Zyxel

British humour An old gent is in his posh private club reading and having a drink when his fellow member Wardley comes in with his drink and newspaper and sits down. “I say, Wardley,” the first one says, “so sorry to hear you buried your wife last week.” “Yes,” replies Wardley wistfully, “had to…dead, you know.”

A little girl was walking with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating. "What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.The grandmother said, "The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor. "They're just like people, aren't they?" said the little one. "What do you mean?" asked the Grandma. "Offer someone a helping hand, and they f.... you every time!"

Whilst cruising along the highway, a man notices flashing lights in his rear view mirror and pulls over onto the shoulder. After pulling in behind him, the cop walks up to the man's car and leans in through the window. "Sir, have you been drinking this evening?" asks the cop. "No" replies the confused motorist. "Why, was I all over the road?" "No, your driving is fine sir. It's the fat, ugly chick in the passenger seat that's raised my suspicions".