcdonalds hamburgets to the spirits

"I hate school, and I'm not going back!"

have you ever had that thought? lots of teachers do you know, you aren't alone. usually this feeling doesn't last long though. but what happens if you feel this way too much? school is a fact of life for you teachers & us managers. so let's talk about school and what to do when you don't like it...

stress

when you worry about school, it can affect your body. a teacher who feels stressed about school might have headaches, stomach aches or uncontrollable wind. you might feel like you have to throw up & what a waste that would be after all the beer you drankl the night before!

having trouble sleeping is also a sign of stress. and if you're not getting enough sleep, it could be the all-night sex-sessions but more likely it's the worry about school... you probably feel grouchy and tired during the day. feeling tired can make your school day seem even worse...

if you're stressed out, you might have a hard time making decisions, the black socks today or the blue ones. in the morning, you can't decide what to eat, sugar puffs or weetabix, what to wear, or what to pack for lunch. you don't want to go to school, so you put off getting your stuff together. and now you're not prepared to go to school, and you've just missed the tuk-tuk - again!

why do some teachers feel this way?

if you don't like school, the first step is finding out why. you might not like school because a katoey is bothering you, or because another teacher you don't like wants to hang around with you. or maybe you don't get along with your DoS. you might feel different or worry that you don't have enough friends...

sometimes it's a problem with your classes and schoolwork. maybe the work is too easy and you get bored. or maybe the work is too hard, or you don't feel as smart as the students. nervousness or communicating may be difficult for you, but you're expected to do a lot of it. you may be getting farther and farther behind...

when you know why you don't like school, you can start taking steps to make things better...

finding help

it's a good idea to talk to someone about your problems with school. Your DoS, a friendly teacher, yiour mum, dad, relative or Harry Palmer will be able to help you...

feeling better about cchool

first, write down everything you don't like about school. then make a list of the good things you enjoy (even if it's only oggling the girls and lunch, that's a start!).

now, what can you change on the "don't like" list? This may not solve all of your problems but it can help yopu to focus on what you can change and you might be able to put the cool back in school!

dressing for success...

so you’ve read my previous thread on applying for that job & have been successful, despite all the odds. so the big arrives & you ask the question... just how should i present myself at the interview... what to wear… well never mind... my extensive education in the field of ELT & years of experience in interviewing candidates for the most pre-eminent english language schools in, is on hand…

Men

solid colour, conservative suit, the jacket is optional but I like to see one

white long sleeve shirt, clean & pressed with sharp lines

conservative tie

dark socks, professional shoes that are highly polished

very limited jewellery

neat, professional hairstyle unless you are a baldy man of course

please go easy on the aftershave, i have a sensitive hooter

neatly trimmed nails, toe nails as well

portfolio or briefcase

Women

solid color, conservative suit, the jacket is optional but I like to see one…

coordinated blouse,

moderate shoes, please no 6" heels

limited jewelry, perhaps a wedding ring

neat, professional hairstyle

tan or light hosiery

sparse make-up & perfume, its a teaching job not a clowns convention

manicured nails, optional polish but keep to pastel shades

portfolio or briefcase

please let me know id i have ommitted anything... sure you will

///Moderator has omitted quite a bit, but not the extra m in "ommitted"///PB

is that the same as

"it does'nt matter how big it is, it's what you do with it that counts"?

thats what my wife keeps saying

indeed it is... and if you really do have a wife & are faithful to her then i applaud you, i may have mistaken you for one of those sex-pats in the past…

seniority don't count in this part of the board, lessing you're a mod. as for the rest of us we are all equal excepting me of course, cos i am an expert...

Harry, the point is to teach them NEW things, right?  Perhaps you're a professor of Thaiglish? 

"Steven"

i don't consider that an ice-breaker session has to be about leaning new things, it's about getting the group to interact, break down a few barriers, get to know each other... my chums up at cambridge are in agreement with me to...

I'm just whittling a fine piece of birch into a rather nifty little cane

While Pudgi isn't my cup of tea, he does at least seem to be 'himself' (no niceties for the sake of it) on here and does often make good points (God that was hard to say!).

don't be too hard on puggie... he is amusing

i'm a part-time fully qualified lifeguard instructor... where is me voting button? 

i'm currently employed by the regency park hotel as its swimming pool head lifeguard, just in case any fat drunken farangs fall in & start to drown... 

come on down...

i've heard it all now

do you march up and down in ill fitting tracksuit bottoms blowing your whistle at all the kids diving in the shallow end and bombing off the diving boards?

you should have chose a better picture H.

no, as i stated.. i'm there to take care of fat drunken farang ppl. lmuch ike yourself

Harry may be an expert or he may not be an expert. That's not the point. The point is that he tried to stimulate conversation with a very interesting and appropriate topic - that's until <deleted> like Fat Harry jump in because they're one of the sad bastards who see English teachers and the world of TEFL as fair game.

call yourself a moderator?

the first so-called moderating you've done is call a senior member a ######.

i hope you get detention for that

does old Harry Palmer bring you a nice juicy apple every morning.

thank you kindly phil... i am certainly an expert in the field of simulation & i do my utmost to start & respond to topics in this forum in an intelligent & adventurous manner.. as befits a recently DELTA qualified pro.

you're only senior cos you post lots of clap-trap around the rest of the board... why do some ppl. value their post count so much? it's quality not quantity...

I'm a homeroom teacher, so I teach all subjects.  But mostly Math and English, I guess.  Still, there's no option on this poll for someone who teaches all subjects equally.

that's what the otter option is usually for

Harry may be an expert or he may not be an expert. That's not the point. The point is that he tried to stimulate conversation with a very interesting and appropriate topic - that's until <deleted> like Fat Harry jump in because they're one of the sad bastards who see English teachers and the world of TEFL as fair game.

thank you kindly phil... i am certainly an expert in the field of simulation & i do my utmost to start & respond to topics in this forum in an intelligent & adventurous manner.. as befits a recently DELTA qualified pro.

(Sorry Harry, but fatter than is being good, so lets not start it all up again...okay? KK)

a for phil cos he is a star...

shut up bkk barmy .... phil is a good bloke & you are a wacked out sicko...

my dear ToS... a for the coconut-palm gag...

yes the DELTA... only just qualified you know... returned to london especially to do it at the same place i did me CELTA... cos they are a good bunch you know.. i'm hoping to get back to the LoS soom & find employment training some of the wannabe teachers over there, i was so appalled with the standard of teacher training that i felt i had to do someting about it, with the help of the good lord...

cuisinaire rods... my favourite use of these little beauties is when teaching word-stress... i guess on samui you could use some twigs & stuff from the coconut trees to make your own...

guys... don't we have enough discipline issues to face in school without the need to turn my nice little thread into a salacious scene of ELT's & inncocent bystanders... tearing at each others throats... we are supposed to be looking for ways in which to counter & negate this kind of stuff..

i think i will have to ask the moderators to execrice a little corporal punishment shortly

Personally, I think my school could have done a lot more administratively to help teachers prepare for their class, so what I did to learn my kids names could have easily have been done by the school prior to the start of the semester. It would have saved me some time and helped with some of the first day headaches.

Anyway, what I did on the first day of school was I brought in my camera, and had the kids stand against the whiteboard and I took pictures of each kid in the class.

I then printed the pictures out on the computer (XP has some nice photo-printing options, it's pretty easy to do a 4-up print of all the pics in your digital camera's folder).

I then took the black-n-white prints and used them for a variety of purposes. For example, I used them on classroom displays (like class helpers, line helpers, learning teams, etc....) and on name cards (for picking kids for games and activities).

I also sent home a questionaire to the parents, requesting their full names and contact info, and the full names of their kids and important information (like how they are getting home, allergies, learning disabilities or handicaps, and authorized pick-up people).

My school is notorious for misspelling the English version of the kids names. Since I'm teaching the kids how to spell their names, it's very important for me to get it the correct way (the way the parents want it), instead of the way some thai teacher THINKS it should be spelt. My school also doesn't seem to think it's important to collect information on the kids that might be useful to their teacher.

And so I had to compile on this info myself. But once I did, I put the information in a binder (along with a photo of each kid). That way, if there is a substitute teacher for my class one day, he or she would have all the important info on all the kids, plus their photos for easy identification.

Additionally, on my attendence and grading sheets, I pasted small copies of each photo next to each kid's name. That way, when I was reading off attendence or filling in grades, I could put a face with the name every time.

I do wish that my school had done these things prior to the beginning of the school year. It would have been very easy for them to do, since the parents have to come in ahead of time to pay and they have to bring their kids in for evaluation too. It would have been easy at that time to have the parents fill out the questionaire, and have the kids stand for a photo. Then all of that info could have been entered into a database and printed out for each teacher.

Anyway, I found that using photos on all my paperwork really helped me learn all the kids names in a very short period of time.

my gold star award goes to puggie for the imaginitive way in which he responded to the topic

bkk barmy - i believe harry wears a dress to school, also thigh lengh leather boots, hes a bit weird our harry with his obesity problem and ginger hair

recently my class of mature students & i performed the mikado for a selection of well-heeld school dignitaries, and for the benefit of a local charity. yes i did wear a dress & make-up for the performance, i'm not ashamed.

To summarise, suck my balls.

why ask me, or are you that queer that you have to let everyone know? anyway.. you are probably one of those sex-pats who pay for that kind of service anyway... i seem to have touched on a raw nerve.. haven't i?

if you don't like my posts outside the teachers forum then respond to them in the appropriate place, this is a forum for prof. teachers like myself...

do you have anything useful to add to my thread? if not then go & get your ball sucked elsewhere...

don't even think of trying to teach without some form of acredited certification, consider it from the students perspective. would you want to be taught something for which you had paid a serious amount of money (for some), by a teacher who had no at least undergone basic training...

with a degree and a non-CELTA tefl... you will be able to manage comfortably (by thai standards) in the los...

if you want to ELT internationally, the CELTA is arguably more widely recognised...

no worries... you'll be doing us all a favour in coming over... hopefully you will replace one of those kao sarn road frauds with a fake degrees etc...

PS... if you have a beard or facial piercings.. get rid of em' first...

harry wots the best way to remember small wives names, many thks in advance for your advice

uhmmm.. smale wives as in a classroom of small ladies who all happen to be married or is this a more personal question?

for the former, which is more in keeping with the nature & purpose of this forum... i suggest each of the married gals make a name card that is placed on the desk in front of them... or perhaps a stciky label with a name on stuck to their left breast...

the latter then... am surprised that you have one wife let alone two or more... still i imagine a guy as ugly as you, had to pay some poor issan farmer to buy a couple of his daughters.. no doubt they are just an ugly as you... so i suggest trying to remeber their names by associating one of their more prominent features, habits or trait with a phrase or some kind of association...

homework 4 barney... using my the above come up with a few appropriate suggestions, i will be awarding a start for the best one...

If you are going to post cut and paste please give credit to the website and try to use current information. What you posted is from 2001 and is incorrect. Thailand has never used a "firing squad". One person using a machine gun was the method. Lethal injection is the current method.

clap clap

i met madame palmer (of course she wasn't madame palmer then, but technically she isn't madame palmer now... as we have not yet married... hopefully in october).. whilst on a teaching assignment with vodaphone. she was a sales-rep for vodaphone at the time & it was love (or rather lust ) at first sight...