Zyxel

A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those f...... lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."

First time in Vegas I stayed for one night. Checked out in the morning, the bill was $250, and they had added resort fees, and I asked what the heck is that for?! She said the hotel had a pool and internet here and available for use. I said I didn't even use them! She said “Well they were here and available and you could’ve used them.” So I just wrote out a check, but made it out for $50 and handed it to her. She said: “Sir this check is for only $50.” I said “That’s right! I charged you $200 for sleeping with me.” “But I didn’t!” she said. I said: “Well I was here and available, and you could have!”

There was a guy struggling to come up with a costume to wear to a big fancy costume party. Then he had a bright idea. When the host opened the door he found the guy standing there with no shirt or socks on. “What the hell are you supposed to be?” The host asked. He answered “A premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants!”

Do short people start their stores like “When I was little” or do they just say “as I am now?”

A man walks into a bar with a solemn look on his face,The bartender ask “Whats wrong buddy?” He replies “My wife and her high priced lawyer just cleaned me out in divorce court’. “ Damn lawyers, they’re all A-holes”. The man sitting next to the newly divorced guy says, “ Hey mister, I overheard what you just said and i highly resent your remark” “Why, asked the divorcee, are you a lawyer?” “No said the man, I’m an A-Hole”