Zyxel

A man is on the beach, sitting in a chair, reading a book. Some woman takes her blanket and sits near him. She says, It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” He replies, “Yes, it is.” She asks, “Do you live around here?” He responds, “I have a condo nearby.” She asks, “Are you retired?” He responds, “I retired about ten years ago.” She keeps asking him questions, and he replies to all her questions. After many questions, she asks, “Do you like pussy cats?” Hearing that question, the man gets up from his chair, goes over to her blanket, unfastens her bathing suit, has sex with her, and then returns to his beach chair. The woman looks at him and says, “Wow, how did you know that’s what I wanted?” He replies, How did you know my name was Katz?”

Whenever Rabbi Lieberman was going to marry two people, it was his custom to invite them into his study right before the wedding to give some last minute spiritual advice. The young couple, Sam and Sadie, enter his study: Rabbi: I always like to give a young couple some advice. But you two look so happy that instead, I’m going to ask each of you why you’re so happy, so maybe I can pass the knowledge along. First, so that Sam can be honest, Sadie, please step out of the room. She does. Rabbi: So, Sam, tell me. Why are you so happy? Sam: Well, Rabbi, I’m a little embarrassed to tell you, but . . . well . . last night, I got the greatest b.... job of my life, and now I’m marrying her! How can I not be ecstatic? Rabbi: This I understand. So please ask Sadie to come in alone. He does so, and she enters. Rabbi: So, Sadie, why are you so happy? Sadie: Well Rabbi, how can I not be happy? Yesterday night I gave the last b.... job I’ll have to give for the rest of my life!